Shadows were stubborn.

Pollux glanced up from his notes as she groaned again in frustration, still unable to form the shadows into a being that could deliver messages for her.

"You're only giving yourself a headache," he reasoned. "Will told you not to overdo it. You don't even know if this is possible."

"I'm not giving up," she replied. "I might be able to find Percy like this– I can't just ask Hylla for the location and Jason still doesn't remember. If I can send shadows out like this, I can communicate with my siblings, too. I could reach out to my mother. I want to talk to her again now that I've made peace with my family."

"It's been three months. She's not popping into your dreams, so maybe she doesn't want to be seen. Or maybe you don't have the power to do that."

She scowled at him. "I had the power to keep Porphyrion from rising, I unleashed Tartarus on earth. I should be able to at least call my mother's spirit into my dreams! Or at least form a shadow self to go and look while I'm here."

"Your mom could be keeping the shadows from exiting," said Pollux. "No offense but she's like, way stronger than you."

"You're so helpful, Pollux."

"Hey, it's not like you're helping me with my pre-college prep!"

"I'm helping you by letting you be here. Not my fault that you can only focus here 'cause I keep you on task. In your cabin, you find any excuse to Iris-message Krista and–"

He shushed her, cheeks red. "Hey! Can you not?"

"What?" She smirked, wiggling her eyebrows. "You said it was nothing inappropriate, why does it matter if you call her?"

"Shut up. Get back to your task."

She rolled her eyes and extended her hands again, concentrating the shadows into the shape of a person. She slowed her breathing, imagining Percy in her mind. She envisioned the shadow slipping through the darkness, materializing in California and spreading through the East Bay, concentrating near the Caldecott Tunnel, reaching tendrils out to grab at something familiar, a light in the dark.

Pressure began to build in her chest but she continued pushing. She'd once used shadows to find people who were upset, who held resentment, she'd let them carry a message of discord that coiled victims back to where she was like a yo-yo. Surely this wasn't that different?

She opened her eyes to see if the shadow had a form, but saw only darkness. The entire cabin was pitch black with nothing to see in any direction. Pollux wasn't there– she couldn't sense him nearby. She couldn't even move.

"You have limits, you know," crooned her mother's voice in her ear.

"Now you answer?" demanded Emilia, instinctively frustrated as Eris floated out from behind her, seating herself across from Emilia– well, hovering with her legs crossed. "I've been trying to get a hold of you."

Eris raised a brow, the darkness flooding into her hair as it rippled in the breeze, revealing that they were seated together outside a café, as if nothing was wrong. It was daytime in this busy city; maybe Los Angeles again. She'd mentioned an appreciation for it before.

"Not for a good reason," said Eris pensively. "You're trying to bring me to your side."

"I'm just playing the same game you're making an attempt at," said Emilia, as patiently as she could. "If you get to tell me the benefits of joining Gaea, I get to tell you the benefits of abandoning her."

Eris hummed. "And you think you're better than us now, but you sound as manipulative as we do. Very well, child, we can play this game. You must've thought about Gaea's offer a great deal if you went to San Diego. It only hurts your family more for you to have gone."

"Why? You'll hurt them just because I care about them? That's not really your style. Besides, they're mortals. They hold no value. Leaving them unharmed is essential to your argument. If you hurt them, it draws me further away. If you let them live and remind me of what I could have long-term, well, it helps you, doesn't it?"

She smirked. "That's not what I mean at all. See, you believe you're a hero, little one. You think you are willing to sacrifice them and everyone else you love to save the world. But I've seen your rage when people you care about are harmed. I think you'd really prefer to let the world burn to save your friends and family. I can applaud that. But you don't trust easily and you're forcing yourself to pull it all together because you think it leaves you without weaknesses. Instead of helping your family, you're giving them someone they will miss if anything happens to you. You're creating a strained relationship for yourself. Soon, you'll realize you can't stand them. Because you don't know them as well as you think you do. You'll realize how conniving mortals can be and you will resent them. Not to mention you're involving them in a dangerous world for selfish reasons. You saw how mad Piper's father became when he learned the truth. You risk them falling down that same path."

"They won't," she said firmly. "I can keep them safe and still save the world. No one needs to get hurt. Not even you. Seriously, what has Gaea actually done for you? Forced you into creating a child with an unsuspecting man but still left you to rot in Tartarus until now when she needs you again. She's just using you. Once she doesn't need you, she will shove you back into Tartarus. She doesn't care about you any more than the gods do. Nemesis, you know why she came to this side? Because the gods acknowledged they messed up. Those gods you hate, they let me live."

Eris was serious, and Emilia continued, "After the war, they could've executed me. It's what I would've done if I were in their place. I wouldn't have taken that risk with any of the demigods who served Kronos. But they let me live because Percy Jackson made them realize how unfair they'd been to their children. Hades, Iris, Nemesis, Hypnos, Tyche, Hecate, Nike, Hebe, and Eris are being acknowledged at Camp with cabins for their children. Those other gods are even given a place in Olympus now and yet you continue to bitch about your own situation... did you even try to talk to any of them now that you're out of Tartarus?"

"I am not one to grovel," said Eris hotly. Emilia was glad to be getting somewhere. "I won't demand attention from the Olympians. They've been fools for millennia, child, you cannot possibly understand it. You think you know me, you think you know what really goes into every choice we make, every monster we release. But you don't. You have a fragile mind, it's what Kronos saw in you."

"Hmm." Emilia tilted her head. "If I have such a fragile mind, why do you want me?"

"You're my daughter. Your rightful place is beside me."

"I am your daughter. Your only daughter. A daughter you didn't get to raise because of her. Whatever I am, it's not thanks to you, it's thanks to the gods you hate so much. No one struck me down and even now they celebrate me as a hero. I'm not saying they aren't selfish. But doesn't Gaea strike you as selfish, too? She denied you a chance to be involved in my life... it made me think of you as neglectful. It made me rope you in with the other gods when Kronos manipulated me. The only reason I didn't hate you was because he said we'd free you from Tartarus. But now that I think of it... you could've come out earlier. Your patron didn't let you or maybe you didn't let yourself. You're just as bad of a parent as they are."

Eris looked ready to strangle her, the shadows surging to her as if to grab hold, but not quite making it to her. The goddesses' hands reached out without making it to her. Emilia hummed, "You say you don't know what'd happen if I died, but I think I serve a purpose to you. You're using other methods to sway me because you can't just snatch me up... you can't touch me, can you? That's the second time you've reached out to me but you just can't make it. I bet it's difficult for you to even be in my dream, isn't it? Why? What significance do I hold for you and your patron? Tell me the truth."

Anger flared in her mother's eyes, but before she could respond, the shadows swallowed them both.

She didn't reappear in her cabin. She was in another café, but this one was filled with cats of all kinds. She looked down at a tabby that purred at her feet, a calico climbing onto her lap and curling up without a single worry.

There was one other woman there, seated on the opposite end of the room. As she looked up, her warm green eyes wrinkled at the corners, a kind smile flashed toward Emilia. She had long, dark curly hair sweeping her shoulders, dressed like a queen with a regal floral gown that did not fit the setting they were in.

"You're too kind to be Gaea," said Emilia, narrowing her eyes at the woman as she carefully caressed the calico. She looked similar to the sleeping woman but... not quite. "But you're definitely not human."

"Oh, heavens no," said the woman with a sweet laugh. The sound should've put Emilia at ease, but she wasn't sure she was even safe here. "This won't be long, my girl, I just needed to get you out of that dream to tell you a few things about your mother."

"Who are you?" asked Emilia. "What... is your relationship to her?"

"Eris is my cousin," said the woman. "I am Rhea, daughter of Gaea."

Emilia's jaw dropped. "Rhea... like... Kronos's wife?"

She nodded. "Unfortunately that is true. I linger so far from the world, in a place of my own. Close enough to check in on my children but far enough from the others like me."

Emilia wanted to snap at her, wanted to demand why she hadn't done anything to stop Kronos, why she was here now when she didn't ask for her. Rhea seemed to understand this, because she sighed. "I don't involve myself if I can help it. Only when it is extremely necessary do I give advice to those most in need of it. I can induce fertility and tranquility, I can make felines do whatever I wish. But there isn't much else, I'm afraid, aside from the abilities all Titans have. It's not enough to overpower my siblings. I am not skilled in combat and I could not stop my husband with my own hand the first time it became necessary."

She smiled at the cats as they began to move toward her, even the calico who'd been so comfortable on Emilia's lap. They all demanded attention, rubbing over Rhea and begging her to pet them. "My husband was always a difficult man. We were happy, for a time. He thought I'd make him a better man but... he soon became as abusive as our father. You know, it was my mother who gave me the idea to birth Zeus on Crete so he might save his siblings. I don't know at what point it all changed and she became... something else entirely. I was powerless to stop it. Now I am here to warn you. I know what will happen but I cannot say it. I can only give you one important task that you must complete to tip the balance in your favor."

"A task?" asked Emilia suspiciously. She didn't feel like running errands for this woman.

"Yes," said Rhea. "I admit, I took a special interest in you because of what my husband did to you. I should've done more sooner. I saw what you survived and I've seen you begin a fight to turn your mother in the direction of the other gods. This is essential and it will benefit you greatly. Eris is sowing discord so great that Gaea's army is only growing. My mother is using her the way Kronos used you.

"As you know, the giants can only be defeated through the combined efforts of demigods and gods. When the time comes, your friends will have their parents at their side. Where will your mother be then? She cannot still be helping Gaea or you will all lose. Discord will be on her side and you will all be powerless to stop it. Soon, you will be forced to make a choice to help your friends... following them either to where you are strongest or where you are weakest. Eris cannot still be outside the pit helping my mother or their side will emerge victorious."

"What do you mean?" said Emilia softly. "That... that doesn't make sense."

Was she talking about how Eris would sow discord between the Greeks and Romans and Emilia had to put a stop to that as soon as possible? Was she talking about the Doors of Death being open? She'd investigated and found nothing helpful– whoever the other demigods were that would handle that, she wasn't sure if they'd even manage it. Or did it have more to do with Eris bringing chaos outside of the pit and overrunning the world with it? Emilia wasn't sure she could force all that back into Tartarus.

"It will, one day," promised Rhea. "Your mother, she can't touch you or she will be sent back to the pit instantly. You are her anchor here, too. It has to be her choice to go back and only then will she be able to come to your aid when you most need her. You must convince her to return to the Mansion of Night or all will be lost."

She had a million more questions that were left unanswered. The cats ran back to Emilia, needy little things swarming her until she felt so warm and fuzzy that the cat café disappeared.

When reality returned, she wasn't in her cabin. She was in the infirmary, and Will was dripping nectar into her mouth.

"You're awake!" he said happily. "Thank the gods. I thought you'd fried yourself."

Emilia blinked as he helped her sit up. "Did I actually pass out?"

"Yep. Pollux said you were trying it again. The shadow thing. Seriously, you're going to hurt yourself. You may be able to harness the darkness of Tartarus but it doesn't mean you should. You're bringing all this chaotic energy into yourself trying to make it flow through the world... it's really bad for you. I could feel your soul ready to shatter. You could've sent yourself right to the Pit."

"Won't do it again," she said weakly, only a half-promise. She'd try to find a way to contact her mother without having to resort to this. Why hadn't Rhea offered any other solutions? Why couldn't anyone just speak plainly when they gave advice?

Will narrowed his eyes. "Sure. You always say that."

"I'll try to mean it this time, I swear." She swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "I need to go now–"

Will pushed her back down. "Are you kidding? You're pale as snow, there's no way you can walk or even conjure shadows right now. You can rest. You'll miss the campfire but that's never been your favorite part."

He forced her to spend the night for observation, at least until it was dark enough that she was strengthened and able to walk around come morning. She couldn't sleep all night, thinking about Rhea and trying to interpret her task.

She'd made some progress with Eris. She knew why her mother couldn't touch her, she knew that there were ways of getting to her. But how would she actually pull her completely to their side? Would she need to recruit Hypnos and Nemesis to speak with her? Would she need to call Pollux's mother and her aunt to ask for more advice?

She didn't get any more rest come morning. She had to force Clovis to stay awake long enough to talk her through how she might potentially call Eris into her dreams without calling her attention using shadows. This could potentially be applied to finding Percy and communicating with her siblings– if she worked hard enough, she could attempt to slip her consciousness into their dreams to give them advice and otherwise just see them more often.

In the afternoon, Pollux and Piper teamed up to find her a dress that she could wear to her sister's quinceañera. Her father let her know that she could bring Hylla if she was able to make it, but unfortunately Hylla couldn't afford to leave Seattle. She said that something was stirring there, something that had yet to show its face.

"This is far too revealing," said Emilia, tilting her head as they held up a shiny satin starry blue dress. It had spaghetti straps– which was already pushing it, considering she was still getting used to the crop tops– and a slit that started just above mid-thigh. The only upside was that it didn't have a particularly interesting pattern on the back, which meant she could wear her hair down. "Besides, I'll ruin this fabric instantly."

"Lacy insists it has a charm that won't let it be ruined," explained Piper. "Besides, you're shadow-traveling right? You won't even wrinkle it in transit."

"We're generously assuming I've had enough practice to shadow-travel myself conscious and in one piece," said Emilia. "I might still splat into the first pile of mud I find."

"Doubtful," said Pollux, offering her the heels Piper chose. "Go, try it on."

With a heavy sigh, she gathered the dress and heels, ducking into the bathroom to change. She could already hear Pollux and Piper discussing accessories as if she wasn't going to still wear her apple necklace. She did, however, like one suggestion of golden arracadas on her ears.

As she walked out, Piper gave a squeal, clapping her hands. "Oh! It's so beautiful. Leo, Jason, come in!"

"Hey!" said Emilia indignantly as the cabin door opened to reveal more curious faces. "I wasn't told this would turn into a fashion show."

"It looks great!" said Leo. "Why are you complaining?"

She held out her arms. "I've never worn a dress like this, of course I'm complaining. I feel... naked."

"Don't tell me you prefer orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirts," teased Jason. "I'd be a little worried for you if you did."

She examined the fabric. "Well... I suppose it does feel nicer than that. What do I even do at the quinceañera? Last time I reached out, Alejandro said that Xochitl wants a dance with each of her siblings, including me."

Leo rubbed his head. "I mean... you'll just dance with her, right? It's not like you're going to leave her hanging. She's a kid."

Emilia narrowed her eyes. "She's your age! Oh, gods, I sound so old."

"That does make you sound old," said Pollux thoughtfully. When she glared at him, he shrugged, "Hey, I'm old, too. But Leo's right. You're going to dance with her. Just do whatever your brothers are doing. Sit with them, talk to their friends, play pretend, try to be nice to everyone. Go on, practice."

"Practice? I am being as nice as possible!"

"You can be a little nicer. Just so no one bothers you about it, be... a sunflower. Go on, try it. Try to be as bubbly as... uh..."

"Mellie," offered Jason. "She seemed the most... people oriented."

Emilia did her best to smile, straightening up and speaking the way Mellie had, "Hi! I'm Emilia."

Everyone flinched. "Nevermind," said Leo. "Don't... do that."

"Oh, come on, where did I mess up now?!"

"Well... it's a bit creepy because we know you're not actually like that. Lay off of her, Pollux. She's nice enough."

Emilia gestured to him in thanks as Pollux rolled his eyes. "Just a suggestion, I swear! Speaking of..." He looked at Piper, Jason, and Leo, "Did Emilia tell you the great news?"

Piper blinked. "What news?"

"Coach Hedge is going to be our chaperone on the quest," said Emilia dejectedly.

Leo and Jason made faces. "I know," she continued, "I was telling Chiron that we don't need a chaperone. I'm twenty years old, Annabeth is the second oldest and she's basically the most mature out of all of us. He insists it's necessary."

"Oh," said Piper. "This may be my fault. I think... well, each time I check in on my dad, I'm not too thrilled about this. Maybe he and Mellie are worried and they came up with this so Coach Hedge can check up on me. Chiron could easily pretend it's a matter of 'concern' about us all getting along."

"Not your fault," said Jason. "Speaking as someone who is... probably going to be in charge... we probably do need an actual adult there."

"Hedge?" asked Emilia. "An actual adult? Please." She slipped back into the bathroom, removing the dress and emerging once she had her Camp shirt back on. Leo was already occupied leveling out her bunk, Piper had begun to prepare a little bag with earrings and other necklaces, and Pollux and Jason were saying very loudly that Emilia should get another use out of her dress by visiting Hylla in Seattle.

She stood there for a moment, watching them. All of them together, they were a group of misfit toys. And in that group she'd found a home. She might never have given these people a second glance on the street, she might not have trusted them if she met them in high school. They were all so different yet they shared a suffering that allowed an empathy they'd been deprived of for a long time.

"I've seen your rage when people you care about are harmed," Eris had told her. "I think you'd really prefer to let the world burn to save your friends and family."

"Soon, you will be forced to make a choice to help your friends," Rhea had said. "Following them either to where you are strongest or where you are weakest."

Eris didn't have a family like this. Not anymore. Her closest siblings were working with the gods now; why would she want to go back to the Mansion of Night?

Emilia had a sinking feeling that her mother was going to have to face her demons in the same way she had by going to San Diego. She needed to convince her that family was possible in the same way her mother was trying to tell her that hers wasn't.

Did everything boil down to difficult choices?

Being a demigod was too much at times.