I was following A-Xu down the stairs of the library to try to catch up with him? Although Fucang was just born, he weighed a lot and slowed me down. When I got to the door of our room, I tried to open it...in vain, A-Xu had locked it! He couldn't do this to me! I hadn't gone that far! Well, not farther than usual!... usually!

That was the problem, actually. I couldn't help myself. Even if for me, this kind of little lie didn't really matter to me, it mattered more to my soul mate. How many times since we were in the armory had I promised her that I wouldn't lie to her again? But I couldn't help it. I was so used to it since my childhood, that it had become second nature! Lying was a way for me to get what I wanted against all odds, but with a-Xu, who had the gift of piercing me, it was a different story! With him, lying was the certainty of not getting what I wanted most, namely him and his love!

Now that I think about it, in spite of his tenderness and the fact that he gave in to me, I didn't remember that he had ever told me that he loved me!

What had he said when I had woken up? I had promised him I would never lie to him again and he had asked me how he could trust me? ....Trust! I had asked him to wipe the slate clean and give it to me, that I wouldn't lie to him anymore, but I did it anyway! Was that why he never told me that he loved me? Because he knew he couldn't trust me completely? And me, did I really trust him? If I did, I wouldn't have to lie to him! Yes but, was all truths good to say?

Aaaaah, I had to explain myself to him and we had to find a common ground! I knew pertinently that I could not change like that from one day to the next! He had to realize that! I lived more than 20 years in the ghost valley, 20 years of cheating and lying to survive .... but now I didn't have to fight for that anymore, my life had become peaceful and pleasant with the person I loved ....

In my arms, Fucang began to move; I went downstairs, I knew I would find a chest with a blanket inside. I went to the trunk and unfolded the blanket to make my "baby" comfortable. to finish his nap. Now I could concentrate on A-Xu. He had to open the door for me! So I went back upstairs and started banging on the door.

"A-Xu, open the door, we need to talk.

No answer. I put my ear to the door and listened...not a sound. I tried to open the door again. The system played freely and it swung open. After a moment's hesitation, I pushed it open and entered the room. It was empty, but a cold draft whipped across my face. The door to the promontory was open. I walked slowly forward, swallowing my saliva. Why was he outside? Was he still angry? I was dreading the discussion we were about to have, but it was necessary. I took my courage in both hands and crossed the threshold. There he was, with his back to me, his hair and his blue dress flying in the wind in the late afternoon sun .... I didn't realize that we had stayed so long in the secret room to read! Here the notion of time was different. I approached, a ball in my stomach and worried. I pronounced his name in the softest voice I could...

"A-Xu..."

"...."

"A-Xu, I apologize ...."

"Shut up! "he said in a tone of voice that didn't appeal to me. He turned to me and his eyes struck me with their coldness. I swallowed, it was going to be harder than expected!

"Lao Wen, do you remember the lake?

"Yes, what was he getting at?

"Do you remember what I told you when you asked me to show you my true face?"

"Yes ... I think so ... you told me that everyone who had seen it was dead ..."

"But still..."

" ...."

I really didn't see what he was trying to get me to say!

"I told you that trust must be mutual, Lao Wen every time, it is always me who must make the first step! At the lake I revealed my face to you, but you didn't tell me that you were the leader of Ghost Valley or even Zhen Yan! Then, I let you know that I was the chief founder of the Heavenly Windows. Then I took you to the Four Seasons Manor and welcomed you as if you had never left, and you had nothing to do but set up your plan with Shen Shen, Cheng Ling and Ye Bai Yi! What about me? Where is your trust in me? If you truly gave it to me, you wouldn't have to lie to me all the time!!! "

"A-Xu, trust is complicated for me! When we met again, between the betrayals and those who stayed by my side to get favors, how could you expect me to give it to you? Even if I knew who you were, the years had passed, you could have changed...and become as vile as all those around me! But that's all in the past and what happened today is a trifle!"

"A trifle for you Wen KeXing, but I think that if you are able to lie to me for this kind of thing, what about the most important things in the future? Are you going to risk your life again without telling me? It's already on borrowed time and you know it! "

There, I was right, once again, I had hurt her.

"A-Xu..."

"Lao Wen, we can't go on like this ...."

What was he saying ???? I didn't like his tone or what he was implying. He wasn't going to leave me! It was not possible.

"A-Xu, what do you mean? "

"I think we need to take some distance to think more seriously about our future together, ....si we have one! "His face was cold and icy. He showed no feelings.

He turned back to the surrounding mountains and crossed his arms over his chest. I couldn't believe what I had just heard... I felt like my heart had stopped beating. I could hardly breathe and tears started to well up in my eyes. I couldn't accept it! I grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around and look at me. He stared straight into my eyes and didn't bat an eye.

"Tell me Lao Wen, how does it feel to think of losing the person you love? "I could see sadness and despair in his eyes.

I received a punch in the heart from him, both physically and emotionally.

"Because, you must know that it is this fear, that I feel every day with you! You are so used to lying to your entourage since your childhood that you don't know how to trust, not even me. I had hoped that here, since we are far from everything and everyone, you would learn to confide in me. But I have the impression that it was a futile hope! "

He released his arm that I was still holding and headed for the big door...

I had to act and fast, otherwise I was really going to lose him! He was right, I didn't know how to trust anymore. All the people I had trusted were dead. A-Xiang was the last one.

I turned around and caught up with him, took him by the body and kissed him passionately. I put my hand on his cheek and stepped aside to look into his eyes.

"You're right, it's true! I don't know what trust is anymore. I grew up in a world of hate and deceit where only the law of the strongest existed and with revenge as the only source of energy. Lying became second nature because for me it was the only way to survive another day. The only person I trusted in the last 20 years was A-Xiang and she is dead! And for me, there's no way something like that could happen to you, because you are my life! "

He took my hand and squeezed it with all his might.

"You know that I am not without resources, especially now! If I am your life, it means that we are one and the same and in that case you don't have to hide anything from me...anyway I always know when you lie to me..." he added with a half smile.

"A-Xu, I can't promise you that I won't do it again .... but I will try. I'll..." He put his fingers on my mouth to stop me from finishing my sentence."

"Don't say it..."

"Hmmmm."

I nodded my head, smiling sadly. I had almost lost him once again because of my selfish behavior.

He gave me a light slap on the cheek. I saw a glint in his eyes that did not bode well for me. I felt it at the same time that a shiver went up my back. His enigmatic smile reinforced my concern

"You'll have to make up for the torment you've put me through... "

He suddenly projected his free hand in my direction. I parried his attack without understanding what was happening.

"A- Xu !!!!!"

"Wen KeXing, the outcome of this fight will determine the nature of your punishment!"

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)