*Levi's POV*

You could tell a lot about a person from how they treated animals.

For the Scouts, it was the horses especially that mattered, as they were one of the few lifelines out beyond the walls. With how the horses had avoided L/N with everything they had, people in the vicinity would mutter about how she would never go beyond the walls at this rate, or how she had to be a bad person and the horses were sensing it.

That was one theory to go with.

However, as Levi continued to watch her, he never once saw her get angry or frustrated with them. Sometimes there was sadness, or it looked like she was on the edge of admitting defeat, but she continued to approach them with patient understanding, as if she knew exactly what they were afraid of, and was asking them not to be because she couldn't change it.

Gradually, the dappled grey allowed her to come closer and closer. They started having problems giving someone else the job of cleaning the stables because she was spending so much of her free time in there, and she would clean while there to allow her to spend more time around the horses and give her something else to do besides just sitting there waiting for skittish horses to calm down. She was smart enough to know that she needed more than just one to calm down around her, though she was still putting in the work to form a bond with at least one. In case she was ever in a position where she needed another horse, though, it seemed she wanted the other horses to at least be comfortable with her presence–hence all the time spent in the stables.

If she wasn't out in the field walking with the mare, then she was inside by the horse's stall, leaning against the wall or sitting against the door. Then, at long last, she could be seen walking around side by side with her horse, the lead short and fairly loose. And after a few days holding a treat into the stall and waiting for the horse to feel comfortable coming up to her to eat it out of her hand, she finally made it into the stall. Her hard work was paying off, as now she could be found inside the stall, gently brushing the dappled grey mare while she spoke in soft tones to the horse, continuing to build up the trust and bond between the two of them.

As Levi stepped into the stables, he could hear her speaking softly with the mare, her words underlined with each thoughtful brush stroke.

"There we go...that's a good girl...see, just like I said, nothing to be afraid of. I know I'm scary, you all remind me every time I come in here, but I'm not going to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone–I'm just here to help. See, that feels much better, doesn't it? I'm not going to hurt you. I promise as long as I'm around, nothing's going to hurt you. There we go...Steady...Shh..."

Levi's head turned slightly at the subject of her rambling, his gaze following down the line until he spotted the stall his horse was in, not far from L/N's horse.

"You don't mind all my rambling, do you, Zephyr? It's nice to talk to someone, even if they're not going to talk back. I haven't had anyone to talk to in..." She grew quiet, and even the brushing stopped for a moment. Curious. "...too long," she finished, her voice hardly above a whisper.

She seemed to quiet down entirely as Levi risked stepping into the stables, and he realized he had been heard, or at the very least she'd become aware she wasn't by herself. Continuing forward casually, Levi turned his head to look into the stable as he passed, spotting L/N with the brush set off to the side and currently working on undoing any tangles in Zephyr's mane. Their eyes met for a moment, and Levi paused.

"Will she let you ride her, yet?"

She turned away, the faintest touch of red entering her cheeks at the mention of her trouble with the horses. "Not yet. But I don't think it will be much longer before she does."

Levi's gaze swept over the stable, kept immensely clean with fresh straw, water, and food, and the coat on the horse smooth and lustrous. At this rate, the mare was going to be more of a show horse than a war horse.

"You're not slacking anywhere else, are you?" Levi asked as his gaze slipped over the pristine stall and back to her. A stall didn't get that clean without a lot of constant work.

"No, sir. This is where I was lacking the most, so it's getting more of my attention. But I'm making sure other parts of my training aren't suffering."

Well, he'd be the judge of that. With the way she held up in training, any degree of slipping would be easy to spot.

Levi resumed what he was doing, walking deeper into the stables to check on his horse, which he planned to take for a brief ride to stretch his legs. "Don't make a promise you can't keep," he added before L/N left his field of vision. The stable was quiet for a few moments, broken only by the sound of Levi getting his horse ready to go.

So quietly he almost didn't hear it, Levi got a reply.

"This one I can keep."

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Earlier in the day, Levi had jumped on the chance to get a more personal glimpse at L/N, taking over the cleanliness checks in the barracks, much to everyone else's dismay. He was well aware that his standards were far above everyone else's, but today they were just going to have to deal with it, and step it up. On the bright side, as he walked down the lines of beds, he was able to see who was terrible at doing a decent cleaning job and who had potential.

He gave criticisms at every bed–dust, missed spots, trying to hide part of the mess under the beds, half-assed jobs, on and on the list went. When he got to L/N...

Now this was starting to get creepy.

His practiced eye swept over her space as she stood at attention just off to the side, taking in the bed spread smoothed of wrinkles, the dusted and wiped down surfaces, everything tucked away, floor swept and clean in her area–even a little into the surrounding spaces. There wasn't anything in the way of personal effects, though–not out in the open, anyway.

It was immaculate. Up to his standards practically to a T. It was an unexpected discovery, amongst the many things he thought he'd see. He thought he might see a personal effect here or there that would give him a bit more on her personality, but there was nothing he could see during a cleanliness inspection.

He'd have to come back later.

Shit, I'm starting to sound like a goddamn stalker.

Carefully, Levi ran a hand on the underside of the bed, the nightstand, anywhere there might be dirt left over, and came away with nothing.

She was the only one he walked by without saying anything, because he had no critiques to give. He wondered if she was always this clean, or she'd heard he was doing the inspections and pulled off a miracle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He went back when there was no one around to do a more thorough search, still believing that she might have something that would tip him off a little more. Frankly, if he continued to find a complete lack of personal effects, that would bolster his suspicions as well, because it signified something to be hidden or something that was trying to be forgotten, or a preparation to run at a moment's notice.

He didn't know what he would find, if anything, but if it was another lead, he would take it.

The barracks were currently empty, and he had made sure they'd be empty for a while, choosing the time there was a morning drill going on for the new recruits to sneak in and do some digging.

First he checked the footlocker at the end of her bed, opening it up and carefully shifting through. Mostly it was made up of uniform clothes, a pair of nice plainclothes, a pair of casual plainclothes, a couple more comfortable workout clothes, a plain black cloak–

His hand paused on the cloak. It looked like it could be the one being worn by the person he'd pursued and lost that one night. Not a confirmation, but it was further evidence she was sneaking out at night, even if he hadn't seen her face.

Finding nothing else suspicious in the footlocker, Levi checked under the bed and found only dress shoes and casual shoes, and then moved onto the nightstand.

Here, he found a book from the library on herbology with a bookmark on custom tea blends, as well as a tin of some of the said tins. There was quite a bit of chamomile and mint from the whiff he was immediately hit with upon checking inside the tin, with a couple other blends–but mostly the chamomile and mint. Inside, he also found a tightly bound bundle of white sage in a cloth covering, blank sheets of paper, more writing utensils than he would have expected, and a leather bound folio. Opening it revealed no official documents missing from her background, no personal letters or intercepted reports.

Inside, it was gorgeous artwork. Sketches of the horses in various poses of rest or activity, of the scenery around Wall Rose, a sketch of one of the few mansions in the district, and–

Levi paused, eyes widening as he stilled, the silence in the room pressing in on him. His mind flashed back to just the other day, when he'd seen Zephyr out in the field away from the other horses, laying down and looking contently about, but not moving. He'd only been able to make out part of L/N through the long grass, leaning against the horse with her knees pulled up, looking lost in something. He'd assumed it was a book from the distance where he was once more leaning against the wall in the shadows of the stables, or that she was writing something.

Amongst the more recent drawings of the horses, there was a portrait of him, leaning against that wall at the stables, arms crossed, head slightly bowed but eyes centered on the observer, or, in this case, the artist. Even the shade was accounted for, making the features a little more difficult to make out, but they were still clear and detailed.

She'd seen him well enough at that distance to make out and sketch his features in this detail? Or had some of it been visualization?

More importantly, it was pretty much confirmation that she knew he was watching her.

Levi closed the folio, putting everything back in its proper place with care, feeling intrusive and out of place now that he'd failed to come up with anything malicious in nature. There were only a couple things that made him uneasy with the implications, never anything that proved to be outright dangerous, as always. And he couldn't exactly say anything about the sketch of himself without her knowing he'd gone through her belongings.

Levi was gone long before the recruits returned to the barracks from their drill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She'd slipped away from the main group after the next combat training session, hanging back and going a different direction than the rest of the group. Levi had a brief moment where he thought she might be slipping away to the same place she went at night, and had followed her on the off chance that was the case.

She ended up going to a quiet corner of the Scout headquarters, at a corner of buildings near the forest that no one bothered with. Once there, she kneeled down, tending to a cluster of plants that was lined up in the familiar form of a small garden. It was fairly new, too, from what Levi could see, which told him she probably planted them herself not too long ago. How long had she been working on this little side project?

Just another one of his suspicions turning out to be harmless activity. He was just about ready to write off his uneasy feeling as paranoia.

He could have just walked off and left her alone, but he lingered, waiting until she finished what she was doing and left before he quietly approached the garden to satiate his own curiosity.

Kneeling down, he realized that the tiny garden was made up of plants, mainly herbs, that could be used in tea making. There were brushes of mint, chamomile, and lemongrass as the most notable plants, and near the corner where they would get full sun and could help hide the little herb garden there were even three freshly planted bushes, hibiscus, raspberry, and rose, with the flowering bushes meant to support the raspberry in the middle. The soil was dark and the leaves had beads of water still on them that shined on his thumb after a careful stroke against a leaf to see it healthy and strong, showing that L/N had been by to water them. They were doing fairly well, from what he could see, even though the plants were too young to harvest anything from.

Was she attempting to grow the materials to make her own tea blends so she wouldn't have to spend much of her salary on tea?

Standing to leave as that pesky feeling of intrusion started to worm its way back into his mind, Levi caught sight of a small collection of white sage, directly out in the sun and recently planted, but noticeably far away from the other plants. It was curious, the way it was planted so that it couldn't be missed and could be easily avoided. At the same time, though, it could just have been an aggressively growing plant that would take over the other plants if it got too close to them. While he knew it could also be used in teas, it wasn't as common...and he'd seen a bundle of the sage spikes tightly bound and covered in her nightstand.

What was so special about it? Why did she have it?

Levi shook his head, turning to leave and mentally filing the questions about the white sage under "personal questions" instead of "suspicions."

His suspicions weren't entirely gone. While he was getting a stronger sense of her character that caused his doubts about her to waver, he still had some glaring questions he couldn't ignore that caused his wariness to endure...for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ODM gear training–another essential part to life in the Scouts. At this point in time, it was a chance for officers to get a feel for the skills of the cadets first hand instead of just what it said on paper about their Cadet Corps training.

The trees here were thick, allowing perfect cover for their Titan dummies spread sporadically throughout the woods. At the highest points in the trees, the officers stood on platforms to observe quietly, moving from platform to platform as needed while the recruits moved through the trees, watching the cadets zip around the forest looking for Titans.

Levi's eyes, however, were drawn to the fact that Erwin was out here. He knew for a fact that Erwin had better things to be doing than watching rookies try to hunt down dummies, but for some reason he was always near the same spot Levi was, his gaze fixed complacently in the same area, flickering in disinterest past most of the cadets. If any of the rookies knew he was here, the word would spread like wildfire, and they might shift their attention to trying their damndest to impress the Commander instead of doing the drill properly.

But there was a gleam in Erwin's eyes. He was here for a reason. Levi just didn't know what it was, which unsettled him, but didn't distract him from watching the recruits.

Erwin's gaze caught Levi's, and the faintest, unsettling smile appeared on his lips, gone in the next second as his attention was drawn towards an oncoming recruit who was high in the trees, apparently trying the high-ground tactic to spot a Titan before the others. A terrible approach, really, since it allowed more tree cover for the Titans by adding more branches and foliage below the individual.

Levi started to turn away in disinterest, hearing the sound of another fast-approaching recruit coming towards them. While the recruit was still in his peripherals, they disengaged the cables, ready to fire them into another tree to make a sharp turn.

Except the cables didn't deploy.

The recruit let out a shriek and plummeted towards the ground from a dangerous height, gear malfunctioning and not sending out the cables to catch them on their way down. Levi whipped around, hands flying out to his holstered ODM controls–

–Erwin didn't look surprised by what was happening–

Someone darted in low and fast. It was one of the recruits, the one that had already been moving in their direction, and as such, was in the best position to react first.

Of all the people it could have been, it was L/N.

She wasn't using any gas, her falling momentum casing her to come in low and fast to the ground, cables deploying at the last moment to even out her fall and propel her forward, her back running parallel with the ground as she shot towards the falling cadet. When she was close enough, she angled herself back up to intercept the recruit, gas propelling her up into the air instead of her momentum. There was an audible thud and grunt as they collided, L/N's arm wrapped around the fallen recruit's midriff as she twisted to fire another cable to bring herself up to safety.

The only problem was that there were two dummies in the direction she was flying, and the training didn't stop because of a hiccup.

One of the dummies swung down and towards her, on a clear collision course if she didn't see it and couldn't react fast enough. At least now it would hurt like a bitch but it wouldn't be fatal.

L/N let loose a sudden burst of gas to speed up and rolled so she was facing the ground, back upwards and exposed to the falling dummy. For a second, he thought she was going to take the brunt of the blow–which would mean death if this had been real. She pulled herself upright at the last second, sailing right underneath where the dummy Titan's mouth would be, her body twisted out of reach of the dummy, and she kicked off the side of its neck to give herself another boost, cables firing upwards high into the trees and causing her to sore upwards, another brief burst of gas allowing her the momentum to keep her going upwards with the added weight still tucked against her side with one arm.

The second dummy swung out from behind the trees, fast enough to knock someone clean out of the air. Instead of going under like she did the first time, she twisted again, keeping the recruit in her arms safe from impact. She arched over him in an upside U, cables firing up and out to bring them safely onto a tree branch. She set the other recruit down, a hand on their shoulder as she said something to them, checking their gear with them before waving for one of the other officers to come over and get the recruit. Once the recruit who fell was guaranteed to be alright, she kicked off, doubling back to slice through the Titan dummy napes before disappearing back into the forest.

Levi looked back over at Erwin, able to immediately recognize that gleam in his eyes as Erwin looked out in the direction L/N had taken off towards. It was the same look Levi saw in the Underground, back when they met. Ulterior intentions or not, Erwin was going to do his damndest to make sure she was on their side in the end, and speaking from experience, Levi knew it was possible.

Releasing his grip on his ODM controls, Levi's gaze flickered back over to the recruit that had fallen, that look he'd seen on Erwin's face moments before it happened flashing through his mind.

I know you can't guarantee finding the answers to all of your questions in such a short amount of time, but you could at least find out if she will have the back of her fellow scouts on the first expedition.

That had been planned, hadn't it? He wanted to test if she had her comrades backs in a moment of danger, and she had responded immediately and without hesitation. Levi had to trust that there had been some kind of backup plan to make sure that recruit didn't end up dead–Erwin wouldn't have done something like that without having someone waiting in the wings in case L/N acted selfishly.

He was sure everyone was impressed after what she'd just pulled off even with someone under her arm, but part of him...wasn't really surprised. Then again, Levi was the only one who'd had a first hand taste of how strong she really was. This was a reassurance that her other training had not slipped while she put so much effort into the horses, and was further confirmation at the asset she could be to them as a member of the Scouts.

Let's hope she could keep that even head when it was Titan jaws snapping at her and not just wooden figures swinging her way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He felt absolutely drained.

It was the night before the next expedition, and Levi found himself sitting alone in the mess hall, a cup of steaming tea resting on the table in front of him with his fingertips lingering lightly on the rim of the cup. Ever since that first night he'd caught L/N sneaking out, he'd been staying up as much as possible to try and catch her sneaking out again. He was already used to not sleeping much, but even he had his limits. His eyelids were heavy, and his focus kept slipping, even as he tried to get down a cup of tea to help him sleep more soundly tonight so he would be at his best tomorrow.

He would finally get to see L/N in the field. Erwin was still planning on keeping her in the formation where Levi would have her in his sights at all time so he could see how she did when it wasn't training anymore. Not to mention, he was looking forward to it.

His suspicions had started to die down in the back of his mind, giving way to glowing embers of a curiosity he figured would be satiated with time. Perhaps that uneasiness in his gut had nothing to do with her trustworthiness, and he had simply been caught off guard by her abilities. Perhaps the thought of a rookie already able to go toe to toe with him had unnerved him, and that was where the feeling originated.

The more he pried into her as a person, the less of a reason he found to be doubtful of her intentions. The recruits who'd been in class with her had described her as cold and unsociable, someone up to trouble that was never discovered and far more skilled than she let on. However, when he observed her and came within proximity to her, she was warm, and careful, and considerate, although he still did not miss the hesitation, the way she was ready to pull away at a moment's notice and increase the distance once more, the way she seemed to always be holding something back...

But that didn't mean she was a bad person. If anything, he was worried about her because she seemed far more empathetic under the surface than she let on. He'd seen the garden she tended to quietly, seen her artistic hobby, seen how she interacted with her horse Zephyr now that she was able to ride the mare. Even if she didn't have any close friends in the Scouts, she was close with that horse, spending most of her free time with Zephyr, brushing her, laying with her in the field while she drew or read, simply walking with her.

She seemed...gentle, at heart. Before he knew it, he was softening towards her. How could he see all of that, and not start to let go of his suspicions? It's why watching her had suddenly felt intrusive, why this final night he had stopped staring out the window watching for a hooded figure and come into the mess hall to seek tea to help him sleep instead of forcing himself to stay up all night again to keep an eye out for her slipping out into the night.

The silence was comforting, his limbs feeling heavy, head tilting downwards, fingers going limp around the empty cup as he slowly...nodded off...

He was so exhausted...

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*Reader's POV*

Your steps down the darkened halls of the Scout Headquarters were silent, your hood still drawn as you made your way deeper into the stone building. While your face was still hidden in shadow, your hand did a careful rub around your mouth to be sure that you didn't have any trace of your meal lingering on your face.

You hadn't needed to sneak out for another bite, but considering you were going on an expedition tomorrow, you'd decided to play it safe and sneak out again to make sure you were fully satiated. You needed to be at peak performance, and you needed to make sure your bloodlust was fully satiated in case you found yourself in the middle of a bloodbath.

The last thing you needed was to lose control in front of everyone and feed off of a fellow Scout. All the pleading and rationalizing in the world wasn't going to save you from a vengeful blade or banishment in that kind of situation.

Once you were sure there wasn't any blood on your face, you lowered your hood, quietly making your way into the barracks and retrieving one of your bought chamomile tea bags before slipping away to the mess hall. The only sounds in the castle was the faint talking of guards at the entrance, the huffs or snickers of the horses in the stables, and the soft breaths and heartbeats of the sleeping scouts that filled Headquarters.

The closer you got to the mess hall, however, the more you could make out a singular heartbeat and soft breathing, the familiar sound of someone fast asleep.

In the mess hall?

Once you were close enough, you managed to catch the faintest scent that immediately told you who was asleep in the mess hall. That scent had been following you since your sparring match. It had wafted on the wind from the distance as he watched you from beside the stables or across training grounds, had lingered on your personal effects after you came back from a morning drill, had briefly lingered amongst the perfume of herbs and flowery plants in your little garden, and had cut through your senses the last time you'd snuck out for a bite, informing you that you were being followed long before you heard his breaths and heartbeat.

You'd known Captain Levi was watching you closely, and as such, you'd learned to attune yourself to his scent so you would know when he was nearby. He was always clean, with traces of tea and mint lingering despite the strong scent of soap, either from cleaning his surroundings or himself. But there was also the scent of his blood, sometimes unique for people with potent bloodlines, whose blood would be exceptional if you dared to partake.

Of course, Captain Levi, Commander Erwin, any of the Scouts were a hard off limits, so that was never something you were going to give into, never a taste that you would know. But that didn't mean you would fail to pick up on the rich aroma his blood gave off.

God forbid his blood was ever spilled in front of you. That would be a challenge to resist.

Able to tell that he was asleep, you entered the mess hall quietly but without reservations, determined to make your cup of tea even if there was someone else in the room.

He seemed to have fallen asleep at the table, head slumped over into his chest, one arm still lying limply next to a cup of tea that, due to the scent that still had traces in the air, had been meant to help him sleep. His hair fell carefree into his face, lips parted slightly for his quiet breaths to slip between.

Good. He'd been looking exhausted recently, and you knew it was because he was keeping such a close eye on you. It was almost like you couldn't go anywhere without Levi one step behind you. The rumors said it was because he was thinking of having you join his squad, but you doubted that was really the reason. Your suspicion was that he'd grown suspicious of you after your spar, and he was trying to figure out what you were hiding. If he'd simply been looking to have you on his squad, he wouldn't have gone poking around your personal effects or been following you whenever you were by yourself.

You didn't hate him for it–he was just doing his job, and he had every right to be suspicious. Hell, if his instincts had told him there was something wrong with you, that there was something dangerous about you, they weren't wrong. He was right to follow them and poke around. It was just for your own sake that you hoped you could dodge him until his suspicions disappeared and he could accept you weren't here out of malice.

You really were here to help. Your intentions were genuine, even if you had some personal monsters you were trying to keep in the dark. You just weren't so sure you could convince them that you weren't a threat if they were to ever find out what you were. You didn't even want to think of what Captain Levi's reaction would be if he ever found out, especially if he found out while armed and in the same room as you.

There were already those who knew about your species, and considered you to be a far more lethal threat to humanity than Titans, one that needed to be expunged indiscriminately. The fear was always there that if someone discovered you, they would see things that way, that they wouldn't hesitate to put down a clear threat to humanity.

Shaking the dark thoughts from your mind, you focused on the here and now instead of what ifs that might never come to pass. Instead, you carefully removed your cloak from around your shoulders and approached Levi quietly and carefully, draping the dark cloth around his body to keep him covered up.

You'd just been outside, so of course you were aware that it wasn't the warmest night.

You paused just short of lifting your hands, hearing a shift in his heartbeat and breathing that suggested he might wake up. It figured he would be a light sleeper. Maybe you should have just left him alone instead of risking waking him up.

Well, either way, it would be more awkward if he woke to you just standing there next to him–if he did wake up. There was still the chance he would slip back into sleep.

Attempting to stay silent so you wouldn't disturb him anymore than you already had, you slipped away into the kitchen, going about making your cup of tea as quietly as you could, movements exaggerated with how slow you were going in an attempt not to let the kettle and other dishes rattle. While you made your tea, you could hear the slightest shift of fabric, hear a pause, his heart rate and breathing back to normal waking pace.

Well, shit. It looked like you'd managed to wake him up with your act of kindness now gone wrong. You should have left him alone instead of disturbing his sleep. And now you were going to have to be social when you left the kitchen.

Well...maybe that was a good thing. With all this watching from a distance, maybe it would help to put his mind at ease if he was to simply talk to you, just a little.

Though you could also very likely end up headed towards a conversation you weren't ready to have, one you couldn't answer even though they were so simple, like 'where did you come from' and anything related to family.

You let out a soft sigh as you poured your tea into your cup, resigning yourself to the incoming late night conversation with Captain Levi.

As you walked back into the eating area of the mess hall where Levi had fallen asleep, you could see him sitting up properly again, your cape folded up neatly and sitting on the tabletop with his hand resting thoughtfully in its center, a small frown on his lips.

He looked up when you entered the room, and something flashed in his eyes, gone as soon as it appeared. It made you uneasy.

Was there blood on your cape? No, you were certain there wasn't any blood–you knew what you were doing, and you knew how to eat without spilling any blood or making a mess. There wasn't any blood on your cape. So what was that look for? Was it just from his suspicions? Had he figured you had just come back from sneaking out again?

"What are you doing up?" Levi asked bluntly as you approached, teacup in hand

As much as you wanted to turn the question around on him, the one who had fallen asleep in the mess hall, you knew better. You were trying to stay on his good side, not antagonize him, which was already difficult when the odds were already so stacked against you.

You took a seat, raising the cup slightly as both your hands curled around the hot cup to cradle it in your grasp. "I was feeling restless, so I came down here to get something to calm my nerves," you told him honestly, taking a slow sip of tea once you'd finished speaking.

"And you felt the need for a cloak on the way from the barracks to the kitchen?" Levi asked skeptically, eyebrow cocked challengingly.

You shrugged, outwardly unfazed by his question. "I tried walking it off first. Didn't work out like I'd hoped."

"Are you nervous?"

Your eyes flickered his way, meeting his steady gaze and briefly wondering if he was actually referring to tomorrow, or if that was meant to double as referring to him always watching her, asking if she had a reason to be nervous about it.

"I suppose I should be. Afraid, even. But whenever I start to get worried I tell myself whatever happens, happens. I'll do what I can, when I can. If I come back, wonderful, if I don't...I won't be going out quietly," you said, grip tightening slightly around the cup as you stared down at the water colored by the chamomile blend. "Maybe subconsciously I am nervous, and that's why I'm restless tonight."

Levi was fixing you with a hard look at your rather passive answer, eyes probing, reading every muscle twitch looking for a lie or a deeper meaning. "Aren't you itching to kill Titans? Or at least shitting yourself at the chance to go outside the walls?"

"Except I didn't come to kill Titans, specifically. Going outside the walls, seeing what's out there, that's a bonus. I came to help. Whether that means killing Titans, guarding carts, playing messenger or lookout, or mucking out stalls. As long as I feel like I'm doing something to help."

Levi leaned back in his seat. He didn't look particularly impressed with your attitude. "Why did you join the Scouts?" he asked bluntly. "Why not the MPs or the Garrison?"

Images flashed through your mind. Drunken garrison members stationed in Wall Rose who only sat around gambling, drinking, and ignoring their duties. Your eyes lifted to the raven-haired man in front of you, and you had the faintest memory pass through your mind of a black haired youth pressed into the ground by Military Police, about to beat the kid to a pulp to teach the Underground gutter rat not to steal, even though it was the only way the kid was going to get something to eat. Corruption, complacency, and current uselessness in the fight against the Titans, that's all you thought when you heard Military Police or Garrison Regiment. You knew it was a harsh viewpoint, and a blanket one that didn't truly apply to everyone in either branch, but that impression had been made so strongly on you that you couldn't resolve it, not at this point.

Also, this was a good chance to plant the seed that she really did want to help, that she really was an ally and not an enemy. Just in case she was found out.

"I wanted to go somewhere I could actually do something, where I could put my skills to good use and do something worthwhile. I know that's not the general public feeling about what the Scouts do, but I knew if I went to the Garrison or the MPs, I'd be wasted there. Complacency isn't for me. I knew the Scouts was the best place for me to go if I wanted to do something that could actually help."

You quieted again, taking another sip from the cup. Once more, it was true. If you wanted to use your vampiric abilities to make a difference, the Scouts was the best place for you. You were tired of existing in shadows, of letting days slip by without making any kind of impact on the world around you. No more complacency. You wanted to take action and do something with your abilities other than hunt and eat people. What better way than to go out and fight the Titans? They were still a threat to you, you couldn't regenerate like a Titan, and decapitation from teeth would kill you just as surely as a stake through the heart. But you had a better chance against the Titans than the average human, and you wanted to use your better chances to give humanity a better opportunity to fight back. That would make your existence feel...worthwhile. Instead of parasitic.

Down at the other end of the table, Levi sighed, pushing himself up onto his feet, likely to head back to his room before he fell asleep in the mess hall again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Levi's POV*

Levi wasn't too enthused by most of her reasoning for joining the Scouts. He had seen far too many pointless deaths to optimistically say that she wouldn't die pointlessly in the Scouts. Hell, she had a higher chance of dying needlessly in the Scouts than anywhere else, especially if she had the wrong attitude going out there. A hero complex could get her killed just as easily as complacency. She should be focused on survival, and how casually she spoke about what could happen tomorrow made him uncomfortable. He'd be more at ease if she was displaying a determination to come back, some kind of fire, a spark. Instead, it felt like she thought there was something she needed to prove, and he worried it was the wrong priority.

Hopefully, her attitude would change once she saw the hell of the Titans up close. If not, he wasn't going to have much hope for her going forward.

Getting to his feet, Levi grabbed his teacup to clean up in his chambers, leaving the cloak folded on the table for her to retrieve when she was finished down here.

"Make sure you come back to tend to those plants. They'll die if there's not someone around to take care of them," he said in a monotone voice before turning to leave. He made it almost to the door before she spoke up again.

"Captain Levi?"

He paused, but he didn't turn or say anything, waiting to hear what she wanted to say.

"Just because I'm not open with everyone, doesn't mean I'm a threat. There's just some parts of myself I would like to keep to myself," she said softly. His head twitched to the side at the unexpected comment, catching the sight of her forlorn expression as she gazed down at the cup just in front of her lips.

He didn't say anything, instead continuing down the hall and disappearing from her immediate sight. Once he was within the safety of his chambers, a hard glint flashed in his eyes.

The scent of blood and shit unique to one place within the walls lingered on her cloak.