Thomas’s POV

“Lily!”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?” I breathed, running over to her with a relieved breath. I thought somebody had taken her or something while I was in the store, but she was just around the corner, which was a major relief.

“Oh, sorry, Tommy.” She muttered meekly, her eyes meeting the grass below her feet. “I was just watching them dance.” She added in a whisper, pointing to a group of college girls that were doing what looked like ballet in the park across the street from the gas station that I had just went into to get some food and stuff. I had to leave Lily outside because I was positive that the gas station worker would recognize her from the news reports and the Amber Alerts that have been plastered all over America for the past three months.

“Okay, well we gotta go now, Lil.” I told her apologetically. She didn’t get to sit down and enjoy life and what it can offer all that much, and I felt bad for tearing her away from this one moment that she seemed to enjoy watching those girls dancing.

She nodded with a small frown. “Do you think I can be a ballerina someday, Tommy?” Lily asked, taking my hand in hers as we walked down the sidewalk of the small town that we had been staying in. The officers were looking for Lily in Arizona, where she had lived before, so we were now staying in a small town in Pennsylvania, a little far away from Pittsburgh. It was as far away from Arizona that I could get her before the police had figured out my plan to go east, and cut off all highways. I’m sure we could continue going east now, they have probably given up the search for her, but I’d met a guy in Pittsburgh who knew a guy I knew from Arizona, and he helped watch Lily while I went to get supplies and  stuff. He also helped me get a few gigs for cash. They were dangerous drug deals, but as long as Lily was safe, I could run a few errands and get a few hundred bucks for it. I needed any money that I could get right then for food for Lily.

“You can be anything you want to be, Lil.” I assured her with a small smile. That’s why I’ve done everything that I’ve done- so that Lily can have a good life once she’s grown. Eventually, she can go to school and she’ll learn like a normal kid her age.

I’ve been trying to teach her some stuff while we’re living out of the car, but it’s hard. She was seven and I didn’t know how to teach a little girl, but I knew that I had to teach her whatever I could because if I enrolled her in school, they’d obviously find her and return her to Arizona.

“What about a robot?” Lily giggled as we crossed the last road to get to the car that was parked in a hidden parking lot a few blocks away from the gas station and I had just bought a new set of hair dye. I know that I was really destroying her hair, but I also knew that if her hair color didn’t change frequently, then they would find her. People were so simple minded, if the hair color didn’t match then they wouldn’t make the connection between the little girl by my side and the Lily Adams that went missing three months ago from Arizona. In fact, I’m sure most people have forgotten about the missing little seven year old girl by now, which is good, but I still am not taking any risks.

“Do we have to?” Lilly whined when she saw the hair dye as she clambered into the back seat of the junker car that I’d ‘found’ in Arizona. “This stuff stinks, I don’t like it.”

“I know.” I sighed, starting the car - that resembled a zombie more than a car- out of the small town and towards an abandoned barn just outside of the small town. “But not tonight, we’ll go see Kev tomorrow.”

“I love Kev!” Lily cheered with a small giggle. I smiled at that, but she confused me so much when she giggled like that. She’s seven years old, but she’s already been through so much in her life, I had no idea who she could laugh or smile or even get through a single day without falling apart. When she was two, our parents had died in a house fire and then we were sent to live with foster homes after foster homes until I was fifteen and Lilly was four, we found a stable home that didn’t send us away. However, Mr. Adams, was a drunk. He abused Mrs. Adams almost daily and when he was really mad, he’d go for me. I’d fight him off, but most of the time it wouldn’t work, I mean, I was only fifteen. However, I’d gladly take the blows instead of letting him hurt Lily. I would never let him lay a hand on Lily. And then, when I turned eighteen, they kicked me out, of course, and I wasn’t there to protect her anymore. So I picked her up after a day at school and we were gone. I’d do anything to keep my baby sister safe, even if the police are after me for kidnapping, she’d be safer with me than she would with that family.

“I know that you love Kev.” I laughed. Kevin was the guy that I’d met in Pittsburgh. He’s a really good friend and he has all the wrong connections with gang members and drug dealers and even a few bad cops. I have no idea why, or how, he got into the drugs and the illegal things that he’s into, due to how much of a good guy he is, but I don’t question it. He technically lives with his mother in some crappy neighborhood in Pittsburgh, but his mother is always cracked out, so she never knows or cares what her son is getting into.

“We can see Kev tomorrow?” Lily asked excitedly.

I nodded as I parked at the barn where we parked every night to sleep. Kevin had invited me to move in with him a few times, but I decline, knowing that the neighborhood that he lives in is nowhere near safe. I didn’t care about me, but it wasn’t safe for Lily. “Yeah, we’ll see Kev tomorrow.” I assured her. We both got out of the car and I pulled our dinner out of the stuff I’d gotten at the gas station. Yesterday, I went on a drug run, so I actually used money today. Most of the time, I’d keep Lily either here, at the barn, or with Kev while I hit up a Wal-Mart or something that was easy to steal from because we really had no money.

“What’s for dinner, Tommy?” Lily asked, walking into the shell of a barn. It was decaying and the only thing that the barn was good for was some open shelter, so if it was raining, it still had a roof- it was ridden with holes, but if you stood in the right spots, you could stay dry. That small junker of a car gets claustrophobic at times, so having dinner in the barn was just nice sometimes.

“I got your favorite.” I smiled at her as we sat down in the two metal chairs that I’d found leaning against the barn walls when I discovered this barn. They were creaky, old, and rusty, but they weren’t falling apart yet. Kevin had also given us a small table to put in the barn so that we could eat inside.

That night was warm and there was no rain, so we didn’t have to watch out for the holes in the cruddy roof, we just sat down and enjoyed the view of the field and abandoned barn. “Hot dogs?” She squealed with excitement.

I nodded and held up a small pack of hotdogs, buns, and those individually wrapped ketchups. “Hotdogs.” I confirmed.

We ate our dinner and then I played the car radio while I watched Lily dance around the large field with the grass up to her knees. She tried to spin on the tip of her toes like ballerinas do, but she’d topple over into the grass, giggle, and then try again. I soaked in her light laughter and I silently hoped, as I was leaning against the car and watching over my little sister, that she could laugh forever, and not have to see the terrible stuff that I’d seen to protect her. I hoped that she will never realize how shitty our situation is, because I don’t want her to forget to laugh like I had.

“Tommy?” Lily asked from a few meters away, her big blue eyes looking over at me from the field.

“Yeah, Lil?” I called back to her with my arms crossed with the breeze- I’d grown out of my last jacket and I spent the last bit of clothes money on a jacket for Lily, so all I had were old t-shirts. Which was fine, since summer was starting, so I’d be fine until fall.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” She asked me curiously. “All of the boys in the music sing about their girlfriends, why don’t you have one?”

I sighed and walked over to Lily and then crouched down to stand at her short height. “Because you’re my only girl.” I told her with a small smile. I couldn’t tell her that there was no way in hell that I was even considering dating. When I’m not with Lilly, I’m on a drug errand and on those runs, I’m only in contact with drug addicts, guys, and prostitutes. Besides the fact that most people know my name and my face, so who would be stupid enough to even talk to me? Everyone is afraid of me, and if they do recognize me, it’s very likely that they’ll call the cops.

“But I’m not your girlfriend.” She said.

I laughed. “No, you’re my sister.”

“But you need a girlfriend, to kiss and stuff.” She told me.

“No, I don’t need one of those,” I assured her. “Because it’s just you and me right now.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me in an unexpected hug. “I love you, Tommy.”

I smiled back and hugged her closely to me. “I love you too, Lil.”

The next day, I’d dyed her hair a dark brown in Kevin’s stinky bathroom and, when it was done, I dried her hair and sent her into Kevin’s room where there was an Xbox. He had Sims, just for Lily, and she loved it.

“We’ll be in the living room, Lily.” I informed her from the doorway. Kevin had that look on his face that told me that he had news, and anytime he had news, I was going to keep it far away from her.

“Okay, Tommy. But hurry, because my mommy Sim is about to have her baby!”

“Alright.” I chuckled as I followed Kevin down the small hallway and then we sat down on his old, dirty couch. Usually, this is where his mother is passed out when she’s home, but she wasn’t home today. Sometimes, she likes to disappear at days a time, so I guess today was one of the days that she wasn’t home.

“We got a job tomorrow at noon.” He informed me once we were sitting down.

“We?” I questioned.

He nodded. “Gills, that’s the guy’s name. He wants a big load and he’s also a huge gang leader. So, you need backup.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

“But the pay from this guy is insane.” Kevin added.

I nodded. “Alright, where?”

“Just about thirty minutes south, that’s it.”

“Okay.” I muttered, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on in the living room to maybe get my mind off of everything for a minute.

“Want a drink?” Kevin offered.

I gave him a sarcastic smile. “With my sister down the hall?”

He shrugged and stood up from the couch. “I want a drink.” He walked into the grimy kitchen and returned with a half empty bottle of rum and took a large swig.

The day after that, we had to go half an hour south, me and Kevin, and there was no way that I was taking Lilly with us down there, but I couldn’t leave her at Kevin’s because his mother showed up the night before, and she was never going anywhere near Lily.

“Do I have to stay here?” Lilly whined as we sat in the abandoned barn.

I nodded with an apologetic frown. “Yeah, Lil, but we’ll be back by dinner, I swear it.”

“What am I going to do all by myself until dinner, Tommy?” She whined. “Can’t I just come with you?”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, girl, you can’t. Just stay in the barn and if you see a car, remember to hide. You have to hide from cars, Lil. I’m leaving you a blanket, some snacks, and a few things that I got from the mall the other day.”

Lilly looked down at the Barbie, baby doll, crayons, and coloring book that was stacked beside the large blanket and Cheetos, her favorite. “You stole that stuff, Tommy.”

I frowned when I heard her say that- I didn’t want her to know things like that. I don’t want her to grow up and know that I stole things like food, clothes, and toys, because I think that when she gets older, all she’ll remember is that I’m a thief, not that I only stole for her, and she’d hate me. “We’re just borrowing.” I responded, kissing her forehead and pulling her in to me tightly. “Be safe, Lil. I love you.”

She hugged me back. “I love you too, Tommy.”

I gave her one last goodbye before leaving the old barn and hurrying towards where Kevin was waiting for me in the car. I can’t believe that I was leaving my seven year old sister alone in the middle of nowhere like that, but I really had no choice. I needed the money and if anybody saw her in public, she’d be shipped back to Arizona, so she had to stay in the barn.

The job was fairly easy. The Gills guy took his drugs- a mix of a lot of heavy duty drugs that would really mess a person up- and then we were gone. I mean, one of his members had a drunken temper that started a small fight between four drunk gang members and me and Kevin. I got a cut lip and Kev had a black eye, but nothing serious.

“I didn’t need backup.” I mumbled on our way home.

“Dude, four against one?” He asked with raised eyebrows. “You would have gotten your ass kicked.”

“They were drunk and stupid, either one of us could have taken them on single handedly.” I informed him, turning the radio on, only to be greeted by a news lady, telling people that Thomas Jackals was a kidnapper, kidnapping his little sister, Lilly Adams (Mr. and Mrs. Adams got her last name changed, I don’t know why). They also informed the public that I was a thief- I only steal things to live off of, to keep Lilly safe and as happy as possible, it’s not like I’ve stolen diamonds or anything like that. They made it sound like I’m a dangerous person, but I’m not. I’ve never hurt or threatened anybody who hasn’t threatened my sister or me, and sometimes I’ll go to those measures to protect Kevin.

After they were done warning the public about my existence, a gossiping DJ went on to talk about a chick named Valerie Brikers, but I didn’t know who that was.

“Dude, that bitch is hot.” Kevin said with a grin, pointing to the radio.

“Who is?” I questioned.

“That Valerie chick. She’s such a bitch, but she’s hot.” He informed me.

I frowned in confusion. “How do you know?”

“Unlike you, I actually go to school. She was a senior at my school last year.” He explained. “Her sister is hot too, she’s a junior.”

“So you’re stalking the fashion designer’s family now?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

“What fashion designer?”

I nudged towards the stereo. “They just said that her mom is a fashion designer.”

“That’s not why I know who she is.” He shrugged. “I just know that she’s crazy hot and so is her sister.”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes as we turned onto the road that the barn was located on. When I laid eyes on the barn, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach when I saw a vehicle in front of the barn. It wasn’t just any kind of car, though. It was a Honda Civic with Arizona license plates. I knew that car, it was Mr. Adams.

“Go!” I yelled at Kevin just as he floored the car up the road to the barn. My blood was already pumping with so many emotions I can’t even list them all, so I won’t even try.

We both sprang out of the car at the same time- Kevin didn’t know who’s car that was, but he knew that something was wrong because, other than my car, no other vehicle should be out there.

“TOMMY!” I heard a shrill cry coming from inside of the barn. No doubt, it came from my baby sister.

“Lily!” I screamed back just as both me and Kevin bolted into the barn. Once we got inside, I looked around, but I didn’t see any signs of either Lily or that bastard of a guy, Mr. Adams. I can’t explain how much I hated that man, even before that day, I wouldn’t mind putting a bullet in his head.

Finally, I looked up and I saw that both Lilly and Mr. Adams were up on the second level of the barn that was all but gone. There was an outer balcony type of thing above the first floor, so it wasn’t even a second floor, but they were both on a wooden ledge that jutted out of the wall about three feet. We never go up there because it’s so unsteady and I was sure it was going to cave at any second, especially with both Lilly and that fat piece of shit up there at the same time.

Before I could utter a word, Mr. Adams grinned. “Thomas, such a nice surprise.”

Lily was crying as Mr. Adams hugged her close to him by her bicep, not letting her go, and he practically had her over the ledge. “Tommy, I’m scared.” She whimpered between soft sobs.

“No, don’t be scared, sweetie.” Mr. Adams crooned, taking a step and making the boards beneath them creak, causing me to flinch, but they didn’t fall through. “We’re going to go home now, where you belong.”

“Lily, it’s okay.” Kevin was speaking to Lilly as I was yelling at Mr. Adams. “Don’t be afraid, we’ll get you down, everything will be okay.”

“Let her go, you damn bastard!” I roared at him. “I swear to god, I’m going to rip you apart myself!”

“Oh, are you?” He asked with a taunting laugh. “That’s going to be impossible when we’re in Arizona, living our happy lives, and you’re rotting in prison, little boy.”

“Let her go, damn it!” I repeated angrily.

Mr. Adams shrugged. “Well, I mean… okay, if that’s what you want.” Before I could register what was happening, Mr. Adams yanked on Lilly’s arm, pushing her forward and topping off of the side of the second story balcony-type thing. I leapt forward, along with Kevin, to attempt to catch her, but it was useless, after letting out a shrill shriek, she had already hit the ground below with a loud thud before I could make it to her.

I ran to her, she was breathing, but her arm was twisted in a way that it shouldn’t be and she was unconscious. I was about to pick up her limp body, but Kevin stopped me.

“Let me take her.” He insisted with a strong hand on my shoulder. “They’ll arrest you at the door if you take her to the hospital. I’ll claim that I found her on the side of the street or something.”

I nodded with lump forming in my throat, even though I hated leaving Lily when she was so hurt. I helped Kevin pick up Lily’s limp body as gently as he could and then he was gone.

“She’ll be okay, Thomas.” Kevin assured me before leaving the barn.

It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, watch Kevin take away Lily when I had no idea if she was okay or not. I didn’t even know if she was going to live through that fall or if it was just a broken arm. But I knew that I couldn’t go with them, because right when they got to the hospital, they’d recognize her and then they’d recognize me and that wouldn’t help anybody. The only thing I could feel once Kevin had sped down the street was white hot rage.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” I growled at Mr. Adams as he stumbled down the creaky staircase that led to the balcony that he was previously standing on.

The man smirked. “I’d like to see you try, little boy.”

Well, I tried. I threw a punch to his face and then another and another and another until he was bloody and then I kept going. He tried to fight back, but he was too drunk to even hit me. I heard him begging for me to stop, I listened to him crying for his life when he realized that I was serious about ending his life. The only thing I could see was Lilly’s twisted body at the bottom of that balcony thing and I just kept hitting him. I hit him and I hit him and when I couldn’t feel my fists anymore, I kicked him. I kicked and then I hit him, and then I’d go to kicking him again. I don’t know how long I was punching him and kicking him before I stopped, but he was way past dead when I did. I don’t regret it, and I never will. And if I go to jail for it, it was worth it. But I will never forget the feel of feeling his life draining from his body. He was a piece of shit and he deserved it, but that feeling just haunts you, you know?

I left the barn, trying not to leave any evidence, but it was messy, so they obviously found out who did it, but I kept running. I packed everything up and made my way to Kevin’s house. When he got back from the hospital that night, he informed me that Lilly had severe injuries, but she wasn’t dead. However, she was in the ICU and wouldn’t be coming out for a while. She was in a coma and he said that the doctors don’t think that she’ll wake up.

I told him what I’d done to Mr. Adams and then he said that I could stay with him, and that’s what I did.

Well, that’s what I had done… until I met you.