Still not right
Sliding to the edge of the bed,Stevie held her back as she hoisted herself up. Now in her seventh month things were harder to do, her height and size of the baby being the main problem.
Lindsey came into the room. "Steves what are you doing?"
"I REALLY have to pee, dammit," she waddled toward the bathroom
"Alright alright I'll help you." He took her hand and tried to help her get their faster.
"Stop! I can't move that fast! You're going to make me pee!" She bitched
Stevie held the bottom of her stomach and her lower back, closing the bathroom door behind her, "You're going to help me off the toilet," she yelled through the door
He sighed heavily, he knew she had good reason but she was very low on patience lately
"Lindsey," yelled for him minutes later
He went back in to help her.
She held her arms out for him to help her up
He gently helped her to her feet.
Stevie washed her hands and walked back to bed, laying down again. "Don't judge me."
He laughed a little. "I'm not."
"Baby, can you bring something to eat?"
He nodded. "What do you want?"
"Waffles."
He laughed. "What?"
"It's late afternoon."
"So?"
"Coming right up," Lindsey didn't say anything else and walked downstairs to make her waffle
She sighed as she tried to calm herself. She'd seemed to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, she didn't know why she just did.
Will knocked on the open door, aware of his mother's mood swings
"Yes?"
"Hi."
"Hey Will."
"Will you play with us?" He asked awkwardly
"Sure."
He walked over to her bed and grabbed her hands to pull her up
"Oh baby can't we play in here?"
He shrugged, "I'll ask Lee." He let go of her and walked out
He came back with Lee marching in front of him. "Mommy we want to play hide and seek!"
"Mommy can't hide very well, I'm not too sure that I'll be good at seeking either," she told them
Lee huffed, "But mama! We just want to spend time with you!"
"Baby I'm sorry, this baby has taken a lot out of me," Stevie apologized
Lee calmed down then nodded. "I know, I know...I'm sorry mommy...we can play candy land?"
"I'd like that," she nodded
Will ran and got the game, the three of them playing it nicely
"I win!" Lee shouted, tossing her hands in the air
Stevie just laughed as Will pouted.
"She always wins!"
"Well Will you always beat me." She tried to cheer him up
Lindsey came in with a tray of waffles a juice, "Mommy has to eat now, everyone out."
"Awwww man!" Both the kids whined but immediately ran out once Lindsey bribed them with ice cream later on.
"I was thinking about taking them to the park later, I'll call Karen to keep and eye on you," he said as he say the tray onto her lap
She nodded, "Alright-but don't stay out too long, I'll miss you."
"Just a few hours," Lindsey kissed her forehead
She took his hand in hers and nodded "I know, but still."
He chuckled, "Stuck in bed rest with only me to care for you forever I would've thought you'd be sick of me by now."
"Not yet." He laughed
"I'm not stuck in bed by the way, it just takes too much energy that I don't have to get up," Stevie added
He shook his head, "I know sweetheart I know."
She stayed silent and tucked into her waffles
"Good?"
"Karen made these didn't she." Stevie stated knowingly
"Well.....she made the batter, BUT I did cook them.."
"I'm proud of you."
He smiled as he sat beside her. "That's all that matters."
"I feels as big as a house, Lindsey," she huffed and rubbed her enormous belly
"Well technically that's not possible cause you still fit in our house."
"Smartass," Stevie smacked his arm
He laughed as he pulled her into a hug. "And you're stuck with me."
"Daddy lets go!" Lee yelled from down the hallway
"Apparently not." Lindsey chuckled and kissed her briefly. "I'll be back soon."
"Have fun!" Stevie called after them
"Bye mommy!" Lindsey waved her goodbye and they left.
Lindsey noticed how anxious the kids were to get out and play
He knew they didn't like how much they had to stay home.
Especially now that their mother wouldn't get up and play with them; this pregnancy hadn't been easy.
He hoped he could make it up to them by doing things like this just going out and bonding with them, even though Stevie was missing.
Will and Lee didn't wait for their father to help them, they only bolted out of the car as soon as he parked
He chuckled a little then ran after them.
"Go down the slide with me Daddy!" Lee tugged on his hand
"I don't know if I'll fit!"
"Please?"
"Alright I'll try."
"I could do it," a familiar voice said from behind him
He turned around abruptly
Kristen was walking toward them with a toddler on her hip
"Kristen..?"
"Hi Linds," she grinned
"Um... Hi.... what are you doing here?"
"I was bringing this little guy to the park," she bounced the baby on her hip
"Oh, who is this little guy?"
"This is Lindsey...my son," she answered
He looked dazed. "Lindsey?...but wait is he yours or..."
"I adopted him a few weeks ago."
He nodded slowly, still trying to process everything. "And...you named him after me?"
"Yea..." Kristen responded
Lindsey just continued to stand there and nod stupidly. Finally he snapped himself out of it. "Well, this is great. I'm really happy for you Kris."
"Thank you, I finally feel happy," she kissed her little one's head
He smiled at her then felt Lee tugging on his hand.
"Daddy?"
"Oh! Sorry baby I'm coming."
Will was playing on the money bars, trying to hang upside down
"Will! Be careful!"
"I can do it!"
"Will!"
He sulked and got down
Lindsey shaking his head then turning his attention back to Kristen
"What's happening on your end of town?" Kristen asked, shifting her son to the other hip
He shrugged, "Not much..just hanging out with these two, Stevie's on pretty strict bedrest so... "
"Bed rest? Is she alright?" Touching his arm
He nodded, "Yeah yeah just a precaution."
"I'm glad," Kristen said
He smiled at her. "Yeah"
"Down," her son reached toward the ground, setting him on the ground and holding his hand. Lee ran up to Lindsey and jumped on him, clinging to him, "Daddy! Slide!"
"Alright alright...I'm coming"
"It was nice to see you Lindsey," Kristen said softly
"Yeah...I'm glad you've been doing good."
"As well as I can," she shrugged, things began to get awkward, "Bye."
"Bye"
Kristen picked up the little boy and began to walk away
Lindsey looked over at the kids.
Will was climbing again on the money bars and Lee was going down the slide by herself
Lindsey sighed and went to go play with Lee, once again yelling at Will.
"Well you won't help me!" He sassed
Lindsey just shook his head.
"We can't do anything!"
"Yes you can!"
"No, you're always busy with Mommy and she doesn't want to play with us because of that stupid baby! When we finally get out of the house you don't pay attention to us!" Will yelled
"Will...come on buddy I'm trying here I really am..how about we go get our ice cream now?" He tried to make the day better
"You'll just run into someone else," he stated, "or Mommy will call."
"No Will I promise that won't happen let's just go have some fun okay buddy!"
"Okay Daddy, let's go!" Lee answered for him
He smiled and took both their hands and lead them to the car
He could tell that Will wasn't truly happy anymore, becoming a shell of the happy boy he used to be
On the way to get ice cream Karen called to check in per Stevie's request, not used to being away from all three of them.
"Yeah everything is fine... tell her we'll be back in about an hour or so...alright bye."
Lee rushed ahead of her father and brother to choose her flavor of ice cream.
Will just lagging behind
"Hey, bud," Lindsey put his hand on Will's shoulder
"Hey"
"Talk to me, you seem upset."
"I just wish things could go back to normal."
"They will when the baby is here," He told him
He nodded. "I hope so"
"Yea, babies are fun when they get a little older," Lindsey grinned
"Really?"
"Yea, I know you were too young to remember when Leelee was a baby, but you loved her."
"It's just that- I feel like I am being made to be happy about this....I don't have a choice," Will explained
Lindsey sighed, "I'm sorry you feel that way buddy...you do have a choice it's just that-where is being mad going to get you?"
"No where. But I just can't eve happy about it."
"Maybe you'll change your mind when they get here."
"Maybe," Will shrugged
He ruffled Will's hair then told him to pick out his ice cream flavor.
"Chocolate," he said quietly
Lee had already rushed and ordered hers
Lindsey laughing at her then ordering for Will
Will took his ice cream and walked away quietly
Lindsey following him to go sit
Lee pranced around the two of them
"Lee come sit."
"Sugar!" She yelled
He just laughed at her.
Will groaned, clearly not feeling his sister's energy
"Cheer up Will!" She yelled at him
"Go away."
"Will!" He just shook his head.
"I don't feel like it," Will told his dad
Lee only nodded. Then Lindsey told them it was time to finish up their ice-cream
"Can I sleep in the treehouse tonight?" He asked
"No Will, it's going to be chilly tonight."
"Can I build a fort in the living room?"
"I think that would be alright."
He nodded, standing up and taking Lindsey's hand.
Lindsey took both him and Lee out to the car.
Kristen was pacing back an forth on the side walk, she looked distraught.
Lindsey had just buckled the kids in when he saw her. He told them to hang on and went to go see what was wrong.
"N-nothing," she wiped away her tears
"Kris what's wrong?"
"I spent all of my money on getting my son, I'm losing everything. They just came to repo my car. I'm going to lose Lindsey next."
He looked at her worriedly.
"I'm sorry," she looked embarrassed, "I'll be fine."
"No, no...look...Kristen, where is Lindsey?"
"No, look...um...I can help you. Here let me take you guys home and we'll figure everything else out later okay?"
"No Lindsey, thank you, but I'm not sure that your pregnant wife would like it very much if you helped your ex girlfriend out."
"So what? Kristen you need help-at least let me take you two home? You have to take care of him too."
"Thank you."
He shook his head. "Just come on." He lead them over to his car and helped them in.
Kristen sat in the front seat with Lindsey occupying Will's car seat since he was the biggest.
Lindsey drove them to their house.
"Thank you, Lindsey," She said tearfully
"You don't have to thank me, just...let me help you okay?" She nodded.
"I'll be in touch," he rubbed her arm. "Do you need any help getting Lindsey out of the car seat?"
She shook her head. "I got it." She got out and got Lindsey and headed into the house.
"Daddy I'm tired," Lee complained, ready to go home after the sugar wire off.
"I know I know baby-we're going home now."
She nodded, rubbing her eyes
Soon they pulled up into their driveway.
Lee and Will went to their rooms once they got inside
Lindsey going up to see Stevie
She was in the bathtub....at least she made it out of the bed....
"Hey-we're back."
"Have fun?" She smiled rubbing bubbles into her protruding stomach
He sighed. "Lee did, Will....he's still in his little funk but he'll be alright. We went to the park, got ice cream...we ran into Kristen too."
Stevie stopped smiling, "She probably tried to have sex with you right then, didn't she?"
"Stevie stop. Listen to me when I tell you this okay? Please? No, we were very cordial to each other-that's it. Promise. She's moved on, she even adopted a little boy of her own..but I was wondering if we could help her out a little with some finances? She spent a lot for..her son and she even got her car repossessed today and me and the kids had to drive them home. Can we just help her some?"
"Absolutely not!" She sat straight up, "I am your wife! You remember that!"
Lindsey looked at her like she was crazy. "Stevie I know that! I just don't understand why we can't help her? She helped us find Will!"
"After what she did to this family! You think we should help your old mistress?!"
Stevie was livid, standing on her own rather quickly and wrapping a towel around herself, stomach almost poking out of it, "Damn you Lindsey for even thinking that."
He shook his head and stood up and placed his hands on her arms. "Okay okay Stevie calm down baby please you don't need to be getting this worked up. I'm sorry I even brought it up okay just relax."
"You want me to relax?!" She shrugged off his hands, "We are NOT helping that woman."
"Fine!"
"And don't you dare do anything behind my back!"
He sighed and looked down at the floor quietly. "Lindsey."
"I told her that I would help her...she's going to lose her son and we both know what it's like to lose a child."
Stevie was silent.
"Except, this is worse, she will know that he is alive and might not be in a better place than he would be with her. I saw them today. He had nice things, she provides for him. God knows how she is getting the money to give him those thing and then when child services takes him it will all be for nothing!" Lindsey ranted
Stevie looked up at him, not allowing her tears to fall, "You love her."
He looked at her like she had just grown two heads. "What??"
"You love her."
"Why would you think that?"
"Everything you just said, the tone and the thoughtfulness in your voice-the way you care so much-Lindsey the damn look in your eye tells me you love her." As she spoke she felt like she was walking on thin ice. Like every letter that left her mouth might be the step to completely falling through.
"I care about her," Lindsey shrugged
"How much?"
"I don't want to see her alone and homeless, I don't want to see anyone in that position."
She shook her head. "We pass people who are alone and homeless just on our way to the studio Lindsey-you never do anything then."
"Because I didn't knit them personally! I had no connection! I can't help them all but I can help her!"
She closed her eyes. A few tears finally falling. "Lindsey..."
"Stevie, I have to."
She took a few steps forward to hug him tight. "Why can't she just be gone."
"We were put in her life for a reason."
"Lindsey you know I love to believe in fate but people also walk out of our lives for a reason."
"Believe what you like."
She stepped away from him and walked off into the bedroom.
Karen stepped in the room, having heard everything when she was bringing Stevie tea, "I'll help you dress, Lindsey go do something elsewhere."
"Bull crap, I need to talk to my wife."
"I need to help her get dressed, you can wait."
"Why can't I help her?"
"She is obviously upset with you," Karen told him
He shook his head and stormed out.
Karen took Stevie into her arms
"He's only right about one thing, you need to relax okay. Remember you're not supposed to be under any stress." Stevie nodded. "But how could he have said that??"
"I don't know. He never has been great when it comes to shit like that," walking her over to the bed to sit, "I'm going to get you a nightgown, you need to sleep...drink your tea first."
She nodded.
Karen went to fetch her clothes
Stevie got dressed and then sat on the bed sipping her tea.
"Do you need anything else?" Karen checked
"No, thank you though"
"Do not leave this bed."
She nodded. "Yes mom." Karen just rolled her eyes
"I'll bring dinner up later," Karen closed the door behind her.
"Thanks."
Lindsey was laying on the couch in his studio,staring up at the ceiling
Karen came in.
"I think you should spend some time with your son. If you haven't noticed, he's having a hard time."
Karen crossed her arms
He sighed heavily, "No shit"
"Well then why the hell don't you do something about it?"
"I've tried! Nothing is working!"
"Go help him with his fort, maybe he just wants to spend time with one of you," Karen suggested
He looked over at her irritated then decided she was right.
Karen simply left and went to make dinner
He got up and went to find Will
He was struggling to get a sheet to stay on top of the furniture to use as the roof of the fort, giving up he plopped down on the floor and cried silently
"Hey buddy, need help?"
Will shrugged
"Here let's fix this roof." Lindsey hung the sheet in its place.
"Thanks," he said quietly
Lindsey smiled and sat down with him
"I'm going to go get the pillows and blankets," Will ran to his room
Lindsey smiled as he finally saw some real light in his boy's eyes.
Stevie came waddling downstairs after she woke up, not feeling all that tired.
"Hey."
She mumbled something and nodded her head in acknowledgement
"Hey Stevie, um...wanna help me and Will with the fort?"
"I'm still pretty tired," she continued toward the kitchen.
"That's fine, I don't want to spend time with you either," Will said from behind her as he came downstairs with the blankets and pillows.
She turned on her heels to look back at him, jaw dropped and tears already forming.
He stomped past her and sat the blankets down, spreading them out to his liking and crawling into the fort as if nothing had been said.
Stevie looked over at Lindsey a shocked expression clear across her face.
"Will, come out right now," Lindsey demanded
"Why?"
"Now," Lindsey demanded
Will slowly peeked his head out from the fort.
"All the way."
He sighed then did as he was told, coming out to sit beside his father.
"Apologize to your mother. This bitterness shit better stop, do you hear me?"
Will looked up at him warily then stood up. He walked over to Stevie and kept his eyes on the floor as he apologized. "Sorry mommy..."
"Will I love you so much," Stevie tried not to cry as her voice shook
He sighed, "I know...I don't mean to be rude I just...I don't know...my heart feels funny you know?"
"No baby, that's why you have to talk to us when you down feel good. I want you to be happy."
"I just don't know how"
"I don't want you to feel like this."
"I can't help it"
"Will, please tell me what is making you feel bad," bending over to the best of her ability
"I don't know... can I go back in my fort?"
"Not until we talk," Stevie denied
He looked down at his shoes. "I just want things back to normal."
"Oh baby, they will," Stevie rubbed his shoulder
He just shook his head and looked at her questioningly, "When?"
"When the baby gets here and everything settled down," Stevie said
"Are you sure the baby won't cause more problems?"
Stevie sniffled a sob, "There's nothing I can do about that."
He sighed and hugged her tightly.
"I love you, William," Stevie kissed his head
"I love you too"
"Enjoy your fort," she chuckled and walked into the kitchen
Will then hurried back into his fort
Lindsey walked into the kitchen to check on Stevie
She was leaned over the counter top crying quietly into her hands.
"Baby," he walked up to her and rubbed her back
She turned to face him and hugged him tight. "I've completely ruined our family." she sobbed quietly into his chest
"What? No baby, you haven't," Lindsey kissed her head
"Yes I have, Lindsey our son is depressed, our daughter is confused, our marriage is falling apart and it's all my fault!"
"It is not your fault," He pulled her to him
"Then who's fault is it??"
"Joe."
She looked up at him confused.
"He took advantage of you."
"No he didn't Lindsey... I just got tired of being alone and I screwed the first guy to even look at me...I'm so stupid." She was speaking in a hushed whisper, her voice being so hoarse from crying.
"Stop talking like that, he knew what state you were in," Lindsey tried to reason with her
"Lindsey. This is my fault. It's not like he was the one who was married."
"It's not you're fault that Will is acting this way."
"But-"
"It's not." She just buried her face into his embrace. She wanted to believe him, she really did but she just couldn't see it being anyone else's fault. She'd messed up.
"All we can do it be there for them, hell let him see a therapist."
She only nodded.
"It'll be okay."
She looked up at him and kissed his cheek.
"I'll help you back to bed," Lindsey offered
She took his hand in her own and let him help her.
"Will I'll be right back."
"Okay daddy."
Lindsey smiled and helped his bride to the stairs.
Once he got her up into bed he kissed her head then went back down to Will.
"So what do you want to do?" Lindsey asked him
"Lets build a fort taller than you!"
"Okay!"
They quickly began taking all the sheets and blankets they could find and tried to form some kind of mini house with them.
Let's try to stack the chairs
"Lets try!"
Lindsey stacked the chairs himself
Will trying to toss loads and loads of blankets on top of them.
Lindsey struggled to help him as the fort was almost as tall as he was
Finally they'd accomplished the fort Will had wanted. "What are we gonna do with it now buddy?" The fort covered nearly the whole room and was pretty extravagantly tall and actually looked very nice. Will turned to him and told him to wait right there and not to move or touch anything. He ran up the stairs and in about two minutes later came back with Stevie right behind him. "What is it Will-" she stopped short at the sight of the huge structure and then looked down at Will in amazement. "Will, did you do all this?" He smiled, "Yeah but daddy helped me a lot though. It's a dance floor for you and daddy."
"For me and Daddy?" She asked puzzled as to why he would build them a dance floor.
"Yeah, remember in the story, you and daddy got married, you two danced for a long long time?" She looked at him confused. "That's not in your story Will?" He shook his head, "No but you've told it before. This is your dance time mommy."
Stevie teared up and looked at Lindsey, smiling widely. "Baby-i thank you."
He hugged them both then ran and turned on the radio for them.
Lindsey walked up to Stevie and gingerly took her waist with his arm and held her hand in his, giving it a kiss, "I swear I didn't plan this."
She laughed. "I know, we just have the best son in the entire world."
"Truly," he smiled, kissing her forehead and pulling her as close as they could
She wrapped her arms around his neck.
He moved his to her waist, "I'm almost tempted to just hold your belly," he chuckled, "it's easier."
She rolled her eyes. "Just dance with me."
Lindsey smiled and kissed her, "My pleasure," he began to sway
She just rested her head in his neck.
Will stood smiling as he watched them from the hallway.
"You are my world," he whispered, kissing her ear
She smiled up at him. "You're my heart Lindsey."
Lindsey held her tighter, feeling the baby kick against his stomach, "I didn't mean to squish you, little one. Daddy's sorry."
Stevie bit her lip and just let his words sink in. She was sure he hadn't heard himself.
Lindsey loosened his hold some and massaged Stevie's head that was resting against his shoulder
She kissed his shoulder.
"Steph, remember when you said that we could have a baby after this one?"
She looked up at him cautiously. "Yeah?"
"I don't want you to do that for me. I was selfish and I'm sorry," Lindsey told her
She shook her head, "Lindsey I'll admit, I'm not exactly the perfect age but if you want more children I'll give that to you if I can"
"Babe, I want is us both to agree on kids, not just you wanting to keep me happy."
"But I want you to be happy Linds."
"Baby, I am most certainly not going to force you to have my baby, I am happy," Lindsey stopped moving and cupped her cheek
She looked up at him tearfully, "Really? You don't have to lie."
"Of course I would love to have our own little baby, but it doesn't mean that I won't be happy or not love you anymore if we don't."
She leaned into him and kissed him gently. "Whatever happens right?"
"Right."
Lindsey resumed dancing with her, rubbing his face against her hair
She smiled to herself brightly.
Will quietly came in and wrapped his arms around their waists
They both looked down at him and Lindsey stopped to pick him up and bring him to their height, they both hugged him tightly.
"Sweet boy," Stevie kissed all over his face.
He smiled and kissed her cheek
Lindsey almost burst with happiness watching them interact
"Are you happy mama?"
"Extremely."
He smiled, "Good."
"Let's sleep in here tonight, Mommy just needs a little more cushion," she joked, "go get Lee."
Will ran out to go get Lee.
Stevie was looking around for more pillows and cushions to make a pallet with.
Lindsey ran upstairs and grabbed the pillows and blankets off of their bed
"Thank you," Stevie smiled, "I am so going to regret this in the morning."
Lindsey chuckled, "We both will."
Will came running in with Lee behind him
"Are we really sleeping in the fort??"
"Yes baby, we are," Stevie smiled
"Yay!!!" She jumped up and down
"Go pick a spot to sleep."
Lee ran and claimed her spot
Stevie laid extra blankets down for she and Lindsey to sleep on
He helped her lay down and soon the kids laid down around them
Stevie rested her belly against Lindsey, hoping to relieve some of the stress on her back
He rubbed her back soothingly. "Are you comfortable?"
She nodded her head, "Mmhm."
"Good."
Lindsey could feel the baby moving against his stomach
He rubbed the side of her belly softly
Stevie closed her eyes and smiled in content
He kissed her head
Lindsey heard her snoring soon after, getting louder and louder by the second
He only laughed to himself
"Daddy," Lee complained
"Yeah?"
"Make her be quiet."
Lindsey tilted her a little to the side and luckily her snoring quieted quickly.
"She sleeps all the time, why is she that tired?" Will peaked at his mother over Lindsey's shoulder
"Well guys, mommy is sleeping for two now-the baby gets tired too."
"The baby sleeps? What else does it do?" Lee sat up and stared at her mother's huge stomach
"Well....it eats and kicks and listens..."
Lee got on her knees and examined Stevie's belly, "How do they do that?"
Lindsey laughed quietly. "I don't know sweetheart"
"They can hear us?" Will sat up as he became intrigued as well. "Well yeah, of course they can." Lindsey answered. "How do they eat?" Lee added, both of them were fascinated by their sibling. "They eat whatever mommy eats cause they live in her tummy."
"They're going to be big then," Lee stated seriously. Lindsey chuckled, "I wouldn't say that to mommy Lee" Lee giggled and nodded. "She'd get mad, very mad," Will looked over at his mother. "Yeahhh that's the baby, the baby isn't an around yet so it goes through mood swings and takes mommy with them." Lindsey explained. "This is going to be one angry baby," Will winced. "At least they'll sleep all the time like Mommy does," Lee shrugged. Lindsey laughed, "Not really."
"Are they asleep right now?" Leelee looked up at her father
"No, I can feel them moving."
Both kid's hands flew to Stevie's stomach
They giggled as they felt the baby's little kicks
"Can Mommy feel it?"
"Yeah, that's why mommy gets sick a lot. It's like...having a butterfly in your tummy"
"Is the baby a butterfly?!" Lee freaked, causing Stevie to startle
Stevie opened her eyes and looked at them strangely then smiled. "What'd you say Lee?" She asked groggily.
"Is the baby a butterfly?" She repeated
Stevie just stared at her then busted out laughing.
Lee looked offended, confused as to why it was so funny
"No, baby...the baby is not a butterfly, why would you ask that honey?"
"Because Daddy said that's what it felt like."
Stevie rolled her eyes a little and shook her head at Lindsey. "Well he's right about that but no baby they are not a butterfly"
"Oh," Lee laid on top of her father and peered down at Stevie
Stevie leaned up and kissed her head.
"It's late, let's get some sleep," Lindsey yawned
She nodded. "Goodnight y'all"
"Goodnight baby," he kissed her
She fell back asleep in an instant
"I love you all," Lindsey whispered to his sleeping family
Authors Note: Sorry for any mistakes! I tried to catch them all!
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