JASPER

***

My friends are fucking knobs, is all I can say.

The ones who are in the bed of the truck are shouting at other cars, which could get me into trouble, and the rest of them in the back seat aren't helping either. The guys in the back are smoking weed, and it's strong, so after two minutes I crack and open the windows in the front. I don't want to pulled over for hot-boxing, and I could Libby looked nauseous. I can see Steph is okay, and it strikes me that Steph is a bit tougher. But that doesn't mean anything. If the girl sat next to me is strong enough to get into a car with eight weed-smoking tattooed guys, even after one of them was a dick to her, then she can take on anything.

When I pull up at the fourth stop light, I see her flinch for the third time and look behind me and what is going on. Her long hair, which is now back in braids, is hanging over the back of the front seat and into reach of Glennie. He's pulling or playing with one of the braids, and when he goes to do it again, I smash my fist into his shoulder and send him flying backwards. He sniggers, but unfortunately he knows he's hit a nerve, and I can see a plan hatch behind his eyes.

She winces at me doing it, but I know she's thankful because I see her shoulders drop slightly in relief and she looks at Steph. Steph looks apologetic, which I'm glad for because this whole fucking mess is her fault. She hadn't been picked on once, whilst Libby had been a few times. And I can see this is how the evening is going to go, and it makes me fucking mad.

At the next stop light, Glennie tries to do it again and Libby leans physically forward.

"Do you mind?" She says, her cheeks pinking. She looks shocked for a second, and both mine and Glennie's eyebrows raise in surprise.

She brings her hair round in front of her shoulders, but I've fucking had it. I turn around in my seat and thump him on the shoulder again, and he's lucky I didn't smash him in the face.

"Fucking hell, J." Glennie shouts, rubbing his shoulder this time. I'd punched him harder than I'd meant to, and from the throbbing in my fist I know I'll have left a bruise.

He swats me right back, a slap to the back of my head, and I'm about to retaliate again when I feel a small hand touch the top of my knee. I stop immediately, and look down with my eyes. I then look at her quickly and then back to road just as I hear Smith smacking Glennie round the head, and thankfully, he sees sense.

"Stop distracting me," I shout once I'd turned back, using the feel of Libby's small hand on my knee to channel calm into me. I don't even know if she's aware of how much it's helping, but I don't draw attention to it. I don't want her to take it off.

She leaves it there for most of the journey, and I'm floored. I don't know if she realises, but she's like a beacon, a calming lighthouse calling me to shore after what feels like a lifetime on the rocky seas. When she takes it away, it's because Smith leans next to her head to ask when we'd be getting there. My leg suddenly feels cold despite the heat outside, and I hoped she'd put it back.

"Smith, you fucking know where we are. We're nearly there," I point up at the street name and we're on Wrightsville Avenue, which is the small road leading to the beach.

"Hurry the fuck up, you've been driving like a granny," he jokes, reaching round Libby to swat the back of my head again. I ignore him as I know he's wanting a rise out of me, and this time I'm not giving him the satisfaction.

"If you were so worried about my driving you should have driven yourselves," I offer with a shrug, pulling on my sunglasses.

When Smith leans back, she looks like she's going to put her hand back, so I put my hand between us instead. She doesn't react, but after a few seconds I feel her hand touching mine again, making an electrical current run through me. She can't know how much she's affecting me, and I want to tell her that she is... so badly. Her presence is balm enough now, but she has to know she already means more to me than any girl ever has, ever. Right now, I want nothing more than to be alone with her in my truck. I want to feel like I can take her hand freely and lace her fingers with mine, kissing each and every one as she runs her fingers through my hair with her other hand. But I also want to keep those kinds of attentions away from the boys. One of whom I know is watching me from the back of the truck. I can feel his eyes on me.

I turn my head and push my sunglasses up into my hair. I'm looking at her with a full, intense stare, trying to say 'not here', but when she looks down at her fingers again I know I've blown it when she moves her hand away completely, fiddling with her shorts.

I move my hand to grip the steering wheel tightly and I grit my teeth. Fuck's sake.

***

When I park up, I sit for a moment whilst everyone piles out of the truck. My truck moves substantially as the boys all jump out the back and leg it down to the beach, starting to gather stones and various bits of driftwood for later. The girls hang back, waiting outside the truck, and I'm finding myself completely lost.

Libby looks annoyed, now that I'm properly looking at her, and I can definitely understand why. She's staring at the back of Steph's head, who is looking like she's about to go down to the beach. I'm about to say that they should go down there when Steph takes herself off anyway, after Ziggy no doubt.

"Where are y-" Libby calls after her but she's already gone.

I jump down my from my truck and pull my board shorts out of the bed of it and quickly change round the other side. Once I have them on, I walk over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. Of course she flinches and pushes me away, moving past me.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay," I try to say soothingly. "About everything." I watch her pace from side to side.

"You're sorry?!" She moves back towards me and shoves me. She has more strength than I thought and she ends up shoving me hard, backwards into my truck.

"You're sorry?!" She says it louder, pushing me again. This time, because I'm already resting my back on the truck, I don't go as far and it doesn't hurt as much.

"Yeah I am." I barely recognise the softness in my voice.

"I... I don't even know why I'm here." She shakes her head and then holds it her hands. "I don't know why I even came."

Her voice cracks as she pushes me again but this time her attempt is more feeble. And when she pushes me one last time, I capture her wrist in my hand and pull her gently towards me, into my chest.

She struggles to start with, trying to get away, but after a few seconds she stops. Her forehead presses against my chest and she's tucked her arms into herself, so I do what I thought was best and put my arms protectively around her. But after a few quiet moments, she sighs heavily, her breath breezing down my shirt, and moves away from me.

"Come on. Your friends will be missing you," she says quietly as she walks away from me, leaving me completely stunned.

"Libby wait." I call after her, but she doesn't stop. She doesn't even turn around.

"Fuck's sake," I say under my breath and I grab my hoodie out the truck and walk after her as she walks fast after Steph.

I tried. And now I just had to watch as the car crash of today happened all around me.