Song is "Your Fault" by Maddie Malekos on TikTok

Tw: child abuse, guilt, gaslighting

This is your fault

He blinks slowly, finally stopping to think, this wasn't his fault, none of it was. It was his father's.

You're the one to blame

It was his father's fault that his brother hid his needs, refused to talk to them, flinched whenever someone moved to fast, it was their father's fault.

Because you pushed him

For forcing him to adjust, forcing him to learn faster than he could.

It was his father's fault. All of it.

The fear of failure, the lack of motivation...

Did Florida blame himself?

You wanted him to break

He shouldn't, he was a child.

But his father told him for so long that he deserved it, does he still believe it?

This is your fault

He does.

Oh

The realization nearly breaks him, watching his brother cover his flinch with a laugh, pretending he meant to duck down instead of acting afraid.

He would've gotten hit harder for flinching.

He doesn't miss how his brother's gaze seems to linger, watching to be sure he was safe.

You're the reason that he's gone

He didn't have to go through that.

But their parents had to live up to expectations somehow and if that meant forcing them on their child then well, it wouldn't hurt them, who cares?

And I will not take the blame for you

He was working on it, trying to stop blaming himself for what happened to his brother, but it was hard.

Hard to process so many years of lying awake at night wondering what he could've done differently and years of fearing the footsteps getting closer to his door.

No I
Not after what you put me through

It wasn't his fault. 

None of it was.

Oh I
Will not take the blame for something where I had no control
I did what I was told

He still felt like it was, but he was working on it.

Edit: the note at the beginning