Trigger warning: this part contains explicit description of torture. Please be objective while reading.

Jay's POV

I have seen some crazy people out there but non like Scarlet, she's different on another level. She finally followed me. She checks out my stories but she doesn't like or comment, she's more of a stalker. If it was another girl I'd be concerned but she seems harmless.

My holiday was going to be a busy one. I was going to promote my Instagram page and my Soundcloud. Music needs a lot of hard work, anybody can rap so you don't want to be an once of like everybody else. You want to be the best in the game and you have to stay at the top.

I really wanted to make the holiday all about my music, writing editing and promoting. Some things you just have to do yourself otherwise you're going to sit and wait on emty promises.

In life to achieve something, you have to think about the goal then take action to achieving it. I don't know why but I felt like life was going to get better. I felt a new dawn arising, like the dark hour has passed and I was finally going to see the light.

My aunt thought it would be a good idea if we invited family over for a small gathering. I didn't think that it was a good idea because I knew how everyone didn't get along that well.

My mom, dad, and other family members came over. We had a braai and some snacks and five of my cousins came over.

My parents are divorced and it's really awkward when they're together because they can't even look at each other or be in the same place at once.

One thing I learnt from my mother is that you should never overstay a toxic situation because it'll diminish you as a human being and torture your soul.

My father was verbally abusive and a little physical too. I wasn't proud of him or his actions, he depressed me and that took away both mine and my sister's childhood happiness.

I can't judge him because I'm not any better, I smoke and don't even do great in school. I might smoke but I'm  far more better than my father, at least I treat people with respect or ignore them.

My aunt did an amazing job taking care of my sister and I while my mom gets on her feet, both my parents send in money, other times food too. They even go out with us.

As much as I wanted to sneak out with my cousins and go for a smoke and drinks I had to speak to my mom. I could see the sadness in her eyes. Being around my father drains her energy it takes a lot of her strength, she can't stand him.

"You okay?" I asked comforting her, I am super sensitive when it comes to my mom and that's one good thing that came out of that situation, it made me a good person. "I'm okay Jay, it's not him, just that I haven't had a break from work so I'm pretty tired but don't worry I'll get some rest." I was glad that my father wasn't causing my mom's weakness.

I did feel sorry for her though she's always fighting and working so hard. She deserved a break. We all need a break from time to time, not just from our day to day activities but also from life. Life can be exhausting and that needs you to take a break and let out a sigh of relief.

Maybe my mom let out a sigh of relief when she divorced my dad, it might've been painful but not as painful as the situation. I didn't care if my mom replaced him as long as the person respected her and cared for her. She deserved love and happiness too, so do all the other women who've been in abusive relationships, they're not just victims they're victors and they've conquered a war.

Obviously with my cousins around we were going to be up to mischief, two of them were younger so they hung out with my sister while I chilled with the other three our age gap wasn't too far apart so we got along well.

"It's been long Jazz." Maisen says, he is the oldest of us and he always teases my name. He says it's too short and I can't even get a nickname. He says that it's just the letter J written out. We always laugh about it.

"Yeah I know right, it's going to be even longer." I responded, "Don't worry bro, I'll be around." I looked happy but on the inside I wasn't excited, some people you can only tolerate for a certain amount of time, him - an hour is enough

"I'm kidding I'll be at my place." he said. "Medicine!" my aunt shouted. We all laughed, she was calling my cousin Madison, her name was so weird because 'medicine' and 'Madison' kind sound the same. "Remember when she told her boyfriend her name was Maddy. And he asked what was her full name and she said that was it and he didn't believe her so he called her Mandy." Lyson said, the story was true and we laughed at Madison's reaction as she went to my aunt.

"Help me serve everyone." aunt said to Maddy. "If you can't say M-a-d-i-son then say Maddy." Madison mumbled softly while taking the tray of food.

The food was just amazing, so tasty and delicious. My aunt was a very good cook and I knew my mom helped too because she made the salad and it was perfection. "This is lovely!" my father commented, everyone turned to him in surprise, he wasn't the talking type. It's either the food was great or he was just being polite, I never know when it comes to him.

When we were done then my aunt served us custard and jelly with ice cream and a platter of snacks. Madison took the stuff to my room and the boys and I all followed. Everyone was outside listening to adult tunes, not literal adult stuff just their type of music.

"Why are we here?" Lyson asked. "We need to let out some things, we never do, we always have on facades and pretend we're happy but we haven't let go, I haven't let go. We need to have this conversation now because we might never get to have it again." her tone was low but emotional. "We've all been through a lot and it's affecting us today, right now!" she continued on.

"Yeah, I hate seeing my father here, I remember all that crap that he did." I stated, we weren't drunk or high so we were definitely in a state of mind of having the conversation. "You know that our childhood was traumatizing but you've never heard it from us." Madison said, her and her brother, Lyson had to watch their father being tortured to death in front of them. That's all I knew, we were never given any details as to why or what happened that led to that event.

"So as you don't know, papa was in a gang, coke dealers and at some point competition got high. This wasn't a prob since he was respected." she explained. "The gang too." Lyson continued this was new information but not surprising I always knew that he was a "hustler".

"Yeah so this mob leader was jealous and decided to get him assassinated. My mom's out and this guy comes to our house. I was in my room and Lyson and dad were watching TV together." she paused for a breather, she looked down, and there were tears in her eyes.

"This guy came, gun set and he threatened us, two more guys follow and they check the house then one of them brought Maddy downstairs. They took us outside to the garage and tied my dad to a chair." Lyson explained, I held Madison's hand to comfort her and Lyson carried on, "They took a knife and cut his chick, they made us watch while they tortured him. Sad part is, there was nothing we could do. They laughed as if someone told a really funny joke. They punched him and stabbed him until his body gave up. He was weak, that we could both see. The laughter was gone, all I could hear was my sister weeping next to me. Our mouths were both tied up, so we couldn't scream. I started crying too, no one could save him. It was late night. All lights out and a few TVs on. People were in bed while we watched our dad die. They forced us to open our eyes while they each took a stab. First one on the left, right by the heart. It wouldn't be a lie that I felt it. Second one in the stomach and third one in the back. Third one was a sign that the stabber was an acquaintance of my dad."

Madison finally looked up and tightened her grip on my hand, "At least mom wasn't there, they would've done unspeakable horrors to her. They left us unharmed but only physically. They left an emotional wound on us a mental wound that could never go away. And a hole in our hearts at the loss of our dad. They just left us there. Crying our hearts out and screaming. I called mom as soon as I was able too. Seeing her made me swallow my heart. It went right into my stomach."

"I thought I wouldn't say anything." Maisen said "But now I'm really emotional. It was sad for me to cry myself to sleep or to hear my mother cry herself to sleep. That man cheated and hit me too. He used to bring women to our house. Get drunk and intake drugs right in front of us. I was there when my mom tried to commit suicide. She couldn't leave because she needed the financial support. I don't want to say much because then the stuff replays in my head. I'm depressed because of it.  Life is getting better for me and my mom. Jay, I know it's not easy but you have to quite weed, to prove that you were the better man." I wanted to respond to him but I didn't have the words and Madison held me back.

"Yeah we're all survivors we didn't let our situation take us down, we took it on. We're survivors. We went through hell, but here we are still standing and telling our stories. We've overcome a lot and we need to empower ourselves even more to accomplish our goals and tell our stories so that others may be inspired to fight. And inspired to get out of toxic situations and that a bad experience shouldn't break you." she was right, we'd come very far. Her exercise of opening up made everyone feel better and relieved.

I had to stop smoking we all had to do that. If I didn't then all that fighting and working would've been for nothing. I needed to change, for me, and for my mom. I didn't want to disappoint her by becoming an addict.

Author's note

I was definitely emotional when describing all the traumatic experiences that my characters went through. I was just imagining them but there are people out there going through something like what I've described. Abuse and drugs are two of societies biggest problems and we should all help in any way we can, even if it's just supporting a friend. Gang related violence is also an issue that needs to be addressed.

Having something bad happen to you can definitely cause mental illness or violent reactions or even anxiety and stress.