Eleanor

September came and it was dreadful with all the papers I needed to finalize and submit if I wanted to pass. Also, I had been burying my face in a lot of books and on my laptop screen as I study my arse off for final exams. F*ck, ending the term is bloody stressful.

It would've been less dreadful if Louis was calling or texting or video calling me but- ugh, I sound like a clingy girlfriend which, well, I wasn't. It was just that Louis' texts were reduced to twice a week and his calls were slim to none. Not that I have the right to complain, I was just saying he could distract me for some time from this thing with his awful jokes and sassy remarks. He seemed to be good at that. I bet he could make me smile though I'm in the middle of sobbing.

I was currently lying down in the middle of my bed surrounded by books and papers and my laptop when I heard my phone sounded, indicating a message received. I had to search for it for five minutes, digging through my stuffs that was scattered on my bed before I finally found it tucked within my Sociology book and I vaguely remembered using it as a bookmark. Oops.

I opened the message and I swear my face was going to split because of who it was from.

From: Loubear

Did you know that the phrase 'I love you' isn't actually english ?

To: Loubear

It isn't?

From: Loubear

Just a quick joke, it is. But I love you anyway x

This guy's going to be the death of me.

**

I was failing miserably at attempting to make myself lunch when my phone made a ding! sound again. I walked towards the counter where I had put it and tapped it to see who texted me. I had someone in mind and I wasn't disappointed when I it flashed his name.

From: Loubear

Have you received it yet?

To: Loubear

Received what?

From: Loubear

The nudes I sent you

My eyes widened. He sent me what?!

To: Loubear

What?! WHERE

From: Loubear

Eager, aren't we ? ;) haha just kidding babe. I guess it hasn't been delivered yet but it should be there any minute now x

I finished reading his text just in time when someone ringed the doorbell. I cocked an eyebrow at the door's direction, silently wondering if it was the delivery Louis was telling me. I walked towards it, anticipating what it was he wanted to give me. I opened the door and I squealed.

"Aunt Clara!"

"Eleanor, oh God!"

We were a mess of arms wrapped around each other and I think I shed a tear. Aunt Clara is my mum's cousin and was the last (and my favorite) relative who took me in to be my guardian. She was also the longest I'd been with; she took care of me when I was fourteen up until I turned legal and my parents gave me my own house and made me live in it. She was single and still didn't have a family of her own back then when she took me in so she treated me like her own daughter (sister even, she just turned 32). I loved Aunt Clara like my own mum, or maybe a tad bit more and it had been a while since the last I saw her so I missed her loads.

"I missed you so much. I'm sorry I haven't visited you lately, there's just so much going on with--" I started but she cut me off.

"Babe, slow down, yeah? Let's sit and catch up for a while," she smiled warmly at me.

And talk we did.

We started to talk from anything to everything. It was just like that with her, easy. It's like I could tell her my darkest, deepest secret and she'd listen with so much insterest.

She asked me about the thing about Harry and I told her everything that had happened. She just rubbed my back and asked me if I was okay now and told her I was.

"How about you? Do you, like, have someone when the nights get lonely?" I wiggled my brows suggestively at her and she gaped at me.

"Oh my-- Eleanor! You did not just ask me about my sex life?" she asked.

"I did not! I was asking if you have someone to cuddle every night! Like a boyfriend or something," I giggle.

"I refuse to believe that's what you meant," she narrowed her eyes at me. "But anyway, to answer your question, yes, I do have a boyfriend."

I squealed. My aunt's a beautiful woman. She takes care and carry herself very well, you wouldn't guess she's 32. With her long wavy dirty blonde hair and her sexy curves, she'd pass for a 26.

She talked about his boyfriend in a very comical way that one would easily tell she's in so deep. Her eyes sparkled as she mention his name and he wasn't even in the room. And then I wondered if I looked like that when I talk about Louis.

"Aunt Clara?"

"Yes, hun?" she asked softly.

"Do you love him?" I asked.

"Very much so," her smile widened with a content sigh. "Why did you ask?"

"I was just wondering," I looked up from where I was staring at the ground, "... how do you know when you're inlove?"

She paused for a brief moment, like she was thinking of right words of how to put it. "Well--" she was cut off when the doorbell once again rang all throughout the house.

"Just a moment." I said before taking off towards the door and swung it open.

"Miss Eleanor Calder?" A guy wearing a white with blue detailed-uniform stood infront of me.

"Yes?"

"Delivery from Mr. Louis Tomlinson." he said showing a bouquet of red roses to me before making me sign a paper confirming I have received it.

I took the flowers and only then was I reminded about Louis' text. He sent me flowers, what a romantic guy. I smiled sweetly at the thought.

I went back inside, still smiling while looking at the flowers.

"So, Louis Tomlinson, huh?" Aunt Clara asked clearly hearing the name from the delivery guy.

I blushed, "No he's not-- we're not yet-- um. Well, yeah. I don't know." I blushed even more.

"Ah," she nodded her head. "Tell me more about this Louis."

I laid the flowers on the coffee table and sat back down beside her, making a mental note to thank Louis later before answering, "Well, Louis' not my boyfriend--"

"Yet?" She asked.

"Yet." I confirmed, "Louis is a very, very sweet guy."

"I can tell." She said gesturing to the flowers.

I laughed, "Yes. But he's also sassy as f*ck. I mean it! You never mess with that guy or he'd drag your as* down. It's funny."

She nodded, waiting for me to continue.

"And he makes me laugh. Every d*mn time. Even when I'm having a bad day, he's the only person who could make me bloody cry out of laughter," I smiled and took a shaky breath, suddenly feeling a strong urge to cry, "And he stayed, Aunt Clara. He saw me through my worst state but he stood by me. He didn't walk away like everybody did."

Her eyes soften, knowing what I've been through, and nodded. "And the thing that's holding you back is?" she asked, knowing very well there was a negative side to the story.

"I'm not certain of what I feel. It's not that I don't think it's strong enough to qualify as love, it's just that I don't know what love feels like." I paused, "The emotion I feel towards Louis is strong -- stronger that what I felt for Harry, maybe even the strongest I have ever felt -- that, I can tell you. I just can't determine what exact emotion it is because I can't even begin to tell you how it feels."

"This is the reason you asked me how I know I love James, am I correct?" she asked in which I nodded to. "Wanna know what I think?"

"What?" I asked wide-eyed.

"I think you're inlove with Louis."

I inhaled sharply.

"You don't know you love someone dear, you feel it," she picked up the bouquet from the coffee table, examining it before continuing, "Love is the strongest emotion one can ever feel. It can overpower sadness, pain and even loneliness. But no matter how hard I try to explain put into words what love feels like, I would never get across what I actually mean. Because that's how love goes; it can only be felt, not explained."

I watch her as she picked something that was tucked inbetween the flowers-- a little card. She smiled fondly at it before putting it back and turning to me.

"You don't love someone because he's funny or he's sweet or because he loved you first, no. Love has it's own reason and that reason is unknown." She tucked the stray hairs curtaining my face behind my ear. "It's just the little things that make you fall a little bit more."

I took the bouquet from Aunt Clara's lap and took the tiny card from it to see for myself what it says.

Aunt Clara peered over my shoulder as I read what the card says before she continued speaking, "When you feel something so strong but cannot determine what it is-- stop thinking. And there, in the middle of your heart, even though you fail to find the perfect words to express it, your heart will feel what your mind can never tell."

I reread over and over again what the card says as if if I looked away for even a second, a single letter would be gone.

I didn't just wake up one day and knew that I love you. I feel it in my heart.
I miss you ! -Louis xx

**

Aunt Clara was sleeping soundly beside me as I texted with Louis later that night so I tried my very best not to giggle like a highschool girl getting noticed by her crush to not wake her up. I'm telling you, it was hard.

To: Loubear

Thank you for the flowers and the note. Aww you're so romantic, it's cute :')

From: Loubear

I'm not cute, I'm bloody manly !!

To: Loubear

Ofcourse you are lol. But seriously though, thank you. I feel bad I don't get you anything :(

From: Loubear

Don't be sad El :( it's okay , you don't have to get me anything . I'm happy getting something for you

Maybe I should stop trying to figure out what I feel and start just feeling it.

Maybe Aunt Clara was right.

To: Loubear

I still feel bad :(

From: Loubear

Aha !

From: Loubear

I just thought of something you could do to pay me back !! ;) x

To: Loubear

I'm afraid to ask what...?

From: Louis

;)

From: Louis

Send me nude pics ;) x

I can't believe I'm saying this right now, but I'm inlove with this as*hole.

**

A/N: I've finally updated after forever!! Sorry, school works are piling since we're nearing the end of the term AND because I've finished writing a short zerrie fanfic (check it out!) but anyway, hiiii friends! what do you think of this chapter? :)

I'm thinking of putting an end to this book and just put my other ideas on a sequel so there'd be a flow to the story idk yet lol dont mind me :)))))