JASPER

***

Nothing goes right for me tonight.

I lost her. That means I'm on edge because I lost her, and that means I'm hostile, unfriendly and grouchy for the whole afternoon. I snap at everyone, some more than others.

I have literally no idea where she went, but when I finally get to where Ziggy and the others had set up camp about thirty minutes later, she wasn't there. I even went back on myself to look for her, but nothing. By the time I got back to the campfire I was frantic, having looked all up and down the beach, even walking near the sea. Nothing.

Where the fuck is she?

After another forty five minutes, I try to be cool about it, pretending to go for swim twice, offering to do runs to the store for more beer. I just wanted to see if I could spot her, but everyone kept saying they didn't need anything. After I offered a fourth time and Ziggy smirks as he says no, I bite my tongue to stop myself from accusing them of being knobs on purpose. I couldn't see her, and as forty five minutes turned to two hours with no sign of her, I was in full blown panic mode.

"What the fuck is up with you?" Glennie asks me when I'd done my second head swivel in as many minutes.

"What? Nothing." I throw a pile of sand on the fire. "I'm bored. Does anyone want food?" I ask it for the fifth time, hoping for a positive response this time, now that I'm offering food. With several smoking weed, surely the munchies must be kicking in by now. I mean, I was genuinely hungry so chances are some of the others were. It's the only thing I can say that can get me back to my truck and away from the beach to search for her properly. She could walked home... which was monumentally stupid... but I wouldn't put it past someone trying to escape my friends.

"I could eat." I look up and I want to shout in celebration. One taker was all I needed. "You want some company?" Lana asks, but I shake my head. She's only asking me to make Ziggy jealous, and I'm not playing that game. I'm not sure how much that'll work anyway, given he's been fawning all over Steph. It'll just make him pissed at me more than anything else.

As I look across the fire, Ziggy has an arm around her, and the two are only a few inches apart. They've been connected at the hip since they left the truck and I don't really know how I feel about it, let alone Lana. Although I can certainly see how Lana feels about it, and she is clearly torn between keeping quiet and bitching him out. She's livid, but clearly choosing to keep quiet. But there's still no way I'm getting in the middle of it all.

Ziggy had been the reason I'd got into trouble in my second year. I wouldn't have said I was an upstanding citizen anyway, but I can definitely say he's had a hand in most of the other stupid shit that I'd done. He's not the worst. But as he has absentee parents that have never imposed rules to follow, he's not that easy to say no to. Once you've impressed him, he doesn't let go of you. And I was just worried that Steph would learn that the hard way tonight.

I shake my head at Lana. "Nah, I'll just take orders."

I say it with enough surety that no one contradicts me. I've been on food runs before on nights out, especially when we're on the beach as I'm usually the only one who can be bothered. The beach places close quite early, and it's expensive, so the drive back down to campus for Cookout is always a good shout. I didn't mind anyway. I could even check her apartment if she wasn't on the beach, so to cover my tracks, I'd be heading past Cookout anyway. And hey, if I found her on the way, then that was a bonus.

By the time I go to leave the circle, after taking orders, another half an hour had passed, and there was a slight chill beginning to settle on the air. I wasn't necessarily cold but I could see the girls all asking the boys for their hoodies. Glennie had chivalrously given his to Lana and she was now milking it in front of Ziggy, trying to get a rise, but having no luck. I felt bad for Lana, but she won't change Ziggy. He's too stubborn.

"So I have five burgers with bacon and cheese, two barbecue burgers, four lots of fries, milkshakes and as much beer as I can find. Is that it?" The last one had been from
Glennie, who was already fucking wasted given how high he was before we even left the car. The combination of liquor and weed has sent him more bonkers than normal.

Various people hand me various bills as a floater for all the food and I pocket it. I'd keep the cash and pay on my card, but the only ones who don't offer cash are Ziggy and Steph.

"And a veggie hot dog for me," Steph interjects. I'm tempted to say no just because, but then Ziggy would make me anyway.

"Cookout doesn't have hot dogs," I say harshly, even though I know they do. No one contradicts me, not even Ziggy, so they either can't be bothered or just don't care.

"Veggie burger then," she fires straight back, and I narrow my eyes at her before I write it in my phone.

I shake my head. I can't get over how much she's being a shitty friend right now. I don't think she'd even noticed that Libby wasn't here. In fact no one had noticed except me, and it makes me fucking furious.

"I'll be back," I say, shoving my phone into my pocket.

As I leave there's a chorus of laughs, and I have to pinch my leg to stop myself from turning around. I know they're probably laughing at me, but I had to do something; I was freaking out. Even if I couldn't find her at the beach, I'm still going to try. They didn't know how long the line would be, so I could take as long as I fucking wanted. I just needed to bloody find her before I lost my mind.

Taking my time to stroll down the sand, I walk down the middle, checking every girl that could be Libby. My heart lifts about eight times, but each time it sinks when the girl turns towards me and it's not her. My heart was beating at a mile a minute by the time I get back to my truck. It was beating so fast I could barely contain it.

"Where the fuck are you?" I ask myself quietly as I open the door, deciding to drive along the waterfront in the car anyway. I want to give it one last try in case she's sitting in one of the coffee shops or something. A desperate attempt, but I didn't know what else to do at this point.

I get into my truck and I start the engine, checking my mirrors before I pull out of the space.

Except I lurch the truck to a sudden halt when I hear a bang on the window behind me. I turn, and to start with, all I can see is a black silhouetted head. But when it moves, the blue-grey eyes of Libby are staring back at me and I swear to god I'm nearly sick with relief.

I fling open the truck door and jump out before stepping onto the wheel arch and climbing into the bed of the truck with her. She's a bit confused at my reaction, but when I pick her up onto her feet and throw my arms around her, she doesn't push me away this time. No, her arms go around my neck and I feel her tuck her face into my neck.

"Where were you?" I ask, trying not to sound too harsh as the realisation hits me that she's okay. And that she's probably been in the truck the whole time I'd been sat by the fire.

"I don't know."

I stroke her cheek with my thumb and lean my forehead against hers.

"I walked up a bit," she explains, wiping her red blotchy eyes as she pulls away from me. She keeps a hand on my forearm, just as I keep a hand on her hip as she continues. "Then I decided I was too mad at Steph to join you. Took you long enough, so you guys didn't seem to notice."

I shake my head quickly and step closer, putting my forehead back on hers. "I noticed," I contradict.

"Sure," she says, her voice dry with sarcasm.

"Libby, come on. I did notice. I've been looking for you for the last two hours." She narrows her eyes, still not believing me. "I was worried. I knew you didn't want to be here, but fuck, you didn't need to fucking run off like that."

"I didn't run off. I just... I came back, thinking someone would take longer than a couple of hours to notice."

I brush my hand over my face. "I thought you'd maybe got a cab or something?" I brush my hand on her hip and pull her slightly closer. Again she doesn't push me away and it gives me a tiny bit of hope.

She shakes her head.

"Is Steph mad?"

That makes me angry. Not angry at her, but angry that she feels guilty at leaving Steph when Steph hasn't given a flying fuck that Libby has been missing for nearly two fucking hours. Steph didn't deserve a friend like Libby.

"Do you want the truth?" I say, my voice flat as we continue to stand here in the bed of my truck.

She furrows her eyebrows and looks me in the eye as if to say 'of course', so I take a deep breath and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear before continuing.

"She hasn't even fucking noticed, Libby." I sigh. "None of them had. Except me."

She breathes in a sharp intake of air, and then looks down. I've upset her. Again. I wanted to tell it to her straight, because I wanted to show her that I mean well by her. I'm not lying to her but I'm not fucking around with her anymore. It's only day two and too many people have already.

"Well... she did seem quite taken with Ziggy," she offers up as an excuse.

"Fuck that, Libby. She's a..." She looks at me expectantly, probably wondering what expletive will come out my mouth next. "She's not a good friend."

"How would you know? You don't exactly have the best friends yourself?" She asks, gesturing with her chin to the group who were thankfully three miles down the beach and nowhere near us.

I laugh at her words, laughing at the unexpected humour in her voice. She wasn't judging me for my friends, but she was making it clear that I was better than them, which I admit had me feeling like I was floating on air.

"Where were you going anyway?" She asks, looking around her, noticing the truck was still running and we were still standing in the bed of it.

"To look for you. Under the ruse of going to find something to eat and going on a beer run."

She nods, looking past me and back towards the group, and I'm wondering what she's thinking. I hope she isn't wanting to go back there. I don't want her to, not now that I've found her.

"Did you want some company?" She asks, her cheeks pinking slightly at her forwardness. Her question is music to my ears.

I smile and I nod. Even if she hadn't wanted to join me, I was about to insist. So I'm glad she got there first.

"Okay." She strokes a hand up and down my forearm, her smile growing wide.

Reluctantly, I let her go and climb down first, offering her my hands and arms to help her climb down. She accepts with a smile, and I tuck my hands under her armpits as she presses her hands into my shoulders. I bring her down slowly, brushing her body deliberately against mine, reminding her of yesterday. I feel her breath catch in her throat and my heart quicken against my rib cage as I put her down.

She's definitely affected by me, which is something, but I have no idea if what I'm feeling is more than lust. I have no idea if it'll pass over after a few days, but we'd have to see. I didn't want it to pass. I wanted it to grow because it was making me want be... well I don't know what it was making me want to do. But I liked the way I felt around her.

And I was more than willing to put in the hours to find out.