(Play music...I guess...oh. And warning cutting and depression

This is from real life situations in my life that happened earlier tonight, though please I ask you not to comment too much. Thsi will be my POV of things

I lay in bed, tiredness hit me like tsunami as I yawned, just then I hear my phone buzz, so by instinct I look over to my desk to see my phone on the lock screen with a new notification. I sighed and picked it up to check it invade it was important, I mean dramas always going down, yes even at 11:21pm. But when I read the text message my heart sank, my whole world cake crashing down. It was from one of my older friends, I say older because we stopped talking for reasons I don't wanna talk about now. But anyways. The text read

Sup bitch, You know your a bitch right? So I heard you were depressed it was the happiest day in my life when I found out you were sducidal! Gosh I can't wait for the funeral

I felt a lump grow in my throat as tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I didn't know what to do. I felt weak and lonely. I sighed and unlock my phone. I stared at the text for what felt like hours, before I press the home button and  close the messages app. I swipe over to the Skype app to see if maybe friends or girlfriend were on. I wait for it to load and when it does my Chats were all blown up, 4 texts from my friend, 5texts 2 missed calls from my girlfriend, 3 from my other friend. Now earlier that night I was on a call with my friends C*****y and M***y. C*****y was acting a little strange and sounded down in the dumps, I had to go for a second so I logged off the call and did my thing until I came back, C*****y said "Oh, Your back" and everything just went silent.

"Ya? What's wrong why is everyone so quiet?"

"Well, you just came in at a rlly And time is all" my other friend said

"Oh, well  what's happening? what's wrong?"

"Don't tell her" said the one that was acting down

"Oh. Ok"

And everything just fell silent. I slowly excused myself with no response and lifted the call once more.

So back to current times I looked through all my messages, still wanting to cry but I held back the tears. I read the messages, but I didn't respond, idk why, I started think down upon myself

Fucking freak

Kill yourself you useless piece of trash.

Your worthless

Their not really worried. They just don't want your death to be on their hands.

I then heard a different voice. It was deeper and not like my own. It was whispering in my ear

Your girlfriends putty dating you

She doesn't CARE you piece of gay ass trash

Kill your self

Useless

Scum

Piece of shit

Just die alright know one wants your around

Coward

As I listen I started crying. I curled up and start s rocking myself back and forth muttering "No stop go away" over and over and over and over again trying to block out the voice. I started full on sobbing as i listened. I got other notification on my phone as it buzzed on the desk. I looked over but I didn't look at it. I looked at the razor blade next to it. Hesitantly I reach over and clutch the sharp object. Holding out my wrist i vein the blade over. Pressing down I dragged it across my wrist, it burned. After a second blood started to seep our of the small cut. I then proceededto scrap up my wrist and arms, loving how the physical pain took away the mental pain. I continued till i had no room. I then started walking on my thighs and shins. Craving my pain into my own skin I cried as tears stung the open wounds. I soon get ahold of myself and put the razor down. I looked at my arm and legs and started to cry harder. I soon laid back onto my bed. Sleep soon taking the best of me as my watery eyes soon shut.

Why me?