Once upon a time, I had to intentionally make my heart beat. Every single beat took thought and effort. Making my body function took up so much of my time, I didn't realize where or when I was. Didn't even realize I was alive.

     The story goes that one unfortunate family found their daughter dead on the outskirts of their village, hanging from a tree. However, after passing by an abandoned shrine, a pulse was felt in their little girl's hand...and her body started to breathe.

     Their daughter never came back to them. I did.

     My new body remained comatose for several months as I very slowly settled into her human form. When I had finally settled, at last in full control of the body, it took me another week or two before realizing I could move the body with my will and some effort. From that point on, (Y/n) was alive... But, she was different.

     (Y/n) Knew nothing. Not how to speak, not how to eat, and not how to go to the bathroom either. I had to be taught each one of those things one after the other as I slowly became more cognizant of my own existence.

     The family that claimed ownership over me quickly found out they would never again have their daughter or sister back, so it was physically painful for them to come and visit me. That led to less and less visits, until they stopped seeing me at all and I was put into foster care.

     I wasn't aware that I had to "act human" until three or so years after waking up. My actions were strange to everyone around me. I learned fast, but never for the reasons most children learned. I learned how to speak only to ask for the essentials. I learned how to read only to stop being looked down on and treated like an insult to life. None of the children wanted to "play" with me. I didn't want to play with them either, but was often forced to spend time with at least one unfortunate soul for a few minutes a day. I was clearly different and I knew that, which was why I never tried to act like the others. To "act human."

     The people around me started to suspect I would become some cold blooded killer with how I was acting. But then I changed drastically.

     Adjusting to human society was the hardest part of growing up, especially after emotions started to set in. I was told again and again how valuable life was, but when I tried to exact revenge on a boy my age for murdering an insect, I was treated like the criminal. They went from labeling me cold and emotionless to firey and excessively emotional in the span of a week. I had no idea what was going on either. Just that, if this was really MY life, I should take it seriously, shouldn't I?

     I flip-flopped back and forth between these two extremes, this emotional coldness and fiery passion, for the following years, until finally settling somewhere in the middle. By then, I was pushed out into the world and told to do everything on my own.

     So I did.

- - - - - - - - - - -

     It was in the walls. Reigen knocked on the moldy wood, a medical mask on his face and flashlight in one hand. Serizawa was geared up the same way. The two of them stepped lightly into the dark, abandoned house. So ancient, the roof was caving in, which, thanks to the stormy sky, provided very little light. Reigen may not be psychic, but he'd been in the business long enough to know something was definitely wrong. There was a ghost here for sure.

Thunder rumbled in the sky. The storm was drawing closer.

     "Any luck, Serizawa?" Reigen peered over his shoulder. Serizawa was more tense than he usually was on these jobs.

     "Um-.. no, not really. I can definitely sense it's presence, but... It's... It must be bonded to an object."

     Reigen huffed. "Figures. Ugh. Those kind are the worst to deal with."

     After some more perusing, Serizawa's foot nudged an old doll completely ruined by time. What was left of the doll quickly unraveled itself, tendrils of dirty, sooty matter wrapping around his legs, digging through his clothes to breach his skin. A high, shrill voice cracked into his skull. "Finally, the perfect host to transfer to~ nyehehehehh~ I've been waiting for too long~!" Serizawa was stunned, focusing all his energy on fighting off this strong, spiritual force.

     "Serizawa!!" Reigen noticed and ran over, dropping to his knees to grab and tear at the disturbing object. Its very fibers had fused with the man's pants, now working their way into his skin, so there wasn't much Reigen could do without any spiritual powers! He stood up and slapped Serizawa's face. "Go on the offensive! Give it all you've got and attack it NOW!!"

     A burst of energy sparked down Serizawa's body. So intense and sudden, it exorcised the spirit, leaving nothing but disturbing doll parts in his pants and shoes.

     Reigen caught Serizawa, who'd lost all his strength in that one attack, and helped the man to sit down. Serizawa was panting heavily, sweaty and disorientated. "Why- why didn't-? Why couldn't...you..?"

     "-I knew it would be fiiiine!" Reigen pat Serizawa's shoulders, chuckling lightly. He faked some confidence. "Thought it would be a good opportunity to teach you how to defend yourself is all! Eheheh.."

     Serizawa pat his hand. "Thanks...I ..learned a lot." Reigen hated having to put on such a fake smile. To think he put his friend in so much trouble. He should have done some research ahead of time into what kind of spirit their clients asked them to exorcise!

     "You SERIOUSLY think that's it, huh~?" A blue, snake-shaped spirit floated out of the ground near their feet, giving the two men a devilish grin. "I'm taking that body whether you like it or not~?"

     "H-how is it still alive?!" Serizawa's eyes widened in fear.

     "Must be that (L/n)'s doing!" Reigen stepped in front of him, grabbing fist fulls of salt. "TIDAL WAVE SALT APLAAAASH!" He pulled an elaborate, elegant but strong move of throwing table salt everywhere. The spirit smirked, so sure it wouldn't work-

     Some of the salt particles actually hit the spirit, and it kind of hurt?! "Huh?? Wait huh?! I was told your salt moves were all useless!"

     Reigen smirked. "You mean my ALIBIS told you that to lower your guard~?!" He just used dust from the spirit's previous host mixed with the salt to hopefully scare it off.

     "What!?! You have spies amongst our ranks!?"

     :] "Maybe~" Ranks? So this one was part of an organized group? Though his deceit bought them a few seconds maybe, the spirit retaliated quicker than Reigen would have liked. He was still work-shopping an escape plan.

     "Well your moves are useless, Reigen Arataka!! I am still LEAGUES more powerful than you!!" The spirit flew past Reigen, prying open Serizawa's mouth to crawl inside. Reigen, unable to touch the spirit directly, ran around behind Serizawa to wrap his arms around the other man's head and hold his jaw clamped. The next few moments were frantic. Reigen and the spirit yelled at one another with the two growing more desperate and Serizawa held his breath. Reigen would have likely lost if not for the interruption.

     "Kieu."

     The spirit froze and turned around slowly, breath hitching. Its eyes landed on me, a figure cloaked in black, even wearing a black mask over my eyes. A dark portal was at my back, moving slowly, ominously.

     I spoke again, in a monotone manner. "What are you doing?"

     The spirit let go of Serizawa, Reigen immediately helping the larger man to his feet. "It-it's NOT what it looks like!!"

     "It looks to me like you broke our contract."

     "I- I wasn't going to KILL the guy!"

     "The contract includes nonconsensual possession."

     "That's NOT what I was doing at all!! HOW did you know what I was doing?! Have you been stalking me!?"

     "It's all in the contract. You should have read it." Adjusting my mask. I looked again into the spirit's eyes with a cold hard gaze. "You broke our agreement, forfeiting your right to respawn." I extended my hand, the spirit's very essence breaking apart and streaming into my palm.

     "No, wait, please! I- AAAAA!" The spirit was reshaped into a small, cloudy ball of sorts, which I swallowed with ease. Like eating tasteless cotton candy.

     My eyes flicked up to Reigen and Serizawa's faces. "Sorry you had to get caught up in this. He's been under surveillance for a while now, but, I had no idea he was targeting you, Serizawa."

     "It-it's okay-" Serizawa.

     "Why are you wearing a mask now?" Reigen.

     I tilted my head slightly, then chuckled. "Is it bad I want to add a little dramatic flare~?" Reigen growled, not wanting to entertain my more humorous side.

     "You're NOT a supervillain! And can ya STOP resurrecting spirits?! Most of them are exorcised for GOOD reason!"

     "I wouldn't have a job if I did that..." Leaning slightly, "You're a business man of the shady variety too. And don't forget that, because of me, you get close to twice as many jobs as before." I offered a grin that didn't quite reach my eyes. "So, you should be thanking me~"

     Serizawa stood on his own two feet, clearly tired but ready to put up a fight if he had to. "And what about our business is so shady?? We claim to exorcise spirits and we DO!"

     "Mh... This one doesn't know, does he, Arataka?" I glanced casually over at Reigen with a calm look of challenge.

     Reigen knew exactly my threat and nudged Serizawa. "Come on. Let's go. She won't hurt us."

     Sliding my hands into my pockets, I watched as they headed toward the exit of the old house. Water now poured in through the many holes, thunder crackling overhead. The men hadn't brought umbrellas and yet they expected to walk out into a wall of rain? "Hold." I spoke over the loud noises of rain hitting the roof. I disappeared into the portal, emerging a few moments later with a large, black umbrella. "Here."

     Serizawa took it. "Thanks." Reigen was keeping his distance. Acting cold ever since my indirect threat. He had to be at his breaking point regarding me by this point. Even I was starting to get a little annoyed at myself for how much I kept teasing him, pushing his buttons, hanging that secret of his over his head just to toy with him. I tended to run into him a lot like this at work, so it happened often. I really should stop.

     I shoved my hands back into my pockets. "You want to know why I came to this town?"

     "For Dimple, right?" Reigen answered quietly, clearly ready to end this conversation, as he stepped under the umbrella with Serizawa. 

     "You want to know why I stayed, Number One Psychic of The Twenty-first Century?"

     "..." Reigen stopped. Serizawa had to pause halfway through the door to wait. Reigen knew what I was hinting at. Me moving right next door half a year ago. My near-constant, though indirect form of teasing. The way my mere presence brought about more spirits and therefore more work for him, almost as if to challenge. But he didn't know WHY, at least not clearly. "...Why?"

     I smirked. "Because why not~? I love running prideful men like yourself into the ground~" Ugh. At this rate, I'll annoy myself to death with all this beating around the bush. "Because I thought it was funny. Not only are you a normal guy pretending to be an Esper, but you have real Espers and a spirit working under you...quite powerful ones too..."

     Angrier than before, Reigen turned to face me. "Hey, I really don't like all your inflammatory, slanderous accusations, mam! I know you just want to mess with me, but calling my whole persona a lie when I have already proven myself time and time again is a seriously low blow!" Serizawa watched Reigen stand his ground with clear fascination, but, by glancing at me, knew I wasn't buying it one bit. And he was starting to see why.

     I gave up, turning back to the portal. I exited without saying anything. My lack of a comeback left the empty place even more lacking than before.

     In the haunting silence, the men left under the protection of the umbrella. They took turns holding the handle, since there was that little kid in them not wanting to look gay sharing an umbrella like this.

     The rain water hitting the umbrella was loud and constant. The men were still getting drenched, their shoes and pants mainly. But they had accepted the uncomfortableness of it all. What they couldn't accept was the awkward stillness in the air, urging them to speak.

     When it was finally quiet enough and the two were nearing the station, Serizawa spoke. "-She wasn't lying, was she..." It sounded like his mind was already made up. All he needed was confirmation.

     "..." Reigen stared at the ground, eyes half-lidded and going dull. "Yes." It was only a matter of time before Serizawa knew too. He'd been mentally preparing for this for a while now, but...when the moment came, it was far less dramatic than he expected it to be. Now, with the rain stilling, it was so quiet. 

. . .

     "I'll forget this conversation happened by tomorrow!" Rubbing the back of his head, Serizawa laughed, sweat returning to his forehead as he faked a grin.

     Reigen dragged his feet along. "You really don't have to."

     "But I-" He stopped. Reigen stepped out into the light drizzle where he decided to stay. "...I really want to."

     So, Reigen shrugged. "Okay, I guess. But, if you want to talk about it...just.. let me know..." He wasn't excited to have said conversation, since it couldn't go anywhere but poorly. But, for Serizawa's sake, he wanted to be there for him. Even if that meant letting him go.

     They parted ways at the station. The rest of the day was uneventful and, frankly, rather depressing.

- - - - - - - - - - -

     After walking back home, Reigen couldn't enter his apartment without a little closure.

Knock-knock-knock

     "Alright, you win. You got to me. Now can you leave me alone??" He stood at my door with clear irritation in his voice.

     Little did he know, I was already standing at my door waiting for him to enter his apartment so I could knock on his door. I hadn't expected him to be so direct, but it was clear Reigen had enough. I backed away silently, then approached the door normally. "...I was actually going to tell you... I'm sorry. I've been bullying you like a child lately... It really isn't my style."

     "Oh yeah and what is?" On the verge of sighing, Reigen leaned forward, propping his forearm on my doorframe. He didn't stare at anything but the door. As did I.

     My fingers twitched as I tried to formulate a short response. Instead, my thoughts wandered. "-Truth is, my job wouldn't exist without businesses like yours either... We may be enemies in a sense, but...we also rely on each other."

     "What's that supposed to mean?" Reigen yawned, leaning his side against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. "I'm not teaming up with you if that's what you're asking."

     Speaking more firmly, "I'm saying you're legit to me." Psh. Such childish things coming out of my mouth. My days of emotional outbursts were far behind me. "...You may have no psychic powers of your own.. but.. even so...you've managed to rival even me. The Power Broker... I think that alone makes you real. And your business legit."

...

     "...What's your deal anyways?" No hesitancy in his voice. "Planning to conquer the world someday?" Judging by the humored, lively look in his eyes, he half-hoped I was.

     "Psh. I've never been interested in that sort of thing... Most spirits aren't." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, leaning my back against the neighboring wall in the entryway. I messed with my hair, staring at the floor. "To be honest, I'm still figuring out why I'm here.. who I am.. what I am-"

     "-You're human."

     "What?"

     Reigen scratched at some chipping paint on my door. "About a year ago, I dunno, it may be juvenile..but I had a job that made me question what the real difference is between humans and spirits. And a few since blurred the lines."

     Chuckling, "There are a lot of differences."

     The guy chuckled softly too. "I know... But, on a fundamental level.. all humans are are spirits bound to bodies. Well, you're a spirit bound to a body, aren't you?"

     "Kksh- .. You're right, that is a pretty juvenile way to look at it. For starters, this isn't my body-"

     "-But by now you've lived in it longer than the original owner, haven't you?"

     "..."

     "I mean, you've grown up with it like any other person. The growing pains, the puberty, having to keep it clean and well fed day after day after day after day. That's the kind of thing only humans have to do."

     "But I'm still- ..I- I'm still..." I stared down at my hand, the new perspective..almost giving the flesh more color; more life. "...You really think I qualify as human?"

     Reigen shrugged, his back leaned against the doorframe now. "Yeah, may as well. You can't on command leave that body, can you?"

     "Not without letting it go cold..." The mere thought was starting to make my head spin. What if I WAS human? What THEN?

     I clenched my hand into a tight fist, watching blood leak from my palm. It never felt like a stranger's flesh to me. Well, it did, but it felt like my own, too! I was simultaneously two things: human and spirit. Never in my life did I feel like one or the other. Always some unsavory blend. A creature that shouldn't be.

     I cleared my throat, ignoring those existential thoughts for now. "You're right to be mad at me. I'll...stop bothering you."

     Realizing that meant the conversation was over, Reigen pushed off the wall to stand straight. He bowed his head at the door. "Appreciated." And he awkwardly walked back to his room, surprised that resolved itself as well as it did.

     And I meant it when I said I wouldn't bother him anymore. I shrunk further into my own apartment, which mirrored his based on the layout I saw before moving in. It was simple, cheap, and didn't take up much space. Perfect for a family of one.

     I sat down. But the room was too quiet, my thoughts too loud. I took a shower. But the room was too quiet, my thoughts too loud. I watered my plants and heated up some leftovers. But the room was too quiet, my thoughts too loud. I finally laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling.

     ...Why was I still alive? Why was my heart still beating? I could turn it off at any time and continue life as a spirit, so, why did I cling to mortal flesh? Why did I wish to be perceived by and mingle with the living when my business was with the dead?

     Why did their words still ring in my head? The murmurs and hushed whispers of blurry faces, hardly even acquaintances, saying I was destined for nothing but trouble... Why was there a part of me that always wanted prove to them that I indeed WAS human, though I knew I was not?

     "Quantum."

     A dark portal appeared, this time forming into a more human shape. "Yes, Master?"

     "I'm taking the year off."

     "....What?"

     "You heard me... I'm going to try living as a human...just to see if I can."