ALL IN THE DARK

Messalina rested her head in her hands, groaning loudly. She hid her face for a moment, allowing the glassiness from her eyes to fade and for the lump in her throat to dissolve. She couldn't believe Octavian would say something like that; he knew how she felt about her parents. Even if they were just mentioned she was at risk of not speaking for weeks. She never did truly get over their parents deaths. 

Footsteps smacked against the metal floor. In a heartbeat her hands were clutching her knives and her arm pulled back in the direction of the noise. 

Thor raised his arms in surrender, a gentle smile on his face. "Put the knives down, Lady Messalina. I do not intend to maim you." 

Her face flushed, and she found her eyes quickly dancing away. She slid the knives back into their holsters, mumbling a quick apology. Her voice was thick and it hurt to talk - the lump hadn't completely dissolved yet. 

"May I join you?" Thor gestured to the empty space next to her on the cold floor. She shrugged, shuffling slightly aside, numb to the cold seeping through to her bones. Thor collapsed down next to her, releasing the tiniest of grimaces. "You two remind me of me and my brother. He too had an affinity for knives... and stabbing me with them." 

Messalina choked out a laugh, the smile immediately dropping from her face. "Don't worry, I can assure you that you won't be stabbed, at least by me. I think me and your brother would get along quite well; if he has your share of the genes we definitely will." 

"That's impossible, my brother's adopted." Thor paused, the confusion fading off of his face, all emotion wiped from it. Instead, a crestfallen expression fell upon him. "Was." 

Messalina felt her heart constrict. The thought of Octavian dying... she couldn't even think about it without rocking backwards and forwards. He was everything she had, he was her purpose and without him, she wasn't entirely sure what she'd do. "I'm sorry about your brother. I know it won't help much, but I guess that's all I can say. Talk to me if you need to, or anyone else here. I'm pretty sure everyone has lost something or someone, so they understand even a fraction of your pain." 

"Are you included in those that are grief stricken?" Thor asked, eyes glued on her quizzically. She thought maybe she could lie, or just brush it off - it was something she preferred to. Everyone had more important things to worry about, she shouldn't make it any harder for them. 

But sometimes, all she wanted to do was say that she was in pain. 

"Yes. I just hide it well." 

Silence fell between the pair. She wasn't sure why Thor decided to talk to her. It might have been because he overheard the fight between her and Octavian, or maybe he needed someone to admit his pain too just like she did. Maybe he just needed someone. 

"Messalina?" Thor piped up. Her attention was immediately on him. "You were flirting, correct?"

She chortled. Of all the things he could have picked up on, or started talking about, it was her innate flirting. "Sorry, force of habit." 

"I am very flattered Miguardian, but my heart belongs to someone else." He looked at her as if he expected her to start weeping, to plead for him to just love her. She only smiled, an ember of jealously brewing in her gut. 

"I wish mine did."

Thor clapped her on the shoulder. "Do not worry, one day a man, or woman, will see what a great warrior you are and they will be enamoured with you!" 

Messalina couldn't fight the grin that was building up on her face. He tilted his head at her, clearly confused on what she was laughing at. She waved her hand, the grin still plastered to her face. "You're funny, Thor. I like you." 

Instantly his face lit up. Beaming, he spoke cheerfully. "The feelings mutual." 

*

Messalina and Thor didn't spend much time sat there, having to go out into the main area when the Guardians shouted for them. Out of the corner of her eye she was Octavian and Drax enter the room, Drax placing a heavy hand on Octavian's shoulder before pulling away quickly. Just like habit, Messalina found herself by Octavian's side, an invisible force grounding her there. 

"Thor, you said that Thanos had the stones, correct?" Gamora directed her attention towards him, blind to the tensing of Peter's jaw at the action. 

"Correct. It's likely in the time we've been apart he's accustomed more. We must be swift, time is of the essence." Thor frowned down at the table. "Do you not own any hammers?" 

Peter ignored his question, pointing angrily at him. "You say time is of the essence when you go gallivanting after Edward Scissor Hands here? Why do we have to do everything when you say so?" 

Octavian raised his brows, staring at Peter with fire in his eyes, jaw set and arms crossed. "I'd watch what you say." 

Peter ignored him, continuing to look at Thor as if he held all of the answers. "Tell us, if you want us to do everything you say why don't you bless us all with this foolproof plan of yours and I'll follow." 

Thor carried on bustling about, finally approaching a keypad and frowning down at it, his fingers lingering over the buttons. "I'll take your pod, beyond that I am clueless." 

"You're clueless?" Peter's voice reached a new frequency Messalina had never heard of, her shrinking away from the noise. Octavian only winced. "You're the god of Thunder and you're clueless?" 

"I am not Tyr - I simply control thunder. Do not expect my plans to be 'foolproof'." Everyone gaped at the man. He was speaking of the fragile future of earth as if it was nothing. 

Peter opened his mouth to retort back when Gamora's piercing command cut him off. "Enough! We need to stop Thanos. We need to find out where he's going next." 

Messalina tried not to notice the way Octavian's body stiffened when she spoke.

With complete certainty, Thor responded with one word. "Knowhere."

"He must be going somewhere," Mantis dreamily added. Messalina had to avert her eyes from her antennae - she just wasn't used to aliens just yet. Living on earth had made her ignorant. 

"Knowhere? We've been there. Not that great a place." Peter's face contorted, his lips twisting into almost a snarl. "Excuse me, that's our food." 

"Not anymore." Octavian nudged Messalina, whispering how much he liked the guy. She didn't even acknowledge him, paying attention to the attempts to make to a plan. At least, that's why she told herself she was ignoring him and it wasn't because she was still upset about what he'd said. 

"Hey!" Messalina shouted, cutting the argument short. "I know you two are butting heads but please for the love of Christ will you just let us save the world? I'd like to actually feel like I was sent to this reality for a reason." 

"Sent to this reality?" Thor's question fell on deaf ears as Messalina spun towards Thor, her interrogation beginning. 

"Why would he be at Knowhere?" 

"For years, the reality stone has been stored safe with the Collector." Thor barely even finished his sentence before Peter snorted. 

"Zip it Quill!" Messalina snapped, feeling her patience run short. He remained silent after that. "Okay, so we go to Knowhere and get the stone. See, was it really that hard?" 

Thor coughed, raising his hand. Messalina lifted her brows in his direction. "Permission to speak?" 

"Just fucking spit it out." 

"We can not go to Knowhere - we need to go to Nivadillier." 

Messalina's jaw dropped. "Are you serious? A tyrant is after the very thing that could help him conquer the universe and you want to Nivader?" 

"Actually it's Nivadillier," Thor interjected, darting his eyes away from her as she shot him with a fiery glare. 

Octavian grabbed her arm, squeezing it tightly. "I thought I was the angry one." 

"So I'm not allowed to be angry when I'm told that we can't do what we were sent here to do? That I can't be furious that I will never go back home and if we screw up here we're stuck? You can not tell me I am not allowed to feel emotion Octavian." Messalina huffed, shaking her arm out of his grip. "How about you guys tell me what the plan is after you figure it out? I'm going on a little walk."

"Uh Messalina?" Peter dared to address her, slightly shrinking back when she spun around expectantly. "Remember that we're in space."

She took a deep breath, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "I actually am going to throw myself out of this ship." 

Messalina left before she accidentally threw a knife at someone. 

*

She'd been sat staring out of the window for what felt like hours. Strange had told her a lot about space, but he never told her how breathtaking it was. She just wished she had more time to enjoy it. 

A rap of fists against metal made her jump. Instantly she was pulled out of her daze, placing the knife she'd been playing with back in her lap. She didn't even need to look over her shoulder to know it was Octavian. 

"We decided to split up. The Guardians are going after the stone and Thor, Rocket and Groot are going to Nivadillier." He cautiously approached, his usual heavy footsteps almost silent. 

"What about us?" Messalina whispered, unable to talk any louder. She didn't want to betray how thick her voice was. 

"We're splitting up." Messalina's head whirred in Octavian's direction so fast she was convinced she nearly broke her neck. Before she could protest, he started talking again. "I wanted to kill Gamora when I found out. I don't know what I'd do if I ended up alone with her. It's best this way." 

Messalina shook her head in disbelief. "But I can't protect you." 

"And I can't protect you." He sighed, running a hand through his shaggy, black hair. "I tried to talk them into letting us both go with Thor but Peter was adamant on having one of us with him. He thinks because we've seen the damage Thanos has done already, we'll know what his next move is. So much is different already than our own timeline and I'm... I'm afraid that we're just as much in the dark as they are." 

"Hey, Oct." Messalina grabbed a hold of his shoulders, looking him square in the eyes. "We've got this. This is what we trained for, nothing can go wrong."

She regretted the words as soon as she said them - they both knew she was lying. 

- 

hey guys!  i am really loving writing this story and i can not wait to get into the nitty gritty stuff! i also hope that i'm getting the characters right and if not, i would love some tips!

i don't actually have much to say this week. the only exciting thing that happened was that i got an unconditional offer from a really good uni that is in the top 10 in the country for doing the course i want. i was really surprised - it's meant to be really difficult to get an unconditional, and with the entry grades being AAB i was shook. i am unsure if i should take it though as there is another uni thats got a really good course that i get a bit too excited about BUT i only have a conditional for that. for the unconditional to take affect i need to say that i'm definitely going to that uni and it means i couldn't change my mind and go somewhere else, unless i apply for the year after. 

what about you guys? anything exciting happen? 

thank you for reading, see you soon! 

-thirdwheelchurchill