And the week wasn't any better the whole break we got into arguments which only ended in beatings. Mainly by mum but some by dad even though he held some guilt in his eyes it was only there for a split second before it was gone. I knew that when I go back to Hogwarts I'd have to pretend like nothing happened to me at home during break. So a few days before I practiced the art of faking a smile, hiding my bruises and the marks with makeup or a spell. Mostly a spell to conceal them from others, more my friends that have become my misfit family at best. I knew my father was against Slytherins but mum she grew up around them even if she ended up in ravenclaw.

It didn't matter she once told me that despite what happened she would always love me. I guess the truth comes out eventually because I wasn't loved by her nor my father. And part of me hopes uncle Sirius is alive and healthy or however healthy he can get. Because deep down I know that if he knew what mum and dad were doing he'd be disappointed in them. And then maybe he'd side with me, I knew uncle regulus would if he were alive but he wasn't. At least that's what we all knew because no one ever found him again not even his body. So there is a chance he could be alive but it's a very slight chance at best. The night before we return to Hogwarts I got this odd feeling inside and as I went to sleep images flooded my head.

"Find me young one" a voice said in the distance

I was standing on the edge of a cliff surrounded me was that of the black lake and the waves were crashing harshly against the rocks.

"Find you, who are you?" I asked

"All in due time little niece, find me and I shall help you" he said

I knew it was him, it had to be whether he was alive or dead and speaking through my dreams I wasn't sure. But I promised myself then in that moment I'd find him no matter what the cost was I would find uncle regulus. I had a deeper feeling he was alive and semi well, that feeling didn't go away the next morning either. The feeling of him surrounding me, he was calling out for help and I knew I had to find him. Wherever he was hiding and whatever it was from I knew it was meant to be he was meant to help me and I'd find him if it was the last thing I'd ever do.

____________

When we got to the station I immediately had thought and debated whether to sit alone or find my friends. I knew if I sat alone it would be suspicious so I went straight to the compartment where my friends would be. Sure enough majority of them were already seated causing me to smile and sit between Theo and Matty.

"Hello" I said softly

Trying to block him out of my thoughts at the same time as play it off as though break went smoothly.

"How was break?" Pansy asked

"It was decent I guess you could say, mum and dad didn't bother me much they were too busy working or whatever" I lied easily

It was simple for me lately, the lie slipped out smoothly and they believed them even with a titled head from Matty. I ignored it and chatted happily with my friends because in reality I was happy but only with them. I'd never be happy at home anymore but they didn't need to know that not yet at least. I would hide it as long as I could even if it broke trust between us all. I knew they couldn't know what happened because if they did then mum and dad would be in trouble. It's not that I want to protect them it's that I need to find my uncle first before I can even tell them or think about telling them. Because if regulus was alive then maybe he could take me in and get me far from those people that are meant to protect me. The people I'm supposed to have love from, being taught the good things but no their hatred for me was clear enough to me. It was in their eyes, their words and their actions all the time, so playing pretend was my only option for now.