Flareheart dropped her mew to a snarl, her pelt spiked with rage. "Go back to camp to clear your head. You know you're not supposed to use your claws in training, I am very disappointed in you. Morningstar will be hearing about this." Hawkpaw hung her head and dragged her feet away from the shocked cats surrounding her. I'm sorry.

Instead of going back to the stone hollow, Hawkpaw dawdled over to the lake, staring over the edge at her reflection. An array of fish swam beneath the water, their tails sending up bubbles and ripples on the calm surface. The lake-side air was pungent with the fragrance of damp soil, the slippery stones underneath her pads cooling them down. She slapped her image and growled in frustration. Great, just great. Now I am going crazy and won't be made a warrior until I'm an elder thanks to my slip up today. Why did I do that even? It was like, I had no control over myself.

A snap of a twig behind her made her whip around, the fur along her spine ruffled in fear. She calmed down when she saw Lightningmask emerge from the edge of the trees. "Great StarClan, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

He grinned sheepishly, "my bad. What are doing out here by yourself?"

She sighed and turned back around and wrapped her tail around paws, "I messed up today, but, I didn't try it. It felt like there was another me taking over, it was strange."

"You got bees in your brains, you furball," he purred as he sat down next to her.

"Maybe so." She broke off and watched the sun beginning to dip behind the horizon, cascading a bombardment of colors that were flung across the sky with terrible alacrity, the receding blues and oranges clashing with the inky stain pushing it away. It shone on the lake below, the radiant glow scintillated and she gazed mesmerized as the claw-moon appeared on its facade, silverpelt hanging above. "Moonrise is so beautiful," she breathed.

"Just like you," Lightningmask whispered.

"Don't make fun of me," she pouted.

"Haha, yeah sorry..." his voice trailed off and she realized he was smiling softly at her, the moon making his ivory face ignite white hot. She felt her pelt burn awkwardly as he hesitantly licked her cheek. She stared into his deep-set blue eyes and blushed, thankful for her fur covering it. She groomed her own chest fur absent mindfully.

"L-let's go back, w-we shouldn't be out here for too long or else everyone will worry." Hawkpaw stammered and led the way back to the ThunderClan bivouac, her tail flicking restlessly. Lightningmask strode beside her, his eyes kept wandering to her curiously as they maneuvered through the foliage. They departed ways in the center of camp by saying short farewells and she circled twice in her nest before settling down. What was that? Nothing, we're just friends and he was only comforting you. Don't over read silly things like that, she chided to herself before falling asleep.

"So, you and Lightningmask," Thistleclaw snarled, his sharp amber eyes narrowed.

"Thistleclaw! That doesn't matter right now, what happened to me earlier?" Hawkpaw was in StarClan again, her panic of the event earlier today replaying in her mind.

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you see? I had no command over myself, I nearly killed Applepaw!" she cried.

"But that was you, your true self." Thistleclaw said in an eerie tone. "You need to understand that killing is natural in the process of becoming the greatest warrior, a little blood on your paws won't hurt."

"But their my clanmates!"

"Some of your clanmates will remain traitorous and try to bring you down, so the best answer is to get rid of them, permanently." His voice was ice cold and sent a shudder down her spine.

"I'm not sure if I want this," she whispered.

"Do you not want to become the best? Are you scared?" Thistleclaw growled.

"I never imagined StarClan would be like this."

"Like what? Not afraid to kill for the greater good? We know what's most sensible, trust us." Thistleclaw brushed against her and hissed, "Stay with me."

Hawkpaw shuffled her paws looking down at them, "I will."

"Good," he purred and broke off from her. "Now let's practice."

The dawn light seeped through the bramble stems covering the apprentices' den opening, reaching Hawkpaw whose bed was pressed against the back wall of the cave along with her littermates. She yawned and got out of bed on stiff legs, her joints aching from the training. She gazed sadly at Applepaw who was sleeping soundly. She hadn't had the chance to apologize yet, afraid to speak to him and make things worse between them. Outdoors, she was met by a cross Flareheart who was sitting on the ground tensely. "You're up at least," she snapped. "The others must think dawn patrol is a joke or something."

"I can try to wake them up if you like," she offered knowing it was best to stay on her good side when she was in a mood like this.

"Please," she meowed brusquely. Hawkpaw ducked inside the warriors' den and was overcome with the heat from the sleeping bodies. She prodded Brighteyes in the rib cage rousing her, and butted Moonface with her muzzle. She left them stirring in their burrows and crossed back over to her mentor. "Well?"

"They're coming." Flareheart let a breath out and got up as the other two crawled outside.

"Oh my, it's so early," Brighteyes squinted at the sun as Moonface sauntered over slowly, his eyes half closed. Flareheart rolled her eyes and the patrol left, traveling down to the WindClan border.

"Hey, Flareheart, can we practice after this?" She saw her mentor stiffen and Hawkpaw cringed. "Or not actually, it's fine."

"We can do a run-through, but I want you to collect moss for the elders first as punishment." Hawkpaw gave a timid nod and they walked on in muteness until they reached the scent line. "All right, let's start from the edge and work our way down." Hawkpaw began spraying thickets of bracken, staring out across the moor. It seemed to stretch on forever, the rolling hills dotted with heather and white fluffy shapes.

"Is that sheep?" she asked, pointing her tail at the odd figures.

"Yup, they don't ever stray on our side so don't worry about them. Plus, I hear they're harmless and don't give a mousetail about cats, you can sleep under them for all they care," Moonface mewed. She giggled at the thought of sleeping under one of those things and continued. As the sun climbed into the sky, it tinged the leaves with a warm glow and dappled the ground below, making a decorative pattern on her coat. She gave a sigh of relief when they finished and flexed her claws.

Flareheart meowed, "we can go back now, I'm starving."

"You still have to set up patrols for today," Brighteyes reminded her.

"I don't think they'll mind if I grab a quick bite."

"If there's anything left," Moonface chuckled.

"I can only hope, the heap was pretty low when we left and I can't help myself until the queens and elders are fed. We just have too many hungry mouths to feed."

"There aren't that many."

"Whatever. Hawkpaw, you can go get that moss awhile. You'll find some dry lichen by the training hollow."

"Okay, bye." Hawkpaw waved her tail and sped off, twisting nimbly around trunks and shrubs until she reached the clearing. She began gathering moss by extending her claws to their full length and slicing quickly, as Flareheart had shown her. She pulled her paw toward her and rolled up the moss into a compact ball, repeating it several times until she got several bundles. "How am I going to carry all this myself?" she growled in frustration. She collected a few in her mouth and clutched the last two against her chest with her claws, hobbling away. As she limped inside the camp, she heard a burst of laughter from her right. She glanced over as Snakepaw was rolling on his back with laughter.

"StarClan's kits you look like an abomination!"

"Instead of making fun of me maybe you'd like to help instead?" she growled.

His whiskers twitched, "nah, I'm good like this. It's entertaining." She glowered at him and staggered inside the elders' den.

"Here's some fresh moss for your nests," she meowed as she spat out the clumps.

"Do mind to weave it into our nests? I'm afraid I've been having some back pain lately, youngin'," Cedarbelly rasped. The old, light brown tom seemed more scrawny than usual, his white belly matted with dirt.

"I would appreciate that too," Hightail yawned, his long tail curled over his nose.

"Sure, I don't mind." She began to entwine the lichen, looping it tidily as she worked rapidly. After the fresh moss was woven in Cedarbelly's nest, she moved on to Hightail, knitting it neatly.

"You're great at this," Hightail purred hoarsely.

"Don't forget me," Robinpelt croaked.

"Oh, I could never forget you, Robinpelt," she muttered. When she was finished she bowed to the elders before trotting away.

"Thank you!" Cedarbelly called after her.

Sorrelbreeze was pressed against the wall of the camp, sheltered in the fronds of a fern beside Raindapple who was murmuring something to her. "Sorrelbreeze! Do you want to hunt?" Hawkpaw pranced over and nuzzled her cheek.

"No thanks, dear. I don't feel well and think it's best to stay inside for now." Her mew sounded like she was grinding sand on her teeth, her eyes dull and despondent.

"B-but..."

"Leave her alone, she's still grieving, Hawkpaw." Raindapple warned her and turned back to her mother.

"Its nearly been a moon since Fallengaze's death, and you're still upset? You have to move on, you can't neglect your duties and clanmates!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, dear, it's been too hard for me."

"Hard for you? What about your kits? Don't you think we're distressed too? You should have been there for us, but instead you're sulking over Fallengaze still! He's probably dismayed to see you in a state like this, forsaking your Clan and family," she snarled as anger boiling inside her.

Sorrelbreeze flinched and seemed to shrink inside her pelt as Raindapple yelled, "Stop it, Hawkpaw! Leave her alone!" She scowled and stomped away, her tail flicking in annoyance. Sorrelbreeze's being so stupid, neglecting her Clan! How dare she? What about her kits? Don't we still matter to her?

"Higher!" Thistleclaw's command echoed in her ears as she stretched. "Good! Let's move on to something new now." He flicked his hind legs into the air, spun around on his forepaws and leaped backward, then reared up and raked the air with each paw before tucking his head down and doing a neat forward roll.

"Wow, let me try!" Hawkpaw eagerly attempted it but landed on her back as she tried to roll. A purr rumbled in his throat and he helped her up.

"I can see this taking awhile."

"Let me do it again, I'll get it!" Thistleclaw watched as she kept failing, frustration curling in her claws. "Ah, this is impossible!"

"No, your just not focusing, something's bothering you."

"So what?" she growled.

"What's going on?"

"Sorrelbreeze!" she spat. "She's still grieving over Fallengaze and acting so weak, she won't even hunt anymore."

"Hmpf, she sounds like a pathetic cat all right, almost half-dead."

"Yeah, and it's really getting under my skin. She completely forgot about Rabbitpaw, Snakepaw and I. I don't think she loves us anymore," admitting the ugly truth hurt her more than she thought it would, like a needle to her heart.

"It's okay, that doesn't matter now. I'm here for you, and I promise I'll make you into the most distinguished warrior ever." Hawkpaw breathed in his musky odor, unclenching her jaw. She didn't need her mother anymore, she wasn't a kit, she was an independent cat who was steadily climbing up the ranks and growing stronger with each day. Her mother was foolish and pitiful, unlike herself.