The next morning I woke up on the floor, leaning against my temporary bed with Nat and Wanda on either side of me. In Nat's hands, she was loosely holding some bandaging materials, and I realized I had forgotten about my leg during my panic attack last night. I remembered now. We had come back into my room to just sit and talk a little bit. Nothing about our pasts, though. That was the no-go zone. We talked about anything other than that. Nat and Wanda had told me about a bunch of different things they enjoyed that I should try someday, and I really enjoyed our conversation. A few minutes in Nat had noticed my leg was bleeding, so she got up and got me some bandages from the medical wing. It took a while, and I assumed it was just the journey, but Wanda thought she got caught up talking to the others. When Nat returned, I didn't question why Bruce was with her. He helped wrap my leg up for temporary help, and then he turned around and left.

After that we only stayed up for a few more minutes. I was the first to fall asleep, that much I remember. I'm pretty sure Wanda fell asleep before Nat, just based on her spy training and everything. Speaking of, Nat started to stir and woke up. She was wide awake pretty fast, and looked over at me and my still sleepy form.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly, her voice still getting used to the morning.

I nodded and cleared my throat before giving a verbal response. "I'm feeling a lot better. But..." I trailed off, thinking about how the rest of the team might feel after the incident of last night. Captain Rogers might understand better due to his connection with the former Winter Soldier, but that doesn't mean he'll want to. Mr. Stark also had a history of PTSD, so he might get it, but I had nearly killed him last night. There was no way he'd take my side after that. He probably wants to throw me out the damn window right now. The thing was, I couldn't blame him.

"Don't worry about the team. If you want, Wanda and I can talk to them about last night. You can be there or here, but we are going to talk to them," Nat confirmed, grabbing my hand for reassurance. I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

Wanda next to me finally woke up and looked at the two of us with a sleepy expression. "Morning," she slurred out, and Nat and I burst into laughter. Wanda joined us, and soon we were a bunch of idiots laughing on the floor. My dark blond hair fell into my face as I leaned forward in laughter. In the midst of our laughing, I barely heard the door open up, but I heard the person clearing their throat loud and clear.

We all calmed down and swept our hair out of our faces. I was still smiling wide, but when my peridot colored eyes met a pair of serious baby blue ones, my smile fled my face along with any happiness that I had just gathered. Nat cleared her throat and stood, Wanda following behind. They looked to Captain Rogers, and Wanda crossed her arms and stood in front of me slightly.

"What do you need Steve?" she asked him. Nat stood at her side casually, both hands tucked in her pajama pants pockets, while giving Captain Rogers a hard stare.

"Get dressed. Fury is here," he said, and Nat's head turned to Wanda, and then to me. This could only mean he found out about how I nearly killed Mr. Stark. He probably was going to take me to a secret SHIELD facility and hold me there. Better yet, he might as well take me back to Hydra. It's what I deserved.

The women looked back to Captain Rogers and nodded, and he left the room. The door stayed open, and Nat followed him. Wanda turned to me and said a little goodbye, then left the temporary room I was staying in. She closed the door for me. I stayed seated beside my temporary bed, thinking about how many awful things might happen to me.

I looked over to the desk and saw the little journal still on top. Remembering something Nat, Wanda, and I talked about last night, I scooted to the desk chair and pulled myself into it. The journal was navy blue with an interesting texture, and had gold lettering on the top center that said, "be happy" in cursive. It was cheesy, but will do. My eyes scanned the desk and found a pen and pencil as well, so I grabbed the pen and opened the journal.

The very first page had three lines in the top center, as well as a little thing that said, "This Journal Belongs To:". So, I wrote the only thing I ever saw in my only other journal.

"Reyna-Rose Silva. AKA Shadow Soldier. Do not look."

I thought it seemed pretty intimidating to leave at that, and I flipped to the next page. Blank, of course, so I started to write. It was strange at first, as I had only written things down when I was getting ready for a mission or was undercover and was to write something down to fit with my character. The letters came out weird and shaky at first.

"Day 1

Chére journal,

This is strange for me, as I had never written much of anything before. I just remember Wanda and Nat telling me about a few movies they liked with 'diaries' in them. When I asked, Wanda told me it was a good place to write down whatever I felt like I needed to spill but didn't want to tell others about. The concept is understandable, so I decided to give it a try.

Last night was my first night in the Avengers Tower. I was honestly surprised when I heard Mr. Rogers and Mr. Stark were okay with me staying here. Of course it all turned out to be a mistake. I had a horrific nightmare, so when I was being shaken to wake up, I grabbed Mr. Stark by the throat with my bionic arm. I nearly killed him. If Wanda hadn't been there, neither would Mr. Stark. After that happened, I had a panic attack...I thought I had finally out grown those...but I guess new environments brings new panics. The situation got worse when I just ran out of the suffocating room. I don't think they trust me anymore.

Trust. A strange concept, really. I was to trust and respect my superiors at Hydra, but they led me in the wrong direction and I was eventually being taught to kill the Avengers. People who took me in. My trust was pretty severed after that, but it was completely torn and thrown into a black hole when they kidnapped me in the middle of the night from my cell, and took me to the laboratory. That's when they replaced my arm, and gave me the headache they call a 'gift'. Now, I don't trust myself.

I want to tell myself I can trust Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff, but I'm still scared to do so. They've been nothing but kind to me, other than when Nat was a tad skeptical of me at first. But anyone would be really. I just want to get their trust...but how can I when I can't even trust my own instincts...my own mind...the soldier inside me."

I stopped writing when tears escaped my eyes and fell onto the paper. I shook my head and signed the date at the top in the right corner, then closed the journal. When I was going to put it in the corner of the desk, I thought better. What if someone came in, saw it, and just read it? This held personal things not even Wanda or Nat knew.

I looked around the room to try and find a good spot to hide the journal, when I saw the little tables next to the bed. They seemed to have drawers in them, so I hopped over to them and flopped onto my bed. I carefully rolled over to the one that was further from the door, and opened the drawer. It was empty inside, but I also noticed that the bottom of the drawer was moving a bit. When I lifted it, I found a secret little compartment, and dropped the journal in it. It was at least 6 inches deep, so I was able to fit other things in there as well. Not that I'd need to, it's just for reassurance I guess.

After placing the journal in, I placed the piece of wood back in as well and closed the drawer. I rolled back over to the desk to return the chair to it and sat there for a minute. What was going to happen to me? They were still in their meeting most likely, and I'd most likely be brought back to a Hydra facility so they could continue their torture on me. Hell, they've probably sent the Winter Soldier after me...unless he was still on hiatus.

My thought were interrupted as someone walked into the room. I snapped my head in that direction to see who it was, and saw Mr. Rogers and Director Fury at the door. To show respect and to get ready to leave, I stood up carefully (avoiding putting pressure on my injured leg) and nodded to them.

"Caption Rogers, Director Fury," I greeted meekly. Rather than greeting me back, Director Fury strode into the room confidently, and right to me. It scared me and I fell back into the chair.

He stopped right in front of me and looked into my eyes with his one good eye, and placed his hands on the arms of the chair, caging me in. "Don't 'Director Fury' me. You're lucky I'm not throwing you out now. You're also lucky that Agents Romanoff and Maximoff have taken a liking to you and don't want me to kick you out," he said, and a bit of relief washed over me.

"But," he continued, making my victory be short-lived, "you will stay in this compound, and I will keep an eye on you. If I see you step out of line even once, you're gone. Got it?" he asked, leaning closer. My entire body was shaking, but I managed to nod. Apparently, that wasn't good enough. "I need to hear you say it."

"Y-yes sir-r," I said quietly. He seemed content and left the room, Captain Rogers following close behind. They left the door open, but that didn't matter. I stared at the wall across from where I was sitting, and let silent tears roll down my face. There was no doubt: Director Fury scared me.

It felt I sat there for an eternity before someone brought me out of my trance. "Rey? Are you alright?" It was Wanda who asked me. Somehow, she wasn't scared to be near me or even touch me. I took what little comfort I could out of that.

"No, I'm not," I said softly, like a whisper. "Director Fury wants to see me dead, that much I could tell from his response to what I did. The worst part is I know I deserve it. I shouldn't get to stay here, Wanda. I need to leave so I can stop being a threat to everyone. I need to walk out of here and get out of all your hair...I know for a fact Captain Rogers and Mr. Stark would be happy about that," I said to her, my voice never really reaching an indoor talking volume. It stayed just below a whisper.

Wanda somehow seemed offended by what I said. "Reyna-Rose you don't deserve any of that, except to stay here. If any of us got kicked out after making one mistake, there wouldn't be any Avengers left," Wanda said, trying to comfort me.

That made me more upset. "But did any of you nearly murder someone?" I nearly yelled. Her eyes widened, and I realized what I did. I sat back as far as I could go into the chair and didn't say anything else. For about 20 more minutes, Wanda tried to talk to me, but I remained silent. She finally gave up and left the room.

She wanted me to stay. Nat probably wanted me to stay. But why? Was it so they could fix the damaged soul they picked up from a Hydra base they were attacking? Was it some sort of debt they owed since the Avengers helped them? No where in my mind did I think they actually wanted me to stay because I was enjoyable or earned a spot on the team. So why?

This place was suffocating, being surrounded by people who hated me and two who possibly like me. Inside I was terrified and shaking, getting flashbacks from my Hydra days. Outside, I was emotionless for my own protection. Cameras might be stuck around in secret corners of the room, so I had to cover up everything.

I started to plan. I needed to leave, and soon. Nighttime was my best bet, so I'd wait until three days to leave. It would be less conspicuous, and well, I'd be less likely to run into any agents stationed to make sure I didn't leave.

I got up onto my crutches and hobbled over to the bed and sat down. I had never changed from waking up in the pajamas Nat had lent me, so there was no need to change. My crutches got stationed next to the bed and I tucked myself into the covers. They were ice cold, but felt nice somehow.

By some miracle I was able to fall asleep and have not as extreme nightmares that night.