"Do you know what I thought of you?"

A bubble of laughter and a strained cough; he couldn't help it- his heart thumping in expectation, his clammy hands clenched at the wrinkle of his stained band tee.

"...hm? What?"

"I..."

He started to get nervous- just a little, that maybe this would be it. Sitting right here, the moon in his eyes, and a fiery spirit that fueled the sun he had for a heart; he waited for James to continue.

"I thought... I thought that you were a witch."

James laughed while he said it, delicate dimples swirling like whirlpools, draining him back to earth.

It wasn't what he expected- no. Not at all. There definitely weren't any butterflies, butterflies he'd thought he'd be feeling right about now, because James was supposed to say he liked him.

But not this, nothing like this.

"Y'know? Cuz like bitch rhymes with witch, and...like... that was what I could call you without being too mean-"

Pain.

"-y'know?"

James let out a content sigh, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, bricks finally tumbling down.

"All that flirting from before was just...y'know... I mean you were hot so..."

Slowly Asa started to feel the cold of the autumn night, realizing he hadn't brought a jacket with him-almost weird how he felt so warm just a minute ago.

James sat next to him, varsity jacket hugging those broad shoulders of his, as he hunched into himself, as if hiding from the world. He seemed to be somewhat guilty, but that was quickly masked away as he took on a look of pity, content in a way.

James' light brown eyes met blue ones, blues that never looked more like the ocean than now

"Asa, y'know we can't be together right? I mean you're the crazy kid... Can you imagine what the guys will say?"

His resolve was breaking, whatever was left at least. Asa briefly looked to the sky, staring blankly at the what was sky filled with stars but now black and blank.

He was doing well, holding everything in, more than he would've if he was alone. It took everything in him not to make a fool of himself and cry hysterically on the floor, begging the jock to love him back.

The realization set in, all those days of mindless flirting and drunken touches weren't enough, he simply wasn't enough.

So he simply did what he knew best; deny, deny, deny.

"James... I don't know who put that sick thought into your head that I'd ever want to be with an idiot basketball player who can't live without validation from his little friends..."

"I just wanted a fuck James, god, why can't idiots like you take a fuckin' hint!"

Abruptly, he stood up, his bangs sweeping off to the side of his face due to the force. He almost tripped too, on air, but at least he didn't fall flat on his face.

Asa walked on, back tense as he desperately tried to keep his composure. It felt like the stars were falling, almost as if they would bleed liquid fireworks on him, like rain, and put him out of his misery.

The clenching of his heart never ceased and finally as he made his way back into the party, a stream of waterfalls burst through his eyes.

If only he could disappear, he wished, if only he never liked James Arnold.