Hi, I'm Breezesong and I would like to tell you one thing about myself. OMFG I WILL DIE IF I HAVE TO PRESENT LIKE HOLY HELL.

In Grade Four, when my school starts speeches, I was fine. I wrote my speech in a day and was one of the first kids to go up and present. I failed.

I wanted so badly to make it to the gym (it basically means you've beat everyone in your class aside from the other people going to the gym with your fabulous presenting skills) and guess what.

I didn't.

There is where my speech-giving confidence was utterly crushed. I felt like I had failed and I wasn't comfortable presenting from then on.

Except for the singing presentation we had to do later on that year, but that's a whole different story.

In Grade Five, I was only a little nervous during any kind of presenting.

My speech topic was foxes (I don't even know why, I was very weird that year to the point a lot of people in my class thought I was kinda creepy) and after I presented I didn't feel good at all about it.

I think that's where my problem began. I spoke too fast and was shaking. My writing was far from my best. I just hated that speech.

My other presentations throughout the year were not great, excluding the presentation me and my friend did for our Ancient Civilizations project (which was Ancient Israel if you wanted to know). My "Hunred-Thousand Dollar Project" presentation wasn't great, but I'm still a bit mad about the turn-out of my Structure Building project. I made a house.

Out of glue, popsicle sticks, markers and paint. I did not like the way I presented it, not even in the slightest. I hadn't planned at all how I would present, and I was kinda rambling, mumbling, all that stuff.

Now, I lose sleep when I know there's a presentation. I think about everything that could happen and I tell myself not to cry.

I'm done with my Grade Six year, and let me tell you...

1st Presentation Of The Year- Fiction Book Talks

I didn't have much of a problem. I wrote it, practiced it, presented it. I was scared, yes, I was shaking and I talked too fast, but I got up and did it without problem. We had these "Peer Evaluate" (something like that) things, and there were "Something You Liked About The Presentation" and "Something That Needs Improvement". On every single evaluation sheet, under the "Needs Improvement", I got this.

"It was good, you just need to talk a little slower."

I was utterly crushed. Again. I was re-crushed. Flattened. Idk.

I was scared, I couldn't help it! I didn't like that presentation either, though.

2nd Presentation - Speeches

Here's where it became a problem. I picked my topic on the last day possible for topic picking. Canadian Icons. Not like people, but things, like Tim Horton's and Hockey and the Maple Leaf.

I wrote so many different variations, re-read it so many times. It was perfect.

Except...

The hard part. Presenting.

The second day of presenting, I was supposed to go to Sick Kids for a specialist appointment (I'm not going to answer you if you ask what for. I don't have any problems or anything, but I just don't want to talk about it. Past few times I've explained it to someone they were grossed out and even though I shrugged it off I had to keep from crying. It hurts when you have a scar and people get grossed out when you work up the courage to show them when they ask) and missed it. I didn't present the first day. I would be the only one to present the third day.

That day, I couldn't get out of my chair. I was shaking and crying. I was terrified. My teacher let me get a drink of water. After a while of trying to calm down, he let me wait until the only other kid that had to go went on Monday.

Then Monday came.

Noticing how scared I was, the kid volunteered to go first. Then it's my turn.

I cry again, and get it postponed until the next day.

I get a peptalk from my mom and I'm ready. My teacher forgets.

THE NEXT DAY

I have to present. I'm still crying and stuffz, but my friend's allowed to come up with me. I manage to get it done, but even at the mention of a presentation, I'm trying not to cry.

3rd Presentation - French Astrological Sign Paragraph

I was not okay with this one. I was around the last to go. The first day I panicked when it was my turn. Two kids went before me. When it was my turn, I was literally frozen to my seat. I stared horrified at my French teacher with my mouth open, unable to speak. I was freezing, in a sweater, in LATE SPRING. I ended up only presenting in front of the teacher.

I could go on, but you get the point.

I'm terrified of speeches.

My friend even called it a phobia. Sure, it could be.

If you think your "stage fright" is bad, do you literally "lose your voice" and feel glued to your seat when it's your turn to speak? Do you feel like you'll fail or that everyone is watching your every move?

It's the scariest thing ever for me. I'm arachnophobic and I'd rather hold a spider than present. Considering even the tiniest spiders scare me, that's alot.

A/N:

I found the media a while ago. I was glad to find that it had a name. If that is the true name of "stage fright", then I guess I could say I have another phobia?