It's not just that he makes me feel happy, it's that he makes me feel beautiful and nervous and anxious and excited and embarrassed and awkward and aware and special and funny and interesting. And I know with these kinds of people you have to be yourself around them but I'm so afraid I'm going to scare him away, even tho I know if I do he wasn't right. I'm treating him like he's a stray bunny and not a house cat, if that makes any sense. I have to trust that he likes me for who I am. But the thought of him makes things easier and when I see him or hear his name my heart skips a beat. And I'm scared to be alone becoming more dependant on him throughout the summer when I know next year he won't even speak to me. I want to take a chance but I don't want to take a risk. If I could jump without falling. Cuz he's beautiful and sweet and not like the other douchebags and I'm plain and mean and I try so hard to make my own path but I'm never going to make it without the safety of my friends. I'm loud and obnoxious and he's quiet and thoughtful. I'm not right for him but he's the best im going to get and I'm afraid if I don't do something he's going to move on without me which he's already done but now he's confusing me again. So yeah, idk there's a million more things to say but I guess this is the best I can do right now.