Doepaw raced out of the camp and nearly crashed into Ashpaw, quivering with the ferocity of her purr. "You're back!" She cried, rubbing along her friend in quick, frantic movements.

It was such a welcoming thing, to be missed, to be loved, that for a moment, Ashpaw forgot the hostile way Doepaw had acted before, and simply melted into the touch of her fellow apprentice, her own body starting to vibrate with the thrum of happiness.

Other apprentices followed, sailing out of the entrance to camp, tails waving high as the crushed into a group, words spilling and blurring together, one message still clear, despite the differences in phrases. We missed you. We're glad you're back. We're sorry.

For a moment, just a moment, she caught the gaze of Stagpaw, and he nodded, such a little thing, an imperceptible thing, but it flooded her with so much more warmth than any other words chattered by her peers.

He had promised, hadn't he? To be there, to be waiting when she came back? And here he was, along with everyone else. Everyone else, who had been so harsh, so angry that day, such a stark contrast to the way the moved along her now, almost as if failing to brush against her for a moment would make her disappear. That she was only as tangible as their touch.

And her parents! They were there, in a tangle of tails and a cluster of words and underlying it all, steady as her beating heart, that purr, that thrum of happiness that rippled every action of every cat around her.

Except for him. One look from Maplestar and she could feel shivers of apprehension tingling down her pelt, chilling and cold and shattering the warmth of the moment. Ashpaw stiffened, and from that small action, there was a large reaction. The apprentices scattered almost immediately, not a word spoken through their disappearance.

Leafgaze and Hazefoot drifted away next, mumbled words about patrols and soft spoken apologies crowding Ashpaw's ears as they left her. And now it was just Charpaw.

Ashpaw stared evenly at her sibling, her sister, but could this next moment change everything? She could feel that anger, that bitterness building inside her, but oh how she longed to just be known, to just be held and loved. To have sister, not a rival. She would gladly shed every scrap of her resentment if it meant everything would be loving between the two of them!

Charpaw scoffed, halting Ashpaw's thoughts, and stalked away, tail swinging low, annoyance exuding from her in waves and kicks, panging painfully in Ashpaw as she watched her sister go.

That moment of sorrow was quickly overcome by the bitterness once more, and this time she clung to it, welcomed it, loved it. If she could gain no warmth and care from those she knew, then she would find it within herself first.

And if it all burned, she would too.

It was truly strange how quickly life seemed to run when you weren't grappling for your very survival. Out in the Open Lands, every moment stretched on and yet blurred, a neverending search for food, for something to dull the pains that came from lack of nourishment.

Yarrowtuft had insisted she stay in the Medicine Den the first few days, a decision which she loathed with every fiber of her being. How dare he keep her from her friends, from her life, after she had fought to stay alive long enough to return?

And if that wasn't bad enough, she had to spend her days waited upon by a sniveling Owlpaw. Well, perhaps that bit was ok, but still, it made her feel weak. How was she supposed to regain the trust and respect of her fellow clanmates if she had to wait for a pitiful medicine cat apprentice to provide for her?

At least she could send him on silly errands. At least her friends caught snatches of time with her when they could. At least Charpaw never visited, so she would not have to see her face, full of smug looks and deceitful eyes.

At least she was no longer in the Open Lands.

Her fur bristled at the thought of that place, and yet, it was not filled with the anger and resentment she had expected. Not even a taste of fear lingered in her at those words, just a faint feeling of tiredness. Yes, that was it. Tired, that she had to endure such a thing, that she had to grapple for existence.

Her thoughts were so rudely interrupted by Owlpaw stumbling into the den, dragging a bird by the wing. Ashpaw crinkled her nose in distaste. She hoped that bird wasn't for her, especially after he was dragged it through the dirt and dust of the camp to bring it here. Honestly, he should have chosen something less... ambitious, seeing as that thing was nearly the same size as him.

He stopped triumphantly just a whisker's twitch away, sides heaving as he grinned down at her. It took him several moments to collect his breath enough to speak, and when he did it was still wheezing with exertion. "I... brought you... some food!" His grin returned in full force, but Ashpaw just rolled her eyes and turned away.

"I'm not eating that." She tucked her tail over her nose, trying to stifle her laughter from his ridiculous antics. Did he think he was impressing her? Or that she would change her outlook on him as a weakling? Well, he was sorely wrong then.

He gave a disappointed little sound, almost like a kit mewling, and shuffled away, dragging his paws as if trying to elicit a drop of pity, of guilt from her. Oh, Ashpaw pitied him alright. She just didn't care about him enough to actually do anything about it.

She waited until the shuffling sound of paws faded away, then rolled over and eyed the blackbird in front of her. Though the outward appearance was disheveled and dirty, it looked plump enough.

Perhaps she should eat it anyways. Though she hated to admit it, Yarrowtuft was partially right with all of his harping about her needing to eat, and something about malnourishment. And the blackbird was very tempting.

No. She hardened herself with resolve, turning away from the prey, refusing to look at it. She would not long herself be swayed, and she would not give Owlpaw the satisfaction of returning and seeing that she had eaten it. She just had to wait it out. Doe was to arrive any moment now, and perhaps she could ask her to fetch a mouse or shrew from the pile, anything but that blackbird with its shining black eyes.

Yarrowtuft bustled in, followed closely by Owlpaw, a quick look at Ashpaw, disheartened. She fixed her best glare on him, but she didn't have the motivation for much else.

They settled in the other side of the den, Yarrowtuft scolding Owlpaw almost immediately for not paying attention, then continuing to rant on about herbs and uses and such.

Ashpaw couldn't fathom how or why Owlpaw had ever chosen this lot in life, and yet here he was. She flicked her tail in front of her face, inadvertently drawing his attention away from his mentor.

The older medicine cat cuffed his side, and Ashpaw winced slightly as the other apprentice whimpered something and tucked down, ears tilted in feigned interest in the lesson.

She studied him, with his too skinny self and wide yellow eyes, the dark charcoal markings under his eyes, the way he hesitated before speaking, a thousand little things more that she had noticed about him. No, he should have never been a warrior, and though Ashpaw didn't quite see him as a medicine cat, she couldn't fathom him as a warrior, fighting and struggling against the dangers of the clans.

There was a soft chirp, a greeting, and Ashpaw whipped her attention around to the entrance where Doepaw stood, already holding a starling in her jaws.

Ashpaw twitched her whiskers in greeting, sweeping her tail in a welcoming gesture, inviting Doepaw to settle into the nest with her. The other apprentice padded over, casting sideways glances at the two medicine cats, entranced in their work.

Ashpaw shifted slightly to make more room for Doepaw, then bumped their foreheads together affectionately. "How nice of you to visit me," she whispered. "I'm about to go crazy if I have to listen to Owlpaw's whining for a moment more."

Doepaw made a face. "He's just so odd. Did you see him dragging that blackbird earlier? He had to stop so many times just to "catch his breath", or so he claimed."

Ashpaw's stifled a groan. "Did I see him drag it? Doepaw, he brought me that bird! Honestly, I don't know if I would have even eaten that thing if it was the last piece of prey in the Open Lands!"

Doepaw broke into peals of laughter, earning a glare from Yarrowtuft, and Ashpaw noticed, a hurt look from Owlpaw. The smallest sliver of a twinge of guilt hit her, but she ignored it. Owlpaw wasn't important enough for her to be guilty over. Medicine cats took the weakling's way out, forsaking the glorious way of a warrior.

Pride tingled in her paws at the thought of becoming a warrior, though it was still over a moon away. "Enough about him," she whispered, tucking closer to Doepaw. "Are you excited to be a warrior soon? Isn't your trial supposed to happen in the next few days?"

Doepaw's eyes glinted and she nodded eagerly. "Oh yes! The trial, of course, will be rough, but only the strong should be able to become warriors. Weaklings have no place in this clan."

Ashpaw didn't dare to hesitate, and echoed the words she had heard all her life. "Weaklings have no place in this clan."

But, if there were no weaklings, would she be counted as the strong?

Ashpaw waited with Charpaw and Patchpaw, staring up at Maplestar with rapt attention, eyes shining and wide. The leader was perched upon the stump in the center of camp, Foxsnarl and Yarrowtuft nestled in the roots below him. The deputy had a disinterested look on his face, but the glint in his eyes betrayed him. Yarrowtuft, however, was as clear as could be. And he was clearly bored.

Doepaw and Stagpaw were sitting in front of the leader, tails slowly swishing, almost in unison. Ashpaw could hardly breathe, yet she couldn't fathom how the two of them felt sitting there, under the full scrutiny and view of the entire clan.

Maplestar spoke, and though his words were not loud, everything fell into silence, as if nothing dared to speak or draw attention while the leader was speaking. Heart in her throat, Ashpaw listened, quivering from an onslaught of emotions.

Fear, of the trials. Worry, for her deepest friend. Eagerness, to greet them as new warriors. Apprehension, knowing her time was coming soon.

"Cats of Needleclan, we have come together to honor a tradition coursing back as long as the blood flowing within us." Maplestar stared up at the moon, and a shiver of awe filled Ashpaw at the sight of him, light tangling in his eyes, yet casting the rest of him into shadow, the true picture of a leader.

"Long ago, our first leader looked upon the weak ways of our neighboring clans, saw the way they stumbled and fell beneath attackers, and swore to never be seen as anything but the strongest. We have been raised to fight, to cleanse ourselves of the weak, and tonight, we must do so."

He looked down at the two apprentices, and she could see Doepaw shrink back, though Stagpaw stared back, still as the moon. "Tonight, these two hopeful apprentices will go out into the forest and withstand their Trial. We as the clan will stand for, but against them. We will not relent. Weaklings have no place in this clan."

Ashpaw echoed the words, but it lacked its normal passion. She had already been cast from the clan once, what if she was weak when the time came?

"Doepaw, Stagpaw, go now into the forest for you trial. If you are to return, you will have earned your warrior name. We will be waiting for you."

The two apprentices darted out as if fire licked at their paws, disappearing from camp in barely a heartbeat. Maplestar flicked his tail up, capturing the breath and attention of the rest of the gathered clan.

"We will go now and test them. Hold nothing back, for only the strong should survive." A hush of anticipation, the thrum of energy, before his tail flicked down again, the only urging the warriors needed.

"Run."

Slowly realizing that Needleclan is pretty messed up... oh well, it's my own fault for writing it that way :T

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out, but I was true to my word in saying you'd get at least one a month! I hope you guys enjoyed this one, and I can't wait until the next one!

Bye!