Dear Draco,

Me, judgy? Pssh, you've clearly never met my Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. They're ridiculously judgmental and so. very. No-Maj. Yet, my parents still invite them around for dinner occasionally, and therefore I have to endure a torturous night with my brute of a cousin, Dudley.

I think you'd love them, if you got past the whole No-Maj part, as you're very much alike.

That's extremely rude that you call your friend a bitch. I'm sure Pansy is a very wonderful person. I can't imagine what you would call me.

Also, you and I seem to be total opposites when it comes to appearances. As I live in the South, I'm pretty tan in complexion, and my hair is black, like my dad's. I have green eyes like my mom, though, and so does Isabella. Oh, you'd just love Isabella! I'd like to think I'm fairly muscular, though not ridiculously so. I swim a lot when I'm home and not working, and I have a feeling you're probably taller than me. I'm not short though, keep in mind.

I had a thought the other day, and I'd like to know if it's accurate. When you and I sign off, we always add our middle initials. Mine is a 'J,' and yours is an 'L.' My middle name is after my father, James. Is your middle name after your father's? Leonard, perhaps?

It's a shame you don't have a job. I think a bit of hard work would be great for you. Maybe if you come to the States, I could hook you up.

Sincerely,
Harry J Potter