Nakatulala ako habang humihigop ng kape, nakataas ang isang paa habang kumakain ng breakfast sa bahay ni Daisy. Tanya was having her hangover soup because she was too drunk last night. She was in a VIP room with a guy she met there. Daisy told me she had to wait almost an hour until their couch sex ended.

"Ayos ka lang?" tanong ni Daisy, natatawa. Lumingon na rin sa akin si Tanya. "Sure ka bang papasok ka pa? You don't look alright. You looked tired as hell."

Nagbuntonghininga ako bago muling humigop sa kape. "I am. Kaya ko namang pumasok. Para lang akong may hangover-"

"Sa sex?" nakangising tanong ni Tanya.

The three of us laughed. "Oo. Mas nalasing pa ako ro'n kaysa alak."

Ngumuso siya. "Kanina ka pa tulala, eh. Can't forget him?"

I scoffed. "Can't forget how good he was in bed. I don't care about him."

Tumawa si Daisy bago uminom ng kape. "Did he make you feel like a princess, doing nothing as he pleasures you? Or is he the dominant type that you have to submit to everything he demands?"

I smirked. "I'll never be the submissive one, Miss Softie. I have always been the dominant one in bed." I heaved a deep sigh. "I made him submit to my commands last night before I agreed to have that one-night stand but he was so good, maiisip mo na sana nagpaka-good girl ka na lang para maulit."

Nagtawanan silang dalawa bago kami nagpatuloy sa pagkain.

"So, what's his name? Where is he from?" Tanya asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know and I don't care. Bakit aalamin ko pa? It's just a one-night commitment. It's not going to happen again. The world is big to fucking meet him once again."

Tanya grinned. "Can't wait to find someone who will make you stop doing one-night stands. You know, no-string attached relationships are good too. You've got to have an exclusive man to pleasure you."

Umiling ako nang umiling. "And be in a relationship with them? Be this sweet lovey-dovey here and there? No, thanks."

Tumawa si Daisy. "But Tanya never loved any of them, you know? She only dated men that passed her qualifications. It's like being in a relationship with someone you like, not someone you love. Tanya's commitment policy for herself is to act like a good girlfriend all the time to his boyfriend, but he must never, ever, asked her to cuddle every after sex."

Tumawa ako bago lumingon kay Tanya. "Bakit nga ba? Cuddles after sex are actually good, though."

She scoffed. "No thanks. The last time I wanted cuddles, I was shut down and rejected. So, as a revenge to comfort my rejected horny soul, I've decided do the same to every guy I have sex with."

Napakunot-noo ako bago lumingon sa kan'ya. "Wow, I didn't know that you had a story like that. So, who's that lucky guy that made our Tanya softie?"

She snorted. Daisy chuckled but shrugged.

"It's . . . a secret." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "And I'm going to bury that memory in my grave. I fucking hate him."

Nagtuloy-tuloy ang kwentuhan namin habang kumakain hanggang sa nauna na akong nag-prepare kaysa sa kanila para pumasok sa trabaho. Good thing, I have clothes here in Daisy's condo, just like Tanya, so we didn't have to go home in times like this.

"Pasok ka na?" Daisy asked. I nodded. "How about your car?"

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Daanan ko on my way home from work, I guess. I can't afford to be late, malaki ang kaltas."

Tumawa siya. "Ingat!"

"Take care, babe!" malakas na sabi ni Tanya from inside the bathroom.

As soon as I left Daisy's condo, nakahanap kaagad ako ng taxi. Pinara ko kaagad 'yon bago sumakay.

"Good morning. Can you drive a little bit faster to RES Telecommunications?" I politely asked the driver.

"Sure, ma'am."

"Thank you!"

Tulad ng sinabi niya, medyo mabilis ang naging pagpapatakbo niya. I knew I'd be running to the heavy traffic so kahit na ma-stuck in the middle of it, I still have a chance to be on time sa work.

Five minutes before my duty started, nakarating ako sa harap ng company. Nagbayad kaagad ako ng fare and added a tip for the driver as I thanked him before running to the building.

"Good morning, ma'am!" malawak ang ngiting bati sa akin ng guwardiya.

"Good morning!" malakas na sagot ko habang tumatakbo papasok sa revolving doors.

Pati ang ibang empleyado, binabati rin ako habang papasok kaya naman kumakaway na lang ako sa kanila to greet back. Kailangan ko lang talagang ihampas ang ID ko sa scanner para makahinga na nang maluwag.

Nang makita ang scanner, mabilis kong inihampas ang ID ko ro'n bago sumandal sa pader.

"Wooo, finally," bulong ko sa sarili. I still have three minutes pa naman but it's better.

Sumakay na ako ng elevator habang isinusuot nang mabuti ang ID. Inayos ko ang collar ng suot ko habang tinitingan ang reflection ng sarili mula sa pinto. Napanguso ako nang makita ang malaki at namumula-mula pang hickeys.

Damn, it was a rough sex, huh?

Inayos ko ulit 'yon mabuti para maitago bago lumabas ng elevator nang dumating na sa 7th floor. Binati ako ng mga empleyadong nadaanan. I greeted them back with a sweet smile on my lips na para bang hindi ako lasing sa sex kaninang madaling-araw.

Nang makaupo ako sa desk, in-open ko kaagad ang computer. As a Staff Accountant, I really have a lot of work to do everyday, considering how I need to prepare for journal entries. Kasama rin sa trabaho ko ang reconciliations and performing duties related to accounts receivable and accounts payable kaya naman dapat lang talagang malaki ang sahod ko dito.

As a CPA, I should've been a Senior Accountant by now. Pero dahil mas madali ang maging Staff Accountant dahil mas gamay ko ito, hinayaan ko na lang. Tutal, malaki rin naman ang sweldo ko. Saka ko na lang hahabulin ang promotion kapag may pakialam na ako sa mga posisyon. Sweldo ang importante sa akin at stress-free workloads. 'Yon lang.

I'm not going to analyze the economic health of this company only to be paid slightly higher than my current salary as a Staff Accountant.

"Good morning, Areeya!" bati sa akin ni Queenie, isa sa mga Senior Accountant.

Ngumiti ako habang nila-log in ang employee account ko. "Magandang umaga rin naman sa 'yo, mahal na reyna."

Tumawa siya. "I guess you had a rough night."

Napalunok ako bago inayos ang suot ko. Napapailing na lang ako dahil bakit ba ako nagsuot ng ganito? It's a black spaghetti strap inside topped with a beige polo. Hindi nakabutones ang first three buttons because I liked it that way. Yun nga lang, paulit-ulit ko namang itinataas today dahil nga sa hickeys ko.

"Hindi naman. Sakto lang. Malaki kaya p'wede na." I laughed.

I almost laughed at myself. That guy fucked me in every corner of his room and I like the way his fingers moved and thrusted inside me, tapos sasabihin ko, sakto lang???

She grimaced. "Many boys talaga only has big dicks, 'no? Pero bad performance. Akala yata, lahat ng babae, nadadaan sa laki ng tite nila." Humagalpak kaming dalawa ng tawa. "Anyway, sana napaungol ka niya."

I tsked. "Naman. Hindi naman mahirap pekein 'yon."

Tumawa siya nang malakas bago pumunta sa sariling cubicle to start on her job. Napapailing na lang ako.

If ever that guy heard everything I said, he'd be humiliated and angry for that. Of course, everything I told Queenie were lies. But I'm not going to be the person to boost their ego by telling them the truth. And I don't really care if they'll be hurt for that.

It was the bare minimum compared to how men sexualize women. Wala pa nga ang mga sinasabi ko compared sa mga ginagawa nila.

Buong araw akong pagod at antok habang ginagawa ang trabaho. Masakit pa rin ang katawan ko dahil sa nangyari kaninang madaling-araw at kulang na kulang ako sa tulog. Mabuti na lang, may intern na nag-abot sa akin ng iced coffee kaya kahit papaano, nagising ang diwa ko.

Before our work was done today, the accounting manager reminded us once again to never be late tomorrow.

"Bukas darating ang bago nating boss kaya magbihis kayo nang mas maayos, okay? Don't be late or I'll add more works to your already piling up workloads."

"Yes po," sabay-sabay naming sabi sa loob ng accounting department office.

When my work is done, pinatay ko na ang computer at nagligpit ng gamit. Nagpaalam ako sa mga nag-o-overtime na uuwi na bago umalis ng office saka lumabas ng company. Nag-taxi ulit ako at nagpahatid papunta sa bar na pinuntahan namin kagabi. Kinuha ko ang kotse sa parking lot doon saka nag-drive pauwi.

Oras na makapasok sa loob ng condo, ibinagsak ko kaagad ang katawan sa kama. Sa sakit ng katawan ko, para akong binugbog. Hindi na rin ako nagtaka na nakatulog kaagad ako.

Nagising ako sa malakas na tunog ng cellphone ko. Masama ang loob kong gumising at bumangon para kuhanin 'yon sa bag na nasa sahig. Kinuha ko 'yon para tingnan kung sino ang tumatawag. Napairap ako't napabuntonghininga nang makita ko ang pangalan ni Mama.

Sinagot ko ito. "Po, bakit, Mama?"

Nagbuntonghininga siya. "Areeya, anak. Kumusta ka na?"

Tiningnan ko ang date ngayon sa calendar. It's September 13 pala. Swelduhan na in two days kaya nangungumusta na siya.

"Ayos lang. Kayo ni Papa?"

Narinig ko ang malalim na buntonghininga niya. "Maayos naman kami." Sandali siyang tumigil. "Anak, m-may naitatabi ka pa ba d'yan? Malapit naman na ang swelduhan n'yo, 'di ba?"

Napapikit ako nang mariin bago pinaraan ang mga daliri sa buhok ko sa inis na naramdaman.

"Para saan na naman ba 'to?"

"N-Naniningil na kasi ang bangko sa utang ng papa mo. B-Baka p'wedeng tulungan mo ulit kami."

Nagbuntonghininga ako. "Saan napunta yung ibinigay ko last time? Hindi maliit na halaga 'yon. That's three months of my salary, Ma," I said, forcing myself to stay calm.

"I-Ibinayad namin sa iba pa niyang pinagkakautangan." Napasabunot ako sa sarili sa sobrang inis. "Tulungan mo kaming makabayad, tutal, magulang mo naman kami. Alam ko na palagi na lang akong lumalapit sa 'yo sa tuwing ginigipit kami ng mga pinagkakautangan." Tumigil siya ako ako sunod-sunod ang paghinga sa mga naririnig. "Pero magulang mo kami, anak. Hindi mo kami p'wedeng pabayaan na lang basta."

Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko sa sobrang inis sa narinig. Kinagat ko ang ilalim ng labi at lumunok nang paulit-ulit, 'wag lang lumabas sa bibig ang mga salitang alam na pagsisisihan ko kapag binitiwan ko.

"Bukas pa darating ang sweldo, or baka sa Saturday. I don't know. Ide-deposit ko na lang once wired na sa akin."

Nagbuga siya ng malalim na buntonghininga. "Salamat, anak. Mag-iingat ka palagi."

Hindi na ako sumagot pa. Pinatay ko na lang ang tawag saka ibinato ang cellphone sa kama bago niyakap ang mga binti nang magkasalubong ang mga kilay.

This is why I am living on my own for five years already. All my life, in those twenty-one years that I've lived with them, wala akong ibang narinig kung hindi ang pagsisisi nila na naging mag-asawa sila at panunumbat sa mga nagawa nila sa akin bilang magulang.

Now that I'm not living with them, nabawasan nga, pero tumatawag pa rin sila to always remind me how shitty they are as my parents.

It's not like I asked them to deliver me to this world. Ako ba ang nakipag-sex para mabuo ako? Sila naman. They should've aborted me if they'll only make me live in hell.

Pregnancy has been on my mind from the moment I lost my virginity and since then until now, my decision about it has never been changed.

I still don't want pregnancy and if that will ever happen to me, I will abort it. No one deserves to live a life like I did.

No one deserves to live with this hell, disguised as family. It was a fucking joke--a trap you can never get away with until your last breath.

***

Kinabukasan, maagang-maaga akong gumising. Inihanda ko kaagad ang damit na isusuot ko. It's a white spaghetti strap topped with pink coat and a pencil skirt. Para akong lawyer.

Matapos magpatuyo ng buhok, nag-ayos na ako. At my workplace, I have never made myself looked sophisticated or seductive, the way I always do whenever I go to a bar. I need good colleagues who would help me and I don't want them to think that I'm seducing any men inside my workplace. I am playing safe here. I always make myself look like the kind and soft Areeya Cervantes--the social butterfly of accounting department na never nagpapaapi.

Gladly, that was a success. I'm close to everyone so I enjoyed working. Wala akong kaaway na katrabaho because they all say that I'm too kind for that. Medyo matalas lang talaga ang tabas ng dila from time to time pero palagi namang may point.

Ibinagsak ko ang buhok na pinlantsa sa magkabilang balikat. Ngumiti ako nang makita ang simple pero magandang ayos ng mukha ko. My makeup was barely noticeable and the lipstick I'm wearing was dusty nude pink. Bagay na bagay sa suot ko.

I wore my white stilettos and took my bag before I left my condo. Kinuha ko ang kotse sa underground parking lot saka nag-drive papunta sa RES Telecommunications.

As I've expected, I'm fifteen minutes early when I arrived at work so tumambay muna ako sa pantry para magkape. Before my duty started, bumalik na ako sa desk at nagsimula ng trabaho. Sakto naman na pagpasok ng accounting manager.

"Good morning, everyone! Save everything you're working on for now. We need to go to the auditorium. Sir Hunter has arrived in his office and will be introducing himself officially in front of everyone."

Tulad ng sinabi niya, tumayo kami nang halos sabay-sabay, nagbubulungan pa, dahil may nakakita raw dito at sobrang gwapo raw. Excited tuloy ang mga kababaihan, except me.

His looks were the last of my concerns. As long as suswelduhan niya ako nang tama at hindi aalipustahin sa kompanya niyang pinagsisilbihan ko na for more than two years, we're good.

Nang makarating kami sa auditorium, naupo kaming mga taga-accounting department nang magkakatabi. Binati rin kami ng employees from other department since madalas ang company dinner and party kaya halos magkakakilala na rin sa kabila ng malayong distansya ng bawat department office.

RES Telecommunications was only the third largest company of the Chairman but it's already huge enough even if it will be compared to other big companies of other businessmen. Talagang malawak lang ang dalawa na na-inherit na ng mga kuya ni Sir Hunter. Baka nga hindi na magkakakilala ang mga empleyado ro'n.

Ilang sandali pa, in-announce na ng secretary ni Chairman Renato Santiago na nandito na nga si Sir Hunter.

"Let us all welcome and give him a round of applause, our new CEO, Sir Hunter Santiago!"

Tumayo kaming lahat at nagpalakpakan. Lumabas mula sa backstage ang isang lalaking pamilyar at naka-clean cut, malinis na malinis ang itsura, nagsusumigaw ang pagiging billionaire sa pagmumukha niya. He looked such a bad boy and so, so dangerous.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang tumingin siya nang deretso sa mga empleyadong nakatayo ngayon at pumapalakpak. Napatigil ako nang mapagtanto kung sino ito. Kumabog nang malakas ang dibdib ko habang pinakikinggan siyang ipakilala ang sarili sa harap ng maraming tao.

"Good morning, everyone. Thank you so much for your warm welcome. I promise to take care of all of you, our employees, and treat you all as a family. Let's all be happy and keep a fun and healthy workplace!"

Muling magpalakpakan ang mga empleyado pero hindi na ako makagalaw pa sa kinatatayuan ko. Pinaupo na kami pagkatapos n'on pero para pa rin akong estatwa sa kinauupuan!

Fuck . . . fuck . . . fuck!!!

The man I had a one-night stand with turned out to be my fucking boss?!

Hindi ko na nagawa pang makinig sa mga sumunod na sinabi niya. Paulit-ulit na nag-e-echo sa isip ko yung fact na boss ko yung s-in-ex ko noong isang gabi! At sa mismong penthouse niya pa! Fuck, ang lakas kong mag-demand ng kung ano-ano sa kan'ya, paano kung pag-initan ako nito?!

Sinampal-sampal ko ang sarili sa mga naiisip.

Wake up, Aree. Kailan ka nagpaapi? Hindi ka magpapaapi, okay? Ano naman kung boss mo siya? Ano naman kung nag-sex kayo? Everything about the two of you ended the moment you stepped out of his place. That's all there is to your connection with him and nothing else anymore.

Tama . . . I shouldn't overthink about this too much.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita siyang bumaba sa stage at isa-isang nilapitan ang mga empleyado from the first row saka kinamayan. Narinig ko ang mga colleagues kong kinilig habang pinagkakaskas ang mga palad, mukhang naghihintay sa turn nila.

"Areeya! He's fucking handsome!" Queenie squeeled while shaking me. "Makikipag-shake hands siya sa atin, OMG!!!"

No . . .

Lumunok ako't handa nang umalis ng auditorium nang tinawag ako ng manager.

"Where are you going, Areeya?"

Tumikhim ako bago lumingon sa kan'ya. "C-Comfort room."

Umiling siya. "Wait ka lang a few more minutes this is going to end immediately. Hold your pee for a while. You shouldn't let this chance of meeting your boss go, okay?"

Wala na akong nagawa pa kung hindi ang bumalik sa pagkakaupo.

Habang lumilipas ang mga segundo at minuto, pabilis nang pabilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Pinanonood ko lang ang boss ko na isa-isahin ang mga empleyado sa front rows namin, hanggang sa magsimula na siyang kamayan ang mga kasama ko sa row na ito.

Fuck this shit.

Tumikhim ako ng ilang ulit at nagbuga nang nagbuga ng buntonghininga bago inayos ang sarili. I made myself looked uninterested like he was a stranger to me so that he won't say anything about that fucking night.

Ugh! I hate seeing men I had one-night stands AGAIN. I just don't feel at ease at all.

Nang makarating siya malapit sa akin, sa katabi ni Queenie sa other side, nagtama ang paningin namin. I almost looked away--gladly, I did not. Saglit lang din dahil nakipagkilala na siya kay Dian. Then next is Queenie.

"Hi, sir! You looked so good! I'm Queenie. It was so nice to finally meet you!" masayang sabi ni Queenie habang nakikipagkamay.

Sir Hinter smiled. "Nice to meet you, Queenie."

Tumango ito sa kan'ya bago siya naglakad papalapit sa akin saka naglahad ng kamay. Tumayo ako at tinanggap ang alok niyang pakikipagkamay.

"It was so nice to meet you, sir," I said in my very professional tone.

He smirked before holding my ID with his free hand to read my name. I gulped. He looked at me with a grin still on his lips.

"It was very nice to meet you, Areeya Cervantes."

👠

It's been six days since Super Typhoon hit my hometown--Gapan City, Nueva Ecija--and wala pa rin supply ng power and good internet speed. :<

Still, medyo may signal ngayon, so here's a long chapter for you! I hope you'll enjoy it. ✨

-mari 🌻