«Here, bite this.» you ordered with lifeless voice (and chest), while inserting a piece of wood in the mouth of your patient.

He obeyed, red face covered in sweat, and you repositioned his knee without giving him the time to adjust to the idea. The pirate crunched the wood between his teeth, muffling the scream.

«It's okay, you'll be fine.»

Your unsteady legs slid lightly while turning to the few men who were helping you with all the injured.

«I'm going to the next ship. Call me if any emergency surgery is needed.»

One of the pirates - you recognized him, he was some allied captain - grabbed your shoulder and immediately retracted his hand when you shot him a dead glare.

«[Y/n]-san... you should rest a few hours. You didn't even take a seat since the war ended.»

«I'm fine.» you snorted, swiftly heading for the door of the cabin.

Once on the deck, the cold air hit you as the night swallowed you.

I didn't notice it was dark already...

«[Y/n]?»

You turned to the voice.

Red-haired Shanks was there, his half-buttoned shirt revealing his toned chest, fire-red hair freely weaving on his face and resolute black eyes planted on yours.

However, the day had been too long and your heart was too broken to feel intimidated in front of the man, even if he was a Yonko.

Your father used to be one, afterall.

Nevertheless, you owed respect and gratitude to Shanks, so you turned completely to face him, tired eyes buried in your pale skin.

«Red.»

Unexpectedly, when he reached you, he palmed your arm.

«You've done too much. Please, lay down for a while.»

Your first impulse was to snatch his hand away from you, but you suffocated it.

«No, thanks.» you answered instead, with low voice «I couldn't, anyway. I must save as many men as I can. No one else is dying on my watch.»

Shanks sighed, bringing his hand from your arm to his forehead.

«Seriously, you and Marco should just stop. You're going to destroy yourselves.»

So be it.

But the mention of Marco made your chest sink a little more. The expression on your face crumpled a little, and red-haired Shanks didn't fail to notice.

«He's on the third ship.» he commented with a softer tone, hinting to his right towards the other ships «He's injured, and restless. We've tried to stop him, but it's no use. Maybe he will listen to you.»

Before you could avoid it, your eyes travelled above the black rough sea, towards the direction Shanks indicated. You bit your bottom lip lightly.

«Marco is the commander of the first division. I'm not keeping him from his duties.»

With a brief bow, you turned your back to the Yonko, heading to the railing, but his hand grabbed your shoulder once again.

This time, rage radiated violently through your body, and you snapped his touch away from you.

«What do you want, Red?!» you barked, abruptly facing him.

Shanks didn't seem impressed by your reaction. He observed you with serious eyes.

«It's okay to suffer, [Y/n]. You lost almost everything. But you are not alone: your brothers need you, now more than ever, and you need them. Just for tonight, please, let me and my crew take care of you, and mourn for your losses.»

You tried to swallow a thick knot in your throat. Your fingers rapidly collected the tears which were threatening to leave your eyes.

«I-I... I'm sorry, Red-haired. Thanks.»

Shanks smiled.

«Don't mention it. You're such a strong woman, I've always envied Whitebeard for having you in his crew.»

A small smile lingered on your lips too.

Yasopp accompanied you on the other ship and indicated the direction. Once below deck, you just followed the sound of the few voices. It was the middle of the night, and most of the men were sleeping or sedated.

Finally, warm baths were able to bring Jozu back to his original status. Closed in the bathroom, Marco and Vista assisted while the ice thawed and informed the brother about Ace and Whitebeard's death.

You listened to his unrestrained sobs from beyond the door, biting hard your inner cheek to suppress your own tears.

After a while, Marco left the room, leaving Vista with Jozu.

His half-lidded eyes shook for a second when they focused on you.

«[Y/n]?»

A ragged sigh left your lungs when you saw him.

The first commander was injured, weary. His skin was paler and marked, his eyes sunk in his face, his shoulders were bent.

Nevertheless, he took a step towards you, closing the distance and palming your arms.

«You should be sleeping, yoi. You did too much, you're going to be sick.»

Oh my god.

Without a word, you grabbed his sleeve and dragged him in the first empty cabin you saw, almost slamming the door behind you. He didn't even try to resist, although a slightly surprised expression met your trembling eyes, when you faced again.

«[Y/n], what-»

«It's okay!»

Your hand crawled up to his unbuttoned shirt, grabbing the edge of the fabric, over the tattoo on his skin. Your chest was brushing against his torso.

«It's okay...» you whispered again, locking your watery eyes with his «You can break with me.»

His eyes slowly shut open at your words.

Tears were running down to your cheeks, but you managed to keep a peaceful expression, while his face began to bend.

You stood on your toe to cup his jaw between your hands.

«We will take care of our men. They will be fine. But first, I will take care of you.»

Suddenly, he grasped the fabric of the jacket Shanks lent you, pulling you closer.

The first tears peeped out his lids while he grit his teeth, unable to contain himself anymore.

You gave him a shaky smile, your vision blurred.

Pops. Ace.

Oh my god.

You couldn't swallow, and it felt like a part of your soul was mercilessly torn off from your insides, leaving an enormous empty space in your body.

Marco finally held you tight in his arms, burying his face in the crook of your neck and crying silently against your skin.

You grasped on his back, pressing your own hand on your mouth to suppress your despair.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Images of Ace's cheeky grin and Pops' warm voice were torturing your worn mind. The thought of having lost them forever, the awareness that nothing would be the same from that moment on were tearing you apart.

And Marco was going through the same hell, you knew that.

His grip became impossibly tight. His body was shaking along yours, in the dim light of the cabin.

You both slowly slid on your knees, without letting an inch insinuate between each other.

Scenes of Marineford replayed over and over in your brief jagged nightmares, when you finally fell asleep.

Waking up was even worse, because the consciousness that everything really happened hit you like a blade in your stomach.

You found yourself wrapped in unknown blankets, on an unknown bed. But your forehead was resting on a well-known tattooed chest.

You stretched your aching fingers, still clenched to Marco's shirt.

He was laying beside you, face leaning on his hand, lightly caressing your hair, eyes lost on the sky beyond the porthole.

«You can keep on sleeping, yoi.»

His low voice rumbled in his chest.

You just breathed slowly, trying to focus on the present seconds.

His fingers through your hair felt good.

«I'm sorry.» your murmured after a while «It seems I broke up too.»

His hand lowered to your back, rubbing it gently. You snuggled against his warmness.

«I'm proud of you.» he said «And Pops was too, you know? He told me, right after we decided to go to war, yoi. He said he couldn't be more happy about the woman you became.»

You shut your eyes and press your face against his body.

«As for Ace...»

Marco sighed.

He was able to recollect himself during the night. The pain was still there, it would have always been there. But he had to find a way to put up with it, find a place to place it.

«...I know he loved you too, yoi. Death doesn't change that. You will always belong to each other, [Y/n].»

Although your insides were a painful mess and your pulsating head was threatening to explode anytime soon, you sensed something wrong in his last words.

It was hard to dethatch yourself from him, but you forced your body to, in order to look him in the eyes.

«What?» you asked with shaky voice.

He lowered his face. An interrogative expression insinuated his features at first, but then he seemed to understand.

«I know about you and Ace. I think everybody does.» he explained calmly.

You frowned. Shit, your head was really hurting now.

«I don't understand.»

His expression appeared a little bit unsure.

«[Y/n], yoi... I know you and Ace were in love with each other.»

Your [e/c] eyes widened.

«Maybe it wasn't the right time to bring this up, I'm sorry.» he said apologetically, diverting his glance from yours.

Air, I need air.

You moved, sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing your face.

Marco lifted himself as well.

«[Y/n], I'm sorry, yoi.» he repeated.

«My god, Marco... I can't believe this.»

«Listen, yoi, there's no need to feel upset-»

«You got it all wrong!»

There was a hint of hysteria, in your utter, that stopped him.

«W-what do you mean, yoi?»

You let out a bitter dry laugh.

«It's absurd... Ace and I were not in love! I was... it seems all so meaningless now, I don't care anymore.»

New tears stung the corner of your eyes as you grasped the fabric of your pants.

Slowly, you turned to his confused face. However, his expression faded in painful concern when he saw your tormented tears.

«It was you, Marco. It's always been you.»

For the first time in your life, you saw his eyes completely widened.

Years ago

«Thatch, yoi, you idiot!»

The brunette was running for his life on the Deck of the Moby Dick, closely chased by the first commander.

«[Y/N]!!»

As soon as he spotted you, he jolted behind your back, grabbing your shoulders and using your body as a human shield against an angry Marco.

«Woha!» you cried in surprised, stiffening. Having a broken arm stuck in the plaster cast was not helping.

Marco stopped in front of you, narrowing his eyes to the crewmate.

«Don't you dare using [Y/n] as a shield after what you've done.»

«[Y/n], help meeee!» Thatch whined, snuggling his chin in your shoulder «Marco's gonna kill me!»

«Let me go! I don't want to be part of this!»

«You can bet I'm going to kill you, yoi!» roared the blond, pointing at your arm «You said you would take care of her, yoi! I came back, and she's all in cast!»

«What?! Is that the reason why you're fighting?» you shouted, offended.

«I know, I know, I'm sorry!» Thatch cried, without even listening to you «Turns out those Minks are stronger than expected, they didn't recognize us at first, and I was a little busy with their leader, and-»

«I don't care!» Marco snapped, finally seeing an opening and hitting Thatch right in the forehead with the heel of his sandal. The poor man went flying against the railing, almost breaking it.

«Marco!» you called, still outraged «What's the meaning of this? I'm sick about you guys always keeping me behind! I cannot stand being watched like a little girl! I'm a Whitebeard pirate too!»

«Hm?»

He glanced at you, pinching the bridge of his nose with his finger.

«Yeah, sure, yoi.»

«DON'T YOU "YEAH SURE YOI" ME, YOU DAMN PEANAPPLE!» you barked, more fired than ever.

He removed his hand from his face, revealing a lenient but soft smile and, without any warning, he flicked your forehead.

«Ouch!» you uttered, bringing the good fingers where he hit you «I AM GOING TO KILL-»

«I'm sorry, yoi.» but he was smiling confidently as he patted your head and leaned his forehead on yours.

A sudden warm invaded your cheeks.

«I know you're all grown up and everything, yoi, but I just can't help worrying for my little sister. So forgive me, okay?»

Marco gave you a light peck on your head before leaving.

Blushing softly, you traced his path with lost eyes.

«I saw that~»

You jumped as the familiar sneaky voice purred directly in your ear.

«Ace!! When the hell...»

He shot his flashy smile a few inches from your face.

«I saw that! Now I get the deal... you could have said earlier that you and commander Marc-»

The hit centred him on the back on his head, making him quiver.

«Shut up!» you shushed «I don't know what you're talking about!»

Ace stood back in front of you, rubbing his head with a pout.

«No use in lying, [Y/n]! Your face is as red as red-haired Shanks, and I personally met him. I can assure you he has bright red hair.»

An uneasy grimace entered your expression.

«So what if I was a little embarrassed? It's not a big deal!»

«Oh, isn't it? How weird.»

Here it was, the teasing smile back on that freckled face.

«Because Vista ruffles your hair all the time, Haruta is a hugger and Thatch is always pranking you, but I've never seen you totter, not even once. Then Marco comes around, and you become this... blushing mess.»

«I'm not...!» you muffled your own words, cursing between your teeth.

Ace rolled his eyes.

«Oh, please, it's so obvious!»

You sighed, eyes glued to the wooden floor of the deck.

«Although I'm a little disappointed, now. He's an oldy, and still he outclassed me this way...»

«Hey!» you scoffed, snapping your eyes back in his face.

«Okay, okay, I'm sorry!» he laughed, opening his arms «But still, how could you fall for someone so older?»

Your lips twitched as you approached the railing, followed by Ace.

The leak of your secret scared you, but at the same time it felt good to be able to speak with someone. Plus, Ace could be an ass, but he was your bigger brother and you trusted him.

«When Pops' crew found me... I was sick.» you began softly.

Ace immediately became serious.

«I'm a survivor from the White city.» you explained.

The words took a few seconds to fully enter Ace's mind, but he eventually realized and his black eyes widened a little.

«Oh, [Y/n], I didn't know...»

He placed a hand on your back.

«It's fine.» you smiled «It's been years. My father was able to make me and my mother escape before the massacre began. But she went insane after seeing what happened to our city, and she killed herself shortly after. I was wandering on an island in the North Blue looking for food when they found me.»

The memories were freely flowing in your mind, almost not hurting anymore.

«I don't know why they took a hopeless orphan on their ship. They knew I was doomed, so maybe it was an act of kindness from Pops... anyway, an year passed, and I worked as a cabin girl until I finally fell unable to move. That was when the news of a boy who ate the Ope Ope no Mi spread.» you smiled to the sea «He's a super rookie like you, now. His name is Trafalgar Law.»

Ace mumbled between himself.

«Wait, I think I saw his bounty somewhere... Oh! In your room!»

He clicked his finger, pointing at you.

«Yep, I admit that, I kept his poster.»

The ravenette narrowed his eyes.

«Hey, does this mean you're in love with him too?»

You chuckled.

«No, idiot. But there's some sort of link between me and him. When the news of the Ope Ope no Mi came around, Marco insisted with Pops to look for this boy and try to save my life. Eventually, we left for the North Blue. Just me and him.» you sighed at the memory «I was still a little girl, and I could barely afford a few hours awake in a day at that point. I just remember the sea was wide and cold, but there were always blue flames around me to protect me.»

Ace hummed.

«When we found Law, we discovered he was from Flevance too. He had just learnt how to heal himself from the Amber Lead Syndrome and didn't hesitate to treat another survivor. He was just a few years older than me... I didn't know him before, but I remember his father, he was one of the best doctors of the city. Law's a wonderful surgeon himself now.» you glanced at Ace «He saved my life and we are the only ones left sharing Flevance's legacy. Of course I kept his bounty, when he became a super rookie. Plus, he grew up pretty handsome, huh?»

You smirked at Ace's vexed expression.

«Weren't we talking about Marco?»

You shrugged.

«There's nothing left to say, actually. I guess I told you all this because it started then. Marco is the one who didn't give up on me, and the reason why I'm still alive.»

«So basically you've always been in love with him.»

A soft dust of pink diffused on your cheeks.

«And what does he think about that?»

«What?»

«Let's ask him!»

Ace grinned and turned to the cabins, but you threw yourself at him, restraining his arm at the best of your possibilities.

«WAIT! Are you insane?!»

«What's the matter, [Y/n]? You have to know how he feels, otherwise things will never change!»

«I already know how he feels!» you uttered frantically, trying to restrain your sneaky older brother «To him, I'm just his little sister! It's only natural, I was a little kid when we first met!»

«But you cannot be sure-»

«You saw us! Did he ever show anything which made you believe he could be attracted to me?»

Ace stopped. His lips curled, signalling he was trying to recall.

After a few seconds, he seemed to wilt a little.

«Exactly.» you said quietly, letting him go «Now, please Ace, promise me you won't do nor say anything. He's smart. The others don't know either, and I would like everything to stay this way.»

You looked in his eyes with a pleading expression.

He grimaced, unsure.

«But...»

«Please, Ace! I'm happy here, this crew is my family. I don't want anything to change! Please, don't be the one who ruins it.»

He lowered his head, defeated.

«Okay, I promise.»

You smiled to him, then placed a light kiss on his cheek.

«Thanks.»

He glared at you.

«Will you be okay?»

«I'm always okay!»

«Just... come to me if you feel sad, will you?»

You nodded, grateful, and he wrapped his warm arms around you.

Now.

You could see Marco's face crumbling on itself.

Terrible timing. But who cares anymore?

«It's no big deal.» you muttered, head leaning against the cold wall, exhausted.

«[Y/n], I...»

«It's no big deal.» you repeated, closing your eyes to avoid other tears to line your cheeks.