Why is 'falling in' love so easy, and yet so hard 'falling out' of it? Why can't love be undone?

I'm here again, seating in my old seat looking at the back of his head, studying his messy hair and looking at the little mole in his neck. I've memorized his back a long time ago, but I never get tired of it. I wish I did, but why can't I?

I sighed and gave myself a disapproving nod. I didn't want to look at him anymore, but what can I do? Whenever I look at the teacher, or at the board, I can't help but steal a glimpse of him. Why does he have to seat in front of me?

And there they are, whispering at each other's ear and then, Dianne giggles. I frowned and rolled my eyes at that sight. Like duh? I don't care. Why don't they just go and get married? For all I care.

Do I sound so bitter? No, this is just a step so I could stop this feelings.

After battling hard with my mind, I still can't bring myself to face Kevin like I usually do so I kept myself busy talking to other people so he won't take a chance to talk to me.I rather not talk about what happened.

It was break time when everybody went to the canteen. I decided to have a chat with my friends Lorie and Lyn in my efforts of avoiding Kevin. After sometime, I excused myself to them so I'll go to the comfort room for a bit. I was on my way, walking in the hallway when I saw Kevin walking towards me. It was again unexpected! I battled with myself on what proper action must I do to get away from this situation. But I can't think!

What should I do? What should I do? Should I run away? But if I will, it'll be very obvious that I'm ignoring him.

I reached for my phone in my pocket but darn! I forgot it in my bag! I just pretended I was looking at my wristwatch. My plan is to walk pass him like I didn't see him but...

"...Rainielle," he called out. I looked up to him, but I was too shy to meet up his gaze.

"A-ahm,..." stuttering, I looked around finding something to divert my attention.

"Well, I... I want to talk about-"

"-John!" I shouted, cutting him of. John was behind him walking toward us while holding a chocolate biscuit and a coke in can. "I'm so sorry. I have something important to talk about with John. See you around," I said as I ran towards John, dismissing him. I didn't wait forhis answer. I just held John's arm and pulled him to the side.

John threw me a questioning look. He looked bewildered. "W-why?" he finally asked.

"Ahm, just play along," I whispered. "Oh, John did you finish reading the book?" I asked him randomly. He grew more confused.

"What? What book?" he again asked.

"I said just play along," I mouthed as I looked at Kevin in the corner of my eyes. He was still standing there were I left him,just looking at us.

"Ah! The book! I'm halfway over it," John played along. It seems he understood what I was playing.

"So how did you find it?" I did my best to sound so enthusiastic about it.

"Well, it's amazing! Especially when the guy killed the girl!" he answered.

Now, I'm the one who got confused. What story is he talking about? "And then the guy found the treasure!" I just added laughing at how silly and random the whole situation is. I again looked at Kevin and he was already gone. Probably he went inside the room.

I sighed in relief. "Let's stop this," I told John. "Thanks," I mumbled weakly.

"Hey! Come on. Let's talk more about the imaginary book! It's getting interesting!" he exclaimed.

"Nah! Just forget it," I uninterestedly said as I walk away from him going towards the CR thinking how am I going to survive the next encounters with Kevin.

THE DAY went on and I don't know why but I haven't heard anything about Kevin's surprise for Dianne. Perhaps, did he cancel it?

In the bottom of my heart, I hoped he did. Ahhhh!!! NO! Erase! Erase! I don't care right? That's it, I must always remember I don't care.

Later that day, I, together with my friends, walked out the classroom heading home when we heard loud yells from the west side of our school.

"What is that?" Lynn asked.

Lorie and I both shrugged. "Let's find out," she added. We then walked our way through the building and I noticed a lot of people peeping in the room I decorated with Kevin yesterday.

'Could it be...?'

I knew what was happening but on the second thought, I wanted to see for myself if Kevin really continued with his plan. We made our way to the crowd, and for some reason, I was able to cross through and I found myself in the door. I looked at them as they look at each other's eyes. Wow. Just wow! They looked perfect in the midst of the balloons, like a fairytale.

It was only yesterday when I was at Dianne's position where everything seemed like a dream and a fairytale.

It was only yesterday when I shared my first kiss with Kevin. It was magical...

And now, I am looking at them as the crowd shouted 'Kiss!'

Little by little, I saw their heads moving closer together. My heart raised with so much pain. I can't watched this. I turned my back facing the door. I literally pushed the people blocking my way and when I pass through, I ran as fast as I could and hid before they can even see my tears.

I found myself in the greenhouse where there are a lot of flowers and herbs. But, I had no time appreciating the view. I just cried my eyes out. I thought I can bear it but I guess I can't. My promise to stop loving him crashed before my eyes. I held my chest. Why does it hurt so much?

I don't have the right to get hurt like this cause he is not even mine. But why can't I stop my tears from falling?I'm so inlove with him that it hurts to see him inlove with another. I cried hard as I think about how I'm so stupid for falling for him. For being so naïve about his actions towards me in the past, for assuming things I shouldn't have.

Then suddenly, I heard someone strumming a guitar...

The melody sounds soothing but at the same time...sad.

I recognized the melody, it's Can You Smile...

I looked around and I saw John on the side playing a guitar then he started singing,

A long time ago when I looked at you

I remember that feeling

I knew you, you knew me, I remember that time

He has a really nice voice but the song made me sad even more... so I cried... and then the chorus came...

And can you smile,

You want this, you hoped for this...

With only my heart, I can't seem to have you...

Suddenly, he stopped playing. I looked at him puzzled, my eyes still streaming with tears and he just looked at me thinking. Then he continued playing...

And can you smile

I don't want to see you like this

I want to see you smiling in peace

What should I do? To bring back the smile you always do...

Between my tears, I smiled. He changed the lyrics of the song and it sounded funny. He might have realized the song is actually sad.

"Rain, stop crying over Kevin. He is not worth your precious tears," he suddenly blurted.

I was stopped. I looked at him. "How did you know?"

"I always know things," he answered. He sighed, "Well, you know, when you only focus your attention to one person, you will really fail to notice other people looking at you."

"What?" What does he mean?

"Oh. Nothing. I'm telling you, just forget about him."

"That's easy to say but the question is... how?" I said feeling helpless.

"That's why I'm here. I'm the answer to all the hows," he said smirking with confidence.

Should I trust this person? Can he really help me?

I'm uncertain but I guess we can try...

<Author's Note>: I'm so sorry for this short and lame update. I'm so uninspired to write and I'm not really feeling good, I'm so stressed. T^T I just felt the need to update this story that's why I updated it despite my current state of mind. Again, I'm so sorry. I'll do my best next time.

Well, John is in the picture now.

I don't know but I really like him.

Should I change the lead? Haha!

Thanks for reading!