I went to work on a high. The day sped by. I couldn't wait to get home, hoping Adam would come over that night. Before my shift ended, Robert asked me if I would work on Saturday night because Anita, one of the regular dancers, had a relative's funeral to attend.

"Will I be dancing?" I asked.

Robert cocked his head and pleaded. "If you don't mind. Just the intro."

The extra money would come in handy, so I said yes. "What time do you want me to start?"

"Six pm and I'll need you until 3 am. Is that doable?"

"No problem," I said.

*

My mobile rang when I was on the train. My mind jumped to Adam, but I remembered he hadn't asked for my number. Uncertainty niggled at the back of my brain. I checked the screen. Belinda.

"Hey, what are you up to tonight?" she said.

"I don't know. I'm hoping Adam might come over."

"Adam?" she queried.

I laughed. "Yes...Adam. He came over last night and we talked. He explained everything."

"Jasmine, are you sure this guy is for real?" Belinda said. "Why didn't he come later on the day he upset you?"

"He did," I insisted. "He came over, but I was at your house and then on Wednesday night when I was at squash. He tried. Anyway, he came last night and told me about her. They did have a thing. It's over as far as he's concerned. She thinks she has some claim on him. They work together. He's told her he's not interested. She's married anyway."

"Oh," Belinda said with doubt. Then she added, "Do you want to come out tonight. Macy wants to go clubbing."

"Sorry, I won't. I really like this guy. I'm hoping he'll come over."

"So, he didn't say he would?" Doubt laced her words.

"No," I murmured. My resolution of not waiting for men to ring or show up niggled in the back of my mind. "I have to work tomorrow night too," I said. "I don't want two late nights in a row. If he doesn't come over, it won't matter." I giggled. "I didn't get much sleep last night either."

Belinda laughed and said, "Could you walk this morning?"

"Yes. We didn't have sex last night. He wanted to prove to me he wasn't using me for sex."

Belinda scoffed, "If you don't see him again, you'll know it was because you didn't come across last night and it was all about sex."

"That doesn't make sense," I said. "It was his idea that we didn't do it, not mine."

"You, horny little bitch," she laughed. "All right, maybe we'll catch up Sunday."

"Okay. Don't you and Macy get into any trouble," I joked.

We rang off. I stared out the train window and wondered if Adam would come over.

I showered, made some noodles and settled at my computer, but I couldn't concentrate. I switched on the TV and thought of Adam, unable to tell me things about himself. I wondered why he hadn't asked for my phone number or offered to give me his. Honestly, I was being stupid because I hadn't offered him my number either, and we'd gone out once. In my mind, our first meeting shouldn't count, nor when he came to my work. The reality was, we'd only seen each other twice. Was I expecting too much? Though he wasn't with Gillian, he might be in another relationship. That thought didn't sit well with me. I remembered someone named Kaye was mentioned on one of his phone calls. No, surely not. If there was a Kaye, maybe we hadn't exchanged numbers because he was trying to break it off.

In the end, I didn't come up with any answers and was just upsetting myself. I liked him a lot and suspected he'd break my heart, but I was too far gone to stop it.

I stayed busy the next day doing housework and washing. When I couldn't find any more excuses to stay home, I walked to the shops to buy milk and bread. By mid-afternoon, I was beside myself. Why hadn't he come over? I kept telling myself that if you liked someone, then you made every effort to see them. Doubt crept in and darkened my thoughts. I kept repeating his words.

"When I say I don't know when I'll see you next, it's because I won't be able to tell you. My life is a mess at the moment. I need you to trust me, to believe that I want to see you and only you. I'm not with other women. When I can tell you about my life, you'll understand, but I can't talk about it now."

I went to work on a downer, but was grateful I had taken the extra shift. I couldn't tolerate another night of waiting and wondering.

The black and silver costume was the last outfit on the rack. The girls commented on how it complemented my figure.

Kæ'feı 'Rɒbərt filled with patrons. As the restaurant diners left, drinkers filled the seats. We were rushed off our feet. A fortieth birthday party and a bucks group of men were demanding attention. The dancing started between eight and eight-thirty, but didn't look like kicking off until closer to nine.

When I was clearing away empty glasses, one of the men in the buck's party asked Katrina and me to pose for a photo with the groom. We said yes. He knelt between us with his arms around our butts then pretended to lick my navel and fiddled with my silver tassel belly ring. He hugged us as thanks.

I collected my tray to clear tables when I noticed Gillian with two men and a woman. She stared at me. Did she recognise me? No way, my face was covered with a veil. I stopped at her table to take their glasses.

She laughed and said, "Do you like working here?"

"Yes, it's not bad," I shouted over the noise.

She smiled and said, "It must be wonderful to wear the costumes. They're so beautiful." I agreed, and then she said, "The bonus is you can take your pick of any man you want."

Had she recognised me and was trying to get me to say something that would make me look like a slut, and then tell Adam? I faked a laugh and shook my head. "It's not the way it seems; most are sleazy, and the rest are married. I'd much rather go home to my pillow."

The other woman laughed and said, "I can see what you mean."

Gillian gave me a curious look. "Can I ask if it's good money? Do you get any big tips? I might take it up myself if it is."

One of the men scoffed and said, "For fuck's sake! I can't imagine you in one of those costumes."

I moved onto the next table and heard her say, "You ruined that. Thanks. And what? Don't I have a good enough figure?"

I didn't hear the answer, but wondered what he had ruined.

The dancing started. Sasha and I came out first. We began at one end of the room. She, on one side, and me on the other. We swayed our hips and rolled our stomachs as we tapped small finger cymbals together.

I'd taken a belly dancing class when I worked at one of the fashion outlets and picked it up easily. Louise, the teacher, asked if I wanted a job. That's how I came to work at Kæ'feı 'Rɒbərt. When I first started, I worked nights, serving drinks and dancing as part of the main trio. Then Robert decided he wanted all three to strip to bras and G-strings instead of just Annette. The touchy-feely men were bad enough when we had clothes on, let alone taking them off, so I asked for the day shift. Robert had no problems giving it to me because he knew I wasn't interested in the after-hours trade. He was keen to have girls who wanted to make extra money to work the night shifts. It brought in more male customers. Women also came to Kæ'feı 'Rɒbərt for the same reason.

Six other dancers followed Sasha and me. Once we reached the end of the room, we spread out and gyrated our bodies on the spot until Cherie, Annette, and Debbie made their entrance.

Once the crowd was drawn to watch them, the rest of us went back to serving drinks and clearing tables.

The trio danced a sexy veil dance, taking one layer off at a time until they were down to bra tops and G-strings. They finished with a fire-eating act where Annette blew flames into the air while Cherie and Debbie danced through the crowd, playing up to the men. People shoved money in their bra straps and G-strings.

Four blocks of dancing took place every night, and after each session, the men became touchier. I can only imagine what was going through their minds. Those who got forward and aggressive when rejected were thrown out by the bouncers.

I slept until lunch on Sunday then went to Belinda's to watch some videos.

She cocked her head and said, "So, did he come over?"

"No."

"Jasmine. I don't want to dampen your hopes. If he liked you, he wouldn't be able to stay away?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said. "You know I'm a sucker so what's new." I sighed before saying, "I really like him. I know you think he's lying to me." I looked her in the eye. "Shit, I think he's lying to me but he said he likes me and wants to get to know me better. He also said his life was all over the place, and he couldn't say when he'd be able to see me. He asked me to trust him." I took a breath and added, "I'm too far gone already, so my heart will be broken anyway." I shrugged and smiled. "I figure what the hell. I may as well have some great sex while I can." Then I said, "I have to keep busy. Live my life as if he wasn't in it and not sit around waiting for him like I did on Friday night." I grabbed a handful of popcorn. Belinda's concerned expression held my gaze. I grinned and said, "You have to promise to be my backbone and pick me up when I want to drown myself. Okay."

Belinda laughed. "Well, I've done it before, so I guess I can do it again. I might start buying boxes of tissues now."

I laughed with her. We opened a bottle of wine and then settled down to watch the next movie.

Gosh, that Gillian is like a boil, she keeps popping up.  I wonder what she's up to?

I'm so glad Jasmine has Belinda as a friend.  I think she's going to need her. 

Photo copyright - Underground Sound.