She always made me feel...like I was her's and only her's...

Everyone around me noticed it...

Commented on it...

They could all see what I chose not to.

That I was just an object to her

Something to control and bring out whenever she wanted to use me

And she never liked to share...

Yeah...she never was one for sharing...

There was a time...when I had a lot of friends...

When I was liked well enough...

When people thought I was dorky and harmless...

When I was...well...not who I am now...

Everyone saw me as being kind, smart, goofy...

I got along with everyone...

My friend group was healthy, flourishing...

But even back then...I was her's...

I don't know when it began but it did...slowly...

Suddenly I was spending all my time with her...

Suddenly everyone I cared about was slowly pushing me away...

My friends...they all...they acted different...

They never liked her...never liked how she treated me...

Heh...

They all left me...

And can I really blame them?

I was all her's after all...

Sooner rather than later, I was getting bullied.

Why?

Well I was weird and cringe.

But more importantly I was her's...

People hated me...because I was her's...

Didn't matter how I acted, or what I did...

It didn't matter who I was...

In that time I realized...all I've ever been to people...was an extension of her...

I was just her's and there was nothing else I could ever truly become...

I was nothing without her...

She hurt a lot of people...

Burned bridges with pretty much everyone...

She was always angry and paranoid...

She left everyone...

Left the world...

But she never left me...

I used to think of _____ as the only person who was ever there for me in my darkest of times but no...

She was never there for me...

She never supported me...

I was the only person left who would still talk to her...

...

I was the only person left.

I was always...lonely...

Even though I had her...

...

It was always us against the world...

Just us...

Until she let in another girl....

We were a group, joint at the hip...

I wasn't the closest to her...that's why ____ let her stay...

Because _____ was closer...

____ was more of that girl's friend...

But eventually the girl had to move

We still met up...a lot

But the girl never truly did get to see how she treated me...or just chose not to see it...

I care deeply about her...and I know now...she might never talk to me again...

A year after the girl left...my cousin joined our school...

I was so happy...

So excited...

I hadn't seen her in years and now I'd see her every day!

...

_____ wasn't excited....

...

_____ didn't like my cousin...

It started out small...

She would insult my cousin

She would act passive aggressive towards her

She would "mark her territory" and try to force me to stop hanging out with her...

I didn't want to stop...

....

I arranged a big sleepover...

For both ____ and my cousin...

______ blew up on me.

She spammed me having a huge fit over it.

Saying that I was ruining everything...

...

She was angry...

So angry...

My cousin was related to me...

I guess she thought that meant we were closer...

...

My cousin ended up not being able to come...

She had just broken her arm...

While I was worried I saw something different in ____'s eyes...

Joy.

Excitement.

I was all her's again...

She tried to warn me...

My cousin.

"____ control's you! Doesn't let you do anything!"

"____ and I are working through some things! She has a lot of abandonment issues-!"

"That's no excuse for how she's treating you!"

"I..."

____ had us...slowly distance ourselves away from her...

...

For years I was alone...all alone...

Even with her I was alone...

...

I could never leave her...

Could never dream of it...

Because if I did...who else would I have?

...

...

One day....

One day almost two years later...

I somehow...

I was talking to someone...

...

Other than her...

It was strange...

But I had made a friend...

Two friends...

They made me feel safer...

It was so strange...

...

_____ liked them.

_____ accepted them!

I was allowed to be friends with them!

When I look back on it know...I think the reason why it was different this time was because they are male...

So she just assumed they weren't as big of a threat...

It was more casual at the time...

...

We were a group...the four of us...

I was happy again...for the first time in the longest time...

...

I was so fucking happy...

...

Until I started to get a little too close to them...

Until I started sharing things she's done to me...

Until they stated to actually care about me on a deeper level...

...

Until I wasn't just all her's....

...

....

Once I started to realize the way she was treating me wasn't normal...

...