Yao Wang grabbed Wei Ying even as his hand reached out to touch Lan Zhan...but it was too late.

Everything vanished before him and all he could hear was a low chuckle in his ear, full of malice.

"Do you know how long I have waited for this day?" Yao Wang said, his face twisting into something resembling hatred and satisfaction. "Too long...and yet you say you do not remember anything?" He stared at Wei Ying with disbelief.

Wei Ying could not look away, the intensity of red eyes burrowing into his very soul, the pull too strong for him to stop.

"Well, allow me to refresh your memory." Yao Wang placed a single talon on his forehead.

Immediately Wei Ying was transported back in time. There right in front of him, that terrible moment on Qiong Qi way, the ambush that would forever change his life. He could see himself standing next to Wen Ning, when he caught that first arrow, and the incredulous looks on both of their faces, that someone had dared to attack the Yiling Patriarch and the Ghost General.

That it was such an underhanded thing to do, before the false accusations flew from stupid lips manipulated to believe suggestive lies.

Jin Zixun, the cousin of the Peacock, mouthy, rude and of arrogant disposition, wouldn't listen to anything Wei Ying tried to tell him. And even as Wen Ning defended him from all those cultivators out for blood, the sound of the Second flute, the changed orders, and Wei Ying was reliving it all over and over again.

The Peacock suddenly arriving and defending him, the Yiling Patriarch, for now, just a brother in law, same as Jiang Cheng. Wei Ying could never forget how Jin ZiXuan had stood up against his own family for Wei Ying. Lasting only mere seconds, but it meant something.

Seconds before a wide and gaping hole burst through his chest as his heart was pulled out. The surprise on his face as he struggled to finish his sentence, telling him that his sister was waiting for him back in JinLinTai. Wei Ying had been numb with shock, no longer able to think, as Wen Ning finished off the other Jin standing before his master.

And all the while, a haunting melody played along.

And then Wen Qing and Wen Ning, speaking in low voices, taking decisions that were hopeless, a stupid attempt to thwart fate, a path that they were destined to walk upon, and no amount of trying to cheat it could alter what was going to happen anyway.

Wei Ying could feel his heart breaking over and over again, the thought that what was his Shijie going to do now? She must hate him, must.

The sole reason for her misery.

He hated himself right now...no. Hate wasn't a strong enough word, not when he loathed himself and Wen Ning. Not when he regretted bringing back his friend and Soul Brother. When he had woken up, he hoped against hope that it had been a nightmare, that he would wake up and everything would be all right, his Shijie would be a happily married wife and mother, that their child would still have a father, because Jin ZiXuan would still be alive.

He remembered kicking Wen Ning.

Oh...how much did he hate himself now?

And then, as Wen Qing paralysed him, explaining in that calm, sure way of hers, with a soothing voice, telling him they would offer themselves up as payment so that he, Wei WuXian could be saved. Her words like venom, sinking under his skin penetrating straight to his heart, the poison spreading through his every vein, while he struggled with useless words to tell her no, to please...please...please...not leave him. To not leave their home, their life.

How could she? How could he let her?

And then waking up three days later, his body still not recovered, weak with fever, and hearing a small voice.

A-Yuan.

His beautiful baby boy.

His love.

Hiding him within that tree stump and hoping that that someone kind would find him. Having to leave his baby boy there, all alone, while he went to fix all the problems by himself. Walking away was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Ending up in Lanling.

The Peacock's mother accidentally spotting him hiding behind some shrubbery outside their ancestral Chambers, listening to the heartfelt crying of his sister as she tried to be strong, when it was all HIS fault.

The hatred and pain in her eyes too, for Jin ZiXuan had been her only son. Now she had to bear the pain of so many mothers, a pain that no parent wished upon another. The death of a child, no matter how old, was a pain like a diamond shard piercing her heart. How could she face her son’s killer? How could he face her?

So she shouted, alerting the guards, and Wei Ying could not stop himself from leaving, tears of guilt and pain burning his eyes, already red and strained. Scorching his face, those tears fell on the ground, but it was not enough.

It would never be enough.

And then, at Nightless City.

The greedy cultivators baying for his blood, with their unfair criticism of his actions, swimming in envy and trying to justify what they were about to do.

The attack upon him, and the accusations aimed at him, did they think that it didn't hurt just as much as that arrow fired by the most naive of disciples?

Their words were like a brand, like the one on his chest, the one he received for saving Mianmian. Forever tattooed inside his mind, their hatred carving out each character with precision, so he would never be able to forget.

And then, Lan Zhan came.

This one moment of clarity, when he tried to explain, that things had changed.

But Wei Ying couldn’t listen, wouldn't listen...not until he heard that precious voice. One his ears longed to hear, one he would never tire of listening to.

Shijie.

Why was she here?

It didn't make sense.

And now he listened to Lan Zhan, ignoring everything that he felt for him, not understanding what it was, and focusing on his sister. His sister, because she was somewhere here, somewhere that she shouldn't be, and he had to find her.

But he was too late.

Again.

First his Wen family.

And now his sister.

She was cut on her back, a slash made by the sharpest of swords and if that wasn't bad enough, she pushed him out of the way, saved him, the one she should be hating...but somehow...never did, and gave up her life for him.

Everything went to hell then.

He lost the will to live.

Madness surrounded him, as the cultivators surrounded him, bickering for the Stygian Tiger Amulet, just a thing, in comparison to the life he had just lost.

His heart...what heart?? It was no longer there, where it was supposed to be. It was lying on the ground, a sword lancing through it, shattering it beyond recognition.

It would all be better if he was dead.

He remembered thinking that, and then letting himself go.

The relief of falling away, of no longer having to remember this life, the pain outweighing any joy he might have experienced, for if they could be tallied, he was sure the bad parts would be hitting the ground.

But Lan Zhan saved him.

That single moment of joy, that he could look upon that beautiful face one more time.

One last look.

However, Jiang Cheng had other ideas. His face full of pain, blaming him for his sister’s death, and for once, Wei Ying agreed with him. He could not live, and he could not have Lan Zhan, because that would mean he was worthy of something good, something wholesome, something right.

Wei Ying had to let him go.

When Jiang Cheng thrust Sandu into the ledge, cracks appeared at an alarming rate. And Wei Ying was sure, like never before, sure that he wanted Lan Zhan to live.

If Lan Zhan lived, Wei Ying could accept anything.

Even death.

So he flung away from his love, let go of his life and fell.

Here.

The tenth level of Hell.

Reserved for the worst of the sinners.

Those who killed themselves, because how dare they look for some kind of relief from their lives? Especially when they were supposed to be punished?

Suicide was a curse, one that did not end with the death of the body, because make no mistake, the soul lived on.

Wei Ying was proof of that.

Now, he turned and faced this place, really looked at his surroundings.

He remembered staying here, filled with resentment, no joy left in his meagre existence.

But then, it started again.

He was on Qiong Qi way. With Wen Ning.

It was a loop.

Of all his suffering. The things he most regretted. His most painful moments, bare and open wounds upon which the cruelest acid of remembrance was poured, scathing him again and again.

Somewhere in this deep, dark place with no light, he heard a voice.

It called out to him, and for just a second, he felt the relief of peace filling his mind.

Lan Zhan.

Calling out to him.

Playing Inquiry.

Trying to find him.

Trying to find his soul.

Relentless and sure.

As long as he could think of Lan Zhan, it kept these other fears away, banishing them with the bright light that was his husband.

He remembered their song, the notes playing by themselves in his mind, and his hand went unconsciously to Chenqing. The cold metal feeling as he placed the flute against his lips, and imagined kissing his husband with same reverence, the same devotion that flooded out of him.

He could feel the black whispering of resentment energy seep from his body, floating him up upon its waves as he countered the effects.

For this was the Yiling Patriarch.

This was Wei Ying, Wei WuXian, the Founder of Demonic Cultivation.

He could control it because it could not touch his now white core. White because it was immortal, white because of his husband,  white because their love was pure.

And he knew without a doubt now, that nothing could touch him ever, as long as he realised that nothing else mattered.

The events of the past were just that.

Passed.

He could finally let go of self blame.

Until now, he had not realised that small whispering feelers had clung onto his subconscious, trapping these guilty emotions and imprisoning his joy. But now, being here, he could clearly see that it was not his fault. Not his.

Other people had instigated these actions, and while he had known all this, he had not accepted it.

Now, this white energy grew, encompassing his mind and flowing from him like a laser, calling out to his other half.

Lan Zhan would feel it.

Lan Zhan would come.

******

A/N

Hi everyone.

This was one tough chapter to write.

But absolutely necessary, because now Wei Ying is free.

I got through it without a single piece of chocolate, and it was my own self inflicted punishment for putting you guys through this.

Hopefully, we have passed the worst of it.