Chapter Twenty Nine - Guilty

People cry for different reasons. Guilt, pain, anger, happiness, greed, jealously and fear.

You know that moment when you're hurting so much that the pain becomes unbearable, it's when you go into these depths of tranquility.

Numbness.

You just can't feel anything anymore.

That is exactly how I was feeling.

Alec's face from the morning when he was approaching me and I let the elevators close kept flashing infront of me. I wish I stayed.

I just wish I had talked to him. Maybe stopped him from going to work.

Anything, just anything.

"Scarlet? Are you listening to me?"

A voice interrupted and I turned towards Nicole quickly.

"What-what happened? Did Walter call back? Is Alec okay?"

A look of sympathy crossed her face. "Walter hasn't called back but we'll be at the hospital in five minutes. Try to hold yourself together. He's going to be fine."

How do you know that? I wanted to say but didn't--couldn't because of the lump in my throat.

With a nod, I wiped my tears away and looked at the road impatiently, then down at my phone which was trying to reach Alec's number in hopes that someone would pick up this time.

Nicole took a sharp right and within minutes, the car was parked outside the hospital. I jumped out of my seat and ran towards the entrance.

My heart was pounding loudly as the elevators went up to Alec's floor.

I ran down the corridor as fast as my feet could take me unless I saw a familiar face.

"How is he, Walter? Where is he?" I asked in a hurry, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks again.

"See for yourself," He muttered, getting up to walk towards the door.

I held my breath as he opened it for me.

"Alec," My voice broke into a muffled sob at the sight of him on the bed, his left shoulder covered up in bandage.

He looked up at me.

"I'm okay. Relax."

I didn't know why I suddenly fell in love with his voice.

Before I could process, I had lurched forward and thrown my arms around him, but only pulled back when he hissed out in pain.

"I-I'm sorry. D-did I hurt you?" I stepped away from him.

"No no. I'm fine. Relax."

"I'm sorry I'll just call a doctor," I muttered more to myself as I quickly turned around but he grabbed my hand.

"I'm fine, Scarlet."

"No," I snapped at him. "You're not fine. You've been shot. How are you even awake? Is it not hurting-"

"Will you please sit down for a moment?" He raised his voice a notch.

My lip quivered as I wanted to say more but couldn't because of the lump in my throat.

His hand pulled me forward and I found myself sitting beside him on the bed, as he wiped my tears.

"I'm okay."

A sob escaped my lips as I took his hand in mine and brought it up to my lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It was just a bullet graze."

Oh thank God.

I let out a breath. "You freaked me out."

"I sure did," I could sense the smile in his voice but I kept my head down, against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

He was alive.

He was okay.

I wasn't dreaming.

God, if something would have happened to him. I found myself shivering at the thought.

Finally, I looked up at him to find his gaze already fixed on me.

"Who did this to you?"

"I don't know yet but the investigation is on."

I hope they find that person soon. Because I'm definitely going to skin him alive whenever I get my hands on him.

"Where were you, Alec when all this took place?" I asked hesitantly.

"I was outside my office building, talking to Walter. Let's just say that I am alive because he was with me."

"Is it because he brought you here?"

"Yeah he didn't wait for the ambulance. And...." He trailed off.

"And?"

His eyes locked with mine. "The shooter was actually aiming for my heart but got my shoulder because I ducked down to Walter's warning."

I bit my quivering lip as a chill ran down my spine. All this happens moments after I get that last note.

"This is all my fault."

He frowned. "What? No it's no-"

"It is," I cut him off. "I-I've been receiving these warning notes and I thought it was a prank. Oh God. I'm so sorry, Alec. This is all my fault. I should have told you about them-"

"I don't understand anything, Scarlet."

I took in a deep breath. "I'll show you."

I almost got up but remembered that I left my backpack in my car at the restaurant and came here in Nicole's car.

"I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" He asked in confusion.

"I need to go back to the restaurant me and Nicole were having lunch in."

"What? No. It's not safe. You're not going anywhere alone," He almost struggled to get out of the bed to stop me but I quickly went over to him.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry. You're right. But that's evidence and it could help the cops."

"I'll inform the cops and they'll take care of it."

Realizing that he was right, I nodded and let out a breath, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion.

Just then, the door swung open and Walter walked in with a cup of coffee, bringing it to me.

I lifted my head up from Alec's chest.

"Walter, thank you so much for everything you did today," I spoke.

"Come on. Don't thank me for saving my own brother," He waved his hand dismissively.

I offered him a smile and took a sip of the coffee when a thought crossed my mind.

"Did you see the shooter's face?" I asked out of nowhere.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"I mean you warned Alec. You must have seem someone aiming at him."

"No. I saw this laser beam on his chest. First, I thought it was a kid doing some tricks but when I saw no devil around, I thought I'd warn him and I'm glad I did."

I nodded at him with the most grateful smile I could pull off at the moment. "Thank you."

"Anytime," He winked at me and left the room.

"Well," Alec sighed. "He saved my life. Wouldn't kick his ass on the same day."

A laugh escaped my lips and I turned to him.

"Is that jealousy?" I muttered.

"Over a wink? Please," He rolled his eyes and I burst out laughing.

"Atleast I'm not planning to pick out clothes with him for you like you did with Nicole," I reminded.

"I sort of have to bond with Nicole. So do you."

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

"She's my brother's fiancée."

My jaw dropped open. "Walter and Nicole?"

"Yes," He nodded.

"Whoa. That's news to me."

"They're going to announce it at a party next week. That's what we were discussing in the morning when-" He stopped abruptly when my smile vanished.

Alec heaved a long sigh and scowled down at himself. "The last thing I pictured this morning was this hospital bed."

"Seriously?" I raised a brow. "With the way you drive?"

Then bit my lip to stop a smile when he narrowed his eyes for a moment trying to hide the amusement behind them but failed miserably as he let out a laugh.

I didn't know what came over me when I leaned closer and kissed him.

For the first time, I could feel him smiling against my lips as he brought his hand up to my cheek.

"Ow shit," He cursed, his hand going up to his left shoulder.

My eyes grew wide. "What? What did I do? I'm sorry I'll just call a doctor-"

"You didn't do anything. I'm just not supposed to move my left arm so much," He shifted on the bed.

"Should I call a doctor? Are you okay?"

"I'm good."

"Why don't they give you that hand support pouch that goes around the other shoulder?"

"They were going to. I asked them not to."

I raised a brow at him. "Why?"

"Because I don't like it."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Mr. Alec Sinclair, it is something you need to recover faster because it keeps your arm in place."

"The doctors said it'll do without that thing too," He shrugged.

"They did? Or did you order them around or something?"

He raised a brow at me. "Do you think I run this hospital, Scarlet?"

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He was right.

I swallowed before asking him something else. "How bad is the wound?"

"Pretty bad," He scrunched his nose up.

Once again, the door swung open and a nurse came walking in with a tray. She was a middle aged woman with a tall frame and sleek body.

"Medicine time," She sang it like a nursery rhyme, then cleared her throat a moment later.

"Excuse me. I've been working at the kids ward lately," Then her eyes landed on me and she told me to get off the bed.

"Oh. Sure," I said, sliding my feet off the bed and taking the stool.

Alec's eyes narrowed for a moment.

"You've been very lucky that the bullet didn't cause an infection," She said to Alec and he nodded at her. "Undoubtedly."

As she handed the medicine to him, I offered her a smile which she returned politely and once done, left the room.

Alec turned to me and pointed to the spot on the bed beside him. "You can get back on if you want."

My heart skipped a beat. He wanted me by his side.

I got up to walk over to him but my phone rang and I looked down at the contact.

Lily.

"I'll be right back," He nodded and I went out of the room to take the call.

"Hello."

"Scar? Are you okay? Is Alec okay? How are you holding up? You've been crying, haven't you? I can tell by your voice."

"Lily...I'm okay," I spoke in confusion. "And Alec's fine now. But how did you know?"

"Are you kidding me? It's all over the news. I just saw it and called you. The papzz surrounded the hospital the moment the news broke out."

"Oh," Of course it was all over the news. It's Alec Sinclair.

"Thanks for calling, Lily. He's okay now. It was just a graze."

"That's great-I mean not great of course. I mean I'm just glad he's okay. How are you, Scarlet?"

"I'm okay too. I'm actually so happy to see him alright."

"Aw, Scar. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there with you. I really wanted to come but I recently started a job as a babysitter and I don't wanna give Betty another reason to say I'm good at backing out."

"It's okay, Lily. Don't worry about it," I smiled.

"Alright. Take care of yourself."

"You too, Lil. Bye," I hung up.

"Scarlet?"

I turned around to a voice. I had been pretty good since the past few minutes but the moment I saw him, I felt emotional once again.

"Dad," I muttered as he pulled me in his arms.

"How is Alec?"

"He's okay. Thankfully, the bullet just grazed his shoulder."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier. I came the moment I saw it on TV and it was almost impossible to get past those reporters outside the hospital."

I pulled back and gave him a smile. "I'm just glad you're here now. Where's Jimmy?"

"He was pretty shook when he saw the news and was begging me to let him come here but I didn't."

"You did the right thing," I nodded.

"Can I see Alec? Or is he resting?"

"I think you can," I nodded and started guiding him to the room but something from the end of the corridor caught my eye.

"Dad, you can go on in. I'll be with you guys shortly."

Dad nodded and went into the room while I started towards the end of the corridor. When he saw me, he turned a corner and increased his pace.

"Jeremy, wait," I called.

He paused in his tracks and turned around, guilt clouding his entire frame, his shoulders slumped down in defeat and frown lines visible on his forehead.

"I'm sorry," He muttered.

"What's wrong? What are you sorry for?"

"I couldn't be a good bodyguard to Mr. Sinclair. I couldn't do my job well," He sighed.

I didn't know he was Alec's bodyguard.

"Hey. Don't say that. It's not your fault. You didn't know."

He shook his head. "Of course I didn't. No one ever knows but it was expected of me to prevent something like that. I should've been more alert."

"Jeremy, you shouldn't feel guilty about anything."

"It's just that he's always been so nice. So considerate towards my family, helped me in so many ways that I can't even count anymore. And I......I had one job and I couldn't do it. I deserve to be fired."

"No, Jeremy, I don't think Alec would do that."

"Yeah. He didn't," He spoke. "And that just brings even more guilt."

I took in a deep breath. "Jeremy, things could have been worse. Atleast he's alive."

At this, a weak smile appeared on his face. "It's funny how Mr. Sinclair had the exact same words a while ago."

He did?

I gave him a small tap on his shoulder. "Don't think too much about it. After all, if you weren't good at your job, Alec wouldn't have given you another chance and you know it."

He nodded with a little smile tugging at his lips. "Thank you."

I gave him a smile. "No problem at all, Jeremy."

Then turned around to go back to Alec's room. Nicole was stepping out.

"Nicole, where were you?" I asked, remembering that I had come here with her and she just disappeared.

"Me and Walter just wanted to give you guys some time alone," She gave me a warm smile. "Are you okay, Scarlet? Like really okay?"

"Yes," I nodded. "After seeing him, I'm more than okay."

"I'm so glad he's fine," She stepped forward and gave me a brief hug. "I'll have to leave now."

"Thank you for all the help."

"You don't have to thank me, Scarlet," She let out a laugh.

"Oh and congratulations to you and Walter on getting engaged," I smiled.

A blush formed on her cheeks as her hand went up to her chest. "Thank you."

I chuckled and waved her goodbye. I didn't like her a day ago.

I swung the door open and instantly frowned when I saw Alec talking on a phone.

"Of course, bud," He chuckled.

I raised a brow at dad. How could he let Alec talk on the phone? As far as I knew, patients weren't allowed to, right?

"It's Jimmy," He shrugged. "He wouldn't stop calling and Alec insisted."

"Nope. Doesn't pain my fingers though. I can beat your a-" He looked up at me. "I can beat you at that game easily."

A smile formed on my lips.

"Alright. Of course you'll see me soon....yeah goodnight," He hung up and gave the phone back to dad.

"That kid," Dad muttered and then turned to me.

"Let's go?"

"Go wher-"

"Call me whenever you get there," Alec spoke. "And Jeremy is going with you. It'll be safe-"

"Hold on," I cut him off. "Where am I going?"

"I can't send you back to the apartment. You're going to be alone there and it's not safe. It's better you go home with your father."

"Alec," I blinked at him. "What makes you think I'm going anywhere?"

He looked at me in confusion. "It's late, Scarlet. What are you going to do here?"

"I'm going to stay with you. What else?"

"But-"

"I'm staying," I spoke dismissively and turned to dad.

"Alright," Dad raised up his hands in surrender and walked towards the door.

"Take care," He said to Alec.

"You too, Mr. Price," He nodded.

"Call me whenever you get home, dad. Goodnight."

"Night," He slipped out of the doors and I took in a deep breath before turning around.

"Long day huh?"

He shook his head at me, rolling his eyes. "You're stubborn."

"That makes the two of us," I shrugged.

Clearing my throat, I walked over to him and sat down on the stool, placing my hand over his.

He looked down at me.

"I'm sorry, Alec," I muttered. "For all the things I did in these past few days. For accusing you of things when you weren't at fault. For not listening to you. And for about everything. Every trouble that I have ever caused you."

I let out a breath. "The thing is that I wanted to talk to you this morning but I didn't know what to say about my wardrobe in......your room. And I know that if something would have happened to you, I would never stop regretting the moment when I let those elevators shut this morning."

I licked my lips. "And I'm feeling so guilty about those warning notes already. It's like it's all my fault and I feel like I don't have it in me to leave you alone after what happened. I want--need to be with you."

My heart skipped a beat when he started rubbing circles on my hand, leaving tingles wherever he touched.

"Is that the only reason why you wanna stay with me? Because you're guilty?" He asked discreetly almost like he knew the answer to that question already.

Well there were other reasons.

Like the fact that I had fallen for him.

But he didn't need to know that yet. I couldn't risk him pushing me away.

I couldn't risk losing him again.

I swallowed before giving him a weak nod. "Yes. That's all."

He pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. "Okay."

I cleared my throat again. "Okay. You should probably rest now."

"You can sleep next to me," He spoke as I tucked him into the blanket, feeling his eyes on me.

"No I might hurt your shoulder in my sleep. It's better if I take the couch. Goodnight, Alec."

He gave me long look.

"Goodnight, Scarlet."

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