I spent most the next morning over the toilet. Given that I couldn't remember a majority of what happened last night, it took me a good two or three hours to think through the brain fog and try to connect the events of last night into one cohesive memory.

I had bits and pieces of memories of snapping at Sarah and her expression-and seeing my mothers before I'd left. I had very faint, blurry memories of a shower and Mateo.

Once I'd returned to my room post brushing my teeth and showering in the middle of the day, I glanced behind me at Mateo's spot on the bed. Images started to flicker in and out once more. His knuckle caressing my cheek. The look of pure love and adoration in his eyes despite my undoubtedly disgusting state.

"Oh shit." I gasped aloud once the memory I'd been trying to force through my aching head finally surfaced.

Love. He'd confessed he was in love with me. Which, I suppose after everything I'd heard, I wasn't surprised to hear, but hearing it from him made it a hell of a lot more real. To make things worse, I couldn't remember if I'd said anything in response to it.

"There's Sleeping Beauty!" Brenden's obnoxious laugh filled the room and I chucked one of Mateo's pillows across the room at him. He dodged it and crossed the room to where I sat on the edge of the bed. "The beast has awoken."

"Shut up." I grumbled, making a "gimme" gesture with my hands the minute my eyes fell on the coffee mug in his own. "Extra milk?"

He rolled his eyes as he joined me on the bed. "Of course."

"You can leave now." I joked, waving a hand dismissively. I sipped then glanced his way and caught him eying me in concern. "What? Oh shit, did I say something to you last night too?"

"No."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"The wedding is in three days, Mads." he said it softly, touching a comforting hand to my shoulder, sure that it would trigger something in me. "And you blew up on Sarah last night. In front of Mom."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "I know. I sort of remember."

"Mom wants to talk to you, but I told her to give you some space today. She understood, but she's been forcing Teo to teach her to surf all morning. It's been quite the sight."

My head whipped in his direction and I winced in pain from the sudden jerky movement. "You're joking."

"I wish." my brother said through a laugh. "Man, it's so weird watching my best friend carry our fifty year old mother out of the water."

I laughed at the thought. "I can imagine."

There was a long, comfortable silence before Brenden asked, "Look, I know we haven't had time to talk one-on-one. I wanted to ask you about Mateo. Everything is. . . consensual, right? I know something he can be a little persistent. And sometimes you can be a little. . . not."

I stared, shocked into silence by the question. After a moment, I responded. "Of course it is, why would you even ask that?"

"Because you hated Mateo most of our lives, Mads."

"Mateo has never touched me in a way that wasn't agreed upon, Bren. He puts my feelings before his own." I took another sip, then made a gesture toward the bathroom. "If that weren't the case, Mateo had every chance to take advantage of me last night and he didn't."

He nodded, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, got it. I love both of you. But I also know both of you and Mads, you were devastated the last time I talked to you. You were so caught up in Ashton still that I was sure that it'd take years for you to get over what happened. Next thing I know, you and Mateo are together and have been for a while."

"It's okay you don't understand or believe it, Bren."

He sighed. "I believe it, Mads. I'm just. . . surprised is all."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Bren!"

He shook his head in amusement. "Go ahead."

"Did you ever think Mateo had feelings for me prior to this relationship?"

Brenden stared at me for a few seconds before he smirked. "Mads, you aren't that oblivious, are you?"

"Apparently I am." I grumbled. "I guess my irritation for the insufferable idiot overpowered any desire to even glance in his direction."

Bren ran a hand through his dark hair. "To answer your question directly, yes. Teo literally confessed his feelings for you the summer before our freshmen year of high school. Wasn't sure if he grew out of it or not, but saw bits and pieces of his crush in high school too when he saw you with Ashton."

I set the empty cup down and buried my face in my hands. "I feel bad."

"Why?"

"Because I treated him like crap while he was trying to look out for me."

My brother snorted. "I promise you, Mads, you being a bitch to him only made him want you more."

"You aren't mad at him?" I asked my brother. "For breaking the bro code?"

Another snicker. "Madison, the bro code is sacred, but my priority will always be your happiness. His happiness is a bonus. If it just so happens that the two of you together makes you happy, then I could care less about it. If he hurts you, however, I'll end him. Don't think for a second I won't."

"Ouch, man." Mateo's voice caught both of us off guard and I jumped and nearly slid off the bed. "Got it. I see where your loyalties lie, bro."

Brenden took his best friend's entrance as his cue to exit and slapped a hand on Mateo's shoulder on the way out, "Best believe my loyalties lie with my baby sister, man."

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

They exchanged another long look before Bren slapped a hand against the door frame and disappeared down the hall. Mateo waited until my brothers door shut to walk into the room and press ours closed behind him.

"Well, good afternoon, Sunshine." he greeted, crossing the room.

I didn't bother to tear my eyes from his dripping torso, watching as every single water droplet dipped and dove straight for his toned lower abdomen. It didn't take him long to realize where my eyes were and he crouched with a taunting smile and a snide of, "My eyes are up here, babe."

"Those are pretty too." I joked, nudging his knee with my leg. "Thanks for last night."

There was a flash of something in his eyes for a second before he nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"I just want to put it out there that I don't remember what I said last night. Just the things I did."

His right brow quirked, "Is that so? So you remember the mind-blowing sex we had then?"

I gasped, grabbing a pillow from behind me as I had ten minutes prior and whacking him with it. "Mateo!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." he caught the pillow and pulled it until he was inches from me. "Maybe."

I touched my palm to his cheek, the roughness of his stubble against it, my body involuntarily leaning into his. Mateo brought one of his hands to the side of my neck and the other to my chin, his thumb brushing my bottom lip.

A clearing of a throat in the hall stirred me from my thoughts-and the moment we'd almost had. Mateo grew rigid, anger igniting in his eyes without even checking to see who'd interrupted.

"Can we help you?"

"I was wondering if I could talk to Madison."

I slowly lifted my head to meet Ashton's gaze. I was both startled and confused when I saw there was a hostility in his own eyes, in his stance in the doorway. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was jealous.

"Mads?" Mateo whispered between my legs, looking up at me with a prompting look.

I looked from him to Ashton in the doorframe. "What do you need?"

"It's important."

"Nothing that you could say could possibly warrant me to jump when you say to." I growled. "Not anymore."

Ashton entered the room fully. "I am not asking for your first born child, Madison. You can come to this as soon as we're done."

I could feel the heat radiating off Mateo. I touched my hand to his shoulder with a shake of my head. Ashton wasn't worth it. He knew that, and I was finally starting to accept it.

"I'll be right back."

He nodded, though I could tell he wanted to prevent me from going, he didn't. It made me appreciate him even more. Allowing me to make my own choices was something I lacked in my relationship with Ashton.

"What do you want, Ashton?" I snapped, crossing my arms once we were in the room he shared with my sister at the end of the hall. The same room we'd spent four summers making memories in.

"Sarah's ignored me all night and all morning. What the hell did you say to her last night?"

I cocked my head to the left. "Only the truth, Ash."

"What exactly is the truth for you, Madison?"

"That this wedding should be ours." I spat, pressing my index finger against my chest. "That we should be the ones having a baby. I told her I hated her for doing what she did. That extends out to you too."

Whatever he'd thought I'd say, my answer hadn't been it. He fell back a step, his entire body slouching forward, mouth agape.

"I don't want to hear how sorry you are, Ashton." I went on. "I don't want to hear all your bullshit excuses."

"There isn't an excuse for what I did, Madison." he said quietly. "I didn't want shit to happen like this. Sarah and I were never supposed to last."

I laughed without emotion. "Oh, so you're upset that I found out my sister was your side piece before we got married?"

"The only reason I stayed with Sarah this long is because she was pregnant prior to this, Mads. Multiple times. She lost the baby every time."

He didn't deserve the pity or sympathy that so desperately wanted to leave me.

"The night of our wedding she came to me to explain that she was pregnant, Mads. I didn't want to sleep with her." he tried to reach for me but I backed away from his touch. "She started undressing me before I could stop her. I pinned her down to prevent her from going further when you walked in. We weren't having sex, Madison. No, that doesn't excuse every time prior for four years, but we weren't that night. I told her months prior I couldn't anymore. That I didn't want to hurt you."

I swallowed the knot in my throat but couldn't find it in me to respond.

"I loved you Madison, I still do. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, but you ran before I could explain anything. Before you knew anything."

I wrapped my arms around myself. "I didn't need any explanation. I didn't need to know, Ashton. Nothing you can say justify your actions. I hate you, and maybe one day it won't be such a seething, intense hatred, but right now I can't even stand to look at you. I gave you my heart and soul, Ashton, and you broke me. It's been two years and I'm still trying to figure out how to put myself back together. But the thing is, once you break something, even when repaired, it's never quite the same as it had been."

Ashton bowed his head.

"I need to make some abundantly clear just in case you need to hear it. You will be marrying my sister in three days. I don't want you to have the two of us confused, because I would never, ever take a taken man from someone, let alone my sister. Don't think for one second I'll have a momentarily lapse of reason and allow you to crawl back to me."

I straightened, dropping my hands to my sides again.

"I am in a great relationship right now, Ashton. With the person I should have been with years ago, but you clouded my eyes and judgement, and for the longest time all I saw was you. I love Mateo. He has been there my entire life and I know that he'll be there when I take my last breath." I took a step forward and held his gaze as I said the next words. "He is my person. And, as much as it may hurt you to hear it, you'll never be half the man he is."

Ashton, the shocked and hurt shell of a boy I once loved, staggered back a few steps before moving aside so I could leave the room. Mateo was leaning against the wall in the hall, arms across his chest, a knowing smile on his face.

"Don't let that get to your head." I mumbled, patting my hand against his chest on my way passed.

He pushed off the wall with a wink. "Too late."