"It's not very big, is it?"

"What's that, Mr No Universe?"

"Wow. That's cold, mate. Even in a place with no enthalpy yet."

"Yeah, well, maybe lay off dissing my singularity, then. At least my reality has something in it—even if it doesn't actually have any dimensions just yet. As for enthalpy—watch this."

"Ooh, nice. As far as bangs go, I've seen bigger, but that's not too shabby. Hot and shiny and getting less tiny. And hey, would you look at that—cause is following effect. You got time going, too. Good work."

"Yep. And notice the subtle matter-antimatter imbalance? Subtle, yet...significant?"

"Yeah, yeah. So you've got some stuff. Don't get too excited, mate. It's mostly all the same."

"For the moment, Skapari. For the moment. Give it time—now that we've got some."

"Fair enough, if you say so. Hmm hmm mmm hmm mmm. Er—still looking pretty uniform there, Am."

"Yeah, I think you may have misunderstood what I mean by time. I'm talking serious amounts. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of eons?"

"Eons, mate? Seriously? Bummer. Who knew creation could be so boring?"

"Boring? Hey, compared to what came before—ie, nothing—this is excitement central. Look at that inflation go."

"Yeah, I s'pose. Hey, how about a game to pass the time?"

"A game? Okay, why not?"

"Great. I'll go first. I spy, with my all-seeing eye, something beginning with..."

~~~~~

Several million years later...

"Okay, my turn, mate. Let's see. I spy, with my omniscient eye, something beginning with, uh...H."

"It's not bloody hydrogen again, is it?"

"Bugger, how'd you guess?"

"Because that's about the squillionth time you've done that one. Sheesh. You could at least try for a bit of variety."

"Variety? Variety? If you wanted variety, perhaps you should have created a universe with some. Talk about a raging lack of heterogeneity."

"Ah, see, now—that's where you're wrong, Skarpers. Look over there—we're just about to get our first supernova. Just you watch this. The periodic table will have some new entries in no time.

"Oh, yeah. Would you look at that? Pretty. Hmm, let's see what we've got: mercury, lead, gold, uranium—well, they all seem harmless enough. The main thing is, they should see us through another eon or two of I Spy. Your go, isn't it?"

"I reckon that might be enough I Spy, Big S. Now I've got some stuff that actually stays put when I stick it somewhere, let's see just what I can do with it."

~~~~

Many more million years later...

"Hey, Am."

"What's up?"

"I think there's something wrong with that star over there."

"Huh? Looks fine to me."

"No, not that one. The other one. The little one going around the star."

"Oh, that. That's not a star."

"Not a star? What is it, then?"

"Just a little side-project I've been working on. Kind of a big-arse spacey thing, but not a star. I thought it might add a bit of variety to the place."

"Right, interesting. So, what are you gonna call it?"

"Haven't quite decided yet. I'm tossing up between planet or potato. Tell you what, since you don't have any stuff of your own to name, I'll let you decide."

"Really? Wow. Thanks, Am. I know, why don't we call it a skapari? Good name, and it's not like it's getting a lot of use in my universe."

"Your universe?"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine, my void. Anyway, what do you say?"

"Nah, I think I'll go with potato. It just seems to fit."

"Hey, you said I could decide!"

"That's right, I did. Between planet or potato."

"But...oh, fine. In that case, I choose planet."

"Really? But it just looks so potato-ey. Still, a deal's a deal, I guess. Planet it is. I do like potato, though. I'll have to remember that for later."

~~~~

Even more millions of years later...

"Really committed to the whole planet thing, huh, Am? What's that now? Several billion?"

"Yeah, something like that, I suppose."

"And you don't think that's enough?"

"Enough? The whole place is still getting bigger, Skapari. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should have thought the whole dark energy thing through a little more. I dunno how I'm ever going to furnish the place. Anyway, it's not really a matter of enough planets at the moment. It's a matter of finding the right kind."

"The right kind? Mate, you've got gas giants and ice dwarves and pretty much everything in between. What more could you want?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, isn't it? I need a planet with just the right conditions. The major complication being that I don't know what the right conditions are."

"The right conditions for what, mate?"

"Oh, just another little side-project. I'm working on making some new stuff, see."

"What, like extra elements? New laws of physics? That kind of stuff?"

"Nah, I reckon we've got enough of those. Seven laws of thermodynamics should be plenty. In fact, I might even cut a few. I'm thinking of way more interesting stuff than that."

"Oh, yeah. What kind of stuff?"

"Sentient stuff."

"Sorry, what?"

"Sentient stuff."

"Sentient stuff? As in, like, stuff with sentience?"

"That's the stuff."

"But...but...is that even possible?"

"What do you think I've been spending the last few eons trying to figure out? But I reckon, yeah, with the right conditions—temperature, radiation, gravity, etc—it just might work."

"But why would you even want to do that?"

"Oh, I dunno. I just thought it might be fun. Think of all the interesting stuff it could get up to. And it's not like it could do any harm or anything. No offence, but it would be way more fun than I Spy."

"Fair enough. But several billion planets in, all you've got so far are rocks and ice and gas and volcanoes and such. I reckon you're pushing enthalpy uphill, mate."

"Maybe, Skarpers, maybe. But there's this one promising little rocky world I've had my eye on for a bit. Got a nice gooey primordial soup bubbling away, it does. All kinds of organic chemistry going on. I reckon I might lob a few extra meteors at it and see just what I can brew up. You never know your luck in a big universe. And mine's getting pretty big."

"Yeah, yeah. Bloody show-off."