CAMERON WALKED HOME WITH FIONA AND LIAM AFTER HER SHIFT, 

They entered the home to see Frank standing in the living room, "Hey, hey, hey, look who it is! My two eldest. And Liam! Come say hello to me, son." Fiona and Cameron glanced at each other for a moment in confusion as she handed Liam over to him, 

"What are you doing here?" Fiona asked,

"I went to get Ginger, like you told me to." He pointed towards the kitchen,

Sitting in a chair, snoring, was a man dressed up as an old woman. How did they know it was a man? The aroused penis gave it away.

"This is Aunt Ginger?" Fiona questioned,

"In the flesh." Frank responded,

"Ginger has a hard-on." Cameron commented,

They all stared at the man sleeping in their house as there was a knock on the door and Fiona went to answer it,

"She was born with a large clitoris." Frank commented, putting Liam down on the couch, "As kids, we were told to keep our hugs brief."

Cameron rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs to change out of her work clothes. When she came back down, Lip was sitting in the kitchen, his face beaten and bloody. Cam went to get V and her med kit before they all gathered in the kitchen,

"The nose is the most commonly broken bone in boys between the ages of 13 and 25." V informed them as she finished stuffing a tampon up his nostril,

"Yeah, that's, that's fascinating, but who's the old dude?" Lip asked, glancing at the still sleeping man in the chair,

"It's not a dude. It's your Aunt Ginger." Frank told him,

"Oh, the one who owns the house?"

"That's right. Ginger!" Frank yelled, waking the man up, "Say hello to your nephew!"

"Dad, stop." Fiona insisted,

"Why's he trying to pass off Mr. Perry as Aunt Ginger?" Lip asked,

"Who?" Frank replied,

"Mr. Perry, my old bus driver. Now he sleeps by the Dumpster over at the A&P." Lip stated,

"Social Security wants to talk to Ginger, and he was too lazy to go get the real one." Fiona explained,

"That's kind of retardedly brilliant." The eldest Gallagher boy commetned,

"Thank you."

"Or brilliantly retarded." Fiona corrected,

"Thank you." Frank took a sip of his beer,

"Now we have to drive all night to go get her." Fiona glared,

"Think Kev'll let us borrow his car?" Cameron asked Veronica as she got her own beer from the fridge,

"No."

Cameron sighed, "I'll call and beg." Fiona handed her the cell phone as Debbie and Carl walked into the kitchen and set hairdryers down on the counter,

"We got these from Imelda over at the Holiday Inn. It'll be a good way to stay warm." The redhead paused and glanced over at the man in the chair, "Why's Mr. Perry here?"

Cameron dialled Kevin's number, "Hey, Kev, it's me. Uh, can we borrow your car just for the night? I just need-"

Frank took the phone from her hand and hung up, "You won't need the car."

Fiona furrowed her brows, "How are we gonna get Ginger?"

"She's dead." He stated,

"What?"

"Who's dead?" Debbie asked,

 "Aunt Ginger." Lip answered,

"No!" Debbie exclaimed, a pout on her face,

"Debs, you never met her." Lip told her,

"And now I never will!"

"Don't give me a hard time. I've been very upset about this. I'm in mourning." Frank stated,

"When did she die?" Fiona asked him, 

He shrugged, thinking, "Mmm, 12 years ago." They all stared at him with wide eyes. He's been cashing the checks of a dead woman, "I was trying to protect you all from the trauma. Shit! How do you think I feel? That woman was my heart and soul. She practically raised me."

"Dad, you've been cashing her checks. That's a felony." Cameron hissed,

"We're living in her house. Was there even a will?" Fiona asked,

"You don't need a will, if she's not technically dead." Frank mumbled,

Cameron and Fiona shared a look before turning back to Frank, "Yes, she is technically dead, Dad. Dead is dead. Just because you haven't told anybody that she's dead, doesn't make her not dead."

"Fuck!" Fiona groaned, "What are we gonna do now?"

And that's how they ended up in the nursing home that Veronica worked at. The three women plus Debbie and Frank walked the halls, looking at each older woman to see which one could fit being an Aunt Ginger.

Veronica paused, "Oh, Mrs. Sullivan is 92, but she's about to go any minute." She motioned to an old woman falling asleep sitting at a table,

They walked into a larger, common room with a variety of elders doing their own activities, "Helen... she needs meds every four hours, so she's a hassle. Beatrice... her son visits daily. Jenny... she's a favorite around here. The others would notice if she were missing."

"It's too bad. She's hot." Frank commented and they all gave him a dirty look,

Debbie let go of Cam's hand and went to look around. It reminded her of a child in an animal shelter, trying to find their new pet to take home and abuse,

"I like that one." The redhead girl pointed at a woman who was doing a puzzle,

"Debbie!" Fiona motioned her back over to them,

"No, too lucid." Veronica whispered in their ears,

Debbie came to a stop in front of Fiona, "You know how your friend Sophie's nana couldn't remember anything 'cause she had old people's disease?"

She nodded, "Alzheimer's?"

"Yeah." Fiona turned to V, "Yeah, we're looking for somebody like that."

Cameron smirked at her sister, "You're a genius, Fi."

Debbie went looking again and Frank walked over to them, "For the record, I do not want to be sent to a place like this."

"Don't worry, you'll outlive us all." Fiona commented,

"You're not gonna get fired for letting us borrow an old lady, right?" Cameron asked her friend,

"Girl, please. This place is just like what you see on the news. A month ago, one of the night shift guys got caught fucking Mrs. Hebert who's in a coma. He just got a raise." Veronica informed them,

"What about her?" Debbie whispered, pointing to a very old woman talking to a tree,

V smirked, "Yes."