Instead of focusing on the happy memories of your childhood, your dumbass brain decided it was going to show you the second most awful day of your life. Thanks dumbass brain. You really needed more pain right now.

It was actually a bittersweet day. It was the day after you turned 100, and the first time you had to leave Loki. "You really have to leave?" Loki asked when you left your suite that morning, your travel pack in your hands. He looked so small and sad, a thin teen with short black hair.

"I don't want to anymore than you want me to," you reminded him softly.

"I could order them to let you stay, finish your training here," Loki suggested, hesitant. He didn't like using his royal privilege. Especially this time when you both knew it wouldn't work.

"Lohk, you know I have to go to the city of the Valkyrie and take the trials," you reminded him patiently. It wasn't any easier on you than him.

"I know, but a year? You've been training your entire life, how can the trials last a year?" he complained. He'd tried to research what the trials entailed, but they were a secret and he couldn't find out anything except that they were a year long.

"You know I don't know any more than you do," you had joined him for countless hours in the library trying to find out anything about what the next year of your life would contain. "I know it'll be hard, but it's only a year. I swear I'll write, and we can visit through illusions. It won't be that bad,"

"Kyrie, you're leaving me alone with the oaf and his annoying friends!" Loki whined. You laughed in reply.

"You'll be so busy you won't even have time to miss me. Your Father has said that he is adding boring court studies and how-to-rule lessons to your magic and fighting lessons. You'll be just as busy as I am," you reminded him.

"Darling, that will not make it any better. More lessons and no you to commiserate with?" he teased, but you saw the hurt in his eyes. He didn't want to lose his best friend for a whole year anymore than you wanted to leave him.

"We'll commiserate together over illusions," you promised. Your magics were both strong enough to make the reach. You sighed heavily. "It's almost dawn. I need to get down to the stables before Mother comes to find me,"

"I'll walk down with you," Loki jumped to offer. You walked in silence down toward the stables. Neither of you had words for how much this year was going to suck, or how to properly say goodbye. Loki stopped you before you had made it to the stables and turned you by the shoulders to face him. He was only a scant inch taller than you. You looked up into his sad green eyes. "I'm going to miss you, little Valkyrie," he told you as you dropped your pack to wrap your arms around his thin waist.

"I'm going to miss you too," you told him softly. You couldn't remember spending more than a couple days without seeing him, ever. The time you were both grounded to separate cells in the dungeons didn't count since you spent the entire time making funny faces to the other across the hall between the cells and writing messages in magic so the other could read them across the hall.

You don't know how long you stood there, just holding each other with tears in your eyes.

"Y/N! I know you're around here somewhere saying goodbye to the Prince, but we have to go!" You heard your mom's voice from the stables proper.

You sighed heavily and stepped out of Loki's arms, bending to pick your pack up again. You stood again to face Loki, to tell him one final goodbye. His cold fingers were suddenly under your chin, gently tilting your face up. "I do apologize for taking advantage of your hands being full, but I would prefer that you do not stab me for simply making sure you do not forget me while you are away," he said with a smirk.

"Lohk," you protested whatever the silly Trickster was planning. He leaned down the scant inch and kissed you lightly, a gentle, tentative first kiss, nothing more than his soft lips meeting yours. It was still perfect.

"Do not forget me while you are away, little Valkyrie," he breathed when he had broken the kiss, his lips scant centimeters from yours.

"Never, my prince," you replied just as softly, dazed with pleasure at your first kiss.

"Y/N!" your mother's voice called more loudly this time. You and Loki both laughed as you separated. He walked with you the rest of the way to the stables and helped you tie your pack onto the saddle of your horse. You said one last goodbye and swung into the saddle lightly.

"Safe travels, Lady Valkyrie, Kyrie," Loki bid you politely, formally, stepping back from the horses, the perfect image of the polite reserved prince.

"Thank you, your highness," you both bid him in reply. You waved to him one last time before he was out of your sight.

*

You jolted awake to the crash of thunder. Storms always woke you, ever since you were a small child. Not for your sake, but for Loki's. You jumped from your bed and ran across the hall, an automatic response. The habit had been broken some in the last 900 years, the storms still woke you, usually just with a thought of Loki, but... Loki was here.

Loki despised storms with every fiber of his being.

You burst into his room without knocking, not at all surprised that his warding on the room didn't stop you or even give token resistance.

He was huddled in a small ball on his bed, hiding under the blankets. Just where you knew he'd be. Loki didn't just hate storms. He was terrified of them. At least in the dark of night. He could grit his teeth and stand them during the day. You told no one of his secret, though Thor knew of course.

You climbed up onto Loki's bed and found him under the blankets, pulling him into your arms. He didn't struggle or protest, just made a whimper at the next crash of thunder. "Shh, love, I have you, you're safe," you told him, rubbing his back and running your fingers through his hair while he clutched onto you.

"Kyrie?" he mewed softly without opening his eyes.

"Of course, love. I'm here," you waved a hand to send an illusion to go wake Thor and make him move the storm along. Another wave of your hand had a shield around Loki's bed, blocking out the sounds of the storm. A third had a pot of tea and two teacups on a tray on his bed next to you for when he had calmed. You don't know how long you sat with him while he held onto you whimpering and scared, but he eventually soothed when he couldn't hear the storm anymore.

He opened his eyes and blinked quickly, confused. "What's-?" he started as he sat up, letting go of you, flushing.

"There was a storm," you told him gently as you shifted to sit cross-legged and pulled the tea tray between you on the bed. You poured him a cup of tea and handed it to him before you poured your own.

"Tea and chocolate cake?" he asked with a smile. You smiled in reply.

"A cureall according to your Lady Mother," you replied with a fond smile. You all had spent many a night hiding from nightmares with Frigga and her cureall of tea and chocolate cake. It was also effective against bruises, skinned knees, broken hearts, Odin being scary, and Thor's friends being mean.

Loki had a fond smile as he clearly remembered all of the times that Frigga had used that particular cureall as well. "Impressive shield," he commented, looking over your work. "I never would have thought of a sound shield,"

"That's because you don't want to be attacked in your sleep, so you won't risk losing your ability to hear beyond the shield," you reminded him. He inclined his head.

"Speaking of," he gave you a look and gestured around you, questioning how you were even in his shielded room.

You giggled at his ridiculous question. "There's a couple reasons, but your shields stopped recognizing me as a potential threat well over 900 years ago," he raised an eyebrow in question. You sighed and flipped your bare arm over so he could see your Valkyrie tattoo properly. "This is one of them," you explained. The actual Valkyrie symbol was a legitimate tattoo, but under that was a magical sigil of your official assignment which changed when assignments did. Most of the Valkyries just said 'Asgard', some said specific missions, your mother's often read 'spy', and many were assigned to specific people. You had only ever had one assignment, and had sworn to it the day after your 101st birthday, the day you passed the trials and returned home to Asgard.

Loki just stared at the sigil of his name on your wrist. "You were sworn to my personal service?" he asked as he reached out to touch the sigil, as if not quite trusting his eyes. He didn't remember and couldn't quite believe that he had been important enough to have his own Valkyrie, though he was a prince and due the honor because of his station.

You nodded and took your wrist back from him. "I am sworn as your personal Valkyrie, and have been since the day I passed the trials," you corrected him firmly.

He cracked a smile as he nodded, accepting your correction. "Of course, my apologies, Lady Valkyrie," his words were formal, but his tone light and teasing.

"Accepted, your highness," you teased right back. The storm had finally ended, so you waved your hand to dismiss the shield.

"Thank you for keeping me company through the storm," he told you softly. He hated appearing vulnerable, though seemed to accept the fact that of course you knew and of course you'd come to help.

You offered him a warm smile. "Tea and chocolate cake really is a cureall, and I never mind keeping you company," you added a little hesitantly.

"It's rude of me to ask so soon after you helped Thor..." Loki started. You set your cup of tea back on the tray, moved the tray aside, and edged closer to him on the bed, without him having to say another word.

"Of course I'll help," you told him automatically. You had just been waiting for some indication that he wanted you to. "It won't be as hard to help you as it was to help that idiot brother of yours, who doesn't have a single drop of magic and yet can't stay out of my way while I'm meddling with his mind. You at least have magic and know how to help, or at the very least stay out of my way," you grumbled as you reached your hands up to Loki's temples. He laughed at your assessment of his brother. "Ready?" you asked, the word also asking permission. It was important to have firm permission before messing with someone's mind.

"Yes," was his simple reply. You looked into his eyes and placed your fingers against his temples as you sank into your power to begin the process of fixing memories all over again. Again, Frigga's work was extensive, but again, she had left you a trail to undo what she did. It just took foreverand a ton of power, easily as much as it had to do this with Thor, only because the memories Frigga had had to cover up had been so much more extensive. There were a lot more of them, and while Thor had loved you like a sister, Loki obviously had loved you as more, and the deeper emotions had been harder to hide and took more power for you to unhide. Loki was there to help you, though, offering power, burning away Frigga's magic where he could, but a lot of this was outside of his ability to help, Frigga really had designed this mess so Loki couldn't break through it and remember you when he wasn't supposed to.

You didn't pry, just as you hadn't with Thor, but that didn't keep you from seeing the last memory and you were going to curse all of the gods and potentially slap Odin for having to bear this memory from three different perspectives now.

Loki begged and pleaded, sobbed for Frigga to help him, for Odin not to send you away. It wouldn't happen again, he'd keep the secret. He'd do anything to keep you from being exiled. But it was no use. Odin was firm and despite that you were both sobbing, he did not give in.

"I won't forget you, I promise, I won't forget!" Loki swore up and down, tears falling freely as he reached for you. You managed to reach him just enough to touch his fingertips with yours.

"I'll remember for both of us," you promised instead. He wouldn't be able to keep that promise. Frigga was too strong at magic and you both knew it. Odin eventually had to shove you bodily into the Bifrost. Loki saw you fight against it, but there was no stopping Odin's will.

I won't forget, he thought to himself over and over as he fought and fought hard against Frigga's magic. He fought valiantly, but she overwhelmed his attempts to shield his mind to defend himself, to hold any of the memories of his childhood, and more importantly of you. The very last one she stole was the exact feeling of your lips on his as he held you in the alcove.

I'm sorry, darling her voice was in his mind. Your father has left none of us a choice. Please, someday, I hope you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me for what I had to do.

"Mother, why are we at the Bifrost?" Loki asked softly when his mind cleared again, roughly wiping the tears from his cheeks. Allergies? Some annoying prank of Thor's with pepper or some spicy food more likely. Why couldn't he remember?

*

You yanked your hands away from Loki's temples, breaking the contact and the spell. You fiddled with the teapot while Loki wiped his tears away in the present. "You should know this, but don't try to remember all at once. That's a lot of memories to go through. Give it time," you reminded him softly, swaying a little. It had taken more magic than you'd expected. You thought Loki would be able to help more than he had. You should have known Frigga's spell would be thorough to block his magic from breaking it to keep him from remembering. So now that the focus and magic had faded from that spell, you were back to fading too fast, twice in the same evening. Great. This really wasn't a common occurrence and had you not been fighting against Frigga, it wouldn't have happened tonight either. Also if either of the princes had an ounce of patience between them...

"Thank you," he told you softly, his voice full of so many emotions you couldn't quite name. His vision finally seemed to clear and he looked at you, as you tried to steel yourself to get off of the bed. Making it across the hall was totally a feasible task. Totally. He chuckled and gently laid you down on the bed. That wasn't helping you get across the hall. "There is plenty of bed for both of us. It's late and been a long night for both of us, just stay here tonight, for sleep." he added firmly, reassuringly. "You're safe with me, little Valkyrie." You were supposed to protest...for some reason, but you couldn't remember why. Something about propriety? Formality? You couldn't remember so it must not be important. Plus there really was plenty of bed. So you settled more comfortably in the blanket Loki draped over you, your head on the pillow that already smelled like him and were asleep before you had consciously decided to stay.

Though to be fair, you weren't consciously deciding anything.