Julian didn't know what to say. And he hated it. He hated the silence in the car. He hated that Wynter wouldn't say anything. And he hated that he didn't know what was going on. Julian wanted Wynter to open up to him like everyone else does. Julian wanted Wynter to lean on him, share the weight on his shoulders.

The dark-haired boy was too much of a mystery. The unexplainable kind. No one knew what he was feeling or what he was thinking. No one could guess his moves. He was so...closed up. Not introverted but just preferred to keep his problems to himself. Those who don't share their stories are always the saddest ones, Julian had always believed. It made sense now.

Julian was going mad. It had been only a week since he had met Wynter and yet Julian wanted to save him from drowning. It didn't make sense. Wynter never came upto Julian and told him his sob story. He had never asked Julian to  listen to him like all the others. So why did Julian feel like he would fail himself if he couldn't help Wynter in saving himself?

" Julian..." Wynter started " How did you know I'd be there?"

Julian but his lip, hesitating for a second before deciding to tell the dark-haired boy the truth.

" About a week back I followed you to see where you always went. You're the fucking water ghoul"

Wynter was silent for a second " You stalked me?" he shouted, throwing his arms up in the air.

" I followed you. There's a difference" Julian defended himself poorly.

" There isn't. You stalked me" Wynter repeated.

" I was worried!" Julian replied calmly.

" So you stalked me?"
" Yes!" Julian said.

Neither of the boys said anything again. They let the silence settle between them. Wynter wasn't in the mood to argue and Julian wasn't in the mood to prove his point. So Julian reached out to turn on the radio. The cynical song that came on didn't help the atmosphere become any lighter. Julian turned off the radio with an impatient flick of his wrist and started to curse explicitly. Wynter ignored him and continued staring ahead blankly.

When Julian's phone rang he put it on speaker mode " It's Julian"

" Oops sorry. I thought you were my dead grandma. Of course I know it's you—"

" What do you want Ren?"
" You ran out on Olivia? She's been a sobbing mess. I mean not because you left. Her older brother's death anniversary is tomorrow...."

" I'll call her when I get home" Julian muttered.

Wynter's head had snapped up when he heard Ren. Julian had left a conversation in the middle. To come find him. Julian never left a conversation in the middle, especially when the other person was sharing their problems.

" Why'd you even leave in the first place?" Ren asked curiously.

Julian glanced at Wynter. Their eyes met for a second and the the green eyed boy looked away " I...had a panic attack-ish thing. About the whole...Father Adams will cure you drama" he lied.

There was silence on the other side for a second " Are you alright Jule? Do you want to stay over again?—"
" No. No. I'm alright don't worry. I—"

" Jule...don't argue with them okay? If you argue with them it'll get worse—"

" Yeah I got it," Julian interrupted, " I'll call you later" he said and hung up.

" Why'd you lie about me to Ren?" Wynter asked, making Julian scoff in disbelief.

" I'm sorry would you rather have me tell him that you tried to drown yourself?"
" I wasn't drowning myself" Wynter mumbled in a low voice.

" Yeah sure. Okay"
" You still shouldn't have stalked me" Wynter said stubbornly, scrolling through his phone as if trying to find something.

" Yeah I heard that the first time...what are you doing?" Julian looked into Wynter's phone for a second.

" There's a law about stalking people...I'm trying to find it" Wynter muttered under his breath, smiling a little.

" Good luck and....goodnight" Julian said, pulling up on the side of the road in front of Wynter's house.

Wynter moved to get out of the car but something inside him made him look back at the boy next to him

" Julian...are you okay?"

Julian frowned in confusion " Why do you ask?"

Wynter shook his head, pushing the door open " It's nothing. I'll see you later"

It wasn't nothing. Julian knew what Wynter had wanted to ask him. And yet he couldn't bring himself to talk about it to anyone. Maybe Wynter had been right in asking him who would listen to his problems. And as much as Julian tried to convince himself that he didn't need anyone to confide in, he knew that he was lying to himself.

When Julian went home that night, his mother wouldn't look him in the eye and his father wouldn't talk to him. That was fine because Julian didn't mind. He went straight upto his room and dialled Olivia's number.

My problems are not important. There are people who have worse lives than me. I don't matter and neither do my childish problems.

He kept on repeating these three lines to himself. Then why did Julian feel like he was suffocating? Was he too weak to deal with all this? Or was it that he was really abnormal?

He heard as Olivia cried over the lost. Her older brother had died at a shoot out at his highschool three years back. She had problems that had to be solved. Her problems made sense.

But can you solve a problem if that problem is yourself?

Julian didn't want to find out. The idea of nothingness floated back into his head. Would death feel like nothingness...he thought to himself as he stared up at the ceiling while trying to sleep.

His phone buzzed with a text message.

Wynter: Ur paying tmrw. At the diner.

Julian: Deal.
Julian: Wuu2?

Wynter: Just put Hayden 2 sleep.
Wynter: Now I'm doing homework.

Julian: Booooooringggggg

Wynter: Excuse me if I don't wanna work with you at McDonalds in the future.

Julian: Y wud u not wanna work at McDonald's? They're the best!

Wynter: The pay is horrible.

Julian: Yeah...ig ur rite.

Wynter: Ok. I'll ttyl

Julian: Night xx

Wynter: Srsly? Kisses?

Julian: Wait u wanted hugs too?

Wynter: Bye

Wynter smiled at the texts for a second before locking his phone and closing his notebooks. He sat in silence for a few minutes, waiting for the voices to tell him to go to the lake. They didn't. Perhaps the giddy smile on his face had chased them away. For once, it felt nice to have his mind to himself. Calm and peaceful.

Wynter found himself feeling happy. If happiness was what would chase away the voices then he would gladly chase after the happiness.

He was needy and selfish but who isn't?
Who cares about anything except living?

No one. They can lie and give excuses but no one wants to do anything except live.
And there's a difference between living and existing.

A/N:

Keep on living!

Thanks for reading yall. I love you so much.

Don't forget to leave a vote if you liked this chapter.