"Xoris, wake up! You have to drink your water before the sky opens!" Alaina was shaking me, pulling me out of one type of darkness and into another.

"What? Why are you waking me up so early?" I rubbed at the sand in my eyes, squinting in the candlelight as she slipped a glass of water into my hands. I did drink it though, careful not to spill the liquid on my tunic for fear that it would stain.

"It's the Day of Gratitude, you ashclaeve." Alaina rolled her eyes, but her tone was still soft as she drank her own water.

"Right," I answered. The Day of Gratitude, where one was supposed to imagine what the world would be like if Palkhiv didn't open the sky everyday and Clesydra hadn't gifted mankind her generous red streams. If I didn't drink to my fill now, once the sky was open, I'd have to wait until nightfall.

"Now, Luina is making some pastries down in the kitchen. Do you want any?" She nudged to get me out of bed, something my stubborn, childish-self wasn't exactly keen on at the moment.

"Fine. What else is there to do, anyway?" Still, I swung my legs off the mattress and made my way out of my room. Right before the door was open, I wrapped the blindfold on my face so none of the daylight would make it into my eyes. Of course, it was fine to remove once I was out of the window-filled hallways, but it was still aggravating to have to fumble my way down the stairs. I loathed the idea of not being able to see, and a holiday about it didn't make me feel inclined to be grateful to the gods that supported us celebrating it.

"There's games, food, exercises, majik-practice..." Alaina rattled off, scooping up a candle off the wall to see who else was in the room. It seemed like everyone, and I immediately caught Luke's eye as he attempted to feed baby Asim in the low lighting. He smiled before turning back to ladle another spoonful of mush into their mouth.

"Most of that doesn't even apply to me. I want to read." All the same, I did pick a pastry off a nearby plate, biting into the centre as it released layers of jam and cheese.

"You're just being ridiculous like every Wither!" Alaina shot back. "You can read any other day!"

"Well I want to read today."

"That's all you ever do!"

"Children!" A smack sounded as my hands felt hot and sore. Luina tapped the wooden ladle against her palms, frowning at us. "No arguing. It's a Holy Day."

I frowned as Alaina and I rubbed at our aching wrists, when Luke finally spoke. "Xoris, is this about your exam? Are you worried?"

I blinked at him, at the concern all over his face. I couldn't lie to him. He always knew. "Y-yes. I was just hoping to get a bit more studying in before the end of the tally."

Asim's cries filled the air as Luke interrupted their steady feeding rhythm for a single moment to  hug me. "Don't worry about it. There's no doubt in my mind that you're going to get that scribe apprenticeship, so stop constantly over-thinking and just enjoy yourself for a day, all right? Thinking exercises should be no different than physical ones, so you need breaks for both."

I accepted his comforting embrace with a smile. Luke tended to be right when it came to whether I should worry on a subject or not, so I decided that at least for today, I'd try and not focus on the hypotheticals.

"That's right!" The Warden's gruff voice agreed from somewhere further in the darkness. "You've always been a smart child. When did you start reading again? Two Withers? Three? If anyone is set to pass their exams it's you, so for once, listen to Luke. Really, if anyone is going to be threatened by a day off, it's Merkos."

"Hey! I've done some practice... a few Cracks ago... I'm sure it will be fine," Merkos argued.

The Warden opened his mouth, most likely to tell him that his future should be a higher priority, when the sounds of screams and the scratching of talons on cobblestone filled the air.

"Wh-what is that?" Luina asked, trying to rock baby Ifeh back to sleep in her arms as she came to scream in time with her twin.

"It's Pruul. Nine of them," I explained. I didn't know how I could tell, but the answer floated to my mind easily. 

The Warden nodded, eyes wide as he pushed himself off the couch. His ax lay on the wall, hoisted well out of all our reach with one purpose: To maintain the safety of the fort, and the surrounding towns under the Warden's jurisdiction. He took it without hesitation, snatching another blindfold off the table as he made his way towards the room over, where the exit lay.

"Wait!" I called after him. "You can't take that out there. You won't be able to fight with it on!"

The Warden looked back at me, a pained smile on his face as he pushed his ponytail over his shoulder. "It's the Day of Gratitude, and the sky's open by now. I don't have a choice. Don't worry Xoris. This is Palkhiv's will. I'll live and be back in a quarter turn, so don't wait on me for the festivities." 

With that, the black band was over his face, and he was leaving.

Even with his request, a stilled silence filled the room in his absence. Luina's whispers and hushes didn't aid against the nerve-wracking battle cries and Beast-like screeches outside, and the dark only added to my anxiety. As another blood-curdling scream filled the air, my heart jumped as I recognised it. 

The Warden! With that, I was out of my seat, flinging myself towards the door.

"Xoris, wait!" I could hear Luke call.

"You don't have a blindfold!" Merkos was shouting, panicked.

"Stop, don't go out there, it's dangerous!" 

But I ignored Luina's warning. I ignored all of them, and the bright light past the empty door frame flooded my face to reveal a single, sickening sight.

Only a hundred or so strides from the door lay the Warden, bloodied ax in hand as he faced off a Pruul. The feathered Beast stared down at him over its beak, ready to strike. Emerald blood already dripped down the man's built arms and torso from two previous mistakes. I could barely watch as its head careened down to snap at him, only to miss as he side-stepped just out of reach.

Looking infuriated, the Beast rocked its head back, looking ready to belch. Fire! I thought. It's going to spray him with the fire. "Quick!" I tried to call to everyone indoors. "Help! Somebody!"

The other three were soon at my side, each of them wrapped in blindfolds. Focused frowns spread across their faces as they concentrated on the majik within them. With a flick of his hand, Luke was able to send a blue beam of light in the Beast's direction, while Alaina snapped to try and target its fiery heka, if only to break it with her own will.

The Beast barely looked bothered by it though. It was the majik of children, after all, and it opened its mouth menacingly as the beam missed, shooting past it with Luke unable to see to aim any better. In just a few drips, the fire would be spewing everywhere, with the Warden none the wiser.

"Merkos! Do something!" Alaina shook him as he fumbled with his hands, his mouth wide in panic.

"I-I can't...!"

And with that, the Beast spat liquid flames from its beak, the molten mess dripping onto the Warden as cries of agony filled the air. Moments later, the Beast would find the ax in its leg, and be felled not long after, but even as we all worked to pull the Warden back inside, we all knew he'd never walk the same again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Merkos repeated, tears leaking fast and hot from his eyes.

"It's... it's fine. It's my job to make sure Fort Kamdainn will always be safe, for the village and for travellers. This is Palkhiv's will." 

But even as he sat in the dark, wincing as Luke tried his best to heal the melted remains of his leg, I couldn't help but sit there and fume.

Palkhiv's will... What is Palkhiv's will? If he and Clesydra were so powerful, why didn't they stop the Beasts? Why would they let such awful things happen, and why... Why did they have holidays where you lived in darkness?

And why would they let the Warden get so hurt? My young mind couldn't put it together. He's a good person.

Perhaps it was wrong of me to spend the holiday feeling ungrateful, but that day I felt like there'd already been enough sacrifice.

𓂀

Xoris was glad everyone was kind enough to let him sleep in. He couldn't remember the last time his head had felt so clear. Sitting himself up on the water-filled bed, he flicked his eyes over to the waterclock on the nightstand beside him. A good eight of the twenty marbles that made up the turns of daylight before the sky estimated closing had been pushed to the left side.

Finally, one day of actual rest.

Standing up, he walked over to the window, pushing aside the curtains to look up at the cloud and light constantly flowing in from the blue part behind the sky. There were a good many that day, all a fierce, thick grey from some reason. It was also hot out, as always, making Xoris wonder how Merkos could stand wearing such thick robes every day. He knew it was typical maje attire, but he had practically sweat through the fabric overnight.

His armour stared at him from the other end of the room, and Xoris assumed that it must have been put there at some point by Merkos whilst he slept. Imagining the weight it put on his shoulders every time he wore it didn't sit right with him though, and he grimaced at the idea of putting it all on once again. The concept of wearing a hero's clothes had lost its appeal. Then again, he didn't know what other options he had.

Hmmm...

The closet he'd shared with Luke until all of five Withers ago stood in the corner. Are there still any of my clothes in there? He doubted Luina would have thrown them away, but he was still somehow pleasantly surprised to open up the doors to find two of his meringue-yellow tunics hanging there, looking clean and untouched. I'm so glad I left them behind.

A memory floated up, gentle in spite of the typical feeling of guilt that came with it. How proud he'd been to get his letter of being accepted as an apprentice to the scriptorium, and how he'd claimed that he would only wear the white robes that all scribes wore, as though Luina hadn't put so much effort into making his clothes exactly to his size, even dying them to be his favourite colour.

He knew most teens were rebellious, and he had been much less so than most, but even several Withers later, he still frowned a bit. I ought to do something nice for her sometime, he concluded as he pulled the soft fabric of the tunic over his head. He was surprised it still fit. Then again, he supposed he had already done plenty of growing when he was younger, being nearly twice the size of most people. The fabric reached down to just above his knees, the hem tipped with a strip of white that matched the rim of the short sleeves.

He looked over at the mirror next to him. It had been a while since he'd worn something with so much skin showing, with the deep cut to the collar and exposed calves. With the tunic matching the one he'd worn as a child, a sense of curiosity filled him and he released the hold on his skin, opening up every eye. Every angle of the room began to circle it, the centre of it all holding a single Beast. Was this what he would have looked like, had he known ever since he was born? Had he always been this way, underneath it all? Every memory he had of this place seemed dismal if he looked at it like that.

Terrifying. That was how the Warden had put it. Yet, Xoris wasn't as bothered by it now. With the grey removed from his body, only a few marked up wounds behind, it just... was him, with how he was now, and had been for the past three Cracks.

Am I desensitised or... Was it actually all right to look like this? If his family could still love him, despite everything then... maybe he could too, in time. A light feeling settled in his chest at that. He shot a wincing smile back at the reflection, his cheeks pulling in as countless fangs filled up his features.

Oh right. He had a lot of those now. He turned his head to face a fresh jug of water and a rag on his nightstand. Deciding not to question how much his family had come in while he'd slept, he picked up the rag, hunting through the drawer until he found a small metal tin. Then he dipped the corner of the fabric in the paste inside.

Its salt content wasn't pleasant, but he tried to focus on the potent spices attempting to flavour it while he scratched at anything stuck to the fangs. It took him a while, trying to angle the cloth between each row, but eventually he finished. Sighing, he went to put the rag down again, when he saw his left hand. Both of his mouths stretched into thin, awkward lines.

Well this is going to be a process, isn't it?

A long while later, he stopped, spitting out the salt in his body. He could feel his blood rising with the amount he'd had to swallow. At least it was over though, and as much as he'd put it off, he supposed he had to head downstairs at some point.

Spotting the gloves on his desk, he thought of picking them up for a moment before deciding against it. He did close each Stained feature though before putting a bare hand on the doorknob. There was no reason to scare anyone else, but... his family was willing to listen to him. That meant there was no reason to take extra precaution to hide it either, and he was more than fine at the prospect of choosing both.

He took one last look at the room, keeping his focus entirely on his own, left side before shutting the door and making his way downstairs. Soon, the stone hallway opened up to the main room, where Naeh and Ifeh were playing a game of Lakhira. As Ifeh tossed the two painted sticks in front of her, she noted which colour side they'd landed on, inching her soldier up a few spaces on the board.

"Who's winning?" Xoris craned his head over. He hadn't played in quite some time, but it had been one of his favourites, to the point where Luke had come to despise it later on, having lost so many times.

Naeh jolted at his presence, crawling backwards across the floor, pointed ears twitched down as she stared up at him. Xoris pulled back, scratching at his teeth as his nerves bristled. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"She is," Ifeh answered blankly, and Xoris could see that the skin around her eyes was irritated, no doubt from crying. "Come back Naeh, it's your turn."

Her voice sounded scratched, and Xoris backed up once more to give them space. He didn't like how the child's yellow eyes followed him as he moved away.

"Oh, Xoris, you're finally up?" Luina peeked in from another room, plain white skirts swishing behind her. "Here, I know you missed breakfast, so I kept these warm for you, whenever you came down." She waved him to follow her, and not wanting to be stuck with Naeh's distrust, he made his way into the kitchen.

He could tell by the smell what the meal was before she'd even set it down in front of him. "Here. You never got to eat your sarkya last night, so I had Alaina preserve it with her majik," Luina explained, gesturing proudly to her. Alaina made no comment though, only sipping a glass of water, legs crossed beneath the table.

He felt so awkward, staring down at the plate in front of him: the wrinkled meat as red as his blood even with Alaina no doubt having broken the Stain out of it long ago. It was just sarkya, so why was his stomach churning at the sight of it? He couldn't remember how many times he had begged Luina to make it in the past. He used to enjoy them, and now he could barely think of touching it.

"Is... everything all right?" Luina asked. The question bothered her to have to ask, and even across the room, Xoris could hear her erratic heartbeat. She was shaky enough as it was, and now he was being rude.

Why can't I just eat it? He went to stubbornly lift the fork, but his nausea rose, immediately making him put it down.

"I'm sorry. I... I don't think I can eat things like this anymore." He gave her a pained smile. "I'll be fine though. I can just-"

"Absolutely not! I'm not going to have you skipping meals again." She cut him off. "What do you eat instead, then?"

Xoris instantly pushed away the image that came to mind. "Really anything else, I suppose. I could pull the breading off this and have that, even. You don't have to make something special." He raised his hands up. The amount of concern was bothering him.

"Nonsense. The High Court might not provide for us anymore with the Warden retired, but between Alaina and Merkos we make enough chips to afford something else. Can you have millh? Fruit?" Luina began rummaging through the cabinets, opening one, slamming another loudly as she grabbed containers and spices.

"Y-yes, that's fine."

"I'll figure something out then. Alaina? Would you help for a moment and get him a glass of water? I'm sure he's thirsty."

He actually was from the salt, and he nodded to her as Alaina brought a cup over to the basin of water on the counter. There was a slight tug inside him as she held her hand over it, almost as if he had literal heartstrings, but nothing could have prepared him for the tearing, ripping feeling as she clenched her hand into a fist. The water violently shifted to a deep purple for a moment before her majik destroyed the Stain the water held.

Xoris gasped for breath, his head throbbing as he clutched the front of his tunic, feeling the heka the room burst into nothing. Alaina plopped the clay cup in front of him, the violet tinge of the water already fading down to a thick crimson.

"Are you all right?" Now Alaina was asking.

Xoris only nodded. He knew that was how water was filtered. Alaina had been doing it ever since she'd discovered her majik, saving them hundreds of chips over the Withers without having to buy it that way from the High Court. But this time it had hurt, like someone had attempted to crush him from the inside. He clutched the glass shakily, raising it to his mouth.

It was fine. He'd be fine.

"There, I think that should work out nicely," Luina mused as she strained water out of a small cauldron, dumping the soft, lavender grains into a bowl. Using the knife in her hand as a scraper, she lifted the cutting board, pushing cubed bits of melon and berries onto the pile before sprinkling on some kind of spice. It smelled zesty, but Xoris didn't have enough culinary knowledge to place it. Alaina glanced over at it, nodding in approval.

How easy it would be to make her stab Alaina with the knife. It would only take a glance, and there'd be one less of them.

Xoris' hand jumped up, and immediately he was clasping his left over it, forcing it down into the table. His arms prickled with nerves, especially with the strange looks from the other two. He ignored it, shaking his head to clear it, but the image of green blood on the floor only continued to stain his thoughts. His heart thudded in his ears, wide eyes watching Luina drop the bowl in front of him, none the wiser of the thought he'd just had.

But where did it even come from? He lifted the spoon next to him, lifting the millh to his mouth. The grains were soft and sweet with the most mild of tangs from the spices Luina had added. The cubed bits of warmed melon hit his tongue, pulling some kind of heavy emotion from his chest. That had always been his favourite, before everything had happened. He'd enjoyed it more than sarkya, more than anything, and she knew that. She'd made it just for him, when he couldn't eat much else, and he'd thought of making her kill someone. Why? Tears pricked at his eyes.

Luina's voice cut into his thoughts, her hands clasped behind her back. "How is it? I've never made anything like it before, so I understand if it's strange..."

"It's... It's really good. Thank you," he whispered. He shovelled in another bite as a tear dripped down his face. There was a scraping as Alaina pulled out the chair next to him, and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be demanding or invasive last night. This has been a huge shock for me but... it must have been so much harder for you, and I didn't realise that." She looked directly at him, face sincere. "I'm sure you miss him too. You two were close."

"... I do miss him. I really do." He didn't know if he deserved to, after what he'd done, but his heart ached all the same.

"I just wish we'd gotten to say goodbye," Luina whispered, taking a seat herself.

"You can. I put his body in a graveyard on the outskirts of Korim. Everyone else can visit him," Xoris mentioned flatly, scooping out another bite. After all, there was no reason anyone besides him wouldn't be allowed there.

"How would we get there? Even if Merkos and I used majik to fight off every Stained we met on the way, we'd get tired eventually, and they'd kill us. That's too far," Alaina pointed out, brows wrinkled in confusion.

"What? There aren't that many Beasts." Xoris tilted his head to look at her. "I came across maybe a single Pruul and a Serpentine between here and there, and neither one bothered me."

Alaina blinked at him. "Have you considered that perhaps, there is a small chance that you're not exactly a target for them?"

"Um..." No, no he had not, but luckily, he didn't have to answer further as Merkos peeked into the room.

"Oh! You're awake? Still a late sleeper like always I see. We've all been waiting in the hall to talk to you, if you're feeling any better," Merkos was offering. Xoris nodded, spoon still in his mouth. Anything to get out of the kitchen and away from however the change in water had made him feel. Besides, he still owed them explanations.

His skin tingled painfully as Xoris dipped his empty bowl into the water basin Alaina had purified. Washing it quickly, he jerked his hands out before instantly drying them on the red towel in the room. Xoris could see their confused faces but, with no answer even for himself, he ignored them, making his way out of the kitchen.

The first person to catch sight of him entering the main room was the Warden, who gave him a comforting smile despite the small beads of sweat Xoris could see on his neck and brow. "It's been quite a while since you've dressed like that. I'm surprised it still fits. It suits you though." He nodded at the yellow tunic.

Xoris scratched the back of his head, chuckling hollowly. "You think so? It's what I wore when I was young so... I feel a bit ridiculous wearing it."

"What was ridiculous was wearing a full suit of armour in the house," Merkos cut in with a laugh, reclining on one of the pillows on the floor. He seemed almost back to his casual, inquisitive self, which was a relief. "I guess the king really wanted you protected."

Xoris crinkled his nose at the comment, fists clenching. "If that were the case, he should have done a better job."

At his words, Asim seized up next to their sister's side, a blush spreading behind their dark, freckled face. "Ooh, you shouldn't say that. Speaking against the king is..." Their deep brown eyes flit around nervously. "You could get in trouble for that."

"He's not my king anymore," Xoris stated plainly, watching as Naeh tossed the sticks of the board game once again, advancing crudely carved Beast tokens. It was easier than watching the collective reactions of shock as his family stared at him.

"When I was hired as a paladin, I was promised a lot. But really, they just wanted to use me to commit acts that I just... can't agree with anymore. They used me, lied to me, and I've seen the ways they use any bit of power for their own twisted advantage. I can't support that, and that's why I can't stay here for long. Even as we speak, there's soldiers out there, trying to find me."

Luina looked at him sternly, the same look he'd used to get for sneaking food from the pantry to give to Luke. "Xoris, what did they do? What did you do?"

He swallowed. There was a child present, and the things he'd seen... It wasn't an image anyone would want. It was better not to mention it. Sure, it was what he had come here to do, but now that the moment had arrived, his tongue was slipping, throat seizing in the same, irritating way it did anytime he tried to get words out. "A... a l–l-lot, for-"

"Xoris!" He jolted at the harsh voice of the Warden. "Now is not the time to be vague. Take a deep breath and organise your words, now. There's too much to process, and now you're being chased? What. Happened?"

His stomach knotted tighter, but he forced himself to stop, sigh, and start over. "I... The- the Beast I'm descended from– the Thing of Eyes and Teeth– was supposedly a very intelligent Stained who wanted to seek out one piece of knowledge: how to raise the dead. Supposedly, the two gods didn't think Beasts should have that kind of power and sentenced it to live as a Human as punishment. Then that blood was passed down to me. Kraim... I mean– the advisor– immediately saw me as an opportunity to raise soldiers, whether I wanted to or not."

"That's why they killed Luke. They thought it would get to me enough to bring back that power, and that it didn't matter since he would come back some day. I didn't realise it at first, and when I did... It was too late. I was an ashclaeve, and they almost succeeded."

He began to choke up as he fumbled to get the words out. He could still feel Luke's cold skin in his arms, the unnatural look in his eyes, the final breath as Xoris had tugged away any semblance of life without a second thought.

"...What do you mean, succeeded? You can raise the dead?" Merkos' voice grew louder and higher with each word as he wrapped an arm around Asim, trying to offer the shaking unmal some comfort.

"Not anymore. I never will again." Xoris flipped his wrist over, pushing with his fingers to slightly separate the skin there. Underneath lay stilled white tissue, sitting like a contained bowl of porridge stirred messily with a spoon. The pupil was no longer the slit shape of all the other eyes, but a widened gap that had leaked out to cover the damaged area. He would never see out of it again, or any of those ones, for that matter. Xoris had made sure of that.

He let go of the skin, closing the eye as he watched Ifeh cup her mouth in horror, and he could tell she wasn't the only one bothered. They sat there in silence, thinking. No doubt they'd put together what he had done to Luke, and in turn, what he had done to prevent it ever happening again. The tension was suffocatingly thick, and Xoris couldn't think of much else to do except fidget. His eyes landed on the board game again. I wish I could just go back to times like that. Sitting there, playing with Luke, running around the halls, joking with everyone... Not sit here, waiting for everyone's judgement.

Finally, Alaina went to open her mouth, but was interrupted by a series of bangs coming from the fort entrance. The Warden jolted before looking over at everyone, his gaze finally resting on Xoris.

"I'll answer this. Go wait in another room," he told them, leaving no room for discussion.

Xoris glanced back as he headed to the kitchen, the pounding getting harder each passing drip. There'd been enough reason for surprise when Xoris arrived. It was as Alaina had said. No one was able to travel far with Beasts lurking about, which meant that whoever was at the door, they were incredibly powerful, and they had a very strong reason to be here.