"May problema ba, Rick?"

Hindi ako makakilos.

'S-She's not...'

Sa mga sandaling ito, hindi ko na rin marinig nang maayos ang sumunod na sinabi ni tita. Hindi ko na rin marinig ang iba pang ingay sa paligid. Naglaho ang mga hagulgol at kamustahan. Nakatuod lang ako sa kinatatayuan ko, nanlalamig at naguguluhan.

I can feel her worried eyes watching me, but I paid no attention to her.

In fact, I paid no attention to any other human besides the one lying dead in the open casket.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal na akong nakatitig sa bangkay. A few minutes ago, I thought that this was just a figment of my messed up imagination. But no matter how many times I blink, the truth stared straight at me---even though she had her eyes closed already. Ilang sandali pa, hindi ko na napigilan ang mga salitang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"S-She's not my girlfriend."

Perhaps I said those words too loud because it suddenly caught everyone's attention.

A look of horror crossed their faces.

I almost regretted what I said.

Almost.

"A-Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo, Rick? Ayos ka lang ba talaga?" An accusing look sparked in her eyes, an almost murderous glint in them. Alam ko na ang sasabihin niya bago pa man ito lumabas sa kanyang bibig...

"Naka-drugs ka na naman ba?"

I guess Gail told her about my unholy habits. It was inevitable. Hindi ko ipinagmamalaki ito, pero wala rin namang saysay kung itatanggi ko pa ang mga bisyo ko sa lamay mismo ng anak niya.

Hindi.

Sa okasyong ito, alam ko kung anong mga sinasabi ko.

Alam kong hindi si Gail ang nasa kabaong na 'yan! But then again, why is everyone acting like she is? This doesn't make sense to me anymore.

Are they all fucking blind?

"Hindi niyo ba nakikita? Hindi 'yan ang anak niyo! Iba ang pinaglalamayan ninyo!"

Natahimik silang lahat.

I allowed my words to fill the air. In turn, it filled the hearts of those who loved her with something heavier than grief. Something I can never take back. Alam kong hindi ko kailanman malilimutan ang ekspresyon ni tita habang unti-unti niyang pino-proseso ang mga sinabi ko.

Kalaunan, dumilim ang kanyang ekspresyon.

Her eyes momentarily drifted to the body in the casket before fixing them on mine.

An unreadable expression on her aged face.

"Then where is her body, Rick?"

That question struck something in me. Fear? Panic? Doubt? I don't know anymore.

'Where?'

Nang tumingin ako sa kabaong, doon na ako nataranta. Doon na ako binalutan ng takot. Namalayan ko na lang na humahakbang na ako papalayo sa kanya, papalayo sa lamay at sa mga matang nakasunod pa rin sa'kin hanggang sa maglaho ako sa dilim ng lansangan.

Tinakbo ko ang distansya nang walang pag-aalinlangan.

Hindi ako lumingon. Hindi ko na kailangan pang lumingon.

'Nawawala si Gail.'

Where?

Unshed tears stung in my eyes as I thought about that corpse again. Nang makabalik ako sa apartment, agad akong dumiretso sa kwarto at lumuhod sa sahig. The floorboards creaked as I started  pulling them away, one by one. Bumaon ang maliliit na kahoy sa kamay ko, pero hindi nito kayang pigilan ang emosyong tumatagas sa mga mata ko...

Dahil hindi rin nito kayang tapkan ang dugong tumatagas sa ilalim nito.

Empty.

'Where is she?'

I sat there, staring at the empty hole I dug under the apartment not long ago. Hindi na normal ang paghinga ko. Hindi na normal ang mga nangyayari ngayon. Nasaan? Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko alam... Hindi ko---

Kinilabutan ako nang maramdaman ko ang lamig ng kutsilyo sa leeg ko.

"Back from my own funeral, I see?"

Gail.

Buhay siya.

"A-Anong ginagawa mo rito? Y-You should be lying in that casket!" 

Her laughter sent chills up my spine as she leaned in and whispered from behind me. "Pupunta ka dapat sa lamay ng girlfriend mo, hindi ba? And as far as I know, you have many girlfriends. You're a fucking playboy, Rick. Hindi mo ba naaalala, o naapektuhan na ng droga ang utak mo?"

Nang hindi ako umimik, napabuntong-hininga si Gail. Puno ng hinanakit ang kanyang boses. "That night, after one of your 'sessions', you think you were abusing me... again. Pang-ilan beses na ba? Hindi ko na rin maalala, Rick. Nawala na ako sa bilang. You were out of your mind... but that night, instead of killing 'me', you killed that girl you were cheating on me with. Akala mo hindi ko alam? Sinamantala mong wala ako at inimbitahan mo siya rito. Kaya umuwi kang sabog at siya ang nakita mo sa kwartong ito. You thought she was me. You murdered her. Hindi mo talaga natatandaan?"

No.

Suddenly, the waves of terror  came crashing down at me all at once. Gruesome visions and the putrid smell of blood invaded my senses. Malabo ang mga imahe, pero malinaw ang tinig ng mga sigaw at pagmamakaawa ng babaeng pinagsasaksak ko noong gabing 'yon. In my panic, I dug her grave under these very floorboards with my own bloody hands.

I remember laughing alone.

I remember thinking I'd hidden Gail's body well.

No one will know.

No one will ask me about her whereabouts.

But a few days later, her family informed me about the funeral.

Paano nila nahanap ang katawan? Paano nila nalamang patay na siya? Sa dami ng tanong na gumugulo sa isip ko, kalaunan, napagod na akong intindihin ang mga nangyari. Pinili kong pumunta para mabigyan ng kasagutan ang mga tanong na 'yon.

"I-It was your funeral!"

Realization suddenly felt colder than the knife to my neck.

Nanginginig kong kinuha ang cellphone ko at binasa ulit ang text ni tita sa'kin kanina.

"You are invited to your girlfriend's funeral."

I can feel the warmth of blood tricking down my skin as Gail whispered, "But nobody said it was mine... See? Mabuti na lang game na game rin si mama sa planong 'to. Suportado niya kami."

Kami?

Tuluyan nang hiniwa ng kutsilyo ang anumang salitang lalabas pa lang sana sa bibig ko.  I gurgled my own blood, feeling the liquid drenching the front of my shirt as Gail pushed me inside the hole I dug a few tragic nights ago. Nanlalabo na ang paningin ko habang nakatitig sa dalagang nakatayo lang roon.

But something still bothered me.

Because I didn't run away when her mother asked me where the body is...

I ran away because the girl in the casket blinked at me.

'A-Ano ba talagang nangyayari rito?!'

Bago ako nawalan ng malay, naramdaman ko ang presensiya ng bagong-dating. She still wore that white dress and pale make-up from the false funeral. Ngumiti nang nakakaloko sa'kin ang 'bangkay' at tumabi kay Gail.

"Want an advice, Rick? The next time you kill me, make sure I'm dead."

On the other hand, Gail had a devilish smirk on her lips as they watched me bleed to death, hand in hand.

"Don't worry, Rick... My new lover and I won't tell anyone where your body is."

They shared a passionate kiss before deciding to return the floorboards, covering me from sight.

Dumilim ang paligid.

Narinig ko ang mga yabag nila papalayo at ang pagsara ng kandado ng apartment.

I laid in the dark, dying and wondering whether I played those girls... or was it actually the other way around?

END.