INTERLUDE,

Thirteen is a stupid age.

Your life as a teenager finally starts and you're expected to start maturing. Puberty's a bitch and hormones are everywhere. It's the age where everything that you'll regret seven years later happens, even if it is part of the past.

Juwon hated thirteen (mainly because of her awkward puberty phase). She hated the way she was forced to mature early after having lost a family member and she hated having to take care of herself. She was still just a kid, but she understood that her mother couldn't do all the work alone anymore.

She never found the park interesting compared to other kids her age. She didn't find joy in being outside and running under the sun and laughing happily and having friends and... whatever. She didn't like that all the times she'd gone before, she'd been lonely — that didn't seem to change today.

Juwon had been left alone at home, with nothing but a note from her mother saying she wouldn't be home until late that night. This wasn't new for her, but it definitely wasn't something she'd be able to get used to so easily. So, despite clearly opposed to the idea, she decided to spend her remaining time outside.

At a park.

She hated parks.

After hours of sitting on the only empty bench near the playground and watching children (with the expectation of some childish adults) run around under the sun, laugh happily and... have friends, Juwon had confirmed her hate for parks and still, she sat and watched. She doesn't know why when she clearly didn't fit into that scene. Even after the park had cleared and the sun had started to set, Juwon remained on the bench, arguing with herself as to why she hadn't left yet.

"This is stupid," she told herself, staring at the empty swing set that rocked gently because of the wind. "You're not even supposed to be out here, Cha Juwon." Finally, after much arguing with her mind, she'd gotten up and started to walk away but stopped. Juwon turned around, walking towards the swing set and kicking the metal rod harshly out of anger. "Ow," she winced, holding onto her foot. "That stings."

"Hey, you!"

Juwon set her foot down and turned around at the sudden voice. Her brows furrowed, looking in the direction of a boy who stared at her — she assumed it was him that had called her. She squinted, wondering if he perhaps knew her, but he didn't look familiar. She was about to look away and start making her way home when, from her peripheral vision, she saw the boy lean down and grab a stick from the ground. He then proceeded to throw it at her. (It hit her chest.)

The girl stared at him, mouth slightly agape in shock. "What..."

"You...!" She watched as the boy clenched his fists, seemingly angry. "You look ugly!" he yelled, closing his eyes forcefully. "You're ugly!"

Juwon didn't understand what was going on. She'd never been in the situation before (and no boy had ever approached her before either), so she didn't know how she was supposed to respond. "I'm sorry...?" she said.

"You should be!"

She continued to stare at the boy, unable to figure out why he would say such a thing to begin with, but figured it wasn't something she should think about for long. Juwon sighed, picking up the stick that had landed in front of her shoes and walking over to the boy. He took a step back, getting ready to run away but before he could, Juwon grabbed his wrist and opened his balled up hand, placing the stick on his palm. "Here," she said. "Your stick."

The boy looked at her, then at the stick she'd placed in his hand. His gaze lingered on his hand longer than on her. Then, much to Juwon's surprise, his head hung low and he balled his hand into a fist, letting it fall beside him. "Thanks," he mumbled, sniffling and rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

Was he... crying?

"Are you okay?" she asked cautiously. The boy sniffled again and shook his head, avoiding her eyes whenever she tried to meet his. "Hey..."

"Of course I'm okay!" he said, raising his voice. "I'm always okay!" Juwon watched him worriedly. His words contradicted his expression.

"But you're crying," she pointed out.

"I know that!" he said. "Don't remind me!" There was frustration in his voice and it was then that Juwon realized the situation she was in. There was someone crying in front of her and she was doing nothing to help them. This was very awkward for her.

"Do you..." the girl started, hesitant and afraid that he would yell again. "Do you need a... a hug?"

He scoffed, meeting her eyes momentarily then looking away — all she saw was sadness and anger in his eyes. "No," he said, wiping the tears from his face harshly only for new ones to fall. "I don't need a hug."

"Do you want a hug?"

Silence.

He scoffed again, but didn't say anything against it. Juwon took this moment to take a step closer to the boy and wrap her arms around him (awkward and uncomfortably, as she'd never done this before), patting his back gently. This only seemed to fuel the boy's tears more, seeing as he instantly buried his face into her shoulder and sobbed.

It took a while for the boy to calm down but when he did, he was a lot quieter than before. They sat in silence at the same bench Juwon had sat on before, both waiting for the other to say something. When he refused to speak, Juwon took this as a sign that maybe she should break the silence.

She did.

"Are you okay now?" she asked. It was an ignorant question (obviously, he wasn't okay. He just finished sobbing into her shoulder), but it seemed to he the only appropriate question. The boy sighed, intertwining his hands.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I'm still sad, if that's what you mean, but I do feel better."

Juwon nodded. "Cool." She paused, thinking. "How often do you cry into people's shoulders?"

He snorted, laughing at her question. "Not often," he said. "Just this once." She nodded again, crossing her legs only to uncross them. The boy sighed, looking up from his hands and glancing at her. "My name's Heeseung," he said.

"Cha Juwon," she replied, making eye contact with the boy. "I hope you're okay, Heeseung."

"I'll be fine," he said, looking away and focusing on the swing set in the distance. "Everything will be okay." Juwon nodded (she really didn't know what to say to him), staring into the distance as well. In that moment, she'd like to think they were the same — children forced into adulthood too early with problems kids their age shouldn't have. But for a while, Juwon no longer felt the loneliness and frustration she thought she'd feel forever.

She couldn't help but think that maybe everything would be okay.

• • •

seung the rat 🐀

y'all rocking with shin-G 🤨⁉️

juju tf away from me 👽
DIE