"I am not in a happy mood. I have been here for three days, and so far nothing has gone my way." I say to Sami picking up the phone. I check the time, 7am "Why are you calling me so early, it's like 4am for you there."

"So sorry I'm worried because my best friend moved across the country, and hasn't called me since."

I'm about to argue back, but I realize she's right. "Sami, I'm sorry. Sit down. I have a lot to tell you."

"Okayy" she sounds confused.

"I think he's engaged" I say. The other line is quiet and I take the opportunity to fill her in on the rest. She sits in a stunned silence for a few more moments.

"Martina, I'm so sorry I know you l-" but she doesn't finish the sentence. She knows not to. We talk for another thirty minutes before she has to go, and I am left alone in my silent apartment, still drowsy from being woken up. The silence does not last long when my phone begins to buzz again.

"Hi! Is this Martina Park?"

"Yes" I say to the overly chipper woman on the phone.

"Hi Martina! This is Veronica with The Village Voice. I am calling to confirm your position with us, and to tell you the details on your first day here."

I hold the phone away from me silently screaming, jumping up and down.

"Hi- Hi yes, thank you" I try not to sound too enthusiastic.

When my second call of the morning is over, the first feels like a distant memory. Tomorrow, the rest of my life will begin tomorrow. There will be no more waiting for things to fall into place, because things finally have, and it is because of me, and all that I have worked for. It's time to put Tae behind me.

~

What does someone wear on their first day of work in the adult world? I stare at the options that I had meticulously laid out last night. It takes a moment for me to shove the tight pencil skirt over my butt. I haven't worn this in years, and I am more woman now. I hail my first cab, which I seem to be a natural at, take a deep breath, I am on my way.

The office is not what I expected. Instead of a tall monochrome skyscraper I am met with a humble brick building with ivy growing all over. I waddle up the steps in my too tight skirt. The office is hectic with people walking around showing eachother ideas, random things pinned to the walls and several different genres of music blasting from different desks. It is perfect. I feel slightly insecure and pull at the hem of my skirt when I see that I am the most professionally dressed by far. The majority of people have on blue jeans and some type of t-shirt or sweatshirt. An older man with a goatee sees me standing there in the chaos and comes over to welcome me.

"And you must be Martina," he says in a British accent.

"Let me show you the office, I am Shelby Cross" he says smiling and putting a hand on my back to guide me.

"Hi, yes" I say, struggling to pull my hand from my pocket to shake his "I'm sorry, I was just taking it all in." I gesture to the chaos.

"Ah, yes" he says as we start walking "We are quite a tight knit community here. We all share ideas, and ask each other's opinions. Nothing goes out without it being passed around at least three times."

"What's this?" We stopped in front of a giant board on the wall. It is covered in different scraps of paper, I cannot make out left from right, and none of it is cohesive.

"Ahh, good eye. This" He pauses" is our next publication."

"What? How?" I question.

He laughs, "I know it probably doesn't make sense right now, but this is what happens when so many voices come together. Give it some time, and I bet in a few weeks when you come to look at this again, you will see the vision." He points around to the chaos of people, "Once you know them", He points back at the board, "You will know this. Now come", We start walking again, "I will show you the photography department."

"Hello Veronica" He says, opening a glass door to the back of the main room. A tall slender woman with long black hair sits behind a reception desk. She is pretty. "This is Martina, she is a new photographer starting today. Could you please collect her first day paper work?"

"Yes Mr. Cross" she says, smiling at me, "It is lovely to meet you Martina."

I smile and politely nod my head to her. She is so posh, and she looks familiar.

Mr. Cross walks me to my desk, but realization hits halfway there. I whip my head around to look at the receptionist now at the copier making my paperwork. It's her. Again. I have to remember to manually breathe while Mr.Cross shows me my desk in the farthest back most hidden corner of the room. "I know that this might seem like a forgotten spot right now" he gestures to my desk, "But, work hard, and you will be up there in no time. I saw your portfolio, and I see much potential in you Martina. Don't prove me wrong."

"It's perfect" I fake a smile at him and run my had over the vinyl wood, "Can you please show me the bathroom?" I cross my legs slightly.

I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and frown. It is the face of a clown. No, the enitire circus. Fate must have been annoyed by my complaining before, because now this really feels like I am being plotted against.

I spend the rest of the day peeking my head out and staring down the rows of desks at reception, trying to figure out if she recognized me, and doing the paperwork that was very neatly laid on my desk. Most of the shock has worn off by the end of the day. What I am left with is the awkward question of how to get around this.

I see Veronica get up to leave, grabbing her coat. My desk overlooks the street below and I see a man waiting for her on the corner. Its him, Tae, my Tae. He holds his hand out to her and smiles. She excitedly hops towards him and grabs it. They swing their arms back and forth together as they walk down the street. The sight is excruciating, as dramatic as it sounds. I have to almost dive out of the window when he turns and squints back up at the building. He shakes his head and they disappear around the corner.

I notice I am the only one who hasn't left yet. No one had told me that the day was over. Great. They have already forgotten me. I grab my coat and bag, and swiftly walk from the building. I see the corner that they had just walked down, curiosity overtakes me. The lie that Tae had crafted has been broken, and I need to see what his reality actually is.

I turn the corner and cover my face when I see them stopped waiting in line at a food vendor. The man hands them two drinks, and they continue to walk. They turn another corner. My head is telling me that it is wrong to follow them around another, but I find myself doing it again, and again, and again until they stop in front of a beautiful brownstone. The house is probably worth more than both my parents combined. I hug the wall of the alley watching. He kisses her on the cheek, I feel like a creep for watching this. I turn and walk away to where I can catch a cab without being seen.

The sun has now set, and the city makes me feel more exposed than it does in the day. The dark alleyway is not helping. Fear grips me when someone else joins, walking fast towards me. I am backed up to the side of the building. I am ready to attack, or ready for them to attack me, but instead I am hugged. There is a moment of confusion before I recognize the smell. His smell.

"It was you, I knew it" He says into my neck tickling my skin. I am transported, back to that weekend, the touch, the smell, the sound of his voice. It's all familiar in a distant far off way. A memory I am always reaching for. Now I can remember how I felt those days. All the happiness, and all the pain. It is intoxicating.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" He asks releasing the hug. We both hover for a moment our faces close, and then we fully release the hug.

"Okay" I say.