Her dreams were dark and her footsteps heavy. Everywhere she looked there was only that same, impenetrable darkness. She moved through it at as if pushing against a water current, taking one step forward and feeling herself pushed back two. Nothing existed but her and the darkness.

    Then, out of nowhere, came a voice, cold as night. "You're one of us now," it said, and a piercing pain hit her shoulders, then her chest, and finally her stomach. She cried out, the pain flames burning her from the inside out.

    "No! I'm not one of you!" Her voice echoed around her – one of you, one of you, one of you. The darkness, unfaltering, pressed in on her.

    When she woke her mouth still tasted of blood.

    "Are you done thrashing?" a disgruntled Beetlepaw asked. Yet, her voice was missing its usual bite, kinder than Lightpaw remembered it.

    "Have some water," Charlie said, flicking his tail at a round object sitting on the floor.

    Despite the heaviness she felt, Lightpaw forced herself to her paws. The body of the tom had been removed from the room but his blood, dark and crusted over, remained. She averted her eyes quickly, bile suddenly hitting her throat. The water did little to remove its taste.

    "Some freshkill for you too," Minerva said, eyeing the dead rat between them. "I doubt you've ever had dry food so I took the liberty of hunting it down."

    Lightpaw's stomach growled but the thought of eating made her want to retch. She took a tentative bite, motioning for Beetlepaw to join her. Her littermate dug in without protest.

    "Thank you," Lightpaw said, finishing her meal after the third small bite. Her stomach roiled and her chest felt constricted. Beetlepaw echoed her thanks with a mouthful of rat still in her jaws.

    "Where are you off to now?" Pearl asked curiously. Her kit slept peacefully, her mother's fluffy tail curled around her.

    Lightpaw did not respond right away. She sat numb, unsure of where her paws should be taking her. What was her mission? Her purpose? What things would she have to do in order to fulfill them? She sheathed and unsheathed her claws, the memory of fur and flesh between them all too fresh.

    "We need to find the rebels," Beetlepaw replied for her. "They're our only remaining kin now that DarkClan has cast us out."

    Charlie and Minerva exchanged a look, as if considering their options. Finally, Minerva heaved a sigh and Charlie practically beamed.

    "I can take you as far as the lake where they train and hunt," Charlie said. "But from there you must find your own way."

    "That's very kind of you," Beetlepaw purred, finishing off the last of the rat. Lightpaw nodded mutely in agreement, forcing herself to look anywhere but at the blood stains.

    "I suppose there's not much use sitting around and waiting," the tabby tom continued. "Perhaps we should be off soon?"

    The blood on the floor was too prominent for Lightpaw to look away any longer. The events of the previous night flashed before her eyes – the pain in her shoulders as the tom pinned her down; the fear as she saw him nearing Beetlepaw, ready to kill; the warmth of his blood in her jaws before the cold limpness of his body took over.

    "Lightpaw?" Beetlepaw's voice had that harsh ring to it again.

    "We should leave as soon as possible," Lightpaw managed to croak out.

    "That's what I thought too," Beetlepaw said, her usual smugness ringing through.

    //

    The Twolegplace seemed endless as the two apprentices followed their tabby guide over wooden walls and through snow drifts. The air had turned colder in the span of a day and Lightpaw found her breath misting before her.

    "Leafbare is the worst," Beetlepaw said decidedly. Lightpaw did not have the strength to fight her. She was thankful for the cold pressing against her paws, keeping the memories of warm flesh beneath them at bay.

    "It's not so bad in the Twolegplace," Charlie replied, trying to be conversational. "Most of the buildings keep the wind away, and there are many warm places to hide."

    "Must be nice," Beetlepaw snarked. The tabby did not deem her comment worthy of a reply.

    The sun, though nearly obscured by clouds, was low in the sky by the time they arrived at a wide expanse of land, broken up by a lake and a copse of trees. The water was completely frozen over, the tree branches laden with fresh snow. Lightpaw, so lost in her thoughts on their trek, only now realized there were snowflakes falling around her.

    "This is as far as I go," Charlie said. "The trainees come here often, so I have no doubt they've left a trail back to camp. Good luck!" He flicked his tail over Beetlepaw's ears, much to her chagrin, and moved to do so to Lightpaw as well.

    Instead, he lay his tail on her back, almost in a fatherly way, and said, "Take care of yourself out there, okay?" The tortoiseshell nodded, meeting his eyes with her own. She hoped he knew how grateful she was for his help.

    Beetlepaw wasted no time in scenting out the trainees' trail. Despite the softly falling snow, a large path had been cut through the snowdrifts.

    "Stick to the plan," Beetlepaw hissed, moving forward. "DarkClan kicked us out and this is the only place we could go." Lightpaw followed, muttering her agreement.

    The black she-cat jumped up onto the wooden wall before them. Looking back at her littermate, she continued, "Oh, and keep up that stricken look. Makes us being run out look very believable."

    They did not speak again as they continued along.

    As the sun sank ever lower to the horizon, Lightpaw started to shiver. Her paws ached and her mind whirred with never-ending repeats of the previous night. She could hardly stand with the disgust bubbling in her. The she-cat shook her head violently for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, trying to clear the images.

    "We're getting closer," Beetlepaw whispered excitedly. Indeed, the scents of the alley cats had grown stronger. Until now, Lightpaw had let her littermate do most of the tracking work.

    "Who goes there?" The voice was sharp but, to Lightpaw, strangely familiar. A small black shape appeared out of the thickening snowfall.

    "We've come to join the alley cats," Beetlepaw called with authority.

    "Well, we'll see about that." The golden eyes settled on Beetlepaw first, then Lightpaw. They widened, their white rims moving up in surprise. Then, they turned to slits.

    "What are you doing here?"

    Beetlepaw's confidence was gone, her stance lowered and claws unsheathed. Lightpaw fur rose and she copied her sister's defensive position.

    "DarkClan ran us out for refusing to kill," Beetlepaw explained. "We didn't know where to go, but knew the rebels would be here. You're our only remaining kin, our only chance of survival."

    Nightchaser – so similar to the image Lightpaw had seen in her dream – did not sheathe his claws. "Then why do I smell blood on you?"

    Lightpaw glanced down at her paws, which she had neglected to clean in her shocked state.

    "We were attacked on our way here," Beetlepaw said, voice wavering. "We had to defend ourselves."

    Nightchaser snarled. "You killed someone."

    "In self-defense!" Beetlepaw assured him, but the black tom did not move.

    "You're one of them." He looked ready to pounce.

    "Nightchaser, there you are!" A new dark shape emerged from the snowfall, followed by another. The first had eyes the colour of evergreens; the other indigo blue.

    "And who might our guests be?" The green-eyed she-cat looked at the two apprentices expectantly.

    "Intruders," hissed Nightchaser. The dark she-cat placed a paw in front of him, as if to keep him from pouncing. She continued to gaze the apprentices.

    Lightpaw realized she knew this cat. "Sprucetail?" she asked hesitantly.

    The she-cat seemed to relax. "Lightpaw, Beetlepaw. Why are you here?"

    "DarkClan ran us out for refusing to kill," Beetlepaw explained again. "We didn't know where to go, but knew the rebels would be here. You're our only remaining kin, our only chance of survival."

    "They have blood on them," Nightchaser hissed.

    "We were attacked, it was self-defense," Beetlepaw said quickly, keeping her eyes on Sprucetail. Lightpaw looked at the she-cat too, willing her to believe their story.

    "They're DarkClan cats," Nightchaser snarled.

    Sprucetail laid a tail on his back. "So were we, once." Her voice sounded far away. Somehow, this made Nightchaser's shoulders fall and his claws slid into their sheathes.

    "I need to be alone," he said, disappearing before anyone could say another word. Sprucetail watched him go, though Lightpaw kept her eyes on her all the while.

    "I apologize for Nightchaser's behaviour," the older she-cat said once the tom was out of ear shot. "He's been increasingly difficult lately." She looked uncomfortable, as if unsure of what to make of the events.

    "Let us take them back to camp," Indigo suggested. "Bronco and Roxanne will be curious as to what they know about DarkClan." Sprucetail nodded her agreement.

    Lightpaw stepped forward but Beetlepaw held back, hesitant.

    "We won't hurt you," Sprucetail assured. "Come, I'm sure you're hungry and aching for a warm, dry nest."

    Those were terms not even Beetlepaw could disagree with, and the two apprentices followed the she-cats into the midst of the alley cats.

    //

    After a brief interrogation by Bronco and Roxanne, two tabby littermates who seemed to be the leader and deputy of the alley cats, Sprucetail made good on her promise. Still, Lightpaw felt ill at ease. With the promise of further interrogation tomorrow and the thought of Nightchaser, who was clearly not the Nightchaser she remembered, prowling about, Lightpaw found it hard to fall asleep. Beetlepaw snored lightly in the nest next to hers.

    The longer she stayed awake, the more difficult it was to keep the images of the previous night at bay until, finally, Lightpaw felt she couldn't hold them back any longer. The pain and guilt flooded over her, taking her under until all she saw was darkness. When she opened her eyes again, she was surprised to find the sun rising.

    "You really need to stop squirming all night," Beetlepaw huffed, "or I'm going to have to find myself a new nestmate." Lightpaw scowled, but apologized all the same. At the moment, Beetlepaw was all she had.

    She got up from her nest which, to her dismay, looked as if a strong wind had blown it apart. She would have to fix it before night fell. For now, she left the shelter of the den Sprucetail had put them in, and stretched in the low rays of the rising sun.

    The camp was already busy, with what looked like a patrol preparing to leave. She noticed a grey tom, similar in build to Smoketalon, pacing as he waited. There were scars on his shoulder – the marks of a DarkClan warrior.

    Beside him sat a small grey tom, so small Lightpaw wondered if he was just an overgrown kit. His hazel eyes, full of life, briefly met hers and he cocked his head to the side curiously before a cream tom distracted him. Troubled, Lightpaw looked away. For some reason, the small tom looked incredibly familiar.

    She chanced another glance as the patrol moved out, having been joined by a large black and white tom and a brown tom with a thick tail. She noticed that only one member of the patrol – the grey tom she had noticed earlier – bore the marks of a DarkClan warrior. The small familiar-looking one limped along with the patrol and Lightpaw realized he had a stunted back leg.

    She stared at it in shock. How could an apprentice possibly survive with a deformity? He would never pass his assessments.

    "Time for more questions," Beetlepaw said dryly, cutting into Lightpaw's thoughts. Sprucetail was approaching them, tail high in the air.

    "There will be more of us today," Sprucetail said as she lead them to a secluded area of the camp. "Just reply honestly and nothing will happen to you." Beetlepaw and Lightpaw exchanged a meaningful look.

    They were sat across from five cats – Bronco, Roxanne, and Sprucetail, who they had met already, and two she-cats, one grey and one white with tortoiseshell splotches.

    "You are from DarkClan?" Bronco began.

    "Yes," the two she-cats replied in unison.

    "Your names are Beetlepaw and Lightpaw?"

    "Yes."

    "DarkClan cast you out?"

    "Yes."

    "For what reason?"

    "For refusing to kill," Beetlepaw replied.

    "And why did you smell of blood when you were found?"

    "It was in – "

    Bronco raised his tail to silence Beetlepaw and looked intently at Lightpaw. She realized he was waiting for her to answer.

    "It was in self-defense," she finally said. "We were attacked on our way here."

    "Are there any witnesses to this event?" he asked.

    "Charlie and Minerva," Lightpaw said.

    "And Pearl and her kit," Beetlepaw added.

    "Did you kill this cat in self-defense?" Roxanne continued.

    Lightpaw hesitated. Sprucetail had told her to be honest, but surely admitting to killing a cat after being cast out for refusing to do so would look strange. She found the she-cat's eyes, who nodded her support.

    "Yes."

    "How was it different than what DarkClan asked you to do?"

    The space felt suddenly smaller and Lightpaw's chest constricted. She thought back to the tortoiseshell Dawnstar brought into the camp and had the whole Clan butcher, then to the limp black body of Jet.

    "D-DarkClan brought in prisoners, cats who h-had done nothing wrong. We refused to b-be part of that." Lightpaw paused to gather her thoughts. "The cat I..."

    She trailed off, unable to say it out loud.

    Beetlepaw stepped in front of her. "You can't ask this of her. She did it to save me, she – "

    Bronco hushed Beetlepaw with his tail once more. "The cat you killed," he prompted.

    Killed. I killed him. The metallic taste flooded her mouth, the memory of his blank, staring eyes.

    "H-he was on top of me. And, suddenly, he was on top of Beetlepaw, who had knocked him away. A-and I saw him going for her throat, ready to..." That murderous gleam in his eyes, the red haze that filled her in that moment.

    "Kill," Bronco supplied.

    Lightpaw felt herself trembling.

    "He was ready to rip my throat out and Lightpaw threw herself at him and killed him," Beetlepaw snarled. "Are we done here?"

    Her voice dripped with menace and even Bronco seemed taken aback.

    "I believe so," he said slowly. "You're welcome to stay, especially after your ordeal. You're also welcome to join training with the other trainees, as I assume you never finished your training with DarkClan."

    "We'll consider it," Beetlepaw replied, though her tone suggested they would not take anything into consideration. Lightpaw just nodded mutely, throat feeling too tight to speak.

    Before Beetlepaw could whisk her littermate away, the grey she-cat and her white and tortoiseshell companion approached.

    "I think some chamomile and thyme might do your littermate good," the grey one said to Beetlepaw softly. "She seems to be in quite a bit of shock."

    For once, Beetlepaw did not put up a fight.

// TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE WEEKEND?! Well, today I'm thankful for all the readers who have stuck around despite my terrible updates these last couple of months. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!