Volume Seven

I sighed turning my phone off since it seemed like no one would leave me alone, I sighed turning on my stomach turning up my iPad to continue playing the sad music. I wiped my face as more tears dropped, it was so annoying when all you wanted to do was feel better.

"Jae. Jaelyn!" I heard my mom as she started snapping her fingers, I rolled my eyes still ignoring her. "Jaelyn-"

"I don't want to eat, I don't want to talk, I don't want to see Shepherd, I don't want to see Jala, I want to lay in my bed, cry until I'm empty. Can you please leave me alone?" 

"Jae, I'll be back. You gotta eat."

I heard my door close as I turned staring at the window, I stood up stripping. I grabbed my beats pill and iPad covering my body with a towel. I walked out my room going in the bathroom, I ran water the hottest it can go. I watched the water run as I poured some bubbles in the water, I grabbed two candles lighting it then turned off the light getting in the bath. 

"Baby I'm a mess, out of every piece of me and part of me, you were the best." I sung along to Melanie Fiona. "And he got me saying whyyyy? Why you wanna make me cryyyy? I been thinking bout you, got me dreaming bout you, every single day and night."

I stayed in the tub until it got cold, even then I still didn't get out. I just sat in the tub crying, I didn't even know I loved Shep this much. The feelings obviously weren't mutual if I was so replaceable, he didn't give a fuck about making me cry, he didn't give a fuck about me.

"Jae?" Laurie called out. "Jae, you been in here for a while. Are you okay?" 

"Jaelyn, open the door." My mom said as I heard the door twisting. 

"Just say something so we know you okay, Jae." Laurie said. 

"I'm fine." I mumbled getting out the tub letting the water out, I grabbed my stuff and opening the door. "I'm fine."

"Eat this." 

"I don't want it."

"I haven't seen you eat in three days Jaelyn." My mother glared at me. 

"I'll eat later." 

"It's some boy on the porch for you." Laurie said. 

"Who?" I asked walking in my room as she followed.

"I don't know. He tall and brown skin with a dope ass lion tattoo on his hand."

"Did you tell him I'm not here?" 

"This not his first time coming, he knows you here."

"Tell him I don't want to see nobody."

"He said he just need five minutes."

Rolling my eyes, I looked at her. "Tell him I have to get dress."

"Okay." She smiled.

I didn't understand what she was smiling for, I put on a shirt and some pajama pants. I lotioned my body then put on deodorant, putting on some socks and my slides I walked outside seeing he was sitting in his car on the phone. I walked towards the car getting in as he continued talking.

"I'll call you right back, I promise Stink." He chuckled hanging up then looked at me. "You look bad, you know that?"

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"Heartbreak can not hurt like this Jae." He said then started touching my hair. "Like did you look in the mirror? You really look bad."

"You know what." I said about to open the door but he pressed the locks. 

"I'll quit." He chuckled. "I was bout to ask how you holding up but obviously you going down bad, this shit is terrible. You know weave could mold right?"

"You're not even funny." I said trying to hide my smile. 

"Oh aight there the smile." He smiled. "Talk to Dr.DreamyReem, what happened?"

"I really do not want to talk about him or how he broke up with me."

"You let boy break up with you son?" He looked at me like I was stupid. "You stupid, nah you more than stupid. You sped ed."

"He has feelings for another girl so basically he broke up with me but I am stupid for not listening to myself knowing something was off."

"If you know ya stupid ain't no need for me to say anything then." He shrugged. "Do me a favor though? Go change and come back out."

"I don't wanna go nowhere."

"I'm giving you a option to go fix yaself or Imma pull off while you looking like this." 

"What if I go in and don't come back out?" I raised a eyebrow. 

"Your mother gave me permission to come drag you out." He smirked making me roll my eyes. 

I opened the door running in the house, I walked in my room sitting on my bed. I just wanted to be in bed singing until I was all cried out but nobody wanted me to be great. I got up combing through my weave, I put it in a low ponytail then switched my pajama set for the champion sweatsuit.

"Eat while you out, you know you hate hospitals and that's where you will go if you pass out." My mother said as I nodded walking out. 

"This how you supposed to look, don't ever show me the ugly side of you again." Reem said making me glare at him.

"You're so annoying."

"Got you smiling though, why you touching my radio girl?" 

"Cause I wanna listen to music." I said going to the bluetooth. 

"Jaelyn, Jaelyn." He repeated my name making me furrow my eyebrow. "What the fuck is this?" 

"It's Tamia."

"This what you not bout to do." He disconnected my phone from the bluetooth. "In my car we some fucking OG's, alright?" 

"I don't even know what OG is, isn't that someone mother?" 

"You really pissing me off." He sighed making me laugh. "It's all trap music, shit we finna do a hit to." 

"HuhmyGod." 

"I would play some Youngboy but he fuck around and start singing on the song." He said making me laugh. "Finna play some Youngsta."

"Where we going?" 

"Get some anger out." He said as he phone started ringing. "Yes stink? No, I'll be there in like a hour or two. Girl, you'll be aight, I'll be there later."

"What's get anger out?" 

"You'll see, we bout to get out now." He chuckled. 

"I feel like you took me to a place to kill me." I said looking around as he parked.

"If I wanted to kill you I wouldn't have to take you no where, I would of killed you in ya house and made it seem like you did it."

"I'm not going in this building with you." I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Come on lil bit, ain't shit in the building that could hurt you and I ain't gon do nothing to you." 

I looked at the abandoned type building and sighed, I was heartbroken but I wasn't heartbroken heartbroken where I wanna die. He looked at me and chuckled.

"Just trust me." He said looking directly in my eyes. "I know the last nigga who told you to trust him the same nigga who got you like this but just trust me for a few minutes."

"If I wanna go home, are you gon take me home?" 

"We gon get some food first cause you look boney as hell but yeah."

"If you kill me, I'll never forgive you." I rolled my eyes getting out the car as he laughed.

I handed him my phone since he asked for it, he put both of our phones in the truck along with my wallet. I looked at him weirdly and stood there, he grabbed my wrist pulling me since I wasn't moving. He opened the door to the building still yanking me. 

"Wassup Reem?" Some white man said making him give him a nod. 

"Hey Reem." A girl smiled in his face and he did the same thing.

"You so rude, you could speak back." I looked at him. 

"I am speaking back." He chuckled.

"Nodding is not speaking."

"Put these on." He handed me some goggles. 

I looked at him confused but put them on anyway as he did the same thing, he opened a door and started talking to the man. They both looked back at me then the man nodded and chuckled making me furrow my eyebrows. 

"Aight look this building is called Rage Out." Reem said as I followed him. "This the building people come to when they want to get anger out. You could break shit, punch shit, hit shit with bats, you could cry, do anything you want."

"This is kinda cool." I chuckled as he handed me a golf club. 

"How mad are you?" He asked.

"I'm-"

"Nah don't tell me, show me." He pointed to some glass.

I swung the golf club as all the glass started breaking, I smiled swinging it again. He sat back and let me do me as I went from different things breaking everything, he was right, this is the best I've felt since the breakup. 

~

"So where we going now?" I smiled.

"Ever since you started smiling, you can't stop. Uglay ass" He chuckled. "We going to the best African food place I know."

"You're African? And I've never had African food."

"Yeah." He chuckled. "And it's good, don't worry."

I nodded as his phone started ringing, he looked at the caller ID making me look at it to show it said Stink with a heart emoji. He ignored it then continued driving, around 10 minutes later we pulled to a brown house. I looked at him as he motioned for me to get out, I followed him in the house.

"You keep calling me, I'm here." Reem said as some girl smiled hugging him tightly. 

"Who's this?" Some lady asked with a headscarf on her head.

"This Jaelyn, y'all could call her Jae though." He said then pointed to each of them. "These my sisters Stink, Maha, Imani, Asha."

"Hi." I waved tight lip smiling. 

"You're so pretty and little." Maha smiled making me chuckle.

"Thank you."

"Y'all know she never had African food?"Reem asked making all of them look at me with wide eyes.

"We have to change that." Imani said with her thick accent. 

"Imma go change real quick, come on Jae." 

I followed him up the stairs as we passed by many doors, going towards the back of the hallway he opened a door. I looked around as he closed the door going into the closet, I picked up a baby picture of him smiling. He was so cute.

"Why don't you have the accent?" I asked.

"I do, I just been in the US longer than all of them so I learned to turn it on and off."

"Say something in your accent please." I begged as he peeked his head out the closet.

"You bout to enter a whole new world once we go down the stairs." He said in a accent making me smile. 

"You can't talk to me regularly no more." I said making him chuckle. "How old are all your sisters?" 

"Maha is 30, Imani 24, Stink is 16 and Asha 12."

"You the only boy?" 

"Nah, I got three brothers, they'll be here later." He said. "Obu is 28, Yomi is 18 and Bisola is 9."

"I wanna ask questions but I'm not sure if I'll get a answer."

"Just ask em." 

"Where's your mom?" 

"She in Africa, she not a citizen."

"Where's your dad?" 

"Dead."

"Can I ask how?" 

"My mom killed him." He said sitting on the bed. "He used to abuse her, not us but just her. He was the man we looked up to until we saw him hit her."

"So how'd you become a citizen?" 

"I'm from here." He chuckled. "She got pregnant in Africa but she ran away from him so she had me in the States. She left me in the States with my aunt then came back for me two years later taking me to Africa. I lived in Africa until I was 11, that's when she killed him."

"Do you talk to her?" 

"Of course." He smiled. "That's my world."

"So what part of Africa you from?"

"West Africa." 

"I always wanted to go to Mali."

"That's the country I'm from." He chuckled taking off his shirt as I seen two guns on his waist band. "They registered, you could stop looking at me like that."

"Didn't you go to jail before? How you get your gun license?" 

"I've been arrested before not locked up so I have no background meaning I could get a gun."

"But you retarded, don't they do mental exams?" 

"Yeah aight." He chuckled. "I'm bout to change into some sweats."

"Okay?" I questioned.

"I'm just letting you know so when I take my pants off, don't think I'm tryna be on some weird shit." 

"Okay." I chuckled. "How many of y'all live here?" 

"Oh, I don't live here. I come to eat and spend time with em." He chuckled. "That's why Stink call me so much cause I usually don't got time to even see them so when I say Imma come, they never believe me." 

I nodded pulling out my ringing phone to decline Jala call, once I locked my phone I looked to see Reem was only in some Tommy Hilfiger boxers. He turned around to walk to his closet as my eyes widened, I looked back down so he wouldn't catch me staring at his print.

"You ready to go back downstairs?" He asked making me nod without looking at him. "Bet come on."

We walked back downstairs as more people was in the house, he introduced me to his brothers, his older sisters boyfriends, his aunt and uncle. Apparently I was the first girl he ever bought home but they still treated me like I was part of the family, even showed me how to cook some African dishes.

"I really like your family." I smiled as he parked in front of my house.

"They like you too." He chuckled. "I'm surprised though, Stink never like nobody."

"She gave me her number and all, she like me." I chuckled. "Why am I the only girl you ever bought home?" 

"I told you, I don't trust bitches enough to meet my family. Only females that met my family is Es and Dyl and that's because they like sisters to me."

"So I'm like a sister too?" I joked.

"That's what you wanna be?" He asked.

"You told Es to put you on but you haven't tried to shoot your shot yet, I'm confused."

"You just getting out a relationship, you still confused about a lot of shit so I'm not bout to make you more confused. Say if I try to get with you and that lil nigga come back in ya life, y'all got history, he prolly ya first love so you prolly get back with him wasting my time so I'll wait until the time right to shoot my shot."

"You won't miss." I told him.

"I know I won't." He chuckled. "Ya mother and sister peeking out the blinds though so I think you should go."

"They're so annoying." I rolled my eyes. "If you haven't came today, I'll probably be still starving myself and crying so thank you for not giving up."

"You good." He chuckled. "Take a picture with me so I could send it to Jala, she gon be jealous." 

I laughed taking three pictures with him. I leaned over to hug him catching him off guard, he didn't hug me back but when I was bout to pull away he wrapped his arms around me. I smiled pulling back, I got out the car walking to the door. I turned around to wave at him as he beeped the horn, I walked in going straight to my room.

"I need to get over you." I said looking at the picture frame of me and Shep.
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