Chapter 16

We were back home by Friday.

Every time I thought back to the past five days we spent at the beach, I could only break into grins and giggles. If it had been only Aaron and me, the week would have been peaceful. But it wasn’t and it was mainly thanks to Jess and Ronnie

“You should sleepover,” Aaron told me for the hundredth time.

We were parked outside of my apartment and Aaron was looking at it with disdain. We had made a quick stop at his apartment after we arrived.  He was going to pick up his car to come and drop me off and he had been trying to convince me to sleepover.  

“You haven’t gotten sick of me yet?” I teased.

“Never,” he said dramatically, putting a hand over his heart.

I rolled my eyes at him but couldn’t hold in my laughter.

“That’s good to hear. I’m still staying here. I have to clean up and wash clothes,” I told him, scrunching up my nose when I thought about the work that was waiting for me.

“You can do that later. We still have the whole weekend before classes start,” Aaron said pleadingly.

“Why don’t you sleep over? That way we can still hang out and I can get things done,” I said, already feeling like it was a bad idea.

I knew Aaron would end up being a distraction. Ever since we officially started dating, we had basically been inseparable.

We weren’t together during the night though, because it felt strange to sleep with him in the same bed. I had done it before when we were just friends and nothing had ever happened between us.

Now that we were dating, it felt more personal. I had to beg him for separate sleeping arrangements every night during the trip. I offered to take the couch in the hotel room, but he didn’t let me. Instead, he camped out on the floor.

When I woke up in the morning, Aaron was always cuddled up with me in bed.

“Okay, that works for me,” Aaron said with a smile.

He hopped out of the car and came to open my door.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Aaron asked.

We were in my room each doing our own thing. He was setting up his laptop on my desk and plugging in his charger while I was putting away clean clothes and some new shirts I bought during the trip.

I was distracted for a few seconds when Aaron took off his shirt. I had been admiring his body way too much during the trip. It didn’t exactly help that he was shirtless most of the time for the past five days.

“Give me that shirt, I’ll wash it with my load,” I told him, nodding at the shirt in his hands.

Aaron had changed into it early in the morning, but he and Ronnie had been running around the beach. They wanted to take advantage of the last morning we were spending there.

Since we were staying in the apartment for the rest of the day, he was changing into a sleeveless shirt.

His cheeks were a shade of pink and his upper body had a light tan from the sun. I’d also gotten a tan, but it wasn’t as noticeable as Aaron’s.

I had to admit that Jess was the one who definitely showed signs of a beach trip. The day after Aaron and I arrived at the hotel, Jess had the not so brilliant idea of putting on sun tan lotion.

After just an hour or two in the sun, her skin was an angry red color from the sunburn. Ronnie and Aaron made fun of her so much for it. I had to hold in my laughter most times than not, but it was funny to see the deep shades of red covering most of her body.

She’d been wearing sun glasses at the time so that didn’t go down too well either.

“Annabel,” Aaron said my name, waving his hand in front of my face.

“You okay?” He asked, giving me a cheeky grin.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled, realizing that I had spaced out.

“The movie, do you want to watch it?”

“Yeah sure,” I mumbled.

“I’ll set up my Xbox and we can use Netflix,” he told me, while digging through his backpack.

He was carrying his Xbox, a few video games, and other electronics. I shook my head at him for that. He at least could have brought a change of clothes as well.

“Why did you bring your Xbox again?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh, uh…” He said, running a hand through his hair and messing it up.

“I’m just teasing, but seriously, do you ever part from that thing?”

“It’s my baby,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Aaron asked, changing the subject.

My TV was in the living room, so Aaron left to set up his system.

“Just pick one. A funny one,” I called back.

I was folding some clothes and putting things away, while Aaron was moving things around in the kitchen. All of my dirty clothes were already in the hamper, and some of it still had sand that I dragged back from the beach.

“Crap,” Aaron said, walking into the room.

“Oh my God, what happened?” I asked Aaron, rushing to his side.

His chest was bare and his shirt was wrapped around his hand.

“Are you okay?”

“I was making some subs,” he explained.

I shook my head at him but dragged him to the restroom either way.

“How did you do this?”

“I was cutting the bread and got distracted with the spider commercial. It’s funny.”

He was grinning, while I was cringing at his gash.

I had no idea how he managed to slice the palm of his hand.

“Should we go to the hospital?” I asked.

I was pouring disinfectant on the cut and Aaron wasn’t even complaining. He kept laughing and talking about the ‘spider commercial’.

“Na, it’s not that bad,” he said. I still wrapped it up with bands, which he complained about.

“This sucks though,” he said, holding up his bandaged hand.

The cut hadn’t been deep, but it seemed very scandalous with the amount of blood that poured out.

“Just be careful with your hand, I’ll finish up the sandwiches,” I told him while I cleaned up the mess I had made in the restroom.

“I have to work on some algorithms,” Aaron said after he left the restroom.

He was looking at his laptop longingly.

“Not tonight,” I shook my head at him.

He groaned, and sulked all the way out of the room. I was chuckling at his expression. He looked like a disappointed little kid who couldn’t play with his favorite toy.

After I finished preparing the subs, while Aaron was piling and piling ingredients, we left to the living room.

“I didn’t get to pick a movie yet. I was about to, but I got distracted with-” Aaron said before I interrupted him.

“The spider commercial,” I guessed.

The grin returned to his face after I spoke.

“Can I burrow one of those big t-shirts you sleep in?” He asked.

I nodded at him, while I picked up the remote control.

“I have some white and gray ones in the top drawer in the closet,” I told him.

I was hoping he would put on a t-shirt ever since he walked into the room with his hand bleeding. Even while I was cringing at the gash on his hand, I kept getting distracted by having him half naked.

“Hey,” Aaron said, plopping down next to me.

I was concentrated on the screen, going through the list of movies.

“I was thinking-” I stopped midsentence when my eyes landed on Aaron.

“You were thinking,” he said, motioning with his hand for me to continue.

I couldn’t remove my eyes from him and for a moment, it felt like time had stopped.

He was wearing one of Matt’s shirts.

“Where did you get that?” I asked him in a soft voice.

I was trying to keep my voice steady, although I could feel the light tremble in it.

“It was in that white box you have,” Aaron replied, not paying much attention to it.

“Did you pick a movie?” He asked.

“Take it off,” I told him.

My voice sounded harsher than I had intended, but seeing him wearing that shirt, it didn’t feel right.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, frowning at me.

“I told you to get one of the t-shirts in the top drawer,” I told him.

“I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” Aaron said, a confused expression taking over his face.

“Why did you through the white box?”

“I didn’t. I grabbed it with this hand,” he said, picking up his injured hand, “and I accidentally dropped it. A few other t-shirts fell to the floor and this one was in the pile,” he shrugged.

All the things that Silvia had allowed me to keep from Matt were in that white box. After Aaron said that, I panicked. He had only taken a minute or two in my room, but I didn’t know what he had seen. Matt’s journal was in the box as well.

“Just take it off.”

He barely had it over his head when I yanked it all the way and snatched it from him.

“Annabel, what’s going on?” He asked.

And once again he was half-naked around me. It wasn’t a distraction this time though. It got me angry for some reason.

“Nothing,” I snapped and walked away from him.

I slammed the door from my room shut and locked it. I wasn’t thinking straight, I knew that. It wasn’t Aaron’s fault, but I didn’t like seeing him with Matt’s shirt, or with anything that belonged to Matt.

“Anna,” Aaron said, knocking on the door softly.

I didn’t answer anything back.

“Come on, open the door. I don’t know what’s wrong,” he said, sounding concerned.

“Just give me a few minutes,” I said in a shaky voice.

“Are you okay? Open the door,” he pleaded.

I shook my head, but he couldn’t see me.

“Okay, I’ll wait,” Aaron said quietly.

I had Matt’s shirt in my hand, which was inside out from when Aaron took it off. It was a simple dark gray t-shirt, nothing special to it.

Months ago, I had worn the same shirt to sleep and used it as my comfort when I was missing Matt.

“Hey,” Aaron said when I finally opened the door to my room.

He was sitting on the opposite wall, his back resting on it and his knees propped up.

“It was Matt’s shirt,” I said.

Aaron seemed taken aback with my words.

I handed Aaron a simple white undershirt, one that belonged to me. Since Aaron made no attempt to get up, I took a set on the closed door of my room, which was right in front of Aaron.

“The rest of the stuff in the box, are they Matt’s things too?” He asked.

I nodded at him, and swallowed a lump in my throat.

“Why do you have that stuff here?” Aaron asked disapprovingly.

I shrugged and thought about his question.

“It used to help me sleep. His shirts, they still smell like him,” I replied.

A frown took over his forehead, and he shook his head at me.

“I should go,” Aaron said after a few minutes.

“He’s gone,” I said.

“You have his stuff right there, right next to the clothes you wear every day. You say that he’s gone, but I’m not sure you really acknowledge it.”

“Acknowledge it?” I asked.

“I know Matt’s not here anymore, Aaron. It’s why I had his things separately, in a box,” I snapped at him.

“In a box that was on top of your drawer, that’s not saying much,” he snapped back.

“Before I met you, I used to have his things out, next to mine,” I whispered.

My vision blurred from the unshed tears ready to spill, so I made a run for it. I got up from the ground, walked into the restroom, and locked myself in there.

I couldn’t go to my room because Aaron would be walking around, gathering his things.

I was waiting for Aaron to leave, but I kept hearing him move around in my room. Whatever he was doing or packing, he was being rowdy.

I was surprised when he began talking. For a second, I thought he was talking to himself.

I unlocked the door from the restroom and sneaked a peek. He was on his phone, pacing around the room.

“When?” He asked whoever he was talking too.

“I can’t right now. I’ll be there tomorrow,” he said.

“No, I know I know.” He saw me on the door after saying that, so I was forced to come out. It felt silly to go back inside the restroom and hide out.

“Fine, I’ll go.” He disconnected the call and threw the phone on the bed.

His eyes had been focused on me, staring at me intently.

“What happened?” I asked him awkwardly.

Aaron remained quiet, but he hadn’t dropped his gaze. I didn’t dare take a step back when Aaron began making his way towards me.

I stood in place, feeling as his hands wrapped around my waist and he rested his forehead against mine.

“I love you,” he said, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

My heart was beating erratically in my chest and I felt a tingling sensation in my stomach.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Aaron didn’t give me a chance to speak because his lips crashed against mine and he deepened the kiss.

I tangled my hands in his hair, while his fingers lightly dug into my waist, making my shirt rise up. There was so much emotion in our kiss, in the way his lips were moving desperately yet sensually over mine.

His arms felt warm, especially because his chest was bare.

I wasn’t sure how long we were standing, but by the time I pulled away, I was breathless and wanting to sit down.

My legs felt shaky, mainly because I was still on a high from the kiss.

“I need to go,” Aaron said.

“You can stay, I’m sorry about what happened,” I said, feeling warmth creep into my face.

Aaron caressed my cheek softly with the outside of his hand. I closed my eyes and leaned against his touch, loving even the smallest of contact from him.

“Don’t apologize for that. I didn’t know any of that stuff belonged to him. I would have never touched it,” Aaron said in a serious voice.

“It’s okay,” I said, lowering my gaze.

Maybe it was wrong that I was still holding on to the things. Putting them away in the box had been a big step for me. Sending them back, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to that. I hadn’t read Matt’s journal lately, but only because I hadn’t gotten a chance.

Before the visit to my parents, I had still been reading it. Matt’s journal had memories of the year we spent together, a year of my life.

“I worry about him and I feel stupid for it,” Aaron said, laughing humorlessly.

“What do you mean?”

“Even after you found this big thing about him that he kept a secret, you have him on a pedestal. You say that you don’t but you do.”

“I don’t have him on a pedestal,” I said defensively.

“Yes you do. The way you spoke about Matt with Jeremy,” Aaron said, shaking his head and closing his eyes.

“I really wouldn’t have had a shot with you if he was here.” Aaron took a seat on the bed, and ran his hand through his hair. “That thought keeps messing with me.”

I didn’t know what to say to him, so I kept quiet.

He grabbed the shirt I had given him and finally slipped it on.

“I’ll call you later,” he said.

He slung his backpack on his shoulders and started walking out.

“You don’t have to go,” I told him, giving him a sad smile.

“I do. Jordan just called me, my parents are having a family dinner,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh,” I mumbled.

“If I don’t go, my mom is gonna blow a gasket.”

“I can come along if you want,” I offered.

It was partly to feed my curiosity about his family and partly because I didn’t want him to leave my apartment while he was still mad at me.  

“It won’t be fun,” he said, sounding like he wanted me to back out on my own.

“You make me feel like I should be scared of your family,” I told him.

“Not scared, annoyed by them. They aren’t your typical family,” he said, which was his same explanation the other day.

“I guess you’re right.”

“You’re not mad?” Aaron asked.

“Are you?”

“About Matt?” Aaron asked, and he shook his head before I could reply.

“I shouldn’t get mad at you for it. It’s my own thing. You’re, I’ll sound like a tool for saying this,” Aaron said, chuckling nervously.

I cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“Annabel, you’re all I ever wanted. Wow… I did sound like a tool,” he grunted, running his hands through his hair. Despite how disheveled his hair was, the messy style made Aaron look more appealing.

I smiled at his words and made my way towards him, sitting beside him on the bed.

“I love you too. Your lips interrupted me from saying that before,” I said to him a teasing tone.

“I need to change into something else,” Aaron said, looking down at himself.

“Do you still have clean clothes?” I asked him.

“Yeah, I should have some in the duffel bag. My mom’s probably gonna say something about them though, she always has an opinion. I really am scared of bringing you over,” Aaron said.

I smoothed out the crease on his forehead, which came back because he kept frowning.

“You really do make me feel scared of your family,” I said, but a smile was forming on my lips.

“My mom might scare you off.”

“Come on, she can’t be that bad.” As I said that, I was hoping that my words were true.

“They’re not, they are… special.”  The more he warned, the more nervous he made me.

“Maybe I should just stay here.”

Aaron grinned at me, his face finally lighting up.

“No way, you offered to come on your own. Now you’re coming with me.”

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