Cole

Here's the thing: you never know which days are going to change your life. You'll be caught up in whatever routine you've fallen into, thinking you know what to expect, and wham! Change. It comes for everyone. Your whole life can change in a day, an hour, a minute.

There must have been a time when change seemed like a good thing. When I was very small, my parents did their best to give me a good life full of surprises and joy and love. Then my brother left. He was older than me, twenty versus my eight years. Then my granddad died. Then my aunt. Then we realized the people in our pack who were sick were afflicted with bloodrash, a deadly disease that kills about a quarter of werewolves it infects. It spread through our pack like wildfire during a drought.

Dad got sick next. My mom refused to leave his side and got infected, too. They sent me to live with my gran, but I was just a scared, stupid kid. I snuck out one night and into their bedroom. I'd never regret it, even though I got infected, since it's the only reason I got to see my mom again before she died. I still had the scars down my torso and arms from the blistering, fiery rash.

After that, life went on. My dad and I recovered – physically, anyway. Gran moved in with us, and we each acted as an anchor for the others. We kept each other sane. The pack recovered too, slowly but surely. And I grew into an adult. Now, I hadn't experienced material change for a while and was perfectly content with that.

In my experience, the status quo was safe. Comfy. I had my family, I had a job I enjoyed baking for my dad's café, and I had friends. There was only one thing missing from my life, only one change I would welcome.

My mate.

Oh, I knew the risks. I knew that having a mate meant giving yourself over to fate. It meant the world had new ways to come after your happiness. And yet... I couldn't help wanting it.

Too bad I was too much of a coward to ever develop a mate bond with someone. You could be standing next to someone who was perfect for you and never know it if you weren't both receptive to the connection. Sometimes people formed a mating bond years after meeting, having no idea it was even possible until it happened. The connection was entirely out of our control. Yet, people still managed to find mates. Most of the packmates I had grown up with were already mated by now. It was instinct to seek out the right person and forge that bond. Sometimes, I worried something had broken in my brain during my childhood that made me instinctively resist letting anyone else into the small circle of people who it would destroy me to lose. I had lost too many already.

So here I was: twenty-four years old, single, and wanting.

I rolled over with a huff, blinking a few times as my eyes adjusted to the late-afternoon light. My hand came up to tousle my wavy blond hair and I sat up with an undignified groan.

I shouldn't have napped.

Naps always left me feeling groggy and out of sorts. But how else was I supposed to go out tonight after waking up at four AM? My best friend, Lucia, was turning twenty-three tomorrow and wanted to celebrate right at midnight. A few of her friends from school would be there – she was studying to be a nurse – and I told her I'd be there for at least a couple of hours. I never made it to midnight when we went out.

Maybe I'll make it this time.

Probably not. Clubs were fun and all, but I couldn't take the pounding music for long before it gave me a headache. But if Lucia was having fun, then it would be worth it. And maybe I could finally get a date with Lucia's classmate, Kristy. She was the kind of beautiful that could be intimidating at first glance, but when you got talking with her, she had a way of making you feel comfortable. And she was hilarious. Kind of my dream woman, to be honest, but I always chickened out of doing anything about it.

With Kristy in mind, I dressed to impress. I put on a pair of fitted black pants with a few intentional rips down the front with a fitted black v-neck tee that was incredibly soft to the touch. I could imagine getting her to dance with me and her hands all over my shirt... then maybe under it.  If we're being completely honest, I was a little repressed; living at home with Dad and Gran made it challenging to realize the sex life of my dreams. 

 Well... that, and the complete lack of a dating life.

I picked up Lucia on my way to the club she had picked. She was planning to get absolutely plastered and knew better than to drive her own car there. "Hey, Colby!" she greeted as she climbed into the passenger seat. It was impressive, the way she was able to slide in without flashing her underwear despite the skirt of her silver dress falling maybe a centimeter past her butt. How does someone develop this particular skill?

"Hey, birthday girl! That's still not my name." Lucia was big on nicknames and pet names.

"Pfft. I think it's cute."

It was cute. That's why I didn't like it. "I'm not cute."

Lucia rolled her eyes playfully. "Okay, hottie."

"That's not better."

"Got it, grumpykins."

I stopped arguing then before the names could get any worse. Lucia was in top form tonight, almost bubbling over with excitement. She buckled her seatbelt but remained perched too close to the edge of her seat. I intentionally backed down the driveway too abruptly and too fast, which threw her forward. She braced her hands on the dashboard and said, "Alright, alright," as she slid back into her seat.

"Just looking out for you. Road safety is important." Werewolves were more durable than our human counterparts, but a car wreck could still take us out.

"You're such a softie," Lucia cooed. "Hey, want me to try and talk you up with Kristy tonight?"

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Don't you dare."

"Why? I think she'd be really into you if she gave you a chance."

"No. Excited for your birthday tomorrow?"

Lucia had to know I was intentionally changing the subject, but she let it slide. "Duh! Penny and I are going to have a sleepover tonight and her cute brother is in town. I packed my best nightie, that red silk one with the black lace. I'm going to 'forget' I'm wearing it when I go down for breakfast in the morning."

"Does Penny know about this?"

"About our sleepover? Duh." Lucia checked her makeup in the pull-down mirror. How she thought it would have gotten messed up during the two minutes she'd been in my car was a mystery I had no desire to unravel.

"About your plan to seduce her brother."

Lucia waved this off. "Yeah, no worries."

"Wait, which one is Penny? Is she human?"

"Nope. Witch."

That was good. Getting romantically involved with a human was way more complicated. You never knew how the big reveal about werewolves was going to go and I'd heard stories about humans freaking the fuck out when they suddenly felt a mate bond they didn't know was possible.

Lucia turned on some music and I let her play DJ for the rest of the ride. We usually fought over who got to pick the music even though we liked a lot of the same stuff. We'd go for the same bands, but completely different songs. When we finally got to the parking garage and I parked the car, Lucia put her hand over mine to keep me from getting out right away.

"Hey, thanks for coming out with us tonight. I know you and the gang don't have a ton in common," she said, her expression sincere.

As I looked into her pretty brown eyes, I thought, how much simpler would life have been if Lucia could have been my mate? We'd drive each other up a wall as life partners, of course, but she was so easy to love platonically.

I shook off that line of thinking and rolled my eyes at her. "Nowhere else I'd rather be."

I ate those words almost immediately. The club was swarming with people tonight and the smoke machines smelled a little musty. One of Lucia's friends had managed to grab a little table in the back, but there wasn't enough seating for everyone. They instantly made room for Lucia, but I felt awkward trying to join in. Lucia waved me over anyway, but I shook my head and gestured toward the bar. She smiled eagerly and clapped her hands to indicate approval since it was too damn loud to hear her clearly from a few feet away.

At the bar, I ordered enough cocktails to go around and carried them back to Lucia's group on a tray. When I arrived, I found that a couple of her friends had gone to the dance floor, so I was able to squeeze in next to Lucia. Kristy was still there and looked gorgeous, but for some reason, I couldn't quite convince my mouth to say anything to her directly.

I drank a soda, hoping the caffeine would help me last longer. Meanwhile, Lucia and her friends quickly descended into a giggling hoard with only their designated driver keeping her head. As they yelled their conversation above the music, I had to fight the urge to press my hands to my ears. Once again, I was painfully reminded of why I usually avoided these nights out with Lucia's group. On her own, Lucia was the best. But this wasn't fun for me at all.

Then Lucia would grin at me and I felt bad for thinking like that. A couple hours of my time wasn't so much to give to make her happy.

Still, when I checked my watch and found that it had been almost exactly two hours since we arrived, I felt relieved. "Hey, want to take a spin on the dance floor before I go?" I offered Lucia.

"Eek! Yes!" She stood up too fast and knocked into the table, sending everyone's drinks wobbling. I quickly braced the table, then hooked my arm through Lucia's for stability. She was sloshed. At least she was a cheerful drunk.

I found us a little space among the writhing mass of bodies and guided Lucia's arms around my neck. She instantly melted against me, swaying too slowly for the music and looking up at me with a dreamy smile. "This is my favorite birthday ever," she declared.

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "It's not even your birthday yet, Luci."

Her only answer was giggling like I'd told a hilarious joke. We finished our dance with me supporting most of Lucia's weight. Then, I got her back to her friends and caught Penny's eye. She was acting as a designated driver and was blessedly sober. "Keep an eye on her," I said to Penny, nodding at Lucia, who still leaned against me with a big smile.

"I've got her," Penny confirmed. I helped Lucia sit and saluted them before heading toward the door.

Only... I wasn't really tired yet after all that caffeine, just tired of being surrounded by a bunch of Lucia's drunk friends. And I'd come all the way out here. Without any conscious decision being made, I headed toward the red curtain on the opposite wall.

The reason Lucia and I came here when we went out was that they had a floor for occults only. It would be far less crowded than the main level. The bouncer let me through and I found that even passing through the curtain was enough to smooth my fraying nerves. The bass carried through and some crowd sounds, but it was muffled now. I climbed the spiral staircase up to the second floor and smiled at the sight.

Magical concoctions glowed in their glasses. The bartender, a nymph, had flowers growing in her hair. Like, attached to her head and growing there. The bouncer leaning against the wall was a vampire, and he didn't bother to disguise his red eyes. A couple of faeries swirled above the small dancing crowd while the DJ, a witch, set off magical fireworks over the dancers in time with the music.

It was like stepping into another world.

I was too busy looking around to notice anyone approaching me until a shadow fell over me from behind. I mindlessly glanced over my shoulder, then did a double-take. There was a man behind me looking down at me with bedroom eyes. His dark eyes lazily scanned me up and down before he met my gaze. I felt it like a touch, and goosebumps raised all down my arms.

The man stepped closer, fully into my space. "Hello," he said. His voice did something to me, and I had a hard time catching my breath even though I wasn't exerting myself at all.

Hi. I couldn't quite get the word out, my mouth was so dry.

The corner of his mouth slid upward and he smirked at me like he was amused. Why is that expression so hot? Why is he looking at me like that?

Why won't my mouth work?

He moved slowly, his eyes fixed on me as he reached an arm out to hook around my waist. I thought he was trying to judge my reaction and wondered whether he had any insight into what was going on with me, because I sure as hell didn't. His hand applied gentle pressure on the small of my back and I moved forward so that we were almost pressed together. His other hand came up to gently push my chin upward, tipping my face toward his.

"I want to kiss you," he said.

I reminded myself to breathe. I'm not interested in men. It was probably for the best my mouth still refused to move, since my body's reaction to him seemed to contradict that particular thought. I found myself nodding.

He smirked and dipped down to capture my lips with his own – that's what it really felt like, capturing. His mouth was supple and warm, soft with the slightest bit of roughness from stubble that was just starting to grow in. It made my spine tingle, and my arms came up to feel his back. I learned that his button-down shirt was hiding toned musculature, and feeling it made me shiver.

His tongue flicked at my lips and I eagerly opened to him. I don't know how long we stood there making out, but eventually he pulled away and chuckled deeply when I rose up on my toes to give chase. I never wanted him to stop kissing me.

I didn't know what to think of all this and I didn't really care. I could think about what all this meant about me and my sexuality tomorrow. For now, I felt like if I didn't get more of him – much more – right this second, I might actually combust.

What that goal in mind, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing my erection into his belly and resting on top of his. Excitement zinged through me at that, and I pressed my lips to his again while his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly against him. I sighed into the kiss. Better.

"I could do this forever," I said, not realizing I'd spoken the words rather than just thinking them until they were already out. I regretted breaking our kiss to talk and tried to go back in, but he turned his head away with another of those sexy chuckles.

"Forever, you say?" he asked. "I can think of even more pleasurable ways to spend our time."

I nodded. Please. Oh, please. My mind frantically searched for somewhere we could go for some privacy. My home was out. No way was I bringing back a strange man with Gran and Dad there. The bathroom? There was just the one little stall in the men's room, but I thought we could make it work if we really needed to. Then again... another look at the size of this guy had me dismissing that idea. He was simply too big.

But he seemed to have a solution, because he started walking to the door with me still wrapped around him.

"Um, should I get down?" I asked uncertainly. My arms and legs tightened reflexively around him at the idea. I couldn't help feeling like this was right where I belonged.

"No."

I sighed and relaxed against him, resting my head on his shoulder. I thought I felt a tremor run through his body in response, and his arms tightened. While he walked briskly down the stairs, he pressed a kiss to my temple. If I hadn't already been fully complacent, that would have done it. How could this feel so right? I didn't want to question it. It was enough just to feel this way.

He carried me outside and to the same parking garage where I'd left my car. The overnight rates were exorbitant, but I couldn't have possibly cared less about that. I was led to a cherry red SUV and fully expected that he'd set me in the backseat so we could pick up where we'd left off. Instead, he gently positioned me on the passenger seat and clicked the seatbelt around me before going around the car and getting into the driver's side.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, starting to come out of the bizarre lust cloud I'd been in since laying eyes on him. I didn't even know his name! What was I thinking? He could be taking me anywhere. What if he'd done something to me, a spell of some sort? Like a supernatural roofie. I wasn't into men. Wasn't the likeliest explanation that he'd done something to me? And now I was just letting him take me somewhere? My hands fumbled at the seatbelt button so I could get myself the hell out of here, but he rested his hand over mine and my panic was washed away by a strong sense of belonging.

"I intend to take you to my home. Do you wish to leave?" he asked, his eyes serious and his expression somber.

My body betrayed me again, my head shaking no at the very idea of walking away from him.

"I want to hear you say it," he insisted.

"I want you," I said, then shook my foggy head. That wasn't what I'd meant to say. "I want to go with you." Damn me, but it was the truth.

He removed his hand and backed out of the parking space. I still had no idea where we were headed, but I rested my head back against the headrest and gave myself over to him. Hopefully this wouldn't feel like a mistake in the morning.