Chapter Twenty-Two

Mikah

With warm bagels and coffee in hand, I entered the apartment. I'd only been gone an hour, but I was ready to be back in bed with Hallie. It was the only way I wanted to spend my holiday. Naked and holding her... nothing sounded better.

I placed the bag of bagels on the counter. There was an assortment of flavors and various cream cheeses, but I pulled out a blueberry for Hallie. My shoes were barely kicked off when she strode through the living room with a duffle bag slung over her arm.

"Where are you going?" I asked, holding up the bagel.

My nerves knotted as soon as she turned to me. She'd been crying, and that was definitely not the sleepy girl I'd left in my bed this morning. Hallie's head shook at me. I'd seen Hallie pissed at me many times—sometimes furiously. This wasn't that. I'd made her not want to speak to me.

I tossed the bagel back in the bag as she put on her shoes. My arms crossed, waiting for to explain what I'd done. But they uncrossed the moment she reached for the doorknob. I bolted for her. I didn't get there soon enough to hold the door shut, but I stopped enough to not let her pass through it.

"Hallie, talk to me."

She tried to push her way past me, but her tiny frame would not get past me that easily. "Let me out."

"No."

"Mikah, I mean it."

"What the hell, Hal? What is going on with you?"

As I attempted to cradle her face, my hand was slapped away. Her tear-soaked eyes wouldn't even look at me. I was wracking my brain, trying to remember anything that could have made her do a one-eighty from last night. I'd been in many arguments that didn't go in my favor over the last few years with Shelby, but whatever I'd done hurt Hallie badly. The only thing I could think of was... oh shit.

"The blog?"

Heavier tears caved from her lower lashes. I wanted to wipe them away, but she was beyond upset with me right now. But part of me was upset too. The only way she could have found out about that was my phone—the one I'd left in the pocket of pants last night, but was now sitting right beside the bag of bagels. I hadn't even noticed its movement.

"You went through my phone?" I asked.

"Well, your fiancée called multiple times. Seems she's really missing those kisses she got a few weeks ago..."

"You know she's not my fiancée, Hallie."

She scoffed. "Funny, because she doesn't. I should have known that the ring still being in your top drawer meant something."

If something meant forgetting it was in there until I opened the drawer, then yes. Shelby had not even been on my mind as of late. I'd been dodging phone calls and messages for weeks, and honestly, I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. While I'd never forgiven her for the night I proposed to her, she didn't deserve what I'd been doing for the last few years. The sleeping together, the false hope... I should have ended it a long time ago. I knew she would backfire in my face, but I thought that lashing would come from my family, not the woman I'd fallen for.

"Hallie, Shelby and I aren't a thing. She kissed me over Thanksgiving. It was weird, and I haven't talked to her since. I will call her right now and tell her that if I need to."

While she paused, her head shook no, because she knew better. She knew when I said I was all in last night that I meant it.

"You have been lying to me from the start." She sobbed, dropping her head into her hands to shield her face. "All those times we were together, you were using my list against me."

"Hal, no..."

I tried to wrap my arms around her, and you would have thought I burned her the way she jumped away from me. "Then why didn't you tell me you were reading it?"

"I wanted all those things as much as you. It was wrong, and I knew it was wrong. But I enjoyed being in your head."

"Yeah, well, that's not exactly fair when I haven't been in yours. I'm not staying here tonight." She pushed me so hard that I stumbled backwards. I stood at the top of the stairs and watched her reach the first floor.

"Hallie, don't go."

But she didn't bother turning around before disappearing.

***

Thursdays seemed to come around fast these days. While the last few dinners with Ollie and Sloan had been beneficial for my business plans, I wasn't feeling up for this one. I'd tried to bail by text and was promptly told to get my ass into my truck and be there by six by my brother. He didn't need the wrath of a pregnant Sloan because of me. I understood that. It still didn't make me any more eager to go.

My stomach churned as I pulled open the screen door, unsure of what was awaiting me inside. Hallie hadn't spoken to me in five days, and while I didn't see her car here, it had to be where she was hiding out. She couldn't avoid me forever, but forcing her into it wasn't helping either of us.

"In here!" Sloan called from the kitchen, as if she'd be anywhere else.

I followed the scent of barbequed ribs, and it made my mouth water. My stomach rumbled, reminding me I'd been eating nothing but stale bagels for days. Sloan stood at the oven, fanning herself with a rubber spatula and holding her growing belly with the other hand. Every time I saw her, she was more round.

I kissed her cheek to greet her. "Smells great."

"Thank you!" Sloan beamed before screaming for Ollie to come downstairs.

I leaned into the counter and looked around, not spotting Hallie yet. I sighed. "She going to avoid me all night?"

Sloan slathered the ribs in barbeque sauce before placing them back into the broiler. "Who?"

"Hallie."

"Why would she be avoiding you? Isn't she with you?"

"No... I thought she was staying here?"

"Here?" Sloan asked, puzzled. "Why would she be staying here?"

I fell silent. If she wasn't here, that left Kit. And Kit would not break whatever code women had and actually tell me she was there. Sloan was still eying me quizzically, waiting for an answer why Hallie was not here and was likely not about to be. Ollie coming down the stairs and asking where Hallie was didn't help that matter.

"You two love-birds break up?" Ollie joked and slapped my back when I couldn't answer.

I ran my fingers through my hair and shrugged. "I really fucking hope not."

Ollie and Sloan shared a look that was just as surprised as I was when I'd realized I'd fallen for Hallie Reynolds. We should have been the ones with good news for once. This was not how I wanted to tell them. I wanted to kiss Hallie in front of everyone without a single care of who saw us... the same way we shared our first kiss. Judging by Ollie's and Sloan's faces, they missed that part of the night.

"Is she okay?" Sloan asked.

I nodded. I knew how strong Hallie was, and I knew she was okay. She wouldn't want anyone to think she wasn't. She was good at hiding her actual emotions from people, and part of me prided myself on when I could see through it. Hallie would be fine through this. She had to be fine... but she was not fine when she left. She told me not kiss her unless I meant it, and now she believed I didn't.

And me, I was now a wreck.

"I fucked up." It was the first time in a long time that I felt the sting in my eyes that threatened tears. My voice cracked. "Shelby kissed me over Thanksgiving, and I didn't tell Hallie. I also didn't tell Shelby we were through and slept with her up until Cancun."

I waited for my scolding about Shelby. I'd been dreading this for a year. Ollie was bound to berate my choice to continue fucking her after we'd broken up. But the lashing didn't come. Ollie's head bobbed a few times before he gripped my shoulder and gave it a little shake.

"Let's go talk," he said before grabbing his jacket.

"Talk?"

"Yeah." Ollie selected a toothpick from a cup on the counter before he motioned for me to follow him.

In tow behind him, and still with my coat on, we walked to the front porch. Ollie took a seat on the porch swing while I opted to sit on the railing. I wasn't sure who was going to talk first, so for the first few minutes of being out in the cold, we were silent.

"It's been a long time since I've done the big brother thing, Mikah. You're an adult. A stubborn one. But I'm going to put my two cents out there, and you could do what you want with it."

I blew hot air into my hands before rubbing them together. It was freezing out, and whatever he needed to say about my relationship with Shelby, I was hoping he'd be quick and to the point.

"I have never seen you happier than when you are with Hallie," Ollie started, causing my head to snap up upward to make contact. "I'd fucked up too. You remember that? Sloan told me she was in love with me, and even though I knew I loved her back, I didn't say it. Instead, I ran."

"Yeah."

"And my little brother came in with some seriously good advice and got me back on the right track. Now I'm married to that girl, and we have a plus one on the way."

"You don't need to..." I was still choking up.

"Get off your ass and go find her."

I laughed as I dropped my head into my hands. Ollie stood from the swing to wrap one arm around me as I tried to play off the tears.

"She stuck around after Mom saw her in a sex swing, dude. Any other woman would have run and never showed their face again—Shelby included." Ollie glared at me after putting emphasis on that last part. That was as much of a scolding about her as I'd be getting. "This has been going on between you and Hallie for years, and everyone has been waiting for you both to realize it. Do not fuck this up. You do what you have to do to make it right."

I nodded, but it wouldn't be that easy. "I think she's with Kit."

"Well," Ollie said as he smacked my back. "You're fucked. Good talk."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

***

Kit, just as I had guessed, denied any involvement in Hallie's disappearing act. She swore up and down that she had not talked to Hallie since she'd bailed on Kit on New Year's Eve. And because I trusted nothing out of my sister's mouth, I did the only thing I could do. I got our mother involved.

But she told Mom the same story... that Hallie was not there.

She had other friends from work and school, but I didn't know any of them other than them randomly showing up at my apartment to study with Hallie for their NCLEX. She could be anywhere. But I knew Hallie, and her heart always came first. There was no way she was bailing on work—she cared for her patients way too much to miss five days. Just being in Cancun for a few days nearly killed her.

I entered the nursing home at eight in the evening, exhausted from driving around Chicago all day. While this wasn't usually Hallie's shift, I had to hope that maybe she was pulling doubles just to avoid me. There were also days she stayed late to talk to Harold, because she feared he had no one else to talk to. His room was my last hope. The older man sat upright in his bed with his hand straight out, pointing the remote at the television while scanning the channels.

"I figured you'd show up eventually," he said without looking in my direction.

"How?" I asked, taking the seat beside his bed.

"Blondie hasn't been smiley these last few days. In fact, she's been a royal pain in my ass. She wouldn't give me my beer when I told her I didn't want to take part in meatloaf Monday. Haven't had one all week. I want my damn beer."

"Buddy, I own a bar. I'll get you a beer right now and a free one for the rest of your days if you can tell me who she's staying with."

Harold's eyebrow cocked. I had his attention. He pointed to a compact fridge that was below a vanity in the room's corner. I stood and retrieved a single beer, which was all that was stocked in the fridge, and handed it off to him.

"I knew I liked you." He cracked the beer and took a sip. "Which bar?"

"Mulligan's in downtown Chicago."

He nodded, the smile from the beer faded. "I used to take my wife there."

Hearing that made me proud to be a part of a restaurant that had been around this long. My dad would have loved hearing that. And like my dad, I got the impression that Harold's wife was no longer around. That explained the absence of visitors while still donning a wedding ring.

"She's staying with her family."

"She's what?" I asked, feeling heat surge through my veins. That was the last place I thought she'd go.

Harold confirmed with another nod. "Listen, roommate, I get the impression Blondie didn't have the best childhood. My wife was adopted, and she didn't either. I think that's why I've got such a soft spot for her."

I gave Harold a look that told him his guess was right, but that was as much detail as he was getting. That was the last place I wanted Hallie to end up at because of me. She hated it there. All I could do was think of the day I'd picked her up, and how anxious she was.

"Those are the ones that need all the love you can give them. Okay? Every chance you get, make sure she knows she's cherished. And if you break Blondie's heart, I'll show up at your bar and break your face. Got it?"

"Got it," I agreed.

"Go get her, kid."

He didn't have to tell me twice.