"My dream started off sweet, as most dreams do. This dream started off on my happiest day..." 

1938. 

Riverside Church.

With views overlooking the Hudson River stood Riverside Church as it towered over everything else. The tallest church in all of the United States who's carillon bells could be heard for miles, and currently the chimes were tolling as it alerted every New Yorker of a wedding being held within it's Neo-Gothic, vaulted walls. A very special day was happening, the marriage of soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. 

Beyond the prismatic stained glass windows, the sky high tower and stone arches, deep within the Byzantine styled structure sat a woman dressed in white, getting ready for the big day. 

In front of the vanity the bride's gown trailed to the floor in pearly silks and ivory satin's, the gauzy veil pinned into the up-do, not a stray curl in sight. 

The Depression had finally reached it's expiration date, and the economy was recovering after it's lengthy, and fatal stock market crash back in '29. The GDP, and GNP were up again and all seemed to be well. Slowly, but surely the world was recuperating after the lethal ailment in the shape of unemployment. 

And, today, on a quiet Spring day I was marrying the love of my life. The man I met a year ago who, on the first day of meeting him, I just knew was going to be my partner in life. I loved him the moment I laid eyes on him, and he loved me. 

Staring at myself in the mirror I applied some red lipstick and fixed the lace of my gloves, just outside the Hudson shimmering beneath the light of day. The rippling water bending onto itself as it's current kept up a transient pace. 

A smile couldn't seem to leave my lips, not that I minded. I was happy to start this next chapter of my life. 

A knock came from within the hallowed church halls and I quickly said "come in" to who ever it was. The sight of a feathery blonde man soon reflected within the vanity mirror and immediately I turned around to face him. 

Steve wore a tux, the suits jacket slightly ill-fitting as it hung loose in some places over his small frame, but he looked charming nonetheless. His shoes shined, his hair tamed with gel, and I watched as he shoved his hands into his pants. His eyes the color of the sky and he looked at me with such a bittersweet visage. Sad and happy all at once, two competing emotions that left the heart feeling inexorably heavy. 

And, I knew why, but on a day like this I didn't want to bring up the feelings he felt towards me. I didn't need to, as to Steve, if Bucky and I were happy that's all that mattered to him. 

"What do you think?" I spoke up, standing from the upholstered stool and giving my friend a little twirl, my alabaster dress flowing around me like waves in the sea. 

"You look beautiful, Becky. But, then again you always do." Steve commented, and I swiped a white rose from my bouquet and waltzed over to him, noticing a missing element in his ensemble.

"You're the best man, you have to look the part." I said, slipping the fragrant flower into the lapel of his tux. 

"You happy?" Steve suddenly brought up, wanting to double-check. Bucky meant the world to him after all. 

"Of course," I countered, staring down at the scrupulous blonde. "Today is the happiest day of my life, you know. I love James." 

"Good. But, speaking of Buck... He's just outside. Says he can't wait until the altar to kiss his wife." Steve disclosed, and I took a swift glance over at the closed door.

"Well, you tell him that he's gonna have to wait. And, I'm not his wife yet." I chided with a laugh in my tone, just loud enough for the handsome brunette to undoubtedly hear me from within the hallway. 

Steve mustered up a grin, and after kissing his cheek, and engulfing him in a quick hug I sent him off. The ceremony was starting soon. 

With rose bouquet in hand I made my way down the aisle of the chapel, family and friends standing in the pews, their gazes glossed over with tears as they watched me. The orchestra played, their bows whisking across the strings and beneath the multicolored glow from the stained glass stood him. 

A crooked grin was plastered across his face as he waited for me at the altar. Looking dashing and oh, so handsome in his black tux. His slate blue eyes the hue of the river outside, and they sparkled just the same as well. The man before he was practically beaming, looking all prideful and beside him, stood Steve, a look of joy strung across his porcelain features as well. 

Making my way past the chancel towards the devilishly attractive man whom I was lucky enough to be marrying I watched as Bucky extended his hand out for me to hold. 

With the lace of my gloves meshing with the flesh of his fingers I held onto his hand as he guided me up the small set of stairs to the altar, my wedding dress and veil cascading down the steps. The robe donning Minister held the Holy Bible in his hands as he stood behind the podium, our guests sitting back down. 

Above us the domed nave creased in criss-cross shapes, accessorized by intricate stone carvings and in the back the golden organ sat beneath the narthex. Lit rows of candelabras flickered, and decorating every pew were beautiful flower arrangements. Everything was lovely, but all seemed to pale in comparison to the man before me. 

Holding my hand tight, his smile never seeming to diminish, Bucky just locked eyes with me as the Minister began, as the vows started up. 

"...Do you take Rebecca to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do you part?" 

"I do." Bucky spoke, so confident as he gazed lovingly into my eyes, like nothing else mattered in the world. To him, this was a precious moment, and a promise to himself as well. To be a good husband, him wanted nothing more than that. He didn't need anything else than to have me beside him.

And, as I waited for the Minister to begin again I noticed that only silence ensued...

 In fact, everyone in the chapel had fallen mute. The orchestra was still, the bows no longer traveling across the strings. Their instruments had become soundless, and the guests who sat within the pews had all vanished. 

In their place sat piles of soot. Of ash. The chapel in which they resided in, attendees at my wedding, had become their final resting place. 

And, looking down, I saw that I no longer wore my wedding dress, but in fact was wearing my uniform. My body covered in blood and badly beaten up. And, beside me Steve was in the same wrecked state as well. The church had slowly morphed into the battlefield of Wakanda. 

And, as I stared over at Bucky, I saw once again as flecks of him began to fade away. As he was taken away from me once more, the dream becoming a terror. My happiest day waning back into the horrid reality. Not even a nightmare, as it had actually happened. 

The place we were married in was gone now in my vision, and only the aftermath of a War remained. 

I was on my knees again, with Bucky's ashes all over my hands and lap, the feeling of heartbreak the same as if I had a burning shard of shrapnel in my chest. And, I cried while in the pile of my husband's ashes. 

"Becky... We lost." 

I heard Steve say to me, his hand resting limply upon my shoulder before my dream ended. 

..........

In a cold sweat I woke up, and almost instinctively I reached across the other side of the bed, searching for him. The realization hitting me once again.

 Bucky wasn't there. He wasn't coming back either. Just like how my dream turned out, he was ash. Gone.  

I was cradling the small golden frame in my hands, our black and white wedding photo reflecting in my weary gaze before I set it back onto the nightstand. The walls of my room in the Avengers facility seeming to close in on me and I settled on not getting any shut eye for the remainder of tonight. 

23 days and counting since the snap, since the heroes lost... And, not a day had gone by where I didn't feel the wrenching sting of loss.