*Autumn's POV*

I have been dreading a talk with Shawn but he keeps ignoring me and I'm fucking tired of it. he won't even say hi or bye anymore.

That girl on the bus the other day, with the French tips, blonde hair, caked with makeup, that girl. Yeah well she won't stop messing with Shawn, at least I think so.

She's a bitch and I can't deal with her.

But i can.

I'm at a playground, watching my 5 year old sister play on the monkey bars. I'm sitting on the swing set when i see a girl with blonde hair and light brown eyes sit on the swing next to me.

We sit in silence for a little bit, just listening to the wind whistling by and my sister laughing at something she said to herself.

"I'm Ali," the girl finally says, reaching out her hand.

i take it and look at her, "Autumn." She's got round cheeks and a plump bottom lip. Almond eyes and a white toothed smile. No make-up. Very pretty if you ask me.

"I know," she responds. "I've seen you around school, you're kind of quiet. But not the weird kind."

"Thanks, i guess," i stifle an awkward chuckle.

Then, silence.

"I didn't know you went to my school. And i'm observant so that's nearly impossible. How long you been going there?"

She hesitates. "Almost my whole life."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yeah."

Alex, my little sister, calls my name. "Yes, sweetheart?"

She looks at me from across the playground. "i wanna go home."

"Alright, A. Let's go then." I get up and nod at Ali. "It was nice to meet you. See you around?"

She just nods, gets up, and walks away.

i keep looking at her, watching her. She walks to a black jeep and gets in on the passenger side. Then they drive by me and Alex and i swear, i swear i see somebody that looks almost exactly like Shawn driving, looking at me.

i shake it off. The windows are tinted, could be anybody else.

I get home and see my brother, Austin, sitting on the couch. It's late so i put Alex to bed. I kiss her on the cheek and tell her how much i love her. "Goodnight, A. Sweet dreams."

I sit next to Austin, who has his nose stuck to his phone. The remote is sitting in between us so i grab it and start flicking through the channels.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Austin glares at me.

"i'm looking for something to watch." i respond with a sigh.

"Well i was watching that so turn it back before i throw my phone at you."

"Whatever." i roll my eyes and get up. I'm right at the door to my room when he says something i will never forget.

"Shawn has a girlfriend."

"what did you just say?"

"Look at his instagram and you'll find out." sarcasm is probably his best feature and that's being generous.

"Don't be a smart ass." Despite the anger boiling up inside of me, i still open instagram. i don't even have to click the search bar, it's right there in front of me. Shawn. In a black jeep. Kissing a girls cheek. Kissing Ali's cheek. The girl from the park.

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The first thing that comes to mind: Is it possible this is her? And then: Is it possible that this is the girl from the bus? French Tips? No, definitely not. They're total opposites, French Tips and Ali. Nothing alike. But if it's not her, then who else? I mean, it would explain why i never recognized Ali. But it wouldn't explain why she talked to me and then got into the car with Shawn.

Of all the what if's in the world, this is the one that showed up and it makes me furious.

It's two in the morning and this is what i'm thinking about? It's really not worth it but does my brain give a crap? Not at all.

I decide to put some ear buds in and crank up some Ed. i fall asleep to Thinking Out Loud, ironic, I know.

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My alarm clock is blaring and the sun is kind of shining when i finally sit up, yawn, and smash the alarm clock. Alex is already at school because the neighbors take her. Austin is who cares where. i get ready and i head out the door. I get stopped. "What are you doing, Autumn?" Speak of the devil.

"I'm going to school, what else would i be doing?" i roll my eyes.

He puts one of his hands next to my head and leans in as he pulls out something about the length of a cigarette but it's green. i turn my head and close my mouth. "There's a letter for you." He takes a hit and blows it in my face. I don't even flinch. "Kitchen table." He walks away.

I go to the kitchen and find an envelope with only my name scrawled in slanted cursive. There's only one person i know with that handwriting. I walk out the door and don't look back.

I get to school a few minutes later, thankfully. But not for everybody. Matt and Alicia are arguing. I've seen them argue before, but not around a bunch of people and not this badly. Alicia starts yelling at him and calling him names. And he's just taking it.

I start walking over there to see what's going on when we lock eyes. Matt shakes his head and mouths something. But it's too late, Alicia turns her head around to see me and stomps my way. I just stand there, not knowing what to do.

"You!" She points at me. "And you!" She motions for Matt to follow her. She just keeps coming at me. Like, full speed.

"What about me, Alicia?" i scowl. "The suspense is truly killing me. Just spit it out."

"You bitch! You kissed Matt and just thought i wouldn't find out?" She's coming closer. There's a crowd now.

"Alicia!" Yells Matt.

"No!" she responds.

"Wait, Alicia, what're you talking about?" i ask.

"What do you mean 'what am i talking about'? You know damn well."

"Alicia!"

"No, i don't. So why don't you stop playing games and tell me what the hell you're talking about."

"Alicia, get back here! oh my god!" Matt grabs at his hair as he appears right behind her.

Alicia is on her phone, which makes no sense considering she was just yelling at me and now she's texting people, what the heck. Matt knocks her phone out of her hand. And you wouldn't believe it.

Alicia, the girl who has been known to have cat fights. Alicia, the girl with the long nails. Alicia, the girl who can't even look at a cats ass without screeching. Alicia, this preppy, white female, rears back and slaps Matt across the face. He just stands there, unfazed, with a red mark appearing on his cheek.

Oh, the nerve of this rat. Oh, the audacity. She's in the process of turning around when i bring back my elbow. "Autumn, no!" But it's too late. Alicia is already on the ground, knocked out. Her phone is laying open. To a picture. A picture that i recognize all too well. A picture from after the break up. And the beginning of a something else. Of another relationship. A boat, a sunset, and a couple of kids in love, not even a little bit worried about tomorrow.

*****

I have my bag ready when the door bell rings. Mom comes up to my room. "I think he's here, honey." She hesitates. "Are you sure this isn't a date?"

I sigh, "Yes mom, i'm sure. Alicia and Matt are gonna be there, why would we have a first date with the whole gang there?"

"Probably because Matt and Alicia are together, and then you and Shawn would be by yourselves. Plus, there's such things as a double date." My mom gives me a reassuring smile.

I mimick her smile, "Yes, because you totally know so much about me, don't you? Like how i don't like attention? Or how i like to be left alone most of the time? Or even how i don't even have feelings for Shawn like that?" i scoff.

"Oh, honey, you know i'm always at work. You shouldn't use that-"

"No, mom! Don't do that! Don't use work against me. You chose that yourself, to be working every day and every night, only coming home with other guys. Drunk off your ass. All of this while you're still with dad. I can't believe that you really think you can come in here with that bullshit and expect me to actually listen to you."

"Autumn, honey-"

"No, honey. Thank you for helping me realize that-"

"Woah woah, girls." My dad walks in. "Calm down, my sweethearts. Autumn, Matt's downstairs, waiting for you. Why don't you take your suitcase down there and we'll meet you?"

i look at my mother, my role model, my best friend, and i don't see her anymore. She looks away as i sigh, "Okay, daddy."

"Thank you, baby." He kisses my cheek.

Downstairs, i see Matt. He looks so perfect in his shorts and muscle shirt, sunglasses, and that beautiful skin of his. "Zoning out again, i see." He interrupts my thoughts with that voice of his.

"It seems you're right." i giggle. "My parents told me to wait down here for them."

Matt nods. "i heard you and your mother arguing, is everything alright?"

"Just fine." i say, rather harshly. To soften the blow, i ask, "so, where's Alicia?"

"Oh, she just told me that she couldn't make it." He looks down.

"Oh?" he nods. "I'm sorry, Matt. Did she say why?"

"Her mom and dad are splitting up so she said she just needs a little time to herself."

"Well at least it's a good reason."

"i guess," he shrugs.

i hug him as my parents come down stairs. My dad gives me a reassuring smile as i stand up. "i love you, dad."

"i love you too, sweety. i hope you have fun."

"Me, too." i hug him.

"Don't have too much fun," my mom says.

"Yeah, mother. I won't." i roll my eyes.

"Autumn-"

"I'll see you guys tomorrow, goodnight." And then to Matt, "Let's go?"

He smiles, "Yeah, lets go."

We're at the dock when i see Shawn in a white button up and shorts on, walking our way.

"There he is," says Matt. He gets into the boat and starts preparing for sea.

I jump into Shawn's arms and he spins me around. i giggle as he puts me down. i lose footing and he catches me. We're so close i could kiss him. Not that i would.

"Guys! We should probably get going if we want a full day of this." Matt puts his arms out to his side.

Shawn lets go of me with a teethy grin. We both jog over to the boat and get on. "Champagne, anybody?" Shawn asks pulling a bottle out of his bag.

Me and Matt gasp. "And here i thought you were a goodie goodie." Matt says. We all laugh. i could stay here forever if it was possible. Too bad it's not.

The rest of the evening goes by wonderfully. Shawn is just getting everything for the sleeping arrangements with the little bit of light we have left. It's just me and Matt up here. We're sitting at the front of the boat, champagne in hand, laughing at nothing but everything. Then Matt looks at me. His smile disappears.

"You're so beautiful, Autumn." He grabs my hand. "I miss you." With tears in his eyes, he grabs my face. I think about it. It's a perfect moment. We're in paradise. On the water, with the sun setting behind us. We lock lips and i realize i miss him too.

Then we hear the camera click. "Perfect!"

We pull apart. "Oh, Shawn." We both say.

Then we all crack up laughing. It was an amazing day.

*****

"Matt," he's looking at Alicia. I pick up her phone. "Matt." i say again. He's not paying attention. And now Shawn's at my side. "Matt!" I say, louder. He finally looks at me.

"What, Autumn? What could you possibly need?" I show him the picture and he just sighs and shakes his head.

"How did she get it?" I ask him. He shakes his head again. "How. Did. She. Get. It." i say through gritted teeth.

Matt closes his teeth together. "Think about it, Autumn. Think. About. It." I can see Shawn disappearing from my vision. "Who is the only person who has that picture?" And then i realize what he means. Shawn.

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a/n : my first update in a couple of years. how is it? my writing style has changed a lot but i don't know if it's better or not. y'all should totally give me feedback though, to those of you who still read these books. i hope each and every one of you have an amazing day:))💞