New York – Five Years Ago

Calista lunged across the room and slammed her fist into the picture of her parents on the wall. She yelled in pain as the glass cut through her knuckles. All those years she simply suppressed her thoughts concerning the adoption and her parents. She justified it by saying at least she was allowed to give birth to the child. Somehow she put life in compartments so that she wouldn't hate her parents for making her give up Lauren. Ella grasped her sister by the arm and led her back to the sofa. Then she went to the medicine cabinet and tended to her hand.

"Please, Calista, sit, I don't want you to hurt yourself." Ella cleaned the wound and wrapped her hand with gauze as Calista stared at the framed picture now smashed on the floor.

"I hate them, you know. I really hate them."

"No you don't," Ella soothed, "You hate what they did to your life." She watched sadly as tears began to spill from Calista's eyes again. "I can't possibly understand the pain that you're in right now. But it's all going to be okay – somehow."

"It will never be okay, Ella. I had a daughter that I knew but never met. One year from now she would be 18. I had it all planned. I was going to ease my way into her life and introduce her to the world of modeling."

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry."

She slipped her hand from Ella's and got up heading for her purse retrieving her cell phone. Calista sat next to Ella and pulled up the adoption agency and typed in her code for being able to see the pictures and updates of Lauren's life. She extended her phone to Ella. "See."

Ella's breath hitched in her throat. The girl was the image of her sister except for the hair. Lauren's hair was blonde. No one in their family had blonde hair. Ella racked her brain trying to remember who was in her sister's life seventeen years ago that had blonde hair. With her being this upset now was not the time to ask who the father was. A brief flash of their old photographer snapped into her mind – it might have been him. All Ella wanted was for Calista to finish the story. "She's stunning – absolutely stunning."

"I had it all planned. I'd been dreaming of that day my entire life."

Ella sat with her sister's head on her chest as she revealed more of the story. Every part left her more speechless than the next. Her fingers scrolled through the images on the adoption website. In one sweep she got images of Lauren's entire life. They gave Calista access into all the important moments – birthdays, school events, holidays. It was a beautiful kaleidoscope of images. She shook her head. I couldn't have borne this weight. She leaned down and kissed Calista's cheek. "This is a loss for us all."

Calista lifted the cell phone from Ella's hand. She quickly scrolled down to the most recent pictures. "Not a total loss. I'm determined to have a second chance."

A lightning bolt ripped through Ella's soul. The jolt was so electrifying that she felt her heart slam into her chest and halt. "My God, no...no." Her fingers flipped through pictures from that one, so fast that it made her head spin. Laurens's belly swelled larger with each picture. Ella began to laugh. "I can't believe this." Finally, the last image was an infant lying on her mother's chest. Ella squeezed the life out of her sister. "Oh, thank God!"

"Her name is Aria and she's three months old. Now, do you understand why Roman can't know?

Tears spilled over Ella's cheek. "I don't like it, but I know what you are saying. You feel like you would be obligating him with someone when you never told him the truth about Lauren."

"Yes, Ella. The child is in a loving home. The grandparents left word for me through the agency that they will raise the child. As soon as I recover from this loss I am going to negotiate with them to take Aria. I've got a lot to sort through. But until I get everything together, Roman must never know."

"I understand."

Calista slipped from Ella's embrace and headed to her makeup table. She began cleaning herself up and changing clothes. She dug through her purse and grabbed a bottle of Visine and doused her eyes with it.

"Hey, what are you doing, Calista? You need to rest. This is too much of a shock."

She turned and smiled at Ella. "Do you hear that? They've played the last song from the show. I know that they've done the encore but they are calling me. You know the saying, Ella – the show must go on."

"No, Calista, you just lost your daughter. Sit, please."

"I can't. You know what happens at our shows. They won't stop clapping until I go out. I'm just going to go down the runway and wave."

***

"Then it was over," Roman said, with tears in his eyes.

"Yes, I followed her out to the runway. I saw her falter once, but I saw that she quickly got back into step. The applause was deafening. The industry loved her new line. When I saw her tilt the second time I ran out. By that time she'd fallen. Everything was chaos." Ella put her hand over her mouth dealing with the strong pull of emotions. She glanced at Roman and could feel his grief. "I hovered over her and the last thing that she said was for me to take care of Aria and not to tell you. I told her that I promised and I kissed her, she smiled and that was it."

Roman slid down to the floor and pounded the carpet. He moaned and moaned, not even able to voice a cry. His nerves didn't rattle they seismically jolted across his body. The pounding in his heart began to make him fear that it would stop. When he finally found his voice he croaked out. "Why tell me now, Ella? It's been five years." If you only knew what I've been through these last few days. "I'm numb. I can barely think but I wish you had told me sooner. You've got to help me here."

Ella slid next to Roman and pulled out her cell. "This is why." She slipped the phone into Roman's hand showing him a family portrait. She and her husband had a tiny son between them. "This is Hadrian. He's four months old. When I had him something deep in me knew the value of family more than I ever had in life."

"Wow."

"Roman, I tell you I was overwhelmed when he was born. And I said to myself that it was only right for you to know that a piece of my sister was on this earth. She was your family."

Roman couldn't hold his emotions anymore. He broke into a million pieces and so did Ella. They both held on to each other and cried. Between the sobs, Ella told him the end of the story.

She and her husband took custody of Aria but didn't adopt her. The reason that they didn't adopt her was that they wanted to leave a door open for Roman to do it.

"I know it's going to take a while for you to process this. We just want you to know that she's happy and will be with us forever unless you decide to take her into your home."

Roman kissed Ella on the forehead. "Thank you. I'm overwhelmed and you're right this is a lot to process. But all will work its way out." He continued to thumb through Ella's phone and smiled at all the beautiful pictures of Aria and Hadrian. She was a beautiful little girl with a bright and precious smile. Calista was there on her face though he couldn't pinpoint how. "This is amazing."

"Indeed it is, Roman. We're all going to work through this."

***

"You can drop me off here, Drake," Roman said as the limo pulled into the Central Park area. It was only a stone's throw away from his penthouse. He needed to clear his head. The fog surrounding him was as thick as it was in the guest suites.

"Are you sure, Mr. Gray? It's an awfully cold day outside and the snow has started to fall again."

"Thanks, Drake, but I'll be fine. I'm dressed in warm layers. It's not too far of a walk anyway."

"All right, sir."

"Hey, why don't you head home for the holidays? Return to duties on January 10th. I promise not to call unless it's an emergency."

Drake turned to Roman with a big grin. He didn't know what to say. Roman had never done that before. It wasn't that he had a hard job, but it was nice to have another token of appreciation. He'd done enough with the Christmas gifts and bonus that he'd sent. "That's really nice, Mr. Gray. Thank you."

Roman nodded and stepped from the car. He pulled his wool cap over his ears and raised the scarf to cover his neck and lower face. Tiny pelts of snow flurries struck him as he walked through the park. Above head more thick snow cloud billowed in, masking the sun. Grey skies, barren trees dripping in ice crystals, and the frozen lake made the scene wintery postcard perfect. Roman shoved his gloved hands in his pockets getting lost in nature, as his mind sorted through everything.

There was an eerie comfort in knowing what happened during Calista's last days. It had always tormented him how a person that lived in great health and vibrancy could just drop dead. Though he may never have the full answer, this provided a clue. Calista may have died from an aneurysm, but to him, after the conversation with Ella, he believed that she died of a broken heart. The stress of carrying the secret all her life, compounded with the loss of a daughter that she'd never met was too much. And to top that off with knowing she was a grandmother was too much. There was no way he could imagine that devastation.

Also, her stressful work in the fashion industry was another contributor. Not ever in his life had she given him any cause to suspect anything. She'd worn her mask well. Just like he'd worn his mask not allowing Zara to see the dangerous line of work that he was in. Thinking of that he couldn't fault Calista for not sharing her pain with a single soul. But he was so glad that before she left this world that she'd confided in Ella.

"Aria is going to be fine."

His cell dinged. Ella sent pictures to him of Lauren and Aria. She texted: for when you're ready to share this with Zara, leaving in an hour, and thank you. Roman smiled and sent a happy face emoji back. The snow began to pick up, Roman picked up his pace as well. He knew this was something that he would share with Zara, he just didn't know when.