September 1995

When she awoke, the sun was high in the sky. Madam Pomfrey let her know that it was just before lunchtime.

"If you feel rested enough, you can return to class," the Matron informed her. Venus normally would have searched for any reason to skip class, but she knew she shouldn't give anyone in her class any more reason to be suspicious of her than they already would have.

Assuring Madam Pomfrey that she felt fine, she headed off down to the Great Hall for lunch. She was ravenously hungry, but waited around the corner until the lunch bell had rung and students began to pour into the hall before she entered.

She still managed to beat most of the Gryffindors there and was on her second helping of soup before Ginny and Mali arrived, sitting down across from her.

"Did you spend the night in the hospital wing?" Ginny asked as she began to ladle soup into her own bowl.

"Yeah, think it was a bug or something," said Venus. "I feel better now."

"You look awful," Mali said bluntly. "You sure you shouldn't still be in bed?"

"I'm fine," Venus said through a mouthful of bread.

"Looks like it's done nothing to stop your appetite," Mali remarked. "You know you're supposed to swallow your food right?"

Venus shrugged, "can you pass the coffee Gin?"

If not for the worried looks being shot down the table at her from Harry, Ron and Hermione it would have been a lunch like any other.

*

Ginny and Mali were planning to work on an essay for Muggle Studies that night. Venus went straight to bed. The coffee had helped her through the afternoon lessons, but she had still missed out on an entire night's sleep.

Because of this, she woke early the next morning, to find the common room deserted apart from Harry who was sitting at a table scribbling a letter. He looked up when she entered, moving his hand quickly to cover the parchment he was writing on.

"Writing love letters, are you Potter?" Venus asked.

Harry shot a furtive look around. "No, actually I'm writing to Sirius. He's got this mad idea that he needs to come charging back here because I told him my scar hurt. I'm telling him not to bother."

"That's a losing battle, he's already here," Venus crossed the common room and settled down on the chair across from Harry.

"What?" Harry blinked, "how do you know?"

"Saw him last night," Venus said. "He kept me company."

"He's here at Hogwarts?" Harry asked, "is he stupid?"

Venus shrugged, "probably."

Harry looked down at his half-written letter and sighed, screwing it up into a ball. "So you've been writing to him too then?"

"No," Venus admitted.

"So he just turned up?"

"I wouldn't have wanted him here if he'd asked," Venus shrugged.

"Are you upset with him?" Harry asked. "I was there, he did everything he could to pull Lupin off of you, it wasn't his fault."

"Doesn't really matter now does it? Not about that really."

Harry frowned. "Why haven't you been writing to him then? He's your dad."

"I don't care if he's my dad," said Venus. "I don't need one who abandoned me."

"He didn't do it on-"

"He didn't do it on purpose, I know. But he still did it, didn't he?" Venus raised an eyebrow at Harry. "Are we just going to talk about him all morning?"

Harry didn't seem to know what to say, he turned his quill around in his hands, staining his fingers with ink. Eventually he settled on words. "It's just that- well- if my parents were alive then I'd want to get to know them."

"We're different people Harry," sighed Venus. "If you want him then you're welcome to him, just don't involve me."

"Fine," Harry's voice was laced with disdain. "You clearly don't care about him getting caught. I'm going to write to him and tell him to get the hell out of Britain."

Venus yawned. "Do whatever you want, I won't stop you."

She pushed herself to her feet and walked away. She had been hoping to spend her morning lounging on the sofas, but instead, she returned to her old habit of wandering the halls of the castle.

"Venus?" She had dozed off in one of her old hiding spots behind a suit of armour where there was a very well hidden windowsill which had an excellent view of the lake. She was jolted awake by the sound of Ginny's voice.

"Oh hey Gin, what's up?"

"Hermione said you and Harry had an argument?" Ginny squished in behind the suit of armour sat on the other end of the window sill.

Venus snorted. "If Potter thinks that's what an argument is then he's never been in one. We had a disagreement."

"Which led to you storming off?" Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"I took the high road and left," Venus replied.

Ginny looked unconvinced. "Ron told me, you know, about what happened in the shack, Mali doesn't know though." Venus' heart started thudding harder. "Ron said that Harry's been writing to Sirus ever since. Why didn't you tell us? Is that why you've been... well acting strange?"

Venus felt some tension relax from her shoulders. For a horrible second, she thought that Ron Weasley had been mouthing off about her... condition. But she had almost forgotten that there were two life altering occurrences that night.

She shrugged, "something like that."

"Have you been writing to him too?" Ginny asked.

Venus shook her head. "Don't want to."

"So you're angry at Harry because you don't want him to write to Sirius?"

"What? No, Harry can do whatever he wants, I don't give a rat's arse."

"Then what?" Ginny asked, "I'm trying to understand Ve."

"I'm fine, it's fine." Venus waved her friend off and stared out across the grounds. For some reason, the Whomping Willow seemed like more of an eye sore than usual, its branches swinging wildly as it tried to fend off some birds.

"You're not," Ginny insisted. "I don't want to push you, but Mali and I have been talking. We can tell something's up, you're not yourself- whatever it is, we want to help-"

Venus fixed Ginny with a withering stare. "Drop it Gin."

Ginny dropped it.

*

October 1994

Mali and Ginny continued to walk on eggshells around Venus for the remainder of September, but neither girl tried to get Venus to speak about whatever was going on again. Perhaps that was because, for the rest of September nothing was going on. She felt fine, better than fine.

Like everyone else she was swept up by Mad-Eyed Moody's slightly eccentric classes and bogged down by the additional homework they were getting due to the extra classes they were taking. The whole school was also absorbed in a Triwizard Tournament frenzy, despite it being another full month until the other schools were set to arrive.

October was one of those months with two full moons. The first full moon fell on early in the month on a Saturday, which happened to be the first Hogsmeade trip. It was a good way to get rid of her excess energy and a good distraction from what was to come that evening. Venus, Ginny and Mali returned to the castle later that day laden with sweets and Zonko's purchases.

The three dumped their purchases in their dorm and made their way downstairs to sit in the common room. Venus still had more than an hour before she needed to go down to the Hospital Wing to meet Madam Pomfrey.

"Next time I want to go and see the Shrieking Shack," Mali said as she threw herself down in one of the best armchairs close to the fire. "Seamus Finnigan was telling me it's the most haunted building in Britain. Apparently some of the locals heard some noises at the start of September."

"You know it's not really haunted right?" Ginny pointed out. "Harry said that's where Professor Lupin spent full moons whilst he was at Hogwarts. Don't tell anyone I said that though, it's supposed to be a secret."

"That doesn't explain September though does it?" Mali pointed out. "Professor Lupin was old, maybe some ghosts moved in since he left Hogwarts? You were inside there right Ve, did it seem ghostly?"

"What?" Venus looked up from where she was making an origami swan with an abandoned scrap of parchment. "Oh, uh, no it didn't seem ghostly."

Venus didn't want to visit the Shrieking Shack any more than she had to and wanted the subject to change immediately. Luckily, Mali was easily distracted by the suggestion of a game of exploding snap. An hour later, Venus made a feeble excuse about her stomach hurting.

"Maybe you ate too many sweets?" Ginny suggested.

"Yeah that's probably it," Venus nodded. "Think I'll go and see Pomfrey anyway, see if she's got any of those anti nausea potions that she's willing to part with."

"It's time for dinner anyway," Mali glanced down at her watch. "Want us to go with you? We can stop by on the way to the Great Hall."

"No- I uh, it's fine. I'll see you guys later," Venus stammered. She darted off before either of her friends could say anything else.

As promised, Sirius was there again.

"Harry's angry at me for not telling you to fuck off back to wherever you were hiding," Venus told him.

Sirius laughed. His laugh was more similar to a bark than to a human's laugh. "I know, I got his letter. Self righteous isn't he? Just like his dad."

Venus shrugged, "I hardly know him. That was one of the first proper conversations we've ever had."

"But you're in the same house?" Sirius frowned.

"That doesn't mean we need to be best friends," said Venus. "Plus I spent most of my first year petrified and most of my second avoiding everyone, you know because the papers kept publishing things about Sirius Black being a mass murderer and I couldn't go anywhere without being followed by muttering."

Sirius' face darkened. "I'm sorry."

"I've told you, I don't want your apologies. Now if you still insist on staying, I think you should be a dog now. You're much more bearable in that form, far less obnoxious."

Sirius could have laughed, he would have laughed if it weren't for how horrible he still felt for everything he had put her through. Instead, he wordlessly transformed and stood vigil as Venus' bones reset themselves.

Her third full moon was the same as her second, except this time she managed to break her ribs and once again her shoulder did not click properly back into place. She wondered as she lay on the bed waiting for Pomfrey to come, reset her arm and treat her ribs. She wondered if she would ever be able to experience a transformation without Wolfsbane potion.

The bitter liquid was quickly becoming her least favourite thing in the whole world and she longed to be able to forget the pain of the transformation and the horror of being very much herself, but with the mind of a wolf. She thought it would be better if she could just lose herself completely to the animal instincts. She'd probably be able to have a bit of fun then.

--

Harry, Ron and Hermione being physically unable of restraining themselves from being worried about the girl they know is a werewolf even though they hardly know her. OOOP.

ALSO

Harry 'but your dad is alive?!' Potter just NOT understanding Venus 'I hate my father anyway' Black... that's rough buddy. And Sirius just like um... why don't you know Harry that well, I'll have you know that is your COUSIN. And Venus just like... um .... So?

Sirius learning about his daughter's traumatising life through snarky lore drops.... Oof. Venus needs therapy. Get this girl some therapy!

She still hates Wolfsbane sm tho ooft.