9-19-18
I taste like DayQuil,
Get under my tongue
Like the blades of my teeth,
Cut me up in my sleep.
The roof of my cage,
Your heaven and my gates.

The lapses of time,
Pulls of the tides,
The sheets,
Your sockets
White, pristine.
Too old for love,
Too in love to be so mean,
I'm too keen,
Too polished are my truths,
You push it and it squeaks.
Clean.

I hope I stay here,
I hope I don't make it-
I hope I do,
I'm destined for the heights
Of the world.
They're waiting for me.
I hope I die so young
And so smart,
I hope I live forever.
I hope I light the world on fire
I hope it burns me,
So I'll never be found.
The discovery is the reason
The image will change.

Eyes all mine,
Hang to me like wire
And wet clothes.
The sun and the spooks
I'm so different now.
I like to think I'm made of charisma,
/aura/.
I think I was meant to be brought
To the surface of the water
To the moonlight
And the caller
End of the line,
I'll be drowning by the
End of tonight
In the cupfuls of tide.
The ways we need highs.
The blood in the ocean
Only reminds me it's
Up from here
It's nothing but cuts from here.
I'm nothing but drunk from here,
Let's get messy in the ocean,
I care and then I don't, and
I wanna be G
Crystal bitch witchy,
Wanna be hippie,
Get you high on the green,
Come stay in my sheets
Drown in the beats
Like I do.

Wash away the dirt
Wash away the heavy
Pieces of misinformation.
I'll let the song finish
And I'll let them all listen,
I've got pools so deep
The tiles line the insides
Of me.
The bottles and the bleach,
Ive been cutting my fingers
So i don't have targets.
Losing you was hard
Losing myself was harder.
Loving is light
But I fucking like
It darker.

The music came around
They don't know who I hang around,
Got my arms around,
I'm high off the adderall
She waiting till I come around
Till I hear the sound
Got my brother with me
Wanna sleep we hit the ground.
Got myself and I'm happy
Dripping the faucets
My love too sappy
My love too cold
She wanna be happy
She don't know
- (m.m)

Never finished this really. Doesn't belong in this book to me but it's worth posting. I'll figure this all out soon and get back to it. For awhile there it felt so trivial to post my work, it stopped making sense to me. But I'm focused on myself, and I'm focused on where my love should've been all this time.