Sarah and Vance woke up early the next morning and made love yet again. Vance still insisted rather strongly on keeping his shirt on. After they were finished Sarah laid back in a state of ecstasy. "Wow, honey, that was amazing. It's never been that good before. It was almost like you were possessed or something." 

"Verily, fair maiden. I doeth my best." 

"And that fancy way you've been speaking lately... I don't know... it's kind of sexy." She remained content for a moment but then a sudden thought crossed her mind and she sat up and glanced around. "I wonder what happened to Zeke?" 

"Dwell not on such trifling matters. It concerneth me not." 

"Aw, I feel kind of bad for kicking him out. Then again, it was worth it." She giggled in spite of herself.  

Vance's stomach let out a loud growl. "I declare my belly betrays a deep appetite. Perhaps we might seek out sustenance?"  

"Well, there's supposed to be breakfast served down in the lobby," Sarah yawned. "I wonder if there's a shower in this place?" She stood up and walked naked to the bathroom. There was a metallic pipe molded in the shape of a centipede sticking out of the wall, but it took her awhile to figure out how to get it to work. Finally she realized there were two colored spots on the ground and when she stepped on them water shot out of the pipe. 

Vance walked into the bathroom to admire the view, but declined an invitation to join her because he didn't want to get his shirt wet. He did, however, proceed to recite an ode to her goddess-like beauty. 

After a few minutes a pleasantly fragrant bubbly substance began to pour forth from the pipe. Sarah guessed it was the local equivalent of soap and shampoo and cleaned herself thoroughly. After a couple minutes, regular water came out again, washing off all of the bubbly lather. Shortly after that the shower shut off automatically. 

She stood there dripping wet, half expecting some sort of automatic blow dryer to emerge from some hidden compartment, but nothing happened. "Did you see if they provided any towels, honey?" she asked Vance. 

"I know not. Nor have I caught glimpse of such an item. Perhaps in yonder cabinet?" 

Sarah looked where Vance was pointing and noticed a small little door with a hole in it built into the wall. She stuck her finger in the hole and yanked it open causing a box-like camera with an imprint reading "Property of Sweaty Jim" to come tumbling out. There didn't seem to be any towels though. 

"Well, this sucks," Sarah frowned. "I hate trying to dress while I'm still wet. Do you mind if we wait a few minutes? Maybe I can dry out in the air." 

Vance sighed audibly. "Precious, thou knoweth I love thee. However, nourishment must not be delayed. Perchance we might converge in the lobby at a point in the not too distant future?" 

"All right, go ahead," she said, although Vance hadn't exactly waited for her approval before walking out the door. "I'll be down as soon as I'm dry."  

Sarah yawned and collapsed back on the bed, not caring that her hair was making the pillow water-soaked. She lay there a few minutes and dozed off without intending to.  

She awoke with a start, not sure of how much time had passed. She seemed to be mostly dry, although her hair was somewhat damp and she had no way to brush it. The bed had absorbed much of her moisture, but she figured it would be awhile before she needed to sleep on it again. She wondered what sort of housekeeping arrangements existed in this hotel. 

She dressed quickly and headed for the elevator tube, conscious that she may have been sleeping a fairly long time and Vance might be worried about her. 

She arrived in the lobby to find Vance seated at a table with a tall, slender human-like female with blue skin, bright red hair, and extremely large breasts. They were gazing into each other's eyes and Vance's hand was rubbing her knee, his fingertips inching underneath the edge of her skirt. 

"Hi honey," Sarah announced. "What's going on?" 

Vance instantly removed his hand from the woman's knee and whirled around with an obvious look of surprise etched on his face. "Ah, there thou art, my sweet. Verily, I have searched high and low for thee. Just at this moment I was inquiring of Tracy here if she had word of thy whereabouts." 

"The name's Theresa," the blue skinned woman said as she crossed her legs and took a sip from some sort of bubbly green beverage. She shook her foot back and forth casually and a bright red high-heeled shoe dangled carelessly from her toes. 

"Aye, Theresa. Forgive my error. At any rate, I have located my traveling companion. I thank thee for thy efforts on my behalf. Fare thee well." He glanced sideways at Sarah and then quickly whispered to the blue skinned woman "I am currently residing in room 503. Perhaps we might continue at a later time?" 

"Sure," she replied standing up. "I'll see you later." She stopped and gave Sarah a once over with her eyes before letting out a small laugh and continuing on her way. 

"Well, she seemed very nice," Sarah commented as she sat down at the table. 

"Aye, very well mannered indeed," Vance replied nervously. "But let us discuss other more pressing matters. Such as thine uncle." 

Sarah's face grew darker upon being reminded of her uncle. "Oh, I do hope he's okay. I don't have a clue where to even begin looking for him." 

"Fear not, for I have faith he will turn up." 

"You're probably right, Vance, but I can't help worrying about him. He's never gone missing before." 

A frog-like creature sitting at the next table perked up suddenly and leaped over to Sarah's side. "Did I hear you say someone was missing?" he asked excitedly. 

Sarah turned towards him surprised. "Why yes, my uncle. His name is Dr. Octavius. Have you heard of him?" 

"No," the creature said while blinking somewhat spastically. "But it just so happens that I'm the best detective in all of Quartzwater City. And I specialize in finding missing people. Well, that and cleaning bathrooms. When the detecting business is slow I do the whole janitor thing to make ends meet. But anyway, that's neither here nor there. You got someone missing, I'm just the guy to find him. Here's my card." 

He whipped out a business card and thrust it into Sarah's face. She took it uncertainly and began to read. "Maximillian J. Toad. Horny Toad Detective Agency." She stopped and looked at him. "Horny Toad Detective Agency? But you don't have any horns." 

"Well, no. But I am horny. Wanna screw?" 

Vance stood up angrily. "I'll thank thee not to speak unto my lady in such a foul manner."  

"Whoah, whoah, calm down there, Mr. Alpha Male. That's just what we in the biz like to refer to as a little bit of humor."  

Vance scowled and sat back down. 

"Touchy touchy," the toad shook his head. "Of course, fair lady, the offer still stands and is redeemable at any time. If this lunk here isn't doing the trick, I'd be happy to step in. But in the meantime, let's start thinking about this uncle of yours. I work for a modest price and I guarantee results. I can't give you your floss back if I fail, but I will promise you'll never see me again. So what do ya say? Am I hired?" 

"Do you really think you can find my uncle?" Sarah asked.  

"It's certainly a distinct possibility that I conceivably could," the toad said assuredly. "Hey, and just to show you I'm a stand-up guy I'll give you half price on the first five minutes I work for you. Oh, what the hell, I'm feeling generous. Let's make it the first six minutes." 

"What exactly is your fee?" Sarah asked. 

"Why just a paltry five strands an hour. Plus expenses. I'll need a full supply of food and booze. Also I can't say for sure, but most investigations worth their salt eventually go through strip clubs. I'll need a few strands to cover lap dances and that sort of thing. Also if you could let me crash at your place, that would be great. My old lady threw me out and I have nowhere to go." 

"I'll give you three strands an hour and I'll buy you breakfast. How's that?" Sarah negotiated. 

"Deal," the toad replied. "You can call me Max, by the way. Now let's get down to business. If I were an uncle where would I go? Is there some place where uncles just gather and hang out? Oh, would it be all right if I collected on that breakfast now? I do better detective work on a full stomach." 

"Sure," Sarah replied. "Help yourself. This one's on me." 

"Thanks, I really appreciate it, I gotta tell ya. I haven't eaten in three days!" Max hopped over to the buffet table that had been set up in the corner. He loaded up a huge dish of pureed spiders and flies, grabbed a handful of some sort of glowing blue sticks, and filled up a glass of the bubbling green liquid. He hopped back to the table and began to messily devour his meal. 

Realizing she was fairly hungry herself, Sarah sauntered over to the buffet table. Most of the food looked strange and, quite frankly, rather disgusting. She did see a bowl of something that looked like flower petals. She ventured to taste one and found it had a pleasantly sweet flavor.  

She filled up a plate with the petals and decided to sample the bubbling green beverage. It tasted slightly bitter and she wasn't sure if she liked it. She noticed several creatures dipping their cups in what appeared to be a toilet set up to the side of the buffet table. It looked like it was filled with good old-fashioned water. On the other hand, it was coming out of a toilet. Sarah decided the bubbling green beverage wasn't too bad and proceeded to fill up her glass. 

She paid for the meals at a nearby cashier's station that was manned by a rather disinterested looking kangaroo. Vance had apparently already eaten while she had been sleeping. She sat back down at the table and began to daintily munch on the flower petals. 

Max gobbled down the last little droplet of food, licked his plate clean, and chugged his drink. He then let out a loud belch. "Ahh," he announced as he leaned back in his chair and patted his belly. "That hit the spot. And I have good news for you. I've figured out where your uncle is." 

"Really?" Sarah paused in mid-chew. "How did you figure that out already?" 

"It's really quite obvious," Max said in a matter-of-fact tone. "He's clearly at the last place that he went to. Now we just need to figure out where he last went." 

Sarah narrowed her eyes in an un-amused fashion. "So in other words you really haven't figured out anything at all." 

"Au contraire, pretty lady," Max responded. "This was a huge breakthrough in the investigation. After all, we've narrowed his whereabouts down to the one location where he did go most recently, rather than the infinitely many places he didn't. And that, my friends, is why I'm a professional detective and you're not." 

Sarah felt a headache coming on. She glanced at Vance but he was sitting still with a blank look on his face. "Okay, but can you at least tell us where we should begin looking?" she sighed. 

"Well, naturally we'll begin at the beginning. If we began at the end there wouldn't be any point in conducting an investigation in the first place." He sat back with a rather smug look, but catching Sarah's increasingly hostile glares he quickly elaborated. "But I suppose you wanted a physical location to begin looking. Well, fear not! We will start out by consulting the Great Hazim!" 

"The Great Hazim?" Sarah repeated. 

"Yes! The Great Hazim! He knows all and sees all! Oddly enough he's completely blind, but that doesn't stop him. He's a close personal friend of mine and he owes me a favor. As soon as you guys are ready we'll go pay him a little visit." 

"Well, I'm ready now," Sarah said pushing her plate away. "How about you, honey?" 

"Aye," Vance replied. "I am prepared to descend into the very depths of hell to succeed in this quest." 

"Wow, a little melodramatic, aren't we there, buddy?" Max asked. "We're only going to the Institute for the Blind. It's not all that bad." 

"Where is it?" Sarah asked. 

"It's in the Northwestern quadrant. But if you've got a couple strands for the Roto-Bus it's not too long of a trip." 

"Okay," Sarah said. "Lead the way." 

* * *

The Roto-Bus appeared to be the preferred method of public transportation in Quartzwater City. It was a large circular-shaped vehicle that spun around quickly like a washing machine. The centrifugal force caused the passengers to stick to the walls. It reminded Sarah of a carnival ride she had always hated as a kid. She closed her eyes and tried to block out the nauseating whirring sound.  

Vance seemed to get quite a kick out of the whole experience and passed the time attempting to lift his arms in front of him and shaking his head from side to side. Max, in the meantime, leaned back nonchalantly and puffed on a cigarette.  

After about twenty minutes and several stops they arrived at their destination and got off. Sarah felt slightly dizzy and it took her a few minutes to get her land legs back. 

"Come on!" Max shouted excitedly. "The Institute for the Blind's only about a block away from here!" He began to hop off briskly down the street. 

"Art thee well?" Vance inquired. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sarah replied holding her stomach queasily. "We'd better follow him before he gets away from us." 

Max stopped at a large empty lot. "Well, here we are!" he announced. 

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked. "I don't see anything." 

"Of course not," Max laughed. "It's invisible." 

"What?" 

"Well, it's not like the blind people need to see it, so why go to all the extra effort to make it visible? Besides, this way everyone's kind of on an equal footing."  

"I see," Sarah said. 

"Or rather you don't see," Max corrected her. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." He reached into his shirt and pulled out a long yellow rope. "We'd better tie this around ourselves so we don't get separated. We're not going to be able to see much once we get inside."  

They each tied the rope around their waists and then Max set about looking for the entrance. "I know it's around here somewhere," he muttered while poking his hand around in the air. Suddenly it vanished entirely. "Aha! Here we are! Now stay close and follow me." Abruptly he disappeared into thin air.  

Sarah and Vance followed the rope into the entrance way and discovered that once inside the building they couldn't see themselves or each other. The empty lot was still visible, as well as the street behind them, but everything within the building was completely invisible. 

Sarah let out a little giggle and reached out to where she had last seen Vance to try to grab his butt.

"Whoa," Max said.  "Is that you, lady?  Are you deciding to take me up on my offer?  I could tell you liked me, but I didn't think you would be so forward." 

"Oh, gross!" Sarah said as she quickly pulled her hand away.  "My mistake.  Really.  I'm sorry."

"Pardon?" Vance asked from nearby.  "Is something amiss?"

"Nothing, baby, just bumped into someone.  On Accident."

"Right," Max said.  "A total accident.  I get it.  Look, I know I'm pretty irresistible, but maybe this isn't the time or place for this sort of thing.  We'll talk later, though, now that I know you want me."

"Oooh! If I could see you, I'd smack the living daylights out of you!" she growled. 

"Have I committed some misdeed to deserve such scorn?" Vance asked. 

"I wasn't talking to you, honey, I was talking to this pervert frog." 

"Uh, not to be anal, but I'm a toad." 

"You're gonna be a squashed green smear if you try that again, mister!" 

"Well, you're a corker, aren't you?" Max replied. "Ah, but I like my women feisty.  And forward.  I like when a lady makes the first move like you did.  Don't worry, you've made an excellent choice in dropping the meathead over there and choosing me instead.  But enough chit-chat, we have work to do."   He took a few bounces and slammed into an invisible wall. "Hmm, I thought there was a hallway there. Well, no need to worry. Just head straight back the way we came." 

"Which direction is straight back?" Sarah asked. "I'm completely disoriented." 

"That's because you're a chick," Max said calmly. "Don't worry, I'm a man and therefore have a superior sense of direction. We'll just go this way." He took a few bounces to his right and smacked into another wall, causing Sarah and Vance to trip over each other. "Not to worry, just a slight miscalculation. We'll be fine." 

"How are we going to get out of here?" Sarah asked. She put her hand up and felt a solid wall. "This is weird. I can see outside but I can't get there." 

"Would you stop worrying about outside? We still need to maneuver our way further in!" He took a few forceful hops to his left and hit a wall yet again. "Ouch! Damn it!" 

"Verily, this circumstance we find ourselves in has become most unpleasurable," Vance commented angrily.  

"Okay, I have a new idea," Max said. "Maybe if we yell Hazim's name really loudly he'll hear us and come down here." 

"It's worth a shot," Sarah agreed. 

Max cleared his throat and then shrieked with a piercing bellow "Haaaaziiiiiiiim!!!! Hello! If you can hear me come down here!" He paused to listen for approaching footsteps and then shouted again. 

After a few minutes they finally heard the clomping of feet somewhere off to the left and a deep voice grumbling "I'm here, I'm here. Just stop screaming, for God's sake. I'm blind not deaf." 

"Hazim, is that you?" Max turned towards the direction of the voice. 

"Yeah, what's it to you?" 

"It's me, Max. I'm here with two clients, Sarah and Vance." 

"Nice to meet you," Hazim said. He attempted to extend his hand in greeting and managed to smack Sarah in the face.

"Ouch!"  

"Oops, sorry about that, missy. I can't see a damn thing." 

"I can't either," Sarah sighed.  "I'm just going to keep my hands to myself so I don't accidentally molest anyone else.  Vance?  Are you here?  Do you want to come over and keep me company?"

"Since thou hast extended the invitation, how art I to resist?" Vance asked as he walked towards her voice. He reached out and touched something long and moist. 

"I say, could you please remove your hand from my nose, whoever you are?" Hazim asked.  

"Blast this accursed lack of vision," Vance swore as he released his grip. 

"So what brings you to these parts, Maximillian?" Hazim asked. "It's always a pleasure to talk to you."  

"Well, I'm working on a missing person case at the moment, and since you seem to always be on top of the local gossip, I was wondering if you've heard anything about a certain Dr. Octavius?" 

"Dr. Oscar Octavius?" Hazim asked. 

"Yes, that's him," Sarah spoke up excitedly. "Do you know where he is?" 

"Well, I've heard he's supposed to be the keynote speaker at the toenail convention that's going on at the Galloping Centipede Inn, so chances are he's staying there." 

"All right," Max said. "The Galloping Centipede Inn it is then." 

"Right where we already were," Sarah muttered. "You're leading us in circles, toad." 

"Yes, but as a wise man once said, sometimes you have to walk around the block just to get next door." 

"Who said that?" Sarah asked. 

"Why, I did just now," Max replied cheerfully. "Anyway, if it's not too much trouble, Hazim, could you help us find the exit? We seem to be a little lost." 

"You sighted folk are such babies," Hazim laughed. "Things get a little invisible on you and you just freak out. Well, don't worry I know this place like you know your way around a whorehouse, Max. Just grab my arm and I'll get you outside." 

"Thanks, buddy," Max said as he felt around for Hazim's arm. He finally located it and they proceeded to walk quickly towards the exit. 

Sarah felt the rope pulling her forward and she nearly fell over. A moment later Vance bumped into her from behind and this time she did fall. She was dragged along the floor several feet, as the others were completely oblivious to her plight. She managed to pull herself up just as they reached the outside and everybody materialized into view. 

Hazim turned out to be a rather ugly blue creature with pasty skin, a big round head and an impressively long nose. He wore eye patches over both eyes and had a mouth full of crooked yellow teeth. His green and pink Hawaiian shirt was wrinkled and mis-buttoned.  

"Well here you are, the outside world in all its glory," Hazim announced. "Not that it appears any different to me." 

"Thanks for your help, Hazim. I may need your services again in the near future." 

"Well, I'll be here," Hazim replied as he turned back into the Institute. "You know where to find me." 

"Yeah, sort of," Max said. Then turning to Sarah and Vance he smiled "Shall we return to the hotel?" 

Sarah punched him in the arm. 

"Ow!  What was that for?"

"For being a jerk in general.  And making sexist comments.  And letting me fall down and dragging me along.  There's actually a decently long list of reasons why you deserve to be punched.

"Yeah?  Is this how it's going to be between us?  Well, it just so happens I like it rough, baby." Sarah shot him a look of pure death, but he chose to ignore it. "Well, let's get on with the business of locating your uncle." 

She continued to glare at him menacingly, but followed along as he led the way back to the Roto-Bus stop.  

Along the way, Vance insisted that they stop at a little roadside produce stand so he could purchase a long string of garlic cloves. He wasn't sure why, but he had an overwhelming impulse to buy it, almost as if he wasn't in control of himself. He shrugged it off as he paid the strand of floss and shoved the garlic in his pocket.

* * *

The ride back was mostly uneventful, although Sarah still didn't care for the whole Roto-Bus experience. They walked back into the lobby of the Galloping Centipede Inn and found the front desk was now being attended by a short penguin with a bright yellow Hawaiian Shirt and a nametag that read "Wendy." 

"Excuse me," Sarah said. "Could you tell us what room Oscar Octavius is staying in?" 

The penguin blinked at her a few times and said "Yes." 

After a few seconds with no more information forthcoming Sarah sighed. "Would you be so kind as to do so?" 

"Oh yes, of course, just a moment." She pulled out a book and began flipping through it muttering to herself all the while. After a few minutes she slammed the book shut. "No Octavius here." 

"What?" Sarah's eyes betrayed her disappointment. "Now what are we going to do?" 

"Let me try talking to her," Max said and then walked up to the desk clearing his throat. "Excuse me, miss. Are you sure there's no Oscar Octavius staying here? He's supposed to be the keynote speaker at the toenail convention." 

Wendy's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh that guy. Yeah, he checked in here. But not under that name. It was Newton, I believe. Ike Newton." 

"Ah, see," Max smiled at Sarah. "Your uncle's a smart man. He obviously checked in under an assumed name to protect himself from his enemies." 

"Yeah, but unfortunately it didn't work," Wendy piped up. "His room blew up in the middle of the night. No survivors. Terrible shame." 

Sarah's face took on a wild look. "No! It can't be! He must be alive! Somehow!" 

"No, I'm afraid he's quite dead," Wendy said cheerfully. "Oh, here's a little something I recovered from the wreck." She reached under the desk and pulled out a bloody piece of pulpy sludge. She plopped it onto the desktop. "I think it might be a little piece of brain matter. Either that or a testicle. Whatever it is, it's all that's left of your uncle. You can have it if you want." 

Sarah took the little piece of sludge and stared at it in shock. 

Wendy continued to smile cheerfully. "Thank you for choosing the Galloping Centipede Inn. I hope you have a wonderful day."