I was living dead. 

I did all my chores promptly, making sure that I excelled in all of them. It was the only way to strive away from the things to which my mind constantly wandered to. I had reduced my talks to only a few nods and single syllable words. Though I was sure they saw something different in me, no one pointed out to me.

Seconds were turning into hours and hours into days. Days turned into weeks. Yet I hadn't found my solace. I had attended tests and midterm exams, acing each one of them. Even that part surprised me. But then again, I had studied most of the time to keep my mind occupied.

Ever since Clark had proposed Monica, she was in cloud nine, always in a dreamy mode. I had laughed and teased her. I guessed Mira had secretly told Clark to marry her faster than he had intended to for the fear that she might change her mind again and Clark was more than happy to oblige her request.

Thankfully the wedding date was set after my ultimatum date and I swear I had released the breath I was holding. With only three more months in their hand, Mira had become hyperactive. She wanted to make sure that everything was going fine.

As per Mira's instructions, they had already started off with the shopping, giving reasons like not to stress the bride at the last minute. Mira aimed at perfection and Monica was happy to nod her head at her. That left me alone in the café.

It had become a one woman show. I had to do the cleaning, baking, brewing, waiting tables and maintain the records. As Monica and Mira left everything on my shoulders, I took them happily. I went to café early and left there early. It personally helped me to stay away from the racer boys, both Robert and Dad.

Mira often asked me about Robert with whom she wanted to meet and apologize for ruining the night. That often left me tongue tied and I didn't know for how long I needed to lie to her on her face telling that he had come when she wasn't around the shop.

At home, I didn't utter a word about our small meeting with Ashley that day to Dad. He seemed pretty happy with the flowers to spoil his day. He never once brought the subject on his own. Considering how we didn't talk about Mom from the beginning, it gave him a plus point to not tackle the subject.

Sometimes, as I sat on the dining table wondering about the what ifs, I had almost him asked if he had murdered my mother. But the fear of losing him was more torturous than knowing the truth. I had slid the matter away from me for as long as I could.

I had pulled Ashley's name once in a while, but it seemed as if he was certain that I would deal with it and he didn't have to worry. He often pretended to forget Ashley's name when I got it in front of him. That fact alone infuriated me. When he forgot Ashley's name on the third day too, I had given up.

I clamped my mouth shut after that, limiting to only ask him if he had his medicines and food. Our conversations had died after that. I felt betrayed and trapped with no way out. 

Dad was acting strange after each passing day and I wondered if it had anything to do with my meeting with Ashley. I often took him to the hospital and I only hoped that he was talking with the therapist if he couldn't talk to me.

And Robert? Well, he wanted to talk with me and ask me how I was doing. With everything that was happening, I didn't have the energy to make him understand that he had to believe in himself before he could come talk to me. 

Our talks were limited only during the races in which he still was my earpiece. He asked me to do some stunts in the fields and I did. That was all it was there to it.

But I missed him and I had tons to talk with him. I wanted us to go back to normal and laugh like old times. But each time I tried to get back, his words resonated in me and I stumbled back, not wanting to hurt myself again in his harsh blows. I didn't want to be his punching bag.

My friends had noticed this distancing and had asked me about it. I had diverted the topic to get myself saved. Perhaps, I had to accept certain facts to move on further too.

Brian had not come to hunt me down yet and I was sure he was just around the corner waiting to pounce on me the very chance he got. Though I saw him in the classes, he had become silent for now and didn't come to disrupt my peace at the moment. All I hoped was to let me have this privilege for a long time.

It was one Wednesday afternoon when all four of us had decided to see a movie in the theaters. It had been an early end of the day and I had reluctantly agreed to go along with them. 

I had to be at the café by five, but James had dragged it to six to squish a movie in between. I had consoled myself that I had to have some fun once in a while to make sure that those responsibilities wouldn't put me on the ground so that I wouldn't get up.

"Nick, Lorenz won't like it if you are always hovering around him." James was saying as we walked together with our bags on our shoulders.

It was three in the noon and the show was at three thirty. We hadn't bought the tickets yet since we didn't know if our plan was still in working mode.

"Oh, please." Nick put his hand in front of him. "He likes me alright. He's just a little shy to admit that."

"Just like Matt in your drama class." Lily rolled her eyes as she looped her hands in mine. "Don't you think our friend is going rogue, Scar?"

I laughed. "That's one way to put it."

"You mean there are other ways?" Nick asked, feigning agony as he nudged my arm before he overtook and went ahead of me. "I always thought you were the only one to understand me, but... "

"Save you drama in your drama class." James said patting his back. "God, if I didn't know you better, I would have called you a drama queen."

I smiled at James. He always made sure that I was rescued. Who needed Prince Charming when James was around? He not only took care of his girl but also the herd he had taken in as his own.

"Drama queen?" Nick turned to James. "You are the one with that title. Wasn't he the one to abscond from all of our meetings giving the name of practice? Lily, back me up."

"No," Lily pouted as James put an arm around her shoulders and raised an eyebrow at Nick challenging him. "He usually has practice. How is he supposed to win the game, if he didn't?"

Nick rolled his eyes at us, feigning anger since all of us teamed against him. He walked ahead of us all, sauntering his way to James' car. We had car pooled today, all of us depending on James and Lily for the ride. As James and Nick had the same class together, they had agreed to get a ride themselves not wanting to come with us girls.

Lily was happy with the arrangement though, she often said that James distracted her while driving. That was enough for me to stop her from giving me any more details.

Nick stopped in his way though. "Oh, my God!" He exclaimed and stood there like he had a heart attack. "Please have mercy on me. Take it easy on my heart." He started singing with a falsetto that I had to close my ears to spare it from further hurt. "Guys, look who has finally found their way back here."

He pointed his hand towards the far end of the parking lot where I saw Robert waiting for us to reach our cars. He had got his Maria on him and I wondered what was wrong. Rob never brought her to the school premises scared that he might ruin his reputation. 

But bringing her here only meant that he had fallen back on his car designs or he had sold almost everyone of his cars by now. Looking at him, in his all Tom Cruise glory I had to believe the latter one.

"Do you think he came back for me?" Nick asked as I tried to figure out why he had come here out of all days. "You think he likes me back?"

"Weren't you pinning for Lorenz a few seconds ago?" James asked, pulling his girlfriend to him, leaving me alone with only my thoughts for company.

"Or Matt... I forget their names." Lily shrugged.

"Ever since I came out of my shell, you guys are just pulling my leg every chance you get." Nick said. "Tell me, Scar. He's here for me, right?"

"I hope so too." I said honestly.

Not on speaking terms with Robert, I now stammered on my own words and had lost all the ability to think straight with him by my side now. Even though he was the only person to bring me back to sanity when I raced, I still found it difficult to reach out to him as before.

I was scared now. He had clearly told me where I belonged, especially not with him and that burn hadn't healed even after he had apologized. When he had left, he had left behind a series of doubts. I didn't know how much more time I needed to get back to normal with him... or if I was ever getting normal.

Nick jumped ahead, clearly excited about the man that stood in front of us. If I said I hadn't missed Robert, then I would be lying, but when I looked at him with his goggles on, I wished that I hadn't seen him. He looked too good to be missing me. It seemed like it was his wish to go separate ways with me had finally come true.

"Hi Robert!" Nick was way too excited to meet him. "Oh my! Have you been working out? God, can I?"

Nick had gone crazy considering how he hadn't seen him after that party. With him acting this way, I was being embarrassed by my own friends. We all followed him in a zombie like trance and a part of me hated myself for letting the pull of Robert affect me.

Robert took his coolers off and looked at me. When he saw the discomfort I was in, he only smirked back. "Sure." He came forward and kept his hand in between me and Nick. "Go ahead." His eyes were on me, watching me intently as Nick went ahead to squeeze his biceps.

"Nick! Dude!" James cried before he could lay a hand on Robert. I released a breath that I was holding. Robert looked at me and smirked. "What are you doing, man?"

"What?" Nick said, shrugging his shoulders, sad that he had lost the opportunity to do something with Robert.

"How are you, Rob?" Lily came to my rescue and did her best to veer his eyes away from me. "It's been a long time. No great cars today?"

"No." He said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. His goggles dangled from his right hand as he clutched it at one corner. "This is all me." He looked at me and I knew the inner meaning his words held.

He had come to me each and every day at the practice, asking for me to stop doing whatever I was doing. Taken aback by his request, I had screamed at him to be him first before he could ask that of me. From the next day on, I had asked Luke to come workout with me. With our fight, he had readily agreed. After that, I had not let Robert have a single window to talk with me.

"That's great." Lily smiled.

"Sorry about this guy." James apologized for Nick. "He didn't have his share of medicines today."

At that, our small crowd laughed and I looked away. I didn't know why he had come and I wondered if it had to do with any of the races I had to deal with in next week. 

That alone would mean I had to spend more time with Robert to sit down with him to watch videos of their previous races. Though I would have loved it in other circumstances, our privacy now got me all jittery.

"That's okay." Robert smiled, a genuine one, the one which I had liked the most about him. "I came to pick Scarlet up. We had some issues to deal with."

All the eyes turned towards me. I didn't know if those issues were actually regarding the race or just another false word to get me to talk to me.

"Um, we were actually planning for a movie." Lily said hesitantly, not wanting to let me go this early. "Will it be okay if she comes after five?"

"I have work at five." I said looking away.

"She'll figure it out." Lily said, jerking my hand harshly, silently asking me to agree with her so that I won't bunk her movies for him. Personally, I didn't want to miss movies now that I learnt what I had in store for me if I didn't go. "Like she always does."

"Like she always does." Robert muttered. 

I looked at him to see if there was any underlying meaning behind those four words that he had repeated. He scratched his trimmed beard with the end of his goggles. His hair had grown longer and it reached his eyes covering them each time he tucked it away. It was as if I was transported back in time when I had first seen him. That arrogant, self-loving and talkative jerk was still there and I had missed him. 

"Say, which movie are you going to? Can I tag along?"

"Sure!" Nick said, holding his hands together, even before anyone else had thought about it. "It would be so awesome if you would come. It's a romantic movie. Hope you like romance."

"Oh, that's my favorite genre." The glint in his eyes as was hard not to miss.

---

Robert always had a way with things like he was some wizard. He could rotate his magic wand and all my friends would fall at his feet ready at his commands.

Now, as Rob stood next to me, waiting for James and Lily to get our tickets, he turned towards me. "Are you still mad?"

Nick had gone to the washroom and that had left me alone with Robert. I heaved a sigh, crossing my hands on my chests and turned away. I wasn't mad, but only sad to know what exactly he had meant that day. To know that I was just another girl he had met had stricken me harder than I had expected it to, especially when we had gone through so much together.

I knew it was not a fairy tale where I was changing the bad boy ways of his into the good one. Unlike the novels I had read, the good girl, instead of changing him had followed his way into the dark world to fight next to him. But he had abandoned her once she had called him out. Where did that leave her now?

Here, I saw that I needed him more than he needed me. And I wanted to change that. I had avoided him, and bypassed him to get to places. But I couldn't come to the idea of rejecting him as my earpiece. The fear of losing was too much to let go. The only question that remained unanswered was whether the fear was of losing him or losing the game.

I heard Robert sigh next to me. "Scarlet, I know I messed up. But why are you pushing me away?"

"I'm not pushing you away." I said, a litter faster than I had intended to. "You are standing next to me, isn't it?"

"Babe, I hurt you." He said, pulling me by the arm to face him. "You are still hurt. I can see it in your eyes."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Leave me or you are going to regret it." He let go of me and the pristine wall that he had maintained before left him. I could see my anguish and pain mirroring in his eyes. I wanted to reach out and push it all away, but I held my ground. "Robert, please let me be."

"Even after knowing what you are going through?" He asked and I looked at him. "No."

"Yes!" Lily shouted, carrying the tickets in her hands. "All five! Got them." She looked at us, standing next to each other, with our brows scrunched together, she stopped in her tracks. "All okay?"

Our immune walls were back up and we smiled at her, giving our best grins. "Everything is good."

She looked at us, her confusion still present, but she nodded her head and I knew I had to answer her question in the privacy of her house tonight. James and Nick reached us and we all entered the movie house.

We had got our seats in the middle and being the captain of our ship, James took the first seat next to a man while Lily got in next. Robert went next and I waited for Nick to get in, but he was still at the entrance talking on the phone. I waved at him, but he only pointed his phone. I heaved a sigh and got in next to Rob leaving the corner seat to Nick.

As Lily and James talked, Robert and I sat silent, not bothering to fill the void with our voices. The way he kept glancing at me, I knew there was something he wanted to talk to me.

Nick came by after the lights were turned out and tired to get my sour moods out by joking at every corner. But it didn't help. He gave up after some time. As the movie continued, I felt Rob's hand crawl up to mine. Suddenly, I my breath hitched.

The warmth that he held was too much. There were so many times when he had grabbed my hand, but this time it was different. It was as if he was promising me a tomorrow. My initial shock hadn't worn out as Rob took my hand in his and reached it up to his lips to kiss it.

"Sorry." He whispered against it.

I didn't know how many times in the last month he had apologized to me, but this one was somehow different. It made me want to trust him again. In the spell, I turned towards him. His eyes were already on me and I wanted to say it was alright, but at that exact moment, the lights turned on for intermission. I snatched my hand away from him to save myself from further embarrassment.

Though I was not the one to get embarrassed soon enough, this time in the air conditioned room, I was burning. I asked Nick to change seats with me and he was more than happy to oblige. The rest of the film too went by, leaving me in my own haze. Whenever I turned towards Rob, I found him staring at me rather than the movie.

When the movie had finally come to an end, Robert got up and excused himself before I could read him out. I no longer knew what I was doing with him. I wanted to talk to him, but when he did come closer, I often pushed him away. Now that he was gone, I wished to see him again.

"Why are you torturing that guy?" Lily asked when no one was around.

It was a question I needed answers too.

---

A/N: What would you have done if you were in Scarlet's place?