My mother has been indecisive for the past few months, her mind flicking basically every twenty four hours.
She wants to move houses.
One day at least she wants to move, the next day she instead what's to spend that money on a holiday to America or Europe.
And the next day she wants a new house again.
At first she told everyone it was just really wishful thinking. That we wouldn't move. Just a thought.
The thought reoccurred and switched over and over again, until she finally decided. We were going to move.
Why?
We have a big house, with a big yard, with enough bedrooms including one for my cousin. We have two living areas and two eating areas. Trust me we are a middle class family, we don't live in a rich neighbourhood. We live in a middle class neighbourhood.
But it's not that. We don't get a say in the move, mum does.
We are moving; because of Thomas, because of the memories.
My mum doesn't want to be in our house anymore, because there are too many bad memories in the house.
My mothers bedroom is where Thomas died. The kids are is where Thomas went into cardiac arrest. The pool is where he had his only and last swim when he had cancer.
But there are not just bad memories, there are painful ones as well.
Like him opening up his birthday presents in the morning with his sister in the lounge room. Him screaming down the hallway just because he liked the noise. His spot at the dinner table. The front yard where he enjoyed doing a bush wee. His room.
And while I point out we have had so many good memories in this house with Thomas she refuses to listen.
Because it was at the table that Thomas asked silly questions. It was in his room that I would read to him and Lauren two bed time stories every night. It was the Rumpas room where he would sit with me and watch the Simpsons. It was the Kids Area where we taught him how to play Halo and Minecraft. It was the Patio that he rose his bike on.

Oh. Thomas. What are we to do.

And so we are moving: first my mother is moving my cousin and I out tomorrow. We are moving into a rental property while mum tries and sells the house. Then mum is going to sell the house in a few months time and love into the rental with my cousin and I, and then she will find a new house. One where Thomas never was. One where he never will be.